by Pat Simmons
Rahn’s heart ached for her. His fist wanted to connect with the jaw of the jerk who’d misused her. But if Rahn wanted her—and he did—he had to be the better man. He had something to prove, and this time, he couldn’t do it on the baseball field, where his talents were a given.
“I was reared in the church,” Shae went on, “so all I know about relationships is the groundwork God has laid.” Talking seemed to be her therapy as she chipped away at his side of the cake. “Plus, I don’t date outside the body of Christ.” She paused and gave him a pointed stare. “In your interview with Greg Saxon, you thanked God for sparing you. Has your commitment to God really changed since then?”
A pop quiz. Rahn was thoughtful about his response. Hoping she wouldn’t protest, he took her free hand in his. “I’m not saying I’ve done everything right in my life, but I know God gave me a second chance with that carjacking.” And maybe with you, too. “I’m confident I’m man enough to clean up another man’s mess. Let me kiss and make it better—figuratively, until you say otherwise,” he added quickly, seeing her raised eyebrow.
“He was a married man,” she blurted out.
What? Rahn was shocked. Shae Carmen didn’t come across as the type of woman who would compromise herself for any man, especially one who wasn’t hers to begin with.
“But I didn’t know it,” she went on to explain. “I was humiliated in front of my whole congregation.” She made a sweeping gesture with her arm.
“Ouch.”
She nodded. “I was knocked off the pedestal I had created by my vanity, thinking I was ‘all that’ just because I was on TV. It was pure novice immaturity.” Bowing her head, she seemed embarrassed. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”
“I’m hoping it’s because you’re willing to trust me. I don’t have those types of skeletons in my closet that would hurt you,” Rahn said, pleading his case. He leaned closer and lowered his voice to a whisper, even though they were alone, with no one to overhear. “Something connected between us the first time I saw you. I want to be an open book with you, Shae. I want to be the man who doesn’t disappoint you.”
She sniffed, then looked up. “Tell me about your relationship with God—the truth.” Folding her arms, she sat attentively, like an expectant student.
Evidently his walk with God was really that important to her. “Fair question.” He thought about the Scripture his mother had drilled into him and his sister whenever they’d gotten into trouble as children: “The truth shall make you free.” His truth was going to either win or lose his case with Shae. He took a deep breath. “I haven’t always made the right decisions in my career and personal life. I’m sure God has a Rolodex of my wrongdoings, but the carjacking attempt was a wakeup call. Since then, I’ve been trying to read the Bible—but it’s like empty pages with nothing to propel me, so I’m in limbo. I really want to feel I’ve made a change, but I guess, honestly, I don’t.”
She graced him with an unexpected smile, which was encouraging. “Salvation is a package of repentance, washing away your sins in Jesus’ name, and receiving the Holy Ghost, which is an armor that the devil can’t penetrate, and a spiritual strength to live a holy life.”
He wanted her passion. “Show me this confidence you have in God. This is not a dare. Make a believer out of me, and I’ll show you that God still has a few good men out there.”
Shae narrowed her eyes pensively and glanced around the room, seeming to look in every direction but his. When she stood, so did Rahn, wondering if he had lost his case.
“I attend Bethesda Temple on Interstate Seventy,” she finally said. “Service starts at ten thirty.”
“I’ll pick you up at ten.”
“I’ll meet you there,” she countered.
“You don’t have to drive in this relationship. Sit back and ride and let a real man show you how to pamper a woman.” Rahn took her coat and gently helped guide her arms through the sleeves. “Nothing to say?” he whispered close to her ear, making her shiver.
“Bring your Bible and meet me in the lobby of the Westmoreland Condominiums on Union,” she said with finality.
“I’ll be there at nine fifty-eight.”
“Make that fifty-six,” she said, with a streak of mischief in her eyes.
“You just won’t let go of that steering wheel, will you?” Rahn laughed. He was going to enjoy matching wits with the lovely Shae Carmen.
9
I’ve lost my mind,” Shae uttered in disbelief. Perched on top of her velvet comforter, she stared at the remnants of her impromptu date with Rahn the previous night. Those helium balloons printed with “Thinking of You” were like neon signs flashing before her eyes. Thinking of you…thinking of you… With her phone in one hand and a strand of curls in the other, Shae closed her eyes and groaned. “I’ve lost my mind,” she muttered again.
“And you woke me up to tell me that?” Brecee yawned. “Do you need a referral to seek counseling or something?”
Shae had needed to vent, so she’d reached out to Brecee—and to Stacy, Shari, and even her mother. All of them were on the conference line—Shari and her mother sharing a line, since they lived together—but Brecee was the only one who’d chimed in thus far. How she managed to possess a sense of humor after a twelve-hour shift at Driscoll Children’s Hospital in Houston, Shae didn’t know.
Most days, she welcomed her sister’s wit. But now, just hours before Rahn was scheduled to pick her up for church, she found the sarcasm irritating.
“Maybe he drugged the cake, because I told him that I was the other wom—”
“There you go again,” Brecee said in an exasperated tone. “You were never the ‘other woman.’ He was the jerk…” She ranted until she’d apparently depleted all of the adjectives in her mental thesaurus when it came to Alex, then took a deep breath. “Aah, that felt good. I should be able to sleep like a baby now that I know my big sister has left her comfort zone.”
Stacy laughed. “Sis, you need to have your blood pressure checked. You’re way too high-strung for this early hour. And I thought my husband was an over-the-top morning person. Ted has nothing on you.”
“Shae, you are a good judge of character.” Her second-oldest sister, Shari, jumped into the fray with her steady, well-reasoned attorney’s tone. “This is a different city, different circumstances, different man. Besides, everything you want to find out about anybody, you can start digging into on the Internet, as if you didn’t already know that. There had to be something about Rahn that caused you to open up to him. Maybe it’s a good sign.”
“Or a bad one,” Brecee countered, bursting the balloon Shari was trying to inflate for Shae.
“Will you pick a side and stay on it?” Shae snapped at her baby sister. “You’re the one who told me to get back in the ring.”
“So what if I’ve got a little multiple personality thing going on here? This is the first time I’m hearing about Rahn Maxwell. And though I don’t know anything about him now, I will. Like Shari said, you’ve got to love social media. All I have to say is, the brother better watch out, because the Carmen sisters will take him down if he steps out of line.”
“Hush,” their mother demanded, commandeering the conversation.
Everyone laughed, including Brecee, and then she yawned again. “On that note, I’m going back to sleep. Bernard is waiting for me.”
“Who’s Bernard?” Shae asked in unison with her mother and other sisters.
“The man in my dreams.” With a click, Brecee exited the conference call.
“She got us on that one.” Shae rolled her eyes. When it came to men, her younger sister’s opinions shifted continually, depending on her mood.
“I do like Rahn,” Shae admitted. There was no reason to hide her feelings from her family. Getting off her bed, Shae was drawn to the balloons like a magnet. She smiled, then knit her brows together in concern. “Do you think I have some type of dent in my spiritual armor that invites the enemy? Do I have an u
nderlying weakness that makes me vulnerable to attract losers, abusers, cheaters, or bisexual men?”
“Sis,” Shari uttered softly, “I believe you have a pure heart, and that’s what draws good people, but sometimes, the devil tags along. Shake the devil off and keep steppin’ forward.”
“I’ve tried, but I keep having flashbacks to that moment when God chastened me. Jesus might as well have handed out a Revelation three seventeen T-shirt when Alex’s estranged wife basically sang her husband’s praises in front of the congregation.”
“‘Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked,’” her mother recited, then added, “God does chasten those He loves, so thank God He loves you. That was then, and this is now—like Shari said, different man, different situation. You said Rahn wants to prove himself to you. Let him. Church is a good place to start.” She paused. “Personally, I think you’re overthinking this and getting carried away when you need to be getting ready for church.”
Shae sighed. “You’re right.” She checked the clock on the wall. She still had plenty of time before Rahn was scheduled to show up. “I’m just a little nervous because I do feel this connection to him. But I don’t want it to cloud my judgment, since he doesn’t meet the ‘equally yoked’ protocol.”
“Daughter, many brothers are saved now because they were attracted to a woman in the church. Don’t be so naive to think men don’t want to live as men of God. Remember Brother Phillip Graves? He’s a fine man today, but he was a common criminal until the day he walked into the church.”
“You’re kidding me!” Shari exclaimed, saying exactly what was on the tip of Shae’s tongue. “Minister Graves, a criminal? Usually I can sniff those out, or I wouldn’t be a criminal attorney.”
They all chuckled.
“That’s right, baby. Prison record and all. But his life of crime ended when he met Debra Cupples.” Their mother paused. “Then, there’s Pete Shepard, Henry Holmes, Al Price…the list goes on.”
This discussion was truly a revelation about the men in Shae’s home church in Philly, though most of the goings-on had occurred before she’d even been born. Two of the men her mother mentioned had already passed away, but they had been faithful to the Lord until their deaths, as far as Shae had heard from the church rumor mill.
Men can see only the outside of a person’s appearance, but I see the hearts and will judge the good and evil, God spoke to her heart.
Shae knew that Scripture—1 Samuel 16:7.
“Baby, don’t be afraid of letting God use you,” her mother said, interrupting Shae’s moment of reflection. “People don’t come into the church already saved.”
“Mother’s right,” Shari affirmed. “Maybe this is God’s purpose.”
“Let me just add a footnote here, as the big sister,” Stacy inserted. “I don’t think this is so much about Rahn’s lack of commitment to God. I think you would have the same reservations about any man in the body of Christ, from the janitor to the pastor.”
“And you should have some hesitation, not suspicion,” Mother tacked on. “Yes, unfortunately, daughters, Matthew thirteen says that the tares do grow alongside the wheat. Pray that God will separate them and give you the right one this time.”
“Amen, Mother,” the sisters said in unison.
“Oh, before I forget”—Mother again—“Mother Stillwell says she’s been thinking about you and lifting your name up to the Lord.”
Shae was the first to groan, followed by Stacy and Shari. “Whenever Mother Stillwell starts thinking, it’s not a good sign.”
“But she’s praying, sweetie, and no matter how misdirected our thoughts, Jesus can straighten them out.”
The conference call concluded with their mother having the last word.
***
Rahn had thought his mother would be ecstatic to learn that he’d accepted an invitation to a Sunday worship service. But when he called her on Sunday morning, she cautioned him, “God knows the hearts of men that are deceitfully wicked. That’s Jeremiah seventeen, verses nine and ten. Salvation has to be about you and you alone, not because another pretty face invited you to church.”
As Rahn listened, he got dressed. He was determined not to be late, not because Shae had set the time but because he was going to take the lead in this relationship.
His mother continued her monologue. “Since everything has a purpose, God used those thugs to get your attention. Maybe your woman friend will point you in the right direction, so I’m glad you’re taking advantage of the Lord’s open casting call.” She paused. “Remember, many are called, Son, but few are chosen. Strive to be a standout for God as you are in baseball.”
A standout in baseball. Rahn didn’t have time to dwell on his career. He had to go. “Thanks for the advice, Mom.” They exchanged “I love you’s” and ended the call.
Once he was satisfied with his appearance, he went to his library downstairs and located his Bible. Shaking his head, Rahn was ashamed he had never opened it. Since the attempted carjacking, he had signed up to receive a daily Scripture via e-mail, but he hadn’t been reading it faithfully. “First time for everything.” After setting his home security system, he drove to the Westmoreland Condos, arriving with seven minutes to spare.
He strolled into the building, admiring the décor and amenities. The security guard, an older, wiry gentleman, popped up from behind an executive-looking desk of thick wood. His eyes lit with recognition. He grinned, puffed out his chest, and extended his hand. “Rahn Maxwell. It’s nice to finally meet you.”
Rahn checked the man’s badge. “Thank you, Mr. Chapman. I’m here to pick up Miss Carmen.”
“Of course. She told me to expect you.” Beaming, he lifted the phone receiver. “I’ll let her know you’re here.”
“No, I’ll wait. I’m early.” Besides, Rahn wanted her to wonder if he was a man of his word.
The guard seemed pleased to have his attention for a few minutes. “I’ve been watching the Cardinals since I was a boy. I remember your dad. You’re on the path to outshine him.”
That comment gave Rahn pause. “My father was a tough act to follow, but I’m striving to be like him. I’ve had some rough patches on the road to get where I am today, but—” The elevator bell chimed, and Rahn glanced over his shoulder. His jaw dropped. “Shae.” She looked exquisite.
Dismissing Mr. Chapman, Rahn straightened to his full height. He didn’t know what to study first—Shae’s smile, face, dress, shoes, legs, or hat. His eyes bounced like a pinball as she stood, rooted in place, waiting for him to come to her.
Without even trying, the woman was a temptress. From what he had gathered about her, Shae was a godly woman inside and outside. He was determined to protect her heart.
“You’re early,” she whispered.
“How could any man keep you waiting?”
Rahn waved to Mr. Chapman on his way out, then guided Shae to his car. He opened the passenger door, and she slipped inside. “Buckle up—my wife may depend on it.”
Shae looked at him. “What?”
Rahn hadn’t realized he had spoken out loud. “Your seatbelt.” He pointed. “Buckle up. Your life depends on it.”
Her lips form an o, and she fastened the seatbelt.
He rounded the car, got behind the wheel, and stole a few glances before starting the engine. Shae’s perfume alone would make it a challenge to keep his hormones dormant. Jesus might have to gore out his eyes to keep him from lusting, and she wasn’t even dressed to seduce him. God, help me not to mess this up with You or her.
During the drive, Rahn kept the conversation safe, asking Shae about her family, and whether she had any nieces or nephews.
“Only my oldest sister, Stacy, is married,” Shae replied, “but she and Ted don’t have any children yet. How about you?”
“Two nephews—twins—Julius and Julian.” Rahn grinned. “Nob
ody was surprised, though, since my paternal grandmother was a twin.”
“There are no twins in my family, as far as I know. But my sisters and I might as well have been quadruplets, being as close in age as we are.”
“There are four of you?”
“Yes: Stacy, Sharmaine, Sabrece, and me.”
“That’s a lot of s names.”
“It was my mother’s way of honoring my father. His name was Saul.”
“So, you were Daddy’s little girl.” Rahn could only imagine.
Shae angled her body to face him. “Yes, and so were my sisters, until the day he died, twelve years ago. I still miss Daddy.”
“Me, too,” he said, more to himself. The memories he’d made with his father were endless. Ronald had never stopped being a father, but, as Rahn had grown, they’d become friends, with Rahn feeling comfortable confiding in his father as such.
“This is it.” Shae pointed to the Bermuda Drive exit, and Rahn turned off of Interstate 70. They inched along behind a long line of cars waiting to turn into a shopping-center-sized parking lot.
He snagged the first available spot, then grabbed his Bible from the backseat and helped Shae out. Despite the slight chill, Rahn didn’t rush her to the door. He enjoyed their closeness as they fell into a comfortable unhurried stride.
Shae giggled.
“What’s so funny?”
She bit her bottom lip, as if debating whether to share her thoughts, then shrugged. “You and me. Here I am with Rahn Maxwell, who is larger than life. It’s like the captain of the baseball team taking me to prom.” She giggled again.
“Not hero worship from you, too.” Rahn groaned, then gave her a pointed stare to make sure he had her full attention. “Lady, I’ll take you anywhere you want to go, but let’s get one thing straight: When I’m with you, I know how to shut out everything else around me.”