Kara: I love you.
Meg: You owe me.
***
A short skirt is perfectly appropriate given the late September weather. A tank top, too. But the way Miles is looking at me makes me feel underdressed and overexposed.
That same current passes through my body, collecting between my legs. It shouldn't be possible for a look to feel so good.
Drew and Kara are here, mid-conversation, but they are barely on my radar. Miles is standing next to them, all his attention on me.
He smiles. "You look nice tonight."
"Thank you."
Drew nods to me. "Do you mind us crashing your girls’ night out?”
“Not at all,” I say.
Drew looks at me carefully. “You don’t have to sugar coat it if you want us to get the fuck out of here. I’m used to hearing far worse from Kendrick.”
"It’s fine. Only a madman would miss the opportunity to watch Jurassic Park on the big screen.” My tank top strap slips down my shoulder. I pull it back up. "We should get tickets. It's almost midnight."
Kara pulls something from her purse. "Already got ’em."
Miles chimes in. "Meg and I can grab seats. You guys get drinks."
"Sure." I step inside the theater and take the right door. The Nuart only has one screen, and it's pretty empty tonight.
Miles steps behind me. He presses his palm flat against my lower back. It's more like he's guiding me than anything else, but my body doesn't get the whole it's not a big deal message.
A rush of heat spreads from my back to my stomach to my thighs. Suddenly, I'm desperate to take him up on his offer. Why wait any longer? This gorgeous man wants to fuck me. I can finally satiate my curiosity. I can finally be a normal college student and not a virgin.
He points to four seats in the middle of the theater. I nod, sure, and take the seat closest to the aisle.
Miles plops next to me, hand on the armrest, body turned towards mine. His eyes are wide with enthusiasm, like I’m oh-so amusing to him. "Thinking about something pleasant?"
Asshole. "I like this movie. I don't want you ruining it with your flirting." I cross my legs and pull my skirt so it's covering as much leg as possible.
He smirks. "Listen, Meg—"
"What?"
"I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
“If you’re not interested, stop staring at me, and I’ll stop flirting with you."
He smiles like he’s daring me to stop. Like he’s certain I’m incapable of doing anything besides staring at his strong shoulders and chest.
“Whatever,” I say.
He only smiles.
"I'm going to be staring at the screen, so I guess that makes things clear."
"I guess it does."
We're interrupted by Drew. He steps over us, taking the seat next to Miles. He looks at his friend, shaking his head. "Meg, find me if Miles is giving you trouble. I’ll take care of it."
“Next you’re supposed to threaten violence,” Miles says. “So we all know you’re tough.”
“You think I won’t punch you in the fucking face?” Drew asks.
“You already have.” Miles turns to me. “It was over a riff. And I stand by what I said. It was derivative.”
“Go fuck yourself. That was an amazing lick,” Drew says.
“Not gonna change my mind no matter how many times you hit me,” Miles says.
“Didn’t that bother you?” I ask.
“Nah. Jam sessions always get heated. Especially when you mix Drew’s temper with Tom’s bossiness.”
Drew’s eyes narrow, apparently not keen on being compared to this Tom person.
Kara’s expression flares with discomfort. Her voice is high and strained as she changes the subject. “This is a really great movie, huh? Meg’s favorite. And I like it a lot too. Especially the part where Jeff Goldblum takes off his shirt.”
“Especially the part where the T-rex eats the fucking lawyer,” Drew says.
Miles turns to me. “I was going to be a lawyer. That’s what he’s getting at. Drew is so subtle. He can be hard to understand sometimes.”
Miles and Drew share a look. It’s totally incomprehensible, but it must mean something to them, because they both settle down.
Kara sighs. It’s like all the tension in her face relaxes. She passes out drinks—a can of iced green tea for me—and crosses over us to sit next to Drew. She turns to me and mouths is it okay?
I nod and mouth it’s fine.
***
I've never paid less attention to my favorite movie. Somehow, it's less interesting than Miles's fingers grazing my wrist.
That's all it is for the entire movie. He runs his fingertips along my inner wrist.
I order myself to shrink away from his touch, but I can't do it. His hand feels so damn good.
The movie ends with the T-rex attacking the raptors. Credits roll. Lights turn on. Miles pulls his hand back to his lap, no doubt playing nice now that his protective friend is watching.
"Excuse me." I push out of my seat and make my way to the bathroom. I always have to pee after a movie. Today, it's a great moment to regain control of my senses.
I’m consider taking Miles up on his offer. Have I lost my freaking mind?
It's not that I've been holding on to my virginity. It just never happened. Since seventh grade, my life has been about becoming a doctor. That always comes first. I had one boyfriend in high school. It was a few months, and it didn’t make much of an impression. He didn’t make my body buzz with want. He didn’t even fill me with that nervous, desperate need to be around him.
And then Rosie...her boyfriend was half the reason she got sucked into drugs. He seemed nice. He was always polite to me. But he dragged her into this awful world she couldn’t resist. No reason why I'd open myself up to the same.
I'm curious. I admit it. I'm desperate to know what the hell makes this sex thing so damn special.
Kara, Drew, and Miles are waiting outside the theater. Miles taps my shoulder with his.
"Why don’t you walk Kara home?" Miles says to Drew. "I'll walk Meg."
A defensive look spreads across Drew’s face.
Kara throws me a pretty please look.
"Yeah, I was telling Miles about the great boba tea place by my apartment. It's only open ‘til three, so we better hurry," I say.
"Right." Miles catches on immediately. "Catch you later."
Drew looks at me. "If Miles gives you any trouble, tell me. I’ll punch him right in the face."
Miles shakes his head, totally unfazed by his friend's threat. It seemed playful, but there was a hint of seriousness, too.
I try to laugh it off. "It's just bubble tea." I grab Miles by the shirt and pull him in the direction of my apartment. I take the first right. It's faster to stay on the main road, but I'd rather not risk Drew or Kara getting the idea to come with us.
Miles keeps pace with me. "You have the same idea I do?"
"I doubt that."
"Your friend and mine. Pretty obvious he wants to fuck her."
"Maybe they're just friends."
Miles shrugs. "Doubt it."
There are no street lamps here. This time of night, the only illumination comes from the moon. I turn at the next intersection. My apartment is about four blocks away. Not a ton of time for conversation.
"I like your skirt," he says.
I adjust it so I'm as covered as possible. "Thanks."
"You wear it for me?"
"No."
"What about the top?"
"I didn't even know you'd be here when I picked out my clothes." I take a quick step. "I don't need. I don't—"
"You're so damn cute when you're nervous."
I turn back to Miles and fold my arms over my chest. "I'm not cute. What do you know about clothes? Your jeans are a size too small."
His lips curl into a smile. He rests his hand on my shoulder. "You'
ve been staring at my jeans."
Dammit. Nothing rattles this guy. I'm not about to be the only one stammering and nervous and cute. I adopt my best poker face. "In. Your. Dreams."
A laugh escapes his lips. "Oh, no, I had a dream about you already, and it was a lot more fun."
My heart pounds against my chest, but I'm not about to show it. "I'm surprised you managed to get out of your jeans. Even in a dream."
"I didn't."
"But then—"
"In fact—" he leans even closer "—you were wearing something a lot like that skirt."
I press my legs together.
"Only without any panties."
Deep breath. He's only fucking with me. It's a story. "I don't believe you."
"I didn't save my sticky sheets."
My lungs fail me. They’re supposed to be breathing in and out, but they're still. "You didn't...You're just flirting."
"No. We’re past that point." He brushes my hair off my shoulders. "You want me, and I want you. There’s no reason to hide that." His fingers trail over my shoulder, over the strap of my tank top. Then they're back at his sides. "If you’re not ready, I’ll walk you home and leave."
I finally manage to suck a breath into my lungs.
My heart is beating so loud, I'm almost certain he can hear it. I take a slow breath. I maintain every ounce of composure.
I follow him to the next corner. Only two blocks now. "And if I am?"
We cross Sawtelle. Barely any time now. We're almost at my apartment.
"Then I’ll make sure you come so hard you forget your name,” he says.
CHAPTER FIVE
The elevator has never felt slower. Or smaller. Miles is three feet away but it feels like three inches. I have to respond to his request.
I have to make a decision.
I almost jump at the ding. I almost fall when I step into the hallway.
There are fifteen feet until my door. Miles is standing next to me, but he's silent.
Ten feet.
Nothing.
Five.
Nothing.
We're at the door. I pull my key from my purse and squeeze my fingers around it. My tongue slides over my lips.
He moves a little closer to me. Until his chest is nearly pressed against my back. Until I'm nearly pinned to the door.
He runs his fingers over my cheek, brushing my hair behind my ear. "Did you make your decision?”
"I, um..." I slide the key into the door but don't turn the knob.
He runs his fingers down my neck and over my shoulders. It's that same soft, sweet touch. So unlike everything about him.
"Turn around," he says.
I release the key and turn. My eyes find his. He's staring at me, into me, through me. My breath catches in my throat. My heart pounds against my chest.
He places one hand on my lower back and pulls me towards him. Almost. His eyes close. Mine follow suit. His fingers skim the waist of my skirt.
And he kisses me. It starts soft, a peck, then he's sucking on my lower lip, scraping his teeth against it.
I moan. His tongue slides into my mouth and swirls around mine. He shifts his hips, pinning me against the door.
Heat spreads through me like wildfire. He was right. I want to beg, plead, scream, do anything to keep his lips on mine.
Yes. I want to do this.
I need to do this.
He breaks the kiss and releases me. Hands at his sides, he studies my expression.
His hands hover over my hips, an inch away, but not touching me.
I exhale slowly. "I don't want to be another notch on your bedpost."
"I don't do relationships."
"Me either. But I don't want to be some girl whose name you can't remember." I play with my skirt. "And I'm not going to be with anyone unless we’re exclusive."
"Fair."
“Really? Don’t you screw a different girl every night?”
“Only some nights.” His expression softens. “Sinful Serenade is going to be in Los Angeles for a while. At least until we’re done recording our new album.”
“So I’m convenient?” I ask.
“Might be nice having something consistent.” His eyes find mine. "We're friends, right?"
"That's stretching the definition of the word friendship."
"Ouch." He mocks offense. "You should watch what you say to your friends. Might hurt their feelings."
"Has a woman ever hurt your feelings?"
"Not the way you're asking." He shifts, pressing his hips against me again. "I like you, Meg. And I'm pretty sure you're as desperate to fuck me as I am to fuck you."
I say nothing to confirm this claim.
"So how about we make this a regular thing—we can be fuck buddies."
"I've never done anything like this before."
"I guessed."
"And I'm not very experienced." My gaze goes to the floor.
He runs his fingers through my hair. "More than happy to help."
"Okay." I suck in a deep breath.
It seems impossible, that I'm about to have sex with someone like Miles.
But it's possible. It's happening.
I unlock the door and press it open. "Come in."
This tiny studio apartment feels smaller than it did this morning. There’s almost no room between us.
Miles locks the door behind him. He presses his back against it, his eyes passing over me like he's undressing me mentally. "I take it this means you agree to our arrangement?"
"I have terms."
He folds his arms over his chest.
"They're not negotiable."
"Let's hear it."
That heat spreads through me. I need something to cool down right away so I can stay in control of this conversation. I go to the sink and pour two glasses of water.
Miles is standing next to the bed. Not that there’s anywhere else to stand. I hand one glass to him and sip the other. It's lukewarm and does nothing to temper the heat racing to my fingertips.
Deep breath. I can do this. "I want total honesty. No secrets. No lies. No deception at all."
"That's a tall order for friends with benefits."
"No. It's the bare minimum for any healthy friendship."
He wraps his lips around the glass and takes a long sip. His eyes find mine. "I don't want you getting the wrong idea here. This isn't going to turn into some boyfriend/girlfriend relationship."
"Good."
"You're not going to be my confidant, or my best friend, or the shoulder I cry on," he says.
"Do you cry?"
"You shouldn't say such rude things to your friends." He downs the rest of his glass and sets it on the counter. Then, he moves towards me until he's only a foot away. "Honesty, right?"
"Yes. Honesty."
"So look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want this to turn into something more than friendship."
I look in his gorgeous blue eyes. "I don't want to develop feelings for you."
He stares back at me. "I'm not a monster. I don't want to hurt you."
"You won't. Not if you're honest."
Doubt creeps onto his face. "See, these conditions, they worry me. Make me think you're after more than just a good time."
I press my fingers into my glass. "I'm not. I don't even want a boyfriend. That's how my sister...they're more trouble than they're worth."
He nods like he accepts. "Okay. But on one condition."
"What?"
"You develop feelings for me, this is over."
"What if you develop feelings for me? What if you fall in love with me?" I tug at my skirt. "Isn't that possible?"
His voice is even and calm. "No."
"Whatever."
Miles laughs. "You're cute when you're flustered."
"Whatever."
He takes my glass from my hands and sets it on the counter. Then his hand runs through my hair. "We can be friends. We can have amazing sex. I won't lie to you, but I'm not goin
g to go around tearing my heart out, telling you all my secrets, either."
"You can keep your heart to yourself. I only want to know things that affect our friendship."
"Fair." He offers his hand to shake. "But I want to know the second you develop feelings for me."
"Sure, you’ll know. But it’s not going to happen."
Despite my sweaty palm, I take his hand with a firm grip. We shake.
And it's done.
Miles is my friend with benefits.
Miles, rock star sex god, is my friend with benefits.
He runs his hand over the neckline of my top. "Is it just me or is this way too much talking?"
I nod. Way, way too much talking.
His lips curl into a smile. "Glad we're on the same page."
He pulls the straps of my tank top off my shoulders and rolls it to my stomach. His fingers follow suit, tracing the outline of my bra. It's already so much. My breath hitches. A rush of want shoots straight to my core. Yes. This is such a good idea.
The pad of his thumb slides into my bra, playing with my nipple. I let out a gasp and press my hands against his chest to steady myself. There's still so much fabric between us, and we've wasted so much time talking.
This is just getting started.
He makes circles with his thumb, slow, then fast, soft, then hard.
He reaches around, unhooks my bra, and tosses it aside. That smug look in his eyes disappears and his gaze shoots right to my chest. "Your tits are amazing."
I blush. His eyes find mine, and that smug look is back.
"Thank you." I try to say it with confidence, but it comes out as a soft mumble.
He runs his hands up and down my spine with a soft touch. I shudder. I'm almost shaking.
"You're nervous?" he asks.
"It’s nothing.”
His voice is softer. “I’ll go slow." He presses one hand into my upper back and slides the other over my, so far, neglected breast.
He kisses his way down my neck and chest, until his mouth is inches from my breast.
I shudder, squeezing my thighs into his hips. His breath is warm against my skin. Then his mouth slides over my nipple.
Oh. My. God.
Pleasure pools between my legs. I squirm. I dig my fingers into my skirt. Something. Anything to keep from screaming.
He sucks on me. His mouth is so soft and wet. It feels so good I can barely stand it.
Sing Your Heart Out Page 3