Suddenly she shifted her hands on the steering wheel, her gaze following her fingers. “Life isn’t always sunshine and roses, is it?”
“No,” he agreed quietly.
She lifted her head to look out at the rain. “It’s not a nice story. To you maybe I’ll seem silly, even ungrateful.”
“Everyone has a story, Lis.”
“Okay.” She took a deep breath. “Okay.”
When she fell silent again, he thought that she had changed her mind, but then she started speaking softly. “Since I can remember my parents have had me at singing auditions, dance lessons, pretty much anything in the entertainment industry. Mum had big plans for me. When I got a little older she realised I wasn’t ever going to be graceful on the dance floor. Kind of hard to have a little hippo tripping around amongst the gazelles and take it seriously. So she concentrated on my singing.”
Simon listened, hearing the inflictions in her voice.
“Dad just went along with her, he never took my side when I grew older and wanted to do other things. It was always about keeping Mum happy. My older brother never got a look in, poor old Moz. He never had much of a chance to be involved in clubs and things because we were dragged from pillar to post, from one city to another, state to state, always chasing the audition that would win us the big time. We changed so many schools that we never really had a chance to form good friendships. It was Moz and me needing to finish high school that finally forced us to settle in one place.” Elissa inhaled deeply. “I met Ash at school and we bonded. Moz made some good friends. Finally we had a normal life. Kind of. I had to keep going to auditions in-between school. However, I never become that big star, was always mediocre in comparison to other kids.”
Privately, Simon thought Elissa was anything but mediocre. He sure as hell was going to show her that later.
“I rebelled, as all kids do, but Mum’s an expert at running the guilt trip. Every time I mentioned doing something else she’d bring up how much money they’d spent trying to get me a singing career, what they’d given up for me, what Moz had given up for me. I’d always give in, always feel so unworthy. I never realised how much more her dream meant to her than her own daughter until the time Moz came home for a weekend. I was pretty sick, high fever, sweats, burning throat, the works, and Mum was standing over me yelling, still packing that suitcase, so intent on flying me to the next state for a big audition. I could hardly stand and she was practically shoving my arms in my jacket. Moz was twenty, I was sixteen. He came into the lounge and he blew it, and when Moz blows you take cover. He’s built like a brick dunny. He grabbed my arm, yanked me behind him and gave our mother a verbal blasting that I think the whole neighbourhood heard. He threatened to report her for neglect if she forced me to go to the audition while I was sick. Dad just disappeared out the back, he wasn’t getting involved.” She pressed her forefingers together. “That’s when I finally knew that Dad was never going to be there for me.”
For that alone the man deserved to have the shit beaten out of him, but Simon managed to keep the anger from his tone. “What happened?”
“Mum was still arguing while Moz took me out to his car and shoved me in the passenger seat. He took me to hospital. I was in intensive care for a week with pneumonia. The doctors weren’t sure if I’d make it at first, it was so bad.”
Jesus. He had to force down the anger flaring inside him at just the thought of it, keep his expression pleasant, interested.
“When I got better Moz took me to his place for awhile. Pissed Mum off, but after what had just happened she couldn’t really do anything about it. Guess she felt bad, after all, she’d almost lost her investment.” The last was said with bitterness. “Moz sat me down, told me to take a look at my life, decide what I wanted to do. I kind of did take his advice, I started an after school job several days a week, saved some money, but I still felt obligated to my parents so I continued to do odd singing jobs. When I left school I worked a variety of jobs, let the singing slide until the night Dad told me that they were in danger of losing their house because they didn’t have money to pay the mortgage. They’d spent all their money on me, kept nothing for them. You can imagine I felt like shit, I owed them so much, so I signed on with Calum Hackery, an agent Mum found, and he got me more lucrative singing jobs. I was good enough to sing in variety shows, at presentations, high society clubs and parties, but I still didn’t break the big time. Didn’t stop Mum and now Calum from riding me. Yeah, now even Calum was at me, telling me I owed him, I owed my parents. If it wasn’t for any of them, I wouldn’t have a career.” Elissa gave a bitter smile. “Some career. I grew to hate singing at those clubs, smiling at all those people who thought I was some star, watching Mum and Dad dress up to match the people they wanted to mingle with, see them brag about their talented daughter while there.”
Simon watched her hands, noted how her fingers continued to move restlessly, linking and unlinking, rubbing against each other. More than anything he wanted to take those small hands in his, hold them gently, squeeze them reassuringly, but to distract her now would be the worse thing he could do. It took all he had not to swear.
“Then something bad happened to a friend of mine. Something really bad.”
Yeah, he knew who, too, and what. Ash had been raped. However, she had no idea he knew and he’d never tell her, no matter what happened. If Ash ever wanted to tell him, he was more than ready to listen, but until then he said nothing.
“Calum had arranged for me to sing somewhere that same night but no way in hell was I leaving my best friend. I drew the line that night. Well, one of a couple. It was certainly the beginning. I refused to go anywhere for several months, then I refused to leave the city until I knew she was okay. You don’t leave your friend suffering alone.” For the first time Elissa looked at him, fire of a different kind burning in her eyes. “You just don’t.”
“I know,” he agreed softly.
“I saw what happened, and all I could do was be there for her. It was an eye-opener. Anything in life could happen. Slowly but surely I started cutting back, I started doing what I wanted though I was still tied into the contract, and when Calum and my parents found I wanted out of that contract they put the screws in. I was reminded so often of what my family had given up for me, how much I owed them that I could never repay, how much I owed Calum for my slow but sure rise up society’s ladder. The bugger of it was I didn’t want it. Moz never gave up on me, he was always telling me to do what I wanted with my life, that I didn’t owe anyone anything. Then I found out the one thing that killed it all for me.” She looked at him.
He returned her gaze steadily, silently encouraging her.
“Don’t mistake me. I like singing, love it, but it’s not my life. I have fun with it. I go to several pubs without anyone really knowing who I am, I don’t charge anything, just go up on stage and sing my heart out. I rock along and I have a hell of a good time. That’s what singing is for me, fun, not my life. The final straw came when I was in the last city where I flew over from home with Calum to sing at one of the big clubs. The night before I snuck into a pub I knew and sang, had a great time. Afterwards I was in the back of the pub when the phone rang. It was Moz. He’d found out something that was going to change my life. Turned out my parents were never in danger of losing their home. It had been paid for years before, and their bank accounts were fatter than mine with all the cuts they got from my singing. Mum was my manager, remember? Trusted her a little bit too much, turns out.” The bleakness in Elissa’s eyes was stark, raw. “Can you imagine? Emotionally blackmailed by my own loving parents. They were living high on the hog over my back.”
“That would have been a shock.” How inane did those pathetic words sound in the face of what she’d revealed?
Elissa’s teeth clenched before she forced the tightness from her jaw. “You can imagine I was in no mood to face anyone, but everywhere I turned there was nothing but people. I knew part of the fourth floor was empt
y.”
Fourth floor? Simon’s eyes narrowed. Fourth floor? In the city? She’d sung in a pub?
“Yeah,” Elissa said tiredly. “That night you found me crying my eyes out? That wasn’t the best night of my life.”
“Jesus, Lis.” He couldn’t help it, took her hand, drew it up to his lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.
“You were so sweet, Simon, so kind. But I promised myself I wouldn’t become involved with anyone until I found myself. I refused to re-sign the contract with Calum before I came here. I have no intention of going back to that life. I have no intention of supporting my lying, deceiving parents.” Her voice cracked. “I lost a lot of years propping them up. It’s time I find myself.”
“You have a lot of catching up to do,” he agreed.
“I do. I don’t think I’m exactly stable. Not that I’m unstable or anything. Cripes, that didn’t come out right.”
Simon grinned. “I know what you mean.”
“You don’t have to worry about me.”
“Okay.” He would, anyway, because there was something about her that just pulled at him, pulled at his protective instincts.
“I’m just trying to find myself. People are still trying to make demands of me, I don’t want what they’re demanding. I’m not going to fold again.”
“Still pushing?” He nodded. “Still ringing you?”
“Yeah. That’s kind of why I did my block and threw the phone out. My version of a temper tantrum.” She grinned a little sheepishly. “My parents and Calum aren’t inclined to take ‘no’ for an answer. It’s going to take awhile for them to accept it.”
“But you made the break.”
“Yeah, I did.” She sighed. “Sometimes the pressure still gets to me a little, such as when they ring and try to make me come back. Weak, huh?”
“Not weak at all. Pressure to do what you don’t want to do can be enough to break anyone.”
“Do you think I’m not strong enough to stand under the pressure?”
Did he? For years she’d been under some pretty heavy shit of the kind that could be soul-destroying. Simon studied her, from the top of that glossy, fair hair to the tip of that small, determined chin. Those cute little apple cheeks were pale, but there was a definite glint in those big, brown eyes that spoke of a strong backbone.
He didn’t know her personally, not that much, but instinct told him that Elissa wasn’t ready to give up yet, wouldn’t buckle under the pressure. Troubled, anxious, stressed, but she was trying to find herself. That spoke of hope, of determination, not giving up.
Leaning forward slowly so as not to alarm her, he couldn’t help but notice the way those beautiful eyes widened. But nor did she draw away or hold up a hand to keep the distance between them.
Bracing one hand on the brake, his elbow on the backrest of the seat, he regarded her steadily. “No, Lis, I don’t think you’ll buckle under the pressure.”
Her gaze was searching. “You sure?”
“Yep.”
Out of the blue, a faint smile flirted around those lush lips. “Always so sure of yourself, aren’t you?”
“I am when I know I’m right.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Glad to see the humour sparkling in her eyes, the trace of worry banished for a brief instant, Simon laughed. “You do that.”
She relaxed against the door. “You’re an easy man to talk to, Simon.”
“Thanks.” He winked. “I do try.”
He was rewarded by those lush lips curving into a big smile. He couldn’t help but be drawn to those lips, to the lushness, the way her eyes sparkled with amusement. With the worry banished she looked so pretty, so sweet. Beguiling. He wanted a taste of those lips, see if they were as delicious as he’d remembered.
Simon was unconsciously leaning even closer when she suddenly straightened, her gaze drawn to the windscreen as a truck rumbled past in clear view.
“The rain has eased up. Wow.” She wound down the window. “I hadn’t even noticed.”
Damn the rain. Damn the truck. With a silent sigh, Simon eased back into the seat. Probably for the best, anyway. Damn it.
“I better get you back to the fire station and return home, Ash’ll be wondering what’s happened.” She reached for the money. “I’ll just dash inside and get the bread.”
“Let me.” He plucked the five dollar note from her fingers. “You stay in here.”
“I can do it.”
“You can, but you’re not.” Opening the door, he shivered as he got out. “It’s getting cold now. Start the car, turn on the heater, de-mist the windscreen.” When she didn’t reply, he bent down to look in at her questioningly. She was staring at him. “What?”
“Wow. I just saw you go from sweet and easy to bossy and domineering in zero point two seconds.”
Really? Huh, he hadn’t even noticed. At work he’d done it, when in the middle of a fire, helping people, at accidents, he had no qualms with giving orders, no hesitation in pulling the authoritarian shit if it was called for, but he rarely did it during a normal day. “Sorry.” But interesting.
“Don’t be. It’s kind of hot.” Almost instantly she coloured, her hand coming up to cover her mouth in mortification.
His eyebrows shot up in amusement. Okay, that was good to hear, too. Even better to know. And damned if she didn’t just look so cute there with those apple cheeks now almost scarlet. He just knew his grin was all teeth.
When he just kept looking at her, using the silence for all it was worth to see what she’d end up saying, she finally glanced away, biting her bottom lip. “Um…the bread?”
Looked like she was going to do the ‘admit nothing’ routine.
Silently laughing, Simon straightened and strode around the building, going into the service station café to get the bread. The rain started sprinkling down a little heavier in the short time he was inside and he stepped out to find that she’d parked the car next to the veranda so he didn’t have to get wet.
She’d regained her composure. With a slightly cooler smile, she started the car and pulled out onto the road. There was a slight tension in her shoulders again, no doubt put there because of her blurted admission. However, broaching the subject wasn’t going to help their friendship develop further so he kept quiet.
When she pulled the car up in front of the fire station doorway, he took the bags from behind the seat. “Thanks for the lift, Lis.”
“No worries.” She watched him get out, surprise evident on her face when he walked around the front of the car to bend down beside the driver’s door. Winding down the window, she raised questioning brows.
“Drive home safely,” he said. “If the rain teems down heavily again, pull to the side of the road and put your hazard lights on.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t try to keep going no matter how tempting.”
“I’m not that silly,” she replied a trifle tartly.
Hmm, a little prickly. No help for that now. Simon couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to touch the shadows under her eyes. “And get some sleep.”
Yep, that shocked the shit out of her. Her mouth fell open. “I beg your pardon?”
“Sorting yourself out requires a clear head. You’re tired. Get some rest.”
Now her brows drew together in irritation. Okay, that looked cute as well. “I think you’re overstepping your boundaries, Simon.”
“Really?” He smiled easily.
“Yes.”
“Huh. Anyway, try sleeping in instead of getting up at the arse-crack of dawn and walking.”
“I don’t sleep well so I walk.” There was a hint of lash in her voice. “If it’s any business of yours.”
“Sweetheart,” he drawled, enjoying the flash of spirit in her eyes, “you’re my friend. Of course it’s my business.” Before she could retort hotly, Simon couldn’t help but teasingly chuck her under the chin. “Catch you later.”
“Not if I run you over firs
t,” she shot back.
Laughing, he stood back, watching as she put the car in gear and drove off. Cripes, he just couldn’t help but yank her chain a little, her temper was welcome proof of her spirit and certainly suited her better than tears.
Turning, he strode the few feet to the huge, open doorway of the fire station.
Leaning against the door frame with his arms folded, Ryder eyed him curiously. Beside him Scott stood, legs slightly braced apart, hands in pockets, also eyeing him curiously. Beside him stood Kirk in jeans and jumper, and damned if he wasn’t eyeing him curiously as well.
“Hi.” He walked past them. Obviously they had something on their minds, it was just a matter of waiting for them to spring it on him, whatever it was.
“Two bags.” Ryder fell in beside him. “How much food is left in there?”
“I didn’t touch a bite.”
“Jesus, a miracle has occurred in our very own town.”
Scott fell in on his other side. “So, Elissa was out and about, hey?”
“Yep. Out getting bread for dinner.” Entering the kitchenette, Simon plonked the bags on the table. “Food should still have some heat, but we might have to bung the chips in the microwave and give them a blast.”
Opening the bags, Ryder started to unload the variety of meat pies, boxes of hot chips, bags of Dim Sims and Chiko Rolls, and the beef salad roll. “That’s it? Nothing for your snack?”
“The roll is my snack.” Simon grabbed it and popped it into the ‘fridge. “A little something to tide me over until end of shift.”
“Because God forbid you get stuck for two hours before knock-off with no more tucker.”
“I knew you’d understand.”
Kirk dropped into one of the seats, ripping open the paper bag containing his hot meat pie.
“Anyway, how come you’re not home eating with Molly?” Ryder queried. “She finally see sense and kick your arse out?”
“I dropped her off at Mrs Preston’s to look at Scott’s old crib,” Kirk replied. “Mrs Preston had a stack of photo albums and when they started cooing and ahhing over them, I knew I was in for a long evening.”
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