Equinox (Augarten Book 1)

by Charlie Godwyne

  Florian gave an awkward hum and slid across my chest. I caught him before he could fall into my lap. He curled against my chest and peered up at me shyly, his cheeks flushed. I had to remind myself to breathe.

  Florian smiled bashfully. "Hey."

  I held him close and leaned in. "Hey."

  He gave a breathy laugh. "Gabriel, you're too big to be an Austrian. Are you sure some Vikings didn't leave you here?"

  I chuckled. "I'm way too skinny for that crowd."

  He nuzzled against my chest. "Guess so."

  "Florian, can I kiss you?"

  We locked eyes. He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me, those soft lips commanding me to make love to him. His inhalations seemed to pull mine from me, the scraping of his facial hair skittering electricity across my skin. But what hurt deeper than any physical ache was the gentle care with which he handled me, like I meant something to him. His breath tasted of the sweet juice of the Sturm.

  Florian broke the kiss and pressed his forehead to mine, eyes closed. "Are you sure you're serious? I don't normally do flings, Gabriel."

  "Then don't fling me."

  "But I feel like I'm using you."

  "Then don't use me."

  He pulled back a bit, pain in his eyes. "Gabriel, we shouldn't do this. I'm so damaged, I—"

  "You are? I'll take your broken pieces. I don't have much in terms of memories to offer, if you'll recall."

  Florian huffed. "I don't want to hurt you."

  "Then don't hurt me." Then I corrected. "And if you do, come to me so we can talk it out."

  His gaze raked across my chest, making my heart flutter. At my entreaty, he once again met my eyes. I saw a doorway straining to be opened, as if once the lock broke, Florian would spread his wings, beat the air and take flight. I wanted him to wrap me in those wings. I wanted to see what would happen if he let the levee break.

  Florian's warm breaths washed over me, and I noticed something else as well. The faint light he emitted was visible now, against the growing darkness of Augarten. He must have been wearing his amulet, because like the other times in which that light had been visible, it felt suppressed, condensed or trapped somehow, to a point hanging close to his heart, tucked under his shirt.

  "But, Gabriel…I'm a mess. And I can't save you—"

  "I don't need you to save me," I said with full sincerity.

  His eyes searched mine. "I want to believe you."

  I smiled. "I want you to kiss me."

  He laughed, then pulled me in again.

  Augarten was pitch dark by the time we separated. Florian shivered from the cold. We picked our way over the gravel back toward the central compound, me leading him by the hand. I watched Florian's light trail off him like a faint smoke. I checked the sky again, but this wasn't my dream vision. No whispering trees, no red towers. Somehow, I could see his magic, without the requisite harvest moon glow or talking horses.

  The security lights clicked on at our movement closer to the buildings. We wound through the labyrinthine hallways and to my small pride and joy of an apartment. Really just a room, but so much more than the storage closet. I flipped to a different key and got us inside.

  As soon as I shut the door behind us, Florian pushed me against the wall and pulled my chin down, pressing his lips to mine. His hands roved all over my chest, driving me crazy.

  I tried to unbutton his shirt, but I couldn't focus enough to convince my fingers of the task. "Help me."

  Florian huffed a laugh and unbuttoned his shirt in a hurry. I shucked off my thin sweater and the V-neck black t-shirt underneath. He pulled off his flowy linen button-up, revealing a silver chain with a pale blue teardrop amulet hanging from his neck. Florian stood on his toes and pressed against my chest, kissing me deeply, his tongue diving in my mouth. He whimpered in pleasure and I hummed in response.

  Something burned my fingertips and I gasped in pain.

  Florian stopped. "What is it?"

  He sat back. My hand gripped his left forearm, touching some kind of dark grey tattoo that looked like a literary quote. When I pulled my hand back, a shining yellow substance leaked from my fingertips to his tattoo, like tacky glue or melted cheese.

  Florian shrieked in surprise. In one swift movement, he wiped the yellow substance from his arm and scooped it straight into the palm of my hand, then curled my fingers over it and squeezed my hand into a fist, hard. After a moment, he let go. When I opened my hand, the yellow substance was gone.

  Florian panted. "Why…"

  "What was that?"

  Florian gasped and checked me over. "Gabriel, are you alright?"

  "I think so?"

  Florian heaved a giant breath. "That looked like ether. I'll have to ask Maria about it. She'll know. For now, don't touch my tattoo or my necklace. Oh no." He reached out and touched my chest right above my solar plexus. "I just touched you with the amulet—does it hurt? Did you not touch it last time?"

  I didn't remember touching it last time. It actually did hurt—my chest felt tight—but I didn't want to scare him further. "I'm okay. Why would Maria know about this?"

  Florian hesitated. "Keep this a secret between us, but Maria is a magic user as well, just in a different tradition. She frequently works with auras and essences of plants to help with the gardening."

  Oh. "But I can still touch you, right?"

  He nodded slowly. "I think so." Then he gestured to his amulet and tattoo. "This isn't my magic. It's someone else's, meant to protect me."

  "Well, said magic should read my intentions better."

  He cast worried eyes over me. "Should we stop?"

  "Absolutely not."

  That finally got a laugh out of him. Florian lifted the chain from around his neck and carefully wound it around his left wrist, clasping the amulet in his palm. "Okay. Left arm is off limits; right arm is fine. Does that work?" He grabbed his shirt and with our combined efforts managed to wrap his arm with it and tie it down.

  "That works." I picked up his right hand and kissed the palm.

  Florian closed his eyes. "You should have found me sooner, Gabriel."

  "I should have."

  He pulled me to him.

  We stumbled into my room kissing, a tangle of limbs, and tumbled onto the bed. I bent over Florian, covering him with my longer body, not like he needed protecting, but as if he were something precious to me, because he was.

  Florian arched up against me. "Clothes off. Now."

  I stripped everything off as fast as I could while Florian wriggled out of his pants. I tossed a towel on the bed, just in case we made a mess, since I didn't have a spare change of sheets. I stood there buck naked as Florian shucked the last of his clothes off, leaving only his wallet on the bed. I wasn't sure why that last detail mattered but whatever.

  He smiled, tender, and extended his hand. "Come here."

  I took it and crawled onto the bed, hovering over him on hands and knees. Florian reached up, then in a whoosh, flipped me with my back flat on the bed and straddled my waist. My heart was still hammering from the sudden change in positions when he kissed me, using his weight to press my shoulders into the bed with his hands. He kissed me breathless, until desire thrilled me and my cock wept with need.

  He pulled back and spoke in a husky voice, eyes wild with lust. "Can I top you?"

  Struck silent, I scrambled for words. "Y-yes…"

  He hesitated, just a moment. "I'll go slow, in case this is your first time."

  Once the words processed, I nodded. "I don't know how long it's been."

  He sat back on his knees and leaned over to snag his wallet. "Full honesty, Gabriel. Words like 'wait, slow down, stop.' I'll listen to them all, so speak up if something feels wrong. Okay?"

  "Got it."

  "Hm. How about we do the traffic lights too? Red is stop, green is go, yellow is check in?"

  "Sounds good."

  He unfolded his wallet and the mystery was solved: he pulled out a condom, a small packet
of lube, and another small packet that held a thin silicon glove.

  I stared in amazement. "You came prepared."

  Florian slid the glove on with a smirk, popping it on his wrist. "There's this really handsome guy I've been seeing lately. He seems as eager as I am, so I thought I'd have these on me, just in case."

  I grinned.

  His gaze raked over me. "Now, pleasure yourself."

  I palmed my dick, stroking slowly as Florian jerked himself to full hardness and then slid on the condom. I fondled my balls and teased my tip a bit while he lubed up, watching me with open hunger. Just the lead up was so stimulating I worried I would come before we even got started, but he hadn't told me to stop, so I kept going.

  Florian finished lubing up and beckoned me to him. I pushed up, and he hooked my chin and kissed me. "You ready?"

  "You bet," I breathed.

  Florian smirked, love in his eyes. "Flip over, on your knees."

  I turned around, propped on my hands, and he nudged me down to rest on my forearms. "Let me take care of you."

  A shiver ran through me. I heard him fumbling with a packet, and then he circled my hole with warm lube, massaging me, then a gloved finger pressed inside, pushing slowly.

  "Breathe, Gabriel. Stroke yourself and try to relax."

  I'd gone a bit soft from the sting of his insertion, but I stroked myself back to life and barely even noticed when he inserted a second finger and started scissoring me. He massaged my cheeks with his other hand, a strong caress that distracted me from the invasion. "Gods, Gabriel. You're gorgeous."

  "I can't hold out, hurry."

  He chuckled. "Okay, baby, here I come."

  He pressed the head of his dick inside. His crown felt enormous, but once he got it past the ring of muscle, his well-lubed cock slid home, and Florian collapsed against my back, shuddering.

  "Holy shit, you're so tight. Oh gods."

  "Don't move," I squeaked.

  I pushed up to my hands and supported both our weights. Florian released my hips and hugged my waist and torso with one arm, panting against me. All at once, the moment felt so intimate, like we were making love instead of just fucking. I wasn't the type to want a lay with no strings attached, but I also was not eager to blurt out my feelings when we'd only known each other for a short time. Furthermore, with amnesia, my blank slate did not lend credence to my words.

  Florian kissed the side of my neck. "Can I move now?"

  Nodding, a shiver raced down my spine as the warmth along my back disappeared, leaving me yearning. But in the next moment, Florian slid out and pushed back in, and warmth flooded me once more. I moaned as he worked up to a rhythm until his balls slapped against me with a rich, smacking sound.

  Florian groaned and mumbled a litany of praise. "Heavens, Gabriel, oh gods, fuck…"

  Pleasure coiled in my abdomen, and I abandoned stroking myself altogether or I was going to come at any second. Florian gripped my hips hard, his thumbs spreading my cheeks. He drove into me until I couldn't even put two words together.

  "Come for me, Gabriel. I want to feel you coming wrapped around my cock."

  I swore under my breath and jerked myself to a quick finish. I cried out, my orgasm leaping to the fore and taking me by surprise. I flew over the edge, quaking and clamping down hard around the cock impaling me. Florian gasped and pounded hard four more times before he froze and came, pulsing deep inside me.

  He pulled out carefully and disposed of the condom while I collapsed onto the bed, pushing the soiled towel off onto the floor. I rolled over to face him when he flopped down and curled against me. I wrapped my arms around him, cuddling him close, looping a leg over his as if he might try to leave.

  Florian met my eyes, his gaze a bit insecure, as if he couldn't believe his own words. "Fuck, Gabriel, that felt so good."

  Love bloomed in my chest. "Yeah."

  "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

  "No, I would have said so. That was great."

  He searched me. "Really?"

  I pecked his lips. "Yes. We should do it again. As often as possible."

  A smirk spread across his lips and then morphed into pure joy. "You've got yourself a deal. We'll see if you feel the same way in the morning."

  I nuzzled against the pillow, finding my words and putting them together. "We're boyfriends, right?" I didn't want to be doing this with anyone but a boyfriend.

  Florian nodded. "Definitely. And we're exclusive, too, Gabriel. Right?"

  I mirrored his nod.

  He exhaled. "Good. I don't fuck around with this. We're in a relationship now, and if your feelings change, you let me know. Okay?"

  I smiled. "Okay."

  I rolled onto my back, and Florian lay his head against my chest, tucked into my side. I pulled my blanket over us, and switched off the bedside lamp.

  "Goodnight, my boyfriend Florian."

  He chuckled and kissed my shoulder. "Night, babe. Sleep well."

  Chapter Fifteen

  In the dim light of predawn, I felt Florian leave the bed. He stumbled around the room, slipping into his clothes. I cracked my eyes open to see what he was doing. He dressed, found his wallet, and made it to the bedroom door, after which was the small hallway that held a bathroom and a kitchenette farther down, then the front door.

  I sat up. "Let me walk you home."

  Florian whipped around, his eyes wide. "I didn't know you were awake."

  I scrubbed my eyes. "Just woke up. Is it time for work already?"

  He rubbed the back of his neck. "Not yet, but Gabriel, there's something wrong with your room. I feel sick in here."

  That woke me up. I scanned the tiny room, so perfect in my eyes compared to the storage closet. "Is there something you're allergic to?" I would chuck it out immediately.

  Florian shook his head, hugging himself. "No, it's more like…"

  Florian's face went blank, smoothed over as stone. Any words I had planned to say died in my mouth.

  "Gabriel, has that exorcist been in here?"

  I blinked. "He helped me move in. Why?"

  Florian let out an aggravated growl. "I'm leaving. Right now."

  He charged out of my bedroom and I scrambled after him. Still in my pajamas, I kicked into my shoes as he flung the front door open. Florian stepped through the doorway, but then lurched as if he'd been kicked.

  I grabbed his shoulder. "Are you all right?"

  Florian bent over, hands braced on his knees. He breathed deeply without answering. A long moment passed, then he straightened and tucked the amulet necklace back under his shirt. "I can't come here again."

  That statement punched me in the gut. "I'm sorry. I didn't know—"

  "You can't trust him," Florian said, plain as day.

  I stared at him, dumbfounded. On the tip of my tongue were the words that Solomon had stayed up all night praying with Florian's mother on the night of the Berlin terrorist attacks. But at the same time, I did not know what Solomon had done to my room, nor why. I had to know his reasons first.

  "I'll talk to him and get him to undo whatever he has done."

  Florian met my eyes, then finally deflated. "Okay. I'm sorry for overreacting."

  "Let me walk you home."

  Florian didn't resist. I slung my jacket over his shoulders in the cold morning. Augarten lingered in the deep blue of early dawn, the sky just barely managing to light up the trees. It was chilly enough I was surprised I could not see my own breath, yet glad for it since I was only in yesterday's sweater. We left the garden and turned on Taborstraße, heading toward the canal. A priest up ahead unlocked a side door of the cathedral, then disappeared inside.

  When we got to the open door, Florian stopped. "Sorry. I need to go in there. I'll just be a minute. Do you want to wait?"

  I nodded. "I'll wait."

  Inside was a shallow altar: a two-tier wooden setup for kneeling and propping one's elbows. There was only room enough to take one step inside, then kneel. Presumably, a parish
ioner would first cross themselves with the holy water in a marble basin off to the side, but Florian did not do this. Behind the glass was a large crucifix with the Son looking down in sorrow, but Florian did not raise his head at any moment during the prayer. When he stood again, he gave a polite bow before turning around to leave, having never crossed himself.

  He fell into step beside me. "Thanks. I feel better."

  "How can you pray to your Welsh gods in there? Are you actually Catholic?"

  Florian shoved his hands in his pockets and heaved a tremendous sigh. "No. Unfortunately, I had to revoke my baptism when I took over the coffeeshop. I couldn't afford the mandatory ten percent tithing on the business, once my tax status switched over from being a student to an entrepreneur. If you can't afford the tithe, you have to revoke your christening."

  "But you still pray?"

  "I do, but I pray to an angel. That is the only altar in town where I can have access to him without the big man upstairs taking offense."

  That took a moment to process. "Offense that you are praying to an angel, exclusive of the Holy Trinity? How do the priests know?"

  "It's not so much that the priests told me this themselves, but rather, the angel I pray to advised me to only go there."

  "I see."

  He took a long moment to speak again. "I don't see how you can meditate in that apartment. You really should talk to your friend about it. Maybe he did something with only you in mind, not taking into consideration that you might have visitors."

  "I'm sure it was unintentional. He's a priest, after all. And I have amnesia—it wouldn't occur to him that I might have a lover stay the night. Celibacy vows, and all that."

  "I can't imagine," he said under his breath.

  I bumped shoulders with him. "After last night, I can't imagine it, either."

  He chuckled.

  We made it to the coffee shop. I lingered on the sidewalk as Florian unlocked the door and turned to me.

  He glanced down the street. "I want to kiss you, but this is my place of business, and it's the second district. If I invite you inside…I won't be able to hold back, and then I'll be late opening the shop."