Yet for all their closeness in spirit, their bodies were as far apart as ever. Gavin felt that at any moment he might go insane with wanting her. He wiped the sweat from his eyes as he stared across the yard and saw Judith walking toward him. Or did he imagine it? She seemed to be everywhere before his eyes, even when she was not.
“I brought you something cool to drink,” she said, holding out a mug to him.
He stared at her intently.
She put the mug beside him on the bench. “Gavin, are you well?” she asked as she put a cool hand on his brow.
He grabbed her violently and pulled her down. His lips sought hers hungrily, forcing them open. He didn’t think that she might deny him; he was past caring.
Her arms went about his neck and her response to his kiss was as eager as his. Neither cared that half the castlefolk watched. There was no one but the two of them. Gavin moved his lips to her neck. He wasn’t gentle. He acted as if he would devour her if at all possible.
“My lord!” someone said impatiently.
Judith opened her eyes to see a boy standing nearby, a rolled paper in his hand. She suddenly remembered who and where she was. “Gavin, there is a message for you.”
He didn’t move his lips from her neck, and Judith had to concentrate very hard to keep her mind on the waiting boy.
“My lord,” the boy said. “It’s an urgent message.” He was very young—before his first beard—and he looked on Gavin’s kissing of a woman as a waste of time.
“Here!” Gavin said as he snatched the parchment from the boy. “Now go and don’t bother me anymore.”
He threw the paper on the ground before turning once again to his wife’s lips.
But Judith was now very aware of their public place. “Gavin,” she said sternly, struggling to get off his lap. “You must read it.”
He looked up at her as she stood over him, his breath coming hard and fast. “You read it,” he said as he grabbed the mug of liquid Judith had brought. Maybe it would cool his hot blood.
Judith unrolled the paper with a worried frown, her face draining of color as she read.
Instantly Gavin was concerned. “Is it bad news?” When she looked up, his breath stopped, for there again he saw the coldness in her eyes. Her beautiful, warm, passionate eyes flashed daggers of hate at him.
“I am three times a fool!” she said through clenched teeth as she threw the parchment in his face. She turned on her heel and stalked toward the manor house.
Gavin took the parchment from his lap.
My dearest, I send this in private so I may tell you of my love freely. Tomorrow I wed Edmund Chatworth. Pray for me, think of me, as I will think of you. Remember always that my life is yours. Without your love I am nothing. I count the moments until I am yours again.
All my love,
Alice
“Trouble, my lord?” John Bassett asked.
Gavin put the missive down. “More than I have ever known. Tell me, John, you are an older man. Perhaps you know something about women.”
John chuckled. “No man does, my lord.”
“Is it possible to give your love to one woman, yet desire another until you are nearly mad?”
John shook his head as he watched his master staring after his wife’s retreating form. “Does this man also desire the woman he loves?”
“Surely!” Gavin answered. “But perhaps not…not in the same manner.”
“Ah, I see. A holy love, as for the Virgin. I am a simple man. If it were me, I’d take the earthly one. I think love would come if the woman were a joy in bed.”
Gavin propped his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. “Women were created to tempt men. They are the devil’s own.”
John smiled. “I think that if I were to meet old Scratch, I might thank him for that bit of evil work.”
For Gavin, the next three days were hell. Judith would neither look at him nor speak to him. If at all possible, she would not be anywhere near him. And the more haughtily she treated him the more furious he became.
“Stay!” he ordered her on one night as she started to leave the room when he entered.
“Of course, my lord,” she said as she curtsied. Judith kept her head bowed, her eyes never meeting his.
Once Gavin thought her eyes were red, as if she’d been crying. But that was nonsense, of course. What reason did she have to cry? He was the one being punished, not her. He’d shown he wanted to be kind, yet she chose to despise him. Well, she’d gotten over it once, and she would get over it again. Yet the days passed, and still Judith was cold to him. He heard her laughter, but when he appeared, the smile died on her face. He felt he should slap her, force her to respond to him; even anger was better than the way she looked through him. But Gavin couldn’t hurt her. He wanted to hold her and even apologize. For what? He spent his days riding hard, training hard, yet at night he didn’t sleep. He found himself making excuses to be near her, just to see if he could touch her.
Judith had cried until she was nearly ill. How could she have forgotten so soon that he was such a vile man? Yet for all the anguish the letter caused, she had to steel herself from running to his arms. Judith hated Gavin yet her body burned for him every moment of every hour of every day.
“My lady,” Joan said quietly. Many of the servants had learned to tiptoe about their master and mistress lately. “Lord Gavin asks you to come to him in the great hall.”
“I will not!” Judith replied without hesitation.
“He said it was urgent, to do with your parents.”
“My mother?” she asked, immediately concerned.
“I don’t know. He said only that he must speak with you at once.”
As soon as Judith saw her husband, she knew something was very wrong. His eyes were like black coals, his lips so tightly drawn that they appeared to be only a slash across his face.
He turned his wrath on her. “Why didn’t you tell me you were pledged to somone else before me?”
Judith was bewildered. “I told you I was pledged to the church.”
“You know I don’t mean the church. What about that man you laughed and flirted with at the tournament? I should have known then.”
Judith could feel the blood beginning to pound through her veins. “You should have known what? That any man would be a more suitable husband than you?”
Gavin took a step forward, his manner threatening, but Judith did not retreat. “Walter Demari has lain claim to you and your lands. To prove his claim, he has killed your father and taken your mother captive.”
Immediately, all the anger left Judith. She felt deflated and weak. She grabbed a chair back to steady herself. “Killed? Captive?” she managed to whisper.
Gavin calmed somewhat and put a hand on her arm. “I didn’t mean to tell you like that. It’s just that the man lays claim to what is mine!”
“Yours?” Judith stared at him. “My father killed, my mother captured, my lands seized—and you dare talk to me of what you have lost?”
He drew away from her. “Let’s talk reasonably. Were you pledged to Walter Demari?”
“I was not.”
“Are you sure?”
She only glared at him in answer.
“He says that he will return your mother to safety if you will go to him.”
She turned instantly. “Then I will go.”
“No!” Gavin said and pulled her back to the seat. “You cannot! You are mine!”
She stared up at him, her mind concentrating on business. “If I am yours and my lands are yours, how does this man plan to get them? Even if he fights you, he cannot fight all your kin.”
“Demari doesn’t plan to do so.” Gavin’s eyes bored into hers. “He has been told we don’t sleep together. He asks for an annulment, that you declare before the king your distaste for me and your desire for him.”
“And if I do this, he will release my mother, unharmed?”
“That is what he says.”
“And
what if I don’t make this declaration before the king? What will happen to my mother?”
Gavin paused before answering. “I don’t know. I cannot say what will become of her.”
Judith was silent for a moment. “Then I am to choose between my husband and my mother? I am to choose whether I give in to the greedy demands of a man I hardly know?”
Gavin’s voice was different from anything she’d ever heard before. It was cold as hardened steel. “No, you do not choose.”
Her head came up sharply.
“We may quarrel often within our own estates, even within our own chambers, and I may concede to you often. You may change the falconer’s lures and I may be angry at you, but now you will not interfere. I don’t care if you were pledged to him before we married, or even if you spent your childhood in bed with him. This is a matter of war now, and I will not argue with you.”
“But my mother—”
“I will try to get her out safely, but I don’t know whether I can.”
“Then let me go to him. Let me try to persuade him.”
Gavin was unyielding. “I cannot allow that. Now I must go and gather my men. We will leave early tomorrow morning.” He turned and left the room.
Judith stood at the window of her bedchamber for a very long time. Her maid came and undressed her, putting her mistress’ arms into a green velvet mink-lined robe. Judith was hardly aware of anyone else’s presence. Her mother, who had sheltered her and protected her all her life, was threatened because of a man Judith hardly knew. She remembered Walter Demari only vaguely as a pleasant young man who talked to her of the tournament rules. She remembered clearly the way Gavin had said she had enticed the man.
Gavin. Gavin. Gavin. Always back to him. All roads led to her husband. He demanded, he commanded what she was to do. She was given no choice. Her mother was to be sacrificed to Gavin’s fierce possessiveness.
But what would she do if she had a choice?
Suddenly her eyes glinted gold. What right did that odious little man have to interfere in her life? He played God when he made others choose between what was not his to own. Fight! her mind cried out. Her mother had taught her pride. Would Helen want her only child to stand meek and quiet before the king and give in to some strutting popinjay merely because the man said she must?
No, she would not! And Helen would not want it so. Judith turned toward the door, not sure of her destination, but an idea, sparked by her new anger gave her courage. “So! Demari’s spies say we don’t sleep together, that our marriage could be annulled,” she murmured as she walked down the deserted hall.
Her convictions were firm until she came to the open doorway of the room Gavin used. He stood before the window, lost in thought, one leg propped on the window seat. It was one thing to make noble boasts of pride, but another to confront a man who every night found reasons for avoiding his wife’s bed. Alice Valence’s icily beautiful face floated before her. Judith bit her tongue, the pain keeping the tears from her eyes. She had made her decision and now she must live with it; tomorrow her husband would go to war. Her bare feet were soundless on the rush-covered floor as she went to stand just a few feet behind him.
Gavin felt, more than saw, her presence. He turned slowly, his breath held. Her hair looked darker in the candlelight, its rich color gleaming against the green velvet. The dark mink emphasized the rich creaminess of her skin. He could not speak. The nearness of her, the quiet room, the candlelight were even more than his dreams. She stared at him then slowly untied the belt of her robe and it glided languidly over her smooth skin, falling to her feet.
His gaze roamed over her as though he were unable to fully comprehend her beauty. Only when he looked back at her eyes did he see she was troubled. Was that expression fear? As if…he would reject her? The possibility struck him as so humorous he nearly laughed aloud.
“Gavin,” she whispered.
She had barely finished the syllable when she was in his arms, being carried to his bed, his lips already fastened to hers.
Judith was afraid of herself as well as of him. He could sense it as he kissed her. He’d waited a long time for her to come to him. He’d stayed away from her for weeks, hoping she could learn to trust him. Yet now, as he held her, he felt no great sense of triumph.
“What is it, sweet? What troubles you?”
His concern for her made her want to cry. How could she tell him of her pain?
When he carried her to the bed and the candlelight danced over her body, her breasts rising with each breath, he forgot all thoughts of anything but the nearness of her. His clothes were hastily thrown aside and he gently eased himself down beside her. He wanted to savor his skin touching hers, inch by slow inch.
When the torture was more than he could bear, he grabbed her to him fiercely. “Judith, I have missed you.”
She lifted her face to his to be kissed.
They had been apart too long to proceed slowly. Their need of each other was urgent. Judith grabbed a handful of flesh and muscle on Gavin’s back. He gasped and laughed throatily. When her hands clawed at him again, he grasped both hands in one of his and held them over her head. She struggled to free herself, but he was too strong. When he entered her, she gasped, then thrust her hips up to meet his. He released her hands and she pulled him closer and closer to her. They made love quickly, almost harshly, before they obtained the release they sought. Then Gavin collapsed on her, their bodies still joined.
They must have dozed, but sometime later Judith was wakened by Gavin’s slow rhythmic movement. Half-sleep, only half-aroused, she began to answer him with lazy sensual movements of her own. Minute by minute, her mind became more deeply lost to the feelings of her body. She didn’t know what she wanted, but she was not content with her position. She was not aware of Gavin’s consternation as she pushed him to the side, her hips never leaving his. Once he was on his back, she was astride him.
Gavin lost no time in wonder. His hands slid up her stomach to her breasts. Judith’s head arched back and her throat, so smooth and white in the darkness, further inflamed him. He clutched at her hips, both of them lost to their rising passion. They exploded together in a flash of blue and white stars.
Judith collapsed above Gavin and he held her close to him, her hair wrapping itself around their sweat soaked bodies, encasing them in a silk cocoon. Neither one mentioned what ran through their minds: Tomorrow Gavin would leave to do battle.
Chapter Thirteen
THE CHATWORTH MANOR WAS A TWO-STORY BRICK HOUSE with carved stone windows set with imported glass. It was long and narrow, and on either end was a stained-glass bay window. Behind the house was a lovely walled courtyard. Stretching for two acres before the house was lush lawn, at the end of which was the earl’s private hunting forest.
Three people were emerging from these woods, walking across the lawn toward the manor. Jocelin Laing, his lute slung across his shoulder had an arm around two kitchen maids, Gladys and Blanche. Jocelin’s hot, dark eyes were made even smokier by the afternoon he’d spent satisfying the greedy women. But Jocelin did not think of them as greedy. To him, all women were jewels, each one to be enjoyed for its own special brilliance. There was no jealousy or possessiveness in him.
Unfortunately, that was not the case with the women. At the moment, both were dreading leaving Jocelin.
“You were brought here for her?” Gladys demanded.
Jocelin turned his head and looked at her until she looked away and blushed. Blanche was not so easily awed. “It’s a wonder Lord Edmund allowed you to come. He keeps Lady Alice like a prisoner. He doesn’t even allow her to go riding unless he is with her.”
“And Lord Edmund does not care for a horse hitting his soft backside,” Gladys chimed in.
Jocelin looked puzzled. “I thought this was a love match—a poor woman marrying an earl.”
“Love! Bah!” Blanche laughed. “That woman loves no one but herself. She thought Lord Edmund was a simpleton she could use as sh
e wished, but he is far from simple. We know—don’t we, Gladys—since we’ve lived here for years?”
“Oh yes,” Gladys agreed. “She thought she could run the castle. I know her kind. But Lord Edmund would rather burn the place to the ground than give her free rein.”
Jocelin frowned. “Then why did he marry her? He could have had his choice of women. Lady Alice had no lands to offer.”
“She is beautiful,” Blanche answered shrugging. “He loves beautiful women.”
Jocelin smiled. “I am beginning to like this man. I agree with him most heartily.” He gave Blanche and Gladys lascivious looks which made their cheeks flush and their eyes lower.
“Jocelin,” Blanche continued, “he’s not like you.”
“No, he’s not,” Gladys said as she ran her hand along Jocelin’s thigh.
Blanche gave her a strong look of reprimand. “Lord Edmund likes only her beauty. He cares nothing for the woman herself.”
“Such as poor Constance,” Gladys added.
“Constance?” Jocelin asked. “I don’t know her.”
Blanche laughed. “Look at him, Gladys. He has two women with him now—yet he worries that he doesn’t know a third.”
“Or is it that he worries whenever there is any woman he doesn’t know?” Gladys asked.
Jocelin put his hand to his forehead in mock despair. “I am found out! I am undone!”
“That you are,” Blanche laughed as she began to kiss his neck. “Tell me, sweet, are you ever faithful to any woman?”
He began to nibble her ear. “I am faithful to all women…for a time.”
They arrived at the manor house, giggling.
“Where have you been?” Alice hissed at him as soon as he entered the great hall.
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