She paused a moment. “I tell you this to show you that I understand the way he has a hold on you. So did my husband. I know the power Gavin has over you, for my own marriage was the same. I can’t say it was love, and I can’t say yours is.”
They sat quietly for a moment, both staring at the glowing charcoal.
“And now I rescue my husband as you rescued yours,” Judith said. “Even though yours lived to beat you again, and mine will return to another woman.”
“Yes,” Helen said sadly.
“Did having a child matter?”
Helen considered. “Perhaps if the first ones had lived, but there were three dead, all boys. Then when you came, and you were a girl….” She didn’t finish the sentence.
“Do you think it would have mattered had the first one lived and been a son?” Judith persisted.
“I don’t know. I don’t believe he beat his first wife, who gave him sons. But he was younger then.” She stopped abruptly. “Judith! Are you with child?”
“Yes. Two months gone.”
John jumped to his feet in a clatter of armor and steel sword against stone. “You have ridden all this way and you are with child!” he demanded. He had been so quiet the two women had forgotten his presence. He put his hand to his forehead. “Hanging will be too good for me. Lord Gavin will torture me, as well I deserve when he hears of this.”
Judith was on her feet instantly, gold eyes blazing “And who will tell him? You are sworn to secrecy!”
“How do you plan to keep this a secret?” he asked with heavy sarcasm.
“When it must be known, I plan to be far away from this place.” Her eyes softened. “You wouldn’t tell, would you, John?”
His expression didn’t change. “Don’t try such cajolery on me. Save it for that fish of a man, Walter Demari.”
Helen’s laugh interrupted them. It was good to hear her laugh, a sound too seldom heard in her unhappy life. “It does me good to see you like this, my daughter. I was afraid marriage might tame you and break your spirit.”
Judith wasn’t listening. John had heard too much. She had said too many intimate things in his hearing; now her cheeks were beginning to stain red.
“No,” John said, with a sigh. “It would take more than a mere man to tame this one. Don’t plead more, child. I will say nothing of what I have heard unless you ask me to.”
“Not even to Gavin?”
He gave her a worried look. “I haven’t seen him yet. I would give a great deal to know where he is being held, if he is well.”
“Judith,” Helen said, bringing their attention back to her. “You have yet to tell me why you are here. Did Walter Demari send for you?”
John sat down heavily in the chair. “We are here because the Lady Judith said we must come. She does not listen to reason.”
“There was no other way,” Judith said as she too sat down again. “What have they told you?” she asked her mother.
“Nothing. I was…brought here after Robert’s death. I have spoken to no one for a week. Even the maid who empties the chamber pot doesn’t speak to me.”
“Then you don’t know where Gavin is kept?”
“No, I gathered from your words only just now that he too was held. What does Lord Demari hope to gain?”
“Me,” Judith said simply, then lowered her eyes before briefly explaining Walter’s plan of annulment.
“But there can be no annulment if you carry Gavin’s child.”
“Yes,” Judith said as she looked across her mother to John. “That is one reason it must be kept secret.”
“Judith, what will you do? How do you expect to save yourself, Gavin, Joan and your husband’s man from this place? You are no foil for stone walls.”
John grunted in agreement.
“I don’t know,” Judith answered exasperatedly. “I could see no alternative. At least now I have a chance of getting you out. But first I must find Gavin. Only then—”
“Did you bring Joan?” Helen interrupted.
“Yes,” Judith said, knowing her mother had some idea.
“Tell Joan to find Gavin. If there is a man to find, she can do it. She is little more than a bitch in heat.”
Judith nodded.
“And now, what of Walter Demari?” Helen continued.
“I have seen him only a few times.”
“Is he to be trusted?”
“No!” John said. “Neither he nor that henchman of his can be trusted.”
Judith ignored him. “Demari thinks I am beautiful, and I plan to be beautiful as long as it takes to find Gavin and make an escape.”
Helen looked down at her daughter, so lovely in the glow of the coals. “You know so little of men,” she observed. “Men are not like account books, where you add the figures and they give you a manageable sum. They are all different…and much more powerful than you or I.”
Suddenly John rose and looked toward the door. “They return.”
“Judith, listen to me,” Helen said quickly, “Ask Joan how to deal with Walter. She knows a great deal about men. Promise me you will follow her advice, and don’t let your own thoughts sway you.”
“I—”
“Promise me!” Helen demanded, her hands holding her daughter’s head.
“I will do my best. It is all I can promise.”
“Then that must do.”
The door burst open and no more words were spoken. Joan and one of the castle maids came to fetch Judith so that she might prepare for supper with his lordship. She hastily bid her mother good-bye, then followed the women, John close behind them.
The fourth floor contained the ladies’ solar, a large, airy room, freshly cleaned with new rushes on the floor, new whitewash on the stones, almost as if a guest had been expected. Judith was left alone with her maid, John outside, guarding the door. At least Walter trusted her enough not to assign a spy to her. Joan brought a basin of heated water to her mistress.
As Judith washed her face and hands, she looked at Joan. “Do you know where Lord Gavin is kept?”
“No, my lady,” Joan said suspiciously. She was not used to being asked questions by her mistress.
“Could you find out where he is?”
Joan smiled. “I am sure I could. This is a place full of gossipmongers.”
“Will you need silver to get this information?”
Joan was shocked. “No, my lady. I will but ask the men.”
“And they will tell you just because you asked?”
Joan was gaining confidence. Her lovely mistress knew little beyond running estates and keeping accounts. “It matters much how a man is asked.”
Judith wore a dress of silver tissue. The skirt parted in front to reveal a wide expanse of deep green satin. The sleeves were large and bell-shaped, draping gracefully from wrist to halfway down the skirt. The sleeves were lined with more green satin. Her hair was covered with a matching French hood embroidered with silver fleurs-de-lis.
Judith sat down on a stool while Joan arranged the hood. “What if a woman wanted to ask something of Lord Walter?”
“Him!” Joan said heatedly. “I would not trust him, though that Sir Arthur who dogs him is not ill-favored.”
Judith whirled to face her maid. “How can you say that? Arthur has such hard eyes. Anyone can see he is a greedy man.”
“Lord Walter is not the same?” Joan pushed her mistress’s head back around. She was feeling rather superior at the moment. “He is just as greedy, treacherous, brutal, and selfish. He is all of those and more.”
“Then why—?”
“Because he is always the same. A woman would know what to expect from him, and that would be whatever suited his needs best. You could deal with that.”
“Then Lord Walter is not the same?”
“No, my lady. Lord Walter is a child, yet a man. He changes with the wind. He will want a thing—then, when he has it, he won’t want it anymore.”
“And this would pertain to women also?�
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Joan dropped to her knees before her mistress. “You must hear me and listen well. I know men as I know nothing else in this world. Lord Walter burns for you now. He is mad with desire, and as long as he keeps that rage inside him, you will be safe.”
“Safe? I don’t understand.”
“He has killed your father and taken your mother and your husband as prisoners only because of this passion of his. What do you think would become of all of you were this fire to be doused?”
Judith still didn’t understand. When she and Gavin made love, no fires were quenched for longer than a few moments. In truth, the more time she spent in his bed, the more she wanted him.
Joan began to talk with exaggerated patience. “All men are not as Lord Gavin,” she said, reading Judith’s mind. “If you were to give yourself to Lord Walter, you would have no more hold over him. To men such as him, the game is everything.”
Judith was beginning to understand. “How can I keep him from me?” She was fully prepared to give herself to a hundred men if it would save the lives of those she cared for.
“He will not force you. He must believe that he has wooed you and won. You may ask a lot of him and he will give it gladly, but you must be clever about it. He will be jealous. Do not hint that you care for Lord Gavin. Let him think you despise the man. Hold the carrot before his nose, but don’t allow him to nibble.”
Joan rose from her knees and gave a final critical look to her mistress’s gown.
“And what of Sir Arthur?” Judith asked.
“Lord Walter will rule him—and if worse comes to worst, he can be bought.”
Judith rose and stared at her maid. “Do you think I will ever learn so much about men?”
“Only when I learn to read,” Joan said, then laughed at the impossibility of such a statement. “Why do you need to know of many men when you have Lord Gavin? He is worth all my men together.”
As they left the chamber to descend the stairs to the great hall, Judith thought, Do I have Gavin? Do I want him?
Chapter Sixteen
“MY LADY,” WALTER SAID AS HE TOOK JUDITH’S HAND and kissed it. She kept her eyes lowered, as if in shyness. “It has been a long time since I saw you last, and you seem to have grown more lovely. Come and sit at the high table with me. We have prepared a late supper for you.”
He led her to the long table set on a platform. The tablecloth was old and spotted, and the dishes were of battered pewter. When they were seated, he turned to her. “Your chamber is comfortable?”
“Yes,” she answered quietly.
He smiled, puffing his chest out a little. “Come, my lady, you need not fear me.”
Fear you! she thought furiously, her eyes meeting his. Then she recovered herself. “It is not fear I feel, but wonder. I am unused to the company of men, and those I have known…they have not been kind to me.”
He took her hand in his. “I would amend that if I could. I know a lot about you, though you know little of me. Did you know I was a friend of your brothers?”
“No,” she said in astonishment, “I didn’t. Was it then my father pledged me in marriage to you?” she asked in wide-eyed innocence.
“Yes-no-” Walter stuttered.
“Ah, I understand, my lord. It was after my dear brothers’ untimely death.”
“Yes! It was then,” Walter grinned.
“My poor brothers had so few friends. It was good they had you for a while. And my father! I would not speak ill of the man, but he was forever misplacing things. Perhaps he misplaced the betrothal agreement between us.”
“There was no—” Walter began, then took a drink of wine to stop his words. He couldn’t admit there had been no such document.
Judith put a tremulous hand on his forearm. “I have said something wrong? You will beat me?”
He quickly turned back to her and saw there were tears in her eyes. “Sweet Judith,” he said as he kissed her hand passionately. “What is wrong with the world that a lovely innocent such as you is so terrified of men?”
Ostentatiously, Judith wiped a tear from her eye. “Forgive me. I have known so few and…” She lowered her eyes.
“Come, give me a smile. Ask some task or gift from me, and I will give it.”
Judith looked up immediately. “I would like to have better quarters for my mother,” she said firmly. “Perhaps on the floor with me.”
“My lord!” Sir Arthur interrupted from Judith’s other side. He had been listening to every word of their conversation. “There is too much freedom on the fourth floor.”
Walter frowned. He wanted very much to please his sweet, shy captive, and being reprimanded before her by his man was not a means to that end.
Instantly, Arthur saw his mistake. “I meant, my lord, only that she should have a trustworthy guard near her, for her own sake.” He looked at Judith. “Tell me, my lady, if you had only one man to guard you, whom would you choose?”
“Why, John Bassett,” she said quickly. She could have bitten her tongue as soon as the words were out.
Arthur gave her a smug look before returning his gaze to Walter. “There. From the lady’s own mouth She has chosen the guard for Lady Helen.”
And leave me without help should I try to escape, Judith thought. Sir Arthur looked at her as if he could read her thoughts.
“An excellent idea!” Walter said. “That pleases you, my lady?”
She could think of no reason to give for keeping John to herself, and perhaps his absence would give her more freedom. “That would please me greatly, my lord,” she said sweetly. “I know John will care for my mother well.”
“And now we may turn to more pleasant matters What do you say we ride out and hunt tomorrow?”
“Hunt, my lord? I…”
“Yes? You may speak freely to me.”
“It is a silly wish.”
“Come, tell me,” Walter smiled tolerantly.
“I have only recently left my home, and I was always confined to one part of the estates. I have never seen one of these older castles. You will laugh at me!”
“No, I will not,” Walter laughed.
“I’d like to see all of it; the mews, the stables, even the buttery.”
“Then I shall take you on a full tour tomorrow,” he smiled. “It’s a simple request, and I would do anything to give you pleasure, my lady.” His eyes burned into hers and Judith lowered her lashes, mostly to keep him from seeing the anger that glinted in hers.
“My lord,” she said softly, “I find I am very tired. May I be excused?”
“Of course. Your wish is my command.” He stood and held her hand as she rose from her chair.
John stood close behind her, his arms folded across his chest. “I would like to speak to my man for a moment,” she said, going to him before Walter could answer. “Sir Arthur has made you a guard to my mother,” she said without preamble.
“I will not. Lord Gavin—”
“Hush!” she said as she put her hand on his arm. “I don’t wish to be heard. What reason would you give that you cannot leave my side? That silly man thinks I am his already.”
“He makes advances to you?”
“No, not yet, but he will. You must stay with my mother. I don’t believe Sir Arthur will let her out of that damp place if you refuse. She won’t be able to stand that much longer.”
“You think too much of your mother and too little of yourself.”
“No, you are wrong. I am safe, but she could get a bone chill. If I were in the damp, I would demand equal treatment.”
“You lie,” John said flatly. “You could be safe at home now if you were not so stubborn.”
“Do you lecture me now?” Judith asked, exasperated.
“It won’t do any good. I will go to Lady Helen only if you promise you will do nothing that is foolish.”
“Of course. I will even swear it if you wish.”
“You are too glib, but there is no time to argue. They come. I will expect m
essages often. Perhaps it will keep my mind from the tortures Lord Gavin will apply to me.”
When Judith and her maid were alone, Joan burst out laughing. “I have never seen such mummery to equal yours tonight!” she laughed. “You would do well in London. Where did you learn the trick of touching your nail to your eye to produce tears?”
Judith drew in her breath sharply. Joan’s words brought back a vivid picture of Alice in Gavin’s arms. “I learned the trick from a woman who lives by false words,” she said grimly.
“Whoever she was, she must have been the best. I was half-convinced by you myself. I hope you got what you wanted.”
“You were sure I wanted something?”
“Why else would a woman show tears to a man?”
Judith thought of Alice again. “Why else?” she muttered.
“And did you get what you wanted?” Joan persisted.
“Mostly. But that Arthur tricked me. John has been sent to guard my mother. Guard! Bah! How can two prisoners, locked away, guard each other? My man-at-arms has changed to a lady’s maid, put under lock and key, and I am again alone with one more person to try to take from this place.”
Joan undid the lacings at Judith’s side. “I am sure it was to his best interests to take John from you.”
“You are right. But Lord Walter is a fool. The man’s tongue runs away with him. I must be more careful that I talk to him only away from Sir Arthur.”
“That, my lady, may be the most difficult of all tasks.” Joan pulled aside the down-filled covers for her mistress.
“What are you going to do, Joan?” Judith asked as she watched her maid run a comb through her brown hair.
“I will find Lord Gavin,” she smiled. Maid and mistress were taking on a more equal role. “I will see you tomorrow, and I’ll have news of him then.”
Judith hardly heard the door close behind her maid. She thought she was too worried to sleep, but it was not so. She fell asleep almost instantly.
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