by Nola Cross
“I wish Jasmine was here to play with me,” he’d said.
“You’ll see her tonight at the party.”
“That’s right! I can’t wait!”
As Spencer scampered away again, Ben had wondered—not for the first time—why he’d encouraged his parents to take that blasted cruise at this critical time of year. He really could have used his mother’s help watching Spencer while school was out.
But if his mother had been here, would he have been at Pioneer Courthouse Square that morning in late November? Would he have met Sunny and Jasmine? Well, maybe since Sunny was a teacher at Spencer’s school, they would have eventually met at some point, but the wonderful times they had all shared these past few days—Peacock Lane, the tree farm, the amazing dinner the other night—would never have happened.
It was an almost unbearable thought.
And those two kisses, brief as they were, would not have happened either. He’d still be completely mired in his sorrow, doubting his ability or his right to be happy again.
Wait. What? Damn it! He was still mired in his sorrow. He’d managed to fall right back into that trap all over again. Ben scowled as he gathered up their pizza scraps and empty drink cups. Maybe he should go with Spencer tonight. Eat some cookies. Help some old folks celebrate the holidays.
See Sunny again.
The thought was edged with a glimmer of hope. And so he’d showered and shaved and put on dressy slacks and the green sweater with the snowflake pattern that his mom had bought him last year. As they left the house, he had purposefully averted his eyes from the portrait on the wall.
* * * *
As they all finished the last chorus of It Came Upon a Midnight Clear, Sunny turned slightly in her chair and shifted her gaze to Ben’s face. He appeared to be having a good time. His eyes had lost their bleak expression and his jaw had relaxed. And he was quite the hit with all the elderly ladies.
Did he have any idea how handsome he was? She stifled a wistful sigh. The sweater showed off his broad shoulders and chest, and the slacks hugged his butt just so. His gold hair shone in the candlelight. His eyes tonight were the color of evening shadows on snow. If she hadn’t just sworn to keep herself from getting involved any further with him, she would have taken LaRonda’s advice and been all over that.
The lights came on. At the same moment, from the back of the room, a deep voice boomed, “Ho, ho, ho.”
The children shrieked and jumped to their feet as a large man in a fur-trimmed Santa suit made his way between the tables and toward the tree. On his back he carried a big red sack filled with awkwardly shaped packages.
“Who’s been nice this year?” he asked in the same bass tone.
“Me. Me.” The children danced gleefully.
Someone pulled up a large armchair and Santa sat down. All over the room, people leaned forward in their seats in order to see and hear. The man opened his sack and began to rifle through his booty. He took out a long silver box and looked at the tag.
“Is there someone named Jonas here?”
“That’s me!” Jonas claimed his package, his freckled face wreathed in smiles.
“How about Grant? Is Grant here?”
“I’m here!”
About that time, Sunny saw a pinch of worry pucker Spencer’s forehead. At the same moment she felt Ben turn toward her with a look of concern on his face. When she nodded and tapped her finger to her lips, a huge grin bloomed across his face. They both turned back and watched as Jasmine’s and finally Spencer’s name was called. The look of pure exaltation on Spencer’s face as he clasped his gift brought a hard lump to Sunny’s throat.
And then she felt Ben reach across and take her hand. His big, warm fingers interlocked with hers and gave a gentle squeeze. When she dared to look down, she was struck by the alternating pattern of his paler skin and her darker skin woven together. It looked good on them. Finally, she lifted her gaze and looked into his face again.
Thank you, he mouthed.
Their gazes held for several seconds. Sunny felt as if she was teetering on the very end of the high diving board, just about to fall through space. What was it about this guy that got to her? She had promised herself to maintain her distance, but right now all she could think about was closing the space between them with another heady kiss.
You’re welcome, she mouthed back, finally tearing her gaze away.
Now the man in red passed small, gender-appropriate gifts to each person in the room—little boxes of chocolate, hair brushes, magnifying glasses. Each person exclaimed in appreciation as they received their gift. When Santa left, excusing himself to go check on his reindeer, everybody clapped. Then Peggy went to the front of the room and announced that cookies and punch were being served.
Sunny stood up. “I’ll go help the kids.” She left before he could say anything. When she returned ten minutes later with Jasmine and Spencer in tow, their clothes liberally dusted with cookie crumbs, the chair where Ben had been sitting was deserted. Finally she spotted him at the back of the room in conversation with a woman in a wheelchair, Letha Higgins. He seemed to be scrutinizing the width of the hallway that led to the restrooms.
“I’ll bet you can barely get through there,” she heard him say.
Letha nodded. “Yes. It’s tricky. And I can’t get into the kitchen at all. The doorway is too narrow.”
He was silent for several seconds, then he took his cellphone from his pocket and made some notes on the screen with a stylus.
“I believe I have some contractor friends who would be happy to donate time and materials to bring this up to code. Of course I’ll donate my design services as well.”
Letha clapped her hands together. “Really? There are other folks who don’t come here anymore because of the narrow hallway. They’ll be so excited to hear about this.”
“I’ll come back next week and take some measurements and do some drawings. It may take some time, but we’ll see if we can make it happen.”
Sunny frowned as she listened in, a prickle of irritation ruining what had been a perfect evening. The advisory board for the senior center had been trying for the last two years to appropriate enough funds to remodel the building. To have a stranger waltz in and make such grand promises on the spur of the moment seemed more than a bit reckless. Perhaps arrogant was an even better word. Even if they got the money they needed, there were building permits to secure and city agencies that would have to be consulted before any such remodeling could take place. The last thing these elderly folks needed was to have their hopes raised prematurely and then dashed again when things didn’t work out.
“We need to get going, Ben,” she said, unable to keep her voice from betraying her annoyance.
He cocked his head toward her, studying her expression. “All right,” he said after a moment. “I’ll be right there.”
As they made their way home through the dark city streets, she felt him turn toward her. “Are you okay, Sunny?”
“Fine.” She didn’t owe him an explanation. He was the one who was unreliable, not her.
“It feels like you’re upset with me.”
Did the man have to keep prodding? She didn’t want to start an argument, especially with the kids wide awake in the back seat. She lowered her voice. “Well, if you must know, I thought your promises to remodel the center were premature. You got old Mrs. Higgins all excited over something that isn’t going to happen.”
He let a beat or two go by. When he spoke, she thought she could hear a stiff edge of hurt in his voice. “Well, first of all, I didn’t promise anything. I said we would see if we could make it happen. And secondly, I have a cousin who’s a contractor. He makes a point of taking on a project like this every so often. He and his crew do everything pro bono. And lastly, one of my best friends works for the city as a building inspector. He really can cut through a lot of the bureaucratic red tape for us.”
“Oh.” Maybe she had misjudged him. What if he really had the reso
urces to pull this off? Maybe he actually was willing to take this project on, and wasn’t just showing off. He wasn’t Charles, after all, who was often motivated by self importance.
“That would be wonderful,” she said, feeling all of two inches high. “I’m sorry I was bitchy just now.”
In answer, he covered her hand on the steering wheel for a moment and gave a brief squeeze.
In another two minutes they were pulling up in front of his house.
“Will you come in for a glass of wine?” he asked, the shadows in the car making it impossible to see the expression on his face.
“I should probably get Jasmine home to bed.” And keep my distance from you.
“Nooo!” An immediate wailing duet began in the back seat.
“They just had sugar cookies and punch. They won’t be sleepy for hours,” Ben pointed out.
She laughed. “All right. One little glass.”
What could it hurt?
His living room was warm and charming, with lots of books, overstuffed leather furniture, and a big brick fireplace with a broad mantel. A lone red stocking hung there.
“Where’s your tree?”
“I set it up in the family room this year. We spend most of our time in there.”
“What a lovely mantel. It would look so great with fir boughs and candles.”
“Yeah.” He hesitated. “Corinne always decorated it that way. I just don’t have the flair for it. Not the big fan of HGTV that she was.” He attempted a chuckle.
Heat seared her face. “I’m sorry. I—”
“Don’t be.” He waved her apology away. “I’m going to go get the kids settled in the family room with a movie. Why don’t I take your coat? I’ll be back with your wine in a moment. Riesling or Cabernet?”
“Riesling, please.” She shrugged out of her coat and handed it to him.
After a moment Sunny heard the theme song from How the Grinch Stole Christmas filtering down the hallway. Her eyes lit on a beautifully carved hutch on the far side of the room. Then she gasped. On the wall next to it was a large portrait of a dark-haired woman in a red dress. It had to be Corinne.
Fascinated, she stepped closer.
Ben’s wife had been a beauty, with lush lips, big eyes, and a youthful figure. The daring dress was cut to show off her milky skin and to accent the slim waist and perky breasts.
I must have been crazy to think Ben would be attracted to me.
How could a man who loved a woman like Corinne want someone like her, with her dusky skin, wide hips, and big soft breasts? Sunny flushed just thinking about how silly she’d been. No doubt Ben just appreciated hanging out with another single parent and having someone to give little Spencer some special attention. She could hardly blame him for that.
As Sunny studied the picture further, she was also struck by the unnatural stiffness of the woman’s pose. Something about it wasn’t quite right.
“It’s awful, isn’t it?”
She jerked around to find Ben standing in the archway. He moved close and handed over her wine, and they stood shoulder to shoulder in front of the portrait. Sunny searched for something supportive to say. “Well, I wouldn’t say that, exactly. It’s your wife, right? Poor thing doesn’t look very comfortable on that stool.”
“She never was on the stool. Her folks had this picture Photoshopped together as my Christmas gift.”
“That explains it. I thought something felt off.” She glanced at his face. He was staring at the portrait with a furrowed brow.
“You know what?” he finally said. “This thing has to come down. I hate it. It’s not how I want to remember her. And it’s way too intrusive hanging here.”
He removed the portrait and propped it on the floor, facing the wall. Not knowing what to say, Sunny watched as he paced to the fireplace and turned.
He took a sip of his wine and gave her a bleak grin. “It’s been doing a number on me the last few days. It and Corinne’s folks.”
“What do you mean?” She slid onto one end of the comfy couch and set her glass on the coffee table.
“You know, after almost a year, I was finally beginning to shake off some of the grief. I was beginning to think it might be okay to celebrate Christmas this year and have some fun with Spencer.”
“It is okay.”
“You would think so.”
“I know so.” A small lump came up in her throat. This man had been through the wringer. “So what’s stopping you?”
“Stan and Kathy, her parents, showed up here the other night, right after that great day we had at the tree farm, and laid a fresh dose of sadness and guilt on me.” He shook his head thoughtfully. “I haven’t been able to brush it off. I’ve tried, but it keeps sucking me back in.”
“It’s a process, Ben. Be easy on yourself.” She ached to get up and go to him. No one should have to feel alone with the anguish that showed so clearly on his face. After what she’d just learned, was it any wonder he’d been blowing hot and cold this week?
“Thanks.” He gave a deep sigh. “I guess I know that intellectually, but in the middle of a funk it’s easy to feel like I’m back at the beginning again. Especially with that staring me in the face.” He gestured toward the portrait.
“I think you’re doing fine,” she said. Their gazes met and held. Something crazy happened in her belly as she looked into his shadowed eyes. And her heart was getting in on the act as well, whacking against her breastbone like a championship table tennis match.
He set his empty glass on the mantel and looked toward her again.
“You’ve made the biggest difference, Sunny. I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done for Spencer and for me.”
She shrugged. “He’s a sweet little boy, easy to love. And Jasmine’s crazy about him.” If her heart beat any harder she might just end up in a puddle on the floor.
Suddenly he moved forward. Closing the distance between them, he grabbed her hand and pulled her up. His arm went around her waist, dragging her up close against his body. She was almost overwhelmed by the warmth of his skin, the fresh, sexy cologne that clung to his sweater.
“And what about me? Do you have any feelings for me, sweet Sunny?”
She stared up into his face, struggling to understand and translate the wild mix of emotions warring inside her.
“I—”
She gasped as his lips claimed hers. Where their two other kisses had been gentle, almost experimental, this kiss commanded. His mouth moved with skill and assurance on hers, nudging her lips apart. He thrust his tongue inside, overwhelming her senses. As his tongue explored her mouth, her whole body began to vibrate with sexual awareness. A sharp twinge in her pussy made her knees almost buckle.
After a moment she pulled away and leaned back, struggling for control.
“What are we doing?” she whispered.
“Don’t you know?”
She shook her head, her eyes searching his.
“I want you. Sexy, beautiful, Sunny. I want you in my bed.”
“You do?”
“God, yes, woman. Don’t you know what you do to me?” He grabbed her hand and pressed it to the hard bulge of his erection. “Feel that? I’m alive again with you, Sunny.”
“Oh.” She felt breathless, fascinated by the firm cock beneath her hand. It was a sensation of feminine power she hadn’t felt in years. Maybe she’d never felt it. “Yes.”
“Yes?”
She nodded and lifted her lips to his. His mouth hovered above hers for long seconds, his gaze locked with hers. As he stared into her eyes, the hand at her waist moved lower, cupping her buttock and bringing her body into closer contact with his. A shock of awareness and need traveled through her body to her core. Her blood roared in her ears. And finally his lips touched hers once more. She whimpered and let her mouth open.
Now the thrust of his tongue became more rhythmic, mimicking the act of love. She leaned in, inviting his siege with breathless moans as she twined her hands in
the silky hair at the back of his neck. Then she felt his fingers at her breast and heard him groan as he took the weight of it in his hand.
“When?” he asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Can we get a sitter for the kids?”
She tried to think straight. It was hard with his thumb scribing circles over her nipple. Even through her top and bra, her breasts were exquisitely sensitive.
“Maybe Peggy.”
“Great idea. How about tomorrow night?”
“I’ll call her in the morning.”
“Can’t you call her right now?”
Sunny laughed. “I guess so. It’s not nine o’clock yet. But she’s probably still at the senior center.”
“She doesn’t have a cellphone?”
“No.”
He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and stood her away. “If I keep kissing you I’ll embarrass myself.”
She laughed again. “I can’t wait for tomorrow.”
Chapter 8
Since Peggy had babysat Jasmine in the past and was familiar with Sunny’s home, they left both kids there, happily playing with Spencer’s new Legos. He’d brought his sleeping bag and pillow along.
“Do you think the kids have fallen asleep yet?” Sunny dabbed her mouth with the linen napkin and pushed her empty dinner plate to the side. The seafood Caesar salad had been absolutely perfect.
Ben chuckled. “Probably not. But I think we all knew that would happen when we agreed to let them camp by the Christmas tree. It’s great that Peggy’s such a good sport.”
“She’s the best.”