Chapter and Verse

by Jo Willow

  I sat down next to him and sighed. One thing at a time.

  “Babe, did you just call her, mom?”

  He sighed and leaned back on his hands. Then he swung his feet. Where was my CEO? Where was my Power Ranger? Where the hell was my control freak?

  “She told me to.”

  “Uh-huh. How did my dad react?”

  “I asked for your hand and he told me I could have it as long as I took the rest of you with it.”

  He laughed.

  “I can see where you get your wicked sense of humor Dor’. Brian’s a pistol. They’re both thrilled about this.”

  “Good, good.”

  I remained calm and he remained happy. I tossed the next one out there to see how he would react.

  “So ‘Mom’ is going to be helping Mel’ and talking to your mother then?”

  “Absolutely. I think she was a little let down that we’re not having a big to-do, but as long as she’s in on the planning, I think she’ll be fine. I told her we needed to keep the guest list to under a hundred. That sounds right, don’t you think?”

  “I’m still not sure where we’ll put a hundred people, but that’s fine. They’ll figure it out. There is something that worries me a little.”

  He sat up straight and put his arm around me.

  “Worries you? Babe just tell me what it is and I’ll take care of it.”

  “I don’t see how you can. One more question. Did you tell my folks that we were having a baby?”

  “Nope. You told me not to so I didn’t. I keep my promises.”

  “So now we only have to worry about Mel’ and your parents not telling them...right?”

  His body went rigid next to mine. His eyes grew huge as he realized the enormity of the problem.

  “Dorothy, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking past getting them on board for the wedding. I’ll call my folks and tell them to keep quiet. Will Mel’ cooperate?”

  I was at my wits end. The last twenty-four hours had started with identification of problem areas, and it was ending with actual problems. Non-existent problems to boot. The source of the problems was watching me pace back and forth across the bedroom floor. When did I start pacing? I didn’t even remember standing up.

  I felt like I was suffocating under the weight of it all and I needed to get some air. Air that Deacon wasn’t breathing.

  I picked up my cell phone off the bed and practically ran out the door, Deacon hot on my heels. I grabbed my purse from the end table and started for the elevator.

  “Dor’? Where are you going?”

  “I need some time alone Deke. I need to to breathe and think. I can’t do those things here.”

  I saw panic in his eyes, but I couldn’t think about that. Things were moving at a speed I couldn’t keep up with and damage control was out of my realm of expertise.

  The elevator dinged and I stepped inside. He stood in front of the open door, his fists clenched at his side. Here we were, back to square one. He was angry, I could see it and instead of confronting it, I was getting away from it.

  “Are you coming back tonight?”

  “I don’t know Deacon, I’ll call you later.”

  The door closed and I hit the button for the lobby.

  I knew when I saw the lobby doors where I was going. I went to my car to change into a spare set of trainers I kept there for emergency weather conditions. If my car broke down, I’d get nowhere fast in heels. Once my shoes were in place, I draped my purse across my body and walked the three blocks to the park.

  I stretched as best I could, and then I started running. I took it easy at first, reacquainting myself to the feel of the burn; getting my breathing under control for the long haul. My muscles were sore from taking a few days off and they punished me for ignoring them. Once we reached an agreement, I started to fly.

  I knew what he was thinking and I think I might have known how he felt. I kept telling myself that it didn’t change a thing. We were an “us” now. We’d both been alone for almost our entire lives. It was natural to need time to ourselves. Time to think, work, to have something to talk about when we got back together. No two people should be together twenty-four-seven. Right?

  Except his parents were doing it, and for the most part, so were mine. They seemed to enjoy it. To revel in it even. I remember believing I’d wanted that at one time. Did I still? I didn’t know.

  As I circled around and started back, I wondered if Deacon would punish me for leaving. I don’t mean punish as in do something physical, I mean punish me by exiling me from his presence like every other time I did something that he didn’t like. It felt like punishment anyway because of the way he did it. It amazed me that he could stay away from contact with me for weeks at a time. Of course when we finally got back together he always told me how much he’d missed me; how he couldn’t be without me. Then we’d be the happy couple until something else came up and then Wham. There I was again in Siberia wondering what in the hell happened. Even with my limited relationship experience, I knew that it wasn’t healthy. We were starting out in trouble hoping to build a lifetime of happiness around it.

  I’d never felt more stupid in my life.

  I ended up where I started, panting for breath and sweating like a pig stuck under a fence. I stretched to avoid cramps and looked around for a vendor. I bought two bottles of water and drank one too fast. While I struggled to keep it in my overheated body, I collapsed on a bench and unscrewed the lid on the second one. My clothes were drenched in sweat and my ears were ringing from dehydration. I knew better than this, where was my head at?

  I could hear my phone ringing in my purse and I reached inside to find it. When I pulled it out, it was Deacon. I hit “ignore” and sent him to voice mail. Not now. Not yet.

  Then he sent a text.

  “I’m worried about u. U left angry. Plz come home.”

  That was a nice twist, so I answered.

  “Not angry, confused. 2 much to deal with.”

  “We’ll deal together. Come home.”

  I left that one alone and turned my phone off. I slipped it back in my purse and started the trek back home. On the way, I saw a Starbucks and slipped inside. The aroma made my mouth water and my head ache. It was my old buddy, caffeine withdrawal. Like I needed this on top of everything else.

  I was in line and almost to the counter, ready to order my standard Venti vanilla latte, when I hesitated. What if I was pregnant? Of course I probably wasn’t, but what if I was? Damn his ass for putting doubts in my head. All I wanted was a cup of my favorite beverage. Instead I ordered a large decaf iced tea and left sulking.

  It was good to be in my own home. For all of about five minutes. The sound of my door slamming should have concerned me. It didn’t. I sat on my sofa, sipping my iced tea, pretty sure that whoever had slammed the door would find me. She did.

  Melody came stalking in, hands on her hips and stopped in front of me. She threw her hip out in such an amusing way, I almost spewed tea out of my nose. Her attempts at anger were often hilarious and just off the mark.

  I tipped my head in her direction and took another sip.

  “Why the hell aren’t you answering your phone? Deacon is frantic, mom’s trying to get hold of you, and why did you tell Anton I was fixated on his penis?”

  “I believe the term I used was, ‘voodoo penis’.”

  “What? What is the matter with you? You’re not acting right and you smell awful.”

  She dragged out the word, “awful” and took a step back. Fine by me, I kept sucking down my iced tea. My body felt loose and my mind was quiet. I was in no hurry to correct either of those anytime soon.

  “Mel’, leave a list of your demands by the door and I’ll consider them as time permits. Bye now.”

  I don’t know why I thought that might work, it’s never worked before. Instead, she plopped down on the sofa as far from me as she could get and crossed her arms.

  “Why aren’t you talking to Deacon? Are you two f
ighting again?”

  Interesting turn of a phrase.

  “Not that I’m aware of, did he say we were?”

  “No, he said that you left in a strange mood and he was worried about you. He asked if I’d heard from you.”

  She turned to face me and I raised my eyebrows.

  “You know Dorothy, married people don’t behave like that. They talk to their spouse. Reason with them. Outsmart them even. I’m pretty sure that walking out goes against the vows or something.”

  “And I’m pretty sure it doesn’t. Besides, I’m not married yet. Remember? Not married, not preggers, and definitely not in the mood to talk about it. Anything else?”

  “Anton’s penis.”

  “Anton’s voodoo penis. What about it?”

  “He’s worse than a case of herpes. I swear Dor’. He’s plaguing me. Just when I think he might have something better to do and he goes away for awhile, he calls. Or he comes by unannounced. Then he stays for like hours, occupying space and talking in riddles. Is that an Anton thing or a Sloan thing in general?”

  “Pretty sure it’s a Sloan thing, although I hate to group Pierce in with his two crazy brothers. It doesn’t feel right.”

  “No you’re right, it doesn’t. Pierce is a honeybear.”

  “Yes he is.”

  “I should go for Pierce.”

  “No you should not.”

  Her expression was one of shock and insult.

  “Why not? You think I’m not good enough for Pierce?”

  “I think he would bore you to tears Mel’. You’d chew him up, spit him out, and end up with Anton anyway. Stick with Mr. Voodoo.”

  Melody sighed and sunk deeper into the sofa.

  “Have you ever seen his penis?”

  “Whose?”

  She blew out a breath and rolled her eyes at me.

  “Anton’s dumb ass! I know you’ve seen Deacon’s and I’m sure Pierce probably keeps his under lock and key.”

  “I think we’d both be surprised at what Pierce does and doesn’t do with his penis. But if we’re talking about Anton, then no. I have not seen your boyfriend’s penis.”

  “Anton is NOT my boyfriend.”

  “Sorry Mel’, but it sure sounds like it. He calls all the time, comes over for hours unannounced...I dunno. That’s how Deacon and I started...”

  She made a choking sound and stood abruptly. Pacing must run in the family. I watched her go back and forth as she processed what I’d pointed out.

  “Dorothy, I don’t need a Sloan in my life right now.”

  I took another sip of tea and pulled an ice cube into my mouth.

  “Join the club. Yet look at where we are. Two of the wealthiest, most eligible bachelors in the city, and we’re whining because they’re attracted to us. Think anyone would throw us a pity party? Not on your sweet Prada heels Sis’. You should be thankful that mom and dad haven’t caught on to your situation yet.”

  “Why?”

  I crunched my ice and stared at her.

  “It could easily turn into a double wedding. That’s why. Two birds with one stone comes to mind.”

  “Married? Me? No way. I’m too young and Anton is, well, Anton. He’s a mess Dorothy.”

  “Yes he is. But so is Deacon.”

  It must have been the way I said it. She came over and perched on the sofa closer to me and took my hand. That in itself was a rare thing. We weren’t hand-holders, Melody and I. Did we support one another? All the time. Would she kill for me? Probably not, but I’d be willing to bet she knew at least a dozen good burial places and she’d help me hide the shovels when we were done.

  “Are you having second thoughts about getting married? You can tell me you know. I’ll help you work through it and I’ll even dump him for you if you want.”

  There’s the old team spirit.

  “I’m not having second thoughts exactly, it’s more a continuation of the first thoughts.”

  “You still love him don’t you?”

  “Oh yeah. That’s rock solid. He loves me too. That’s not the problem.”

  “Well what is the problem then? He doesn’t stare at your chest all the time like Hamm did. He’s obviously not marrying you for your money, he could buy and sell you six times over. He worries about you the minute you’re out of his sight, and our folks love him. Honestly Dorothy. What’s wrong with you? Anton told me that Deacon has never treated another woman the way he treats you. He said you’ve got him wrapped around your little finger and he’d never let a woman whip him the way you’ve got Deacon whipped. You’ve got the Lone Wolf dreaming about a litter of puppies. What in the world do you want? Do you even know?”

  My sister may be a self-centered pain in the ass sometimes, but there were times when she was right on the money as well. What did I want? Was I so dead set in my ways that I’d push everyone away to avoid compromise on any level? Was I destined to be the dog lady on the block. Would I ever find someone as perfect for me as Deacon? No. Not a, “probably not”, but a resounding, No. This was my one shot at happiness. If I blew this, then I deserved what I got. Was he perfect? No, but I wasn’t either. And if he shut down, it was because I let him. The weeks that we were alone, he didn’t call me. But I didn’t call him either. I should have. I should have picked up the phone and told him how he was making me feel. I should have given him the chance to make it right instead of stewing over it now when our wedding was only a week away. This was as much on me as it was on him.

  A peaceful feeling settled over me as I stared at my sister. Leave it to Mel’ to bring me around by shaking some sense into me. As I studied her I thought, “She deserves Pierce. But I still want her to have Anton.”

  I giggled and she narrowed her eyes.

  “Are you thinking about Anton’s penis?”

  I started laughing so hard I had to hold my sides.

  “No I am not thinking about Anton’s penis. I do think it’s telling though that you associate laughter with it. Have YOU seen Anton’s penis?”

  She began to play with the hem of her blouse and I sat up straighter.

  “Mel’? Have you been messing around with...voodoo?”

  She shot daggers at me and stood, picking up her purse.

  “Check your phone and call that poor man back. I’ll call mom and tell her you’re fine. Get your shit together Dorothy, there’s too much at stake for you to lose it now. I’m bringing your dress by Thursday for the first fitting, so be home.”

  “Will do general. And Mel’?”

  She stopped her progression towards the door and turned to look at me.

  “What?”

  “Please don’t tell anyone Deacon’s wild story about a possible pregnancy. I don’t need anymore stress right now. And thanks for the talk. It helped.”

  “That’s what I’m here for. Give Deke a hug for me. By the way, we’re going with yellow and white tea roses. They’ll look pretty at an outdoor wedding and they’ll smell wonderful.”

  “Nice touch Sis’, thanks.”

  She smiled, nodded, and left.

  Time to buck up and take my lumps. I fished my phone from my purse and turned it on. Thirteen missed calls, ten messages and a handful of texts. I’d just left him a few hours ago, where did he think I went?

  I listened to the messages, each one getting progressively more desperate. This did not sound like a man that was blowing me off. The final message was from my mother. Great. All she said was, “Call Deacon, he’s frantic.” Leave it to Mom to cut to the chase.

  I dialed his number and it he picked up in the middle of the first ring.

  “Baby where are you?”

  “I’m sitting on my sofa, drinking a decaf iced tea. Melody just left.”

  “I called Mel’ and she told me you weren’t with her.”

  “Cool your jets boss man. I wasn’t with her. She dropped in. I went for a run around the park.”

  I could hear him relax and I felt better.

  “Did it help?”
r />   “Like you wouldn’t believe. The run plus Melody giving me a kick in the ass. I’m good now. Wanna come over?”

  “I’ve got a shit ton of food up here, wanna come home?”

  “Do I have to rewrite your book?”

  “That came out of left field. If I say yes, will you be interviewing my ex-girlfriends?”

  “As many as I can get my hands on.”

  “Then no. I love the book. It’s a perfect book. I’m pretty sure it’s the best book that’s ever been written in the history of books.”

  “I agree. What did you do today while I was gone besides harass my family?”

  “I harassed my own. Hey, did you say something to my brother about a, and I quote, ‘voodoo penis’?”

  “Don’t drag me into his sordid sex life with my sister. I don’t even like to think about it.”

  “Wait. Mel’ and Anton are doing the deed?”

  “You didn’t hear that from me.”

  “My lips are sealed. Now come home and cook for me. I’m hungry woman.”

  “On my way stud muffin. Start peeling potatoes.”

  We hung up and I scored myself a point. If Anton and Mel’ were busy working on their own problem, then their focus wasn’t on mine.

  Chapter Sixteen

  You have no idea how fast a week can pass until you’re planning a wedding. We started this thing on a Sunday and planned it for a week from the following Saturday. Follow? In essence, we actually had two weeks minus one day. That might have been plenty of time if we’d gone to Vegas, like Deacon had wanted to. But no. Little Miss, “I want my family to there”, had to have the wedding on a farm in Connecticut. Folks it’s true. You get what you ask for. Or is it, you get what you pay for? Either way, they’re both true.

  It was now the Tuesday before the wedding and I had been stuck, plucked, showered by both family and friends, and I’d tasted enough cake to gain twenty pounds. I’d smelled enough flowers and looked at enough tablecloths and chair drapes, that I couldn’t tell the color butterscotch from buttercup from goldenrod. Between us? In the end, will it matter anyway? Not to me it won’t. We’ll be just as married no matter what color the ribbons on the the table candles are.