Andi shook her head. “It’s not that I care about people paying attention to me,” she said. “That makes me sound sort of narcissistic. It’s just that those photographers hunting me down kind of creeped me out. It’s nothing I’ve ever experienced before. It kind of terrifying.”
“I get it. But it doesn’t make a world of sense to then shut out Zander forever because of it. These things can be dealt with.”
Andi heaved a sigh. “I don’t know. I’ve committed myself here for several months. They need me here.”
“Zander needs you here.”
“Yes, but he’s a little bit more self-sufficient than the children at this place.”
“You know it’s okay to not be everything for everyone. And it’s okay to take care of you every now and then. You don’t have to be selfless twenty-four seven.”
Andi rolled her eyes. “I’m not being selfless. I’m probably downright selfish because I get more enjoyment helping out here than they derive from me being here.”
“Andi, I’m just saying don’t be a fool and give up on something that could be really special in your life because you’re afraid. What is fear but just projecting out into the unknown? You have no idea how things will turn out, so why have you predetermined that being with Zander will be disastrous to you? Give him—give the two of you—a chance, would ya?”
Andi sat against the wall, rolling her head back and forth against it, frustrated by her inability to make a decision she’d be happy with.
“All I can say is I’ll think about it.”
Pippa squealed. “Great! I’ll count on you being here.”
“That’s not what I said, Pips. I’ll consider it, but I’m not making any commitments. So don’t go telling Zander I’m coming and then he’ll expect it and it might not happen.”
“All right, fine. I’ll keep my mouth shut. But I expect you here nevertheless.”
“Don’t hold your breath. No promises. Now, back to my scrubbing.” With that, she hung up the phone, choosing her current life over her fantasy life.
Chapter Twenty-eight
THE day had arrived for Josiah to go home with his new family. And while Pippa was thrilled for the child, she was saddened. Perhaps somehow he’d become a touchstone for Zander once she knew about their special connection. Or maybe it was just that the idea of losing him filled her with sadness since she knew she’d miss him terribly.
Which made her wonder if that was how Zander was feeling about her leaving. Was it possible that she made him feel that joyful? If she were to be honest with herself, she’d have to admit the converse: that Zander had taken up a huge chunk or real estate in her heart. No matter how many hours she toiled by day, by night she was left alone with her thoughts and more often than not they were filled with Zander.
Naturally her thoughts went to their time in the mountains, just the two of them, no outside interference. And the way he made her feel, both inside and out. She hadn’t been with many men in her life, and none of them could arouse such passion in her as that man, and merely thinking about him got her pulse racing and her breath staggered.
But Andi was nothing if not pragmatic. She had boiled her life down to the basics, and the way she lived wasn’t particularly compatible with the way he lived. It’s not as if she could just drop in and out of his life. He had a royal schedule, for goodness’ sake. Andi wasn’t a royal-schedule kinda gal. She liked coming and going at will and following which way the wind blew. Although blowing into Zander was sounding more and more appealing the longer she was away from him.
Josiah came running toward Andi, who had been lost in her own thoughts.
“Miss Andi, I have a present for you,” he said, beaming. He held in his hand a small photograph and a newspaper article, which he slipped into the palm of her hand.
Andi lifted it up to look at it and gasped. “Zander!”
Josiah nodded. “Yes, this is my prince,” he said. “It’s a story in the paper about all the help he’s given to us.”
Andi read the headline out loud. “Prince of Hearts Cares for Our Children.”
The article went on to discuss the millions of Kenyan shillings he’d donated to various organizations just in that country. She was beginning to wonder if this was a vast conspiracy to persuade her to return to him. How else could all these signs keep pointing toward Monaforte?
She handed the article back to Josiah, who shook his head.
“No, Miss Andi, this is for you. I want you to have this so you will know who my prince is,” he said. “Because you are my princess.”
Tears welled in Andi’s eyes. “Oh, sweetie, this is a special treasure of yours. I’m so thankful that you’d want to share it with me, but I want you to hold it close to your heart. And I’ll still be your princess. Deal?”
Josiah nodded and the two shook hands.
“I guess it’s almost time to say good-bye,” Andi said. “Although I know I’ll see you around because you’ll still attend school with us, won’t you?”
He smiled. “I’m going home, but I won’t be far.”
Home. What a marvelous concept that must mean so much more to a small child like him who’d never had a home to return to.
Andi thought about her home: of course she could always go home to Vegas, but it didn’t feel at all like home to her anymore. Sure, she’d visit her mother there. But she was no longer planted. She was scattered to the wind like dandelion fluff. She wondered what it would feel like to plant roots. If she did that, where would she go? The obvious place right now would be Monaforte. There was someone there who felt as much like home as she could imagine. But what if things didn’t work out there? The media would have a field day digging up her past, and God, they’d figure out she’d been fired from her job for taking pictures of Zander naked. They’d probably think she was one of those wallpaper wenches who sought him out. How embarrassing that would be when nothing could be further from the truth.
Just then a lovely couple walked up the stone path to where she stood with Josiah.
“Josiah, are you ready?” the woman said, her warm brown eyes illuminated by her smile.
Introductions were made, and it was time to bid farewell to her little friend. She bent down to be eye level with him and held his face between her hands.
“Josiah, I’m so happy for you. You have two wonderful parents who can take care of you and love you forever and ever,” she said. “You deserve this happiness.”
He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight. “I love you, Princess Andi.”
Andrea smiled. Oddly enough, it didn’t sound too terrible like that.
Chapter Twenty-nine
IT was dark when Pippa retired to her cot. She wanted nothing more than to sleep and clear her brain of thoughts.
She’d been putting off reaching out to her mother because she knew the Zander question was inevitable and she just didn’t want to deal with that one.
But she knew her mother would by now be worrying about her, so she sucked it up and dialed her number.
“Mom?” she said when her mother picked up.
“Andi, dear, I’ve been worried sick about you,” she said.
“I’m sorry about that. I sort of left my last place unexpectedly and needed to get a new SIM card in my phone for Kenya, and then I got busy so I forgot to let you know.”
“Forgot to let me know but yet you told Zander?”
Andi’s eyes opened wide. What the hell?
“Huh?”
“Well, that nice young man Alexander seemed to know where you were.”
“When did you talk to him?”
“I texted him after I couldn’t get hold of you. I was worried for your safety.”
Andi shook her head. Mothers.
“Mom, I’m fine. I wish you hadn’t done that.”
“Why not?”
“Because.”
“Because? You mean you’re giving me vague, evasive, one-word answers now like you did back when you we
re a teenager?”
“No,” Andi said. “It’s just complicated. I really didn’t want to involve Zander in things.”
“In what things?”
“Well, like conversations with you, for starters,” she said. “There’s just no reason for you to be chatting with him.”
“That’s nonsense,” her mother said. “Like I said, I was worried about you and thought he might be able to give me information. Turns out I was quite right and he did that very thing.”
Andi growled and buried her face in her pillow, which of course made it hard to talk. “My life is an open book.”
“What?”
“Nothing. Enough about me, how’re you doing?”
“Everything’s pretty much the same here. I’ve been seeing that nice man Anthony. The one who wears the fedora I told you about? We go out to dinner once a week, and he eats here every Sunday night. He’s not your father, but he’ll do.”
“Not my father? I would think Frankenstein would be an upgrade from that man.”
“You know I try to be fair and give him the benefit of the doubt.”
“Yeah, and whole lot of good that’s done. The man has a child he’s never acknowledged. What a jerk.”
“Yes, but Andrea, that’s his loss. I got to have you all to myself. So in a way he gave me a gift.”
Andi didn’t want to mention that little part about her not having grown up with a loving father. It never seemed a good time to remind her mother of that. Maybe that absentee-father thing was at the root of her man issues. Man issues? Did she actually have them? Or were they just Zander issues? And if not that, was it more like she was motivated by fear, just as Pippa had said. Or was it choice D—all of the above?
“Why can’t you just be mad at him? Or at the other two bozos you settled down with? Why do you just chalk it up to experience and move on? Doesn’t it make you furious?”
This was so not the conversation she’d planned for tonight.
“Honey, I learned long ago that I could allow myself to be eaten away by anger, or I could move on. I made the choice to not dwell on the negative, appreciate what good came of those relationships, and the rest? Well, that’s all water under the bridge now, so why let it get to me?”
Andi shook her head. Was it admirable of her mother to do this, or just sad?
“But they treated you disrespectfully, and they promised you they’d stay, and they left. They played around with other women and left you holding the bag.”
“Andrea, dear, have you learned nothing from me? Life happens. Sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. And from each event comes lessons learned. Sure I’ve been hurt, and sure I’ve been treated wrongfully. But I’ve had a pretty good life so far, and I’ve benefited in some way from each of those relationships. So I don’t dwell on the bad of it and instead choose to focus on the good. I hope you can learn at least that from me. Besides which, I got you, so clearly I haven’t made a whole lot of mistakes.”
Andi figured this as not hers to argue. It was her mother’s life, and she needed to let it be. “I hear you, Mom. And I respect your decisions. And you did win the lottery with me.” She laughed.
“So what happened between you and that nice Zander?”
Andi thought if she heard that nice Zander one more time, she was going to scream. But was it because he actually was nice? Not to mention an amazingly selfless lover and a sweet and generous friend? And because she was being a complete chickenshit by avoiding the man? She decided to come clean with her mother.
“Okay, fine. I’ll clue you in. Zander and I started a relationship. He’s a really kind, lovely man. We spent some time together. And he took me skydiving—”
“Skydiving. Even though I asked you to be safe.”
“Yes, and it was exhilarating. So much fun. Besides, I know Zander checked with you first, so don’t act surprised. Anyhow, we stayed at a lovely country inn, and he invited me to his brother’s wedding and bought me a gorgeous gown to wear to it. It was magical.”
“So you’re not with him because?”
Andi sighed. “It got complicated.”
“Complicated can always be boiled down to simplistic if you just untangle the yarn one knot at a time.”
Andi shook her head. “It’s not always that easy, Mom. He’s got a very different life from mine. He has all these expectations for him, and he’s got a family that has to consult each other’s calendars. And he has photographers who stalk him and take pictures of him.”
“Yeah, I think we’ve seen those.”
Andi blushed. Now she gets embarrassed about Zander’s naked pictures? “I don’t even mean them. I mean like paparazzi, who want to know everything he’s doing and with whom.”
“All of the time?”
Andi paused. Hell if she knew. “I have no idea. But I know when I was with him they found out, and then it was on the news and they followed me.”
“But when you met him at the train station in Rome, wasn’t he on his own?”
“Well, yes, just him and a friend.”
“And were there swarms of photographers with him then?”
“Well, no.”
“And so he doesn’t always have photographers hounding him, right? Just sometimes?”
“I don’t know! Why are you splitting hairs?”
“I’m not splitting hairs, Andrea. I’m pointing out to you that maybe you’re overreacting. Maybe once the media finds out that you’re with him, then they’ll move on to their next target. So maybe it’s a brief distraction and one you have to figure out how to deal with, but is it a reason to never be with a man you might fall in love with?”
Andi gasped. “I’m not in love with Zander!”
But was she? Was that the scariest part of it all? Giving her heart to a man, especially when it was a man who’d failed to give her his from the time of her birth?
“I didn’t say you’d fallen in love with him. But I know you enough to think you could easily do so if you’d stop letting your mind tell you what to do.”
“I’m just being realistic.”
“Sometimes realistic means you miss out on some wonderful things in your life.”
Like a handsome prince who swept her off her feet.
“But I’m needed here.”
“Do you seriously think that everyone there wants you to miss out on a chance at a wonderful relationship? And surely you can return there with Zander. Maybe the two of you can do some good there?”
Andi hadn’t even thought about that. After all, Zander had already established himself as a regular presence, apparently. But would that be the same thing? And if she took a chance and things fell through, then what? It would feel weird to return here under the circumstances, as if it was Zander’s territory or something.
“I don’t know, Mom. My head is full of shoulds and shouldn’ts and I just can’t even figure it all out anymore.”
“Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith, sweetie, and then it all works out. Don’t not do something just because you don’t know what’ll happen.”
“All right. I’ll think some more about it. But it’s late and I’m tired, so I’d best get some sleep. I’ll be up by dawn tomorrow.”
“Andi?”
“Yeah, Mom?”
“Zander told me to tell you he’s been thinking about you.”
Andi gritted her teeth, feeling manipulated.
“I love you, Mom. Good night.”
Chapter Thirty
ANDI sometimes wondered why she couldn’t just throw caution to the wind when it came to her emotions. Especially when she was so good at doing it with her life. After all, she’d chucked it all and gone off traveling, no safety net. Why did this thing with Zander feel so different? It was just a new adventure on an uncharted course. She could’ve done it had she given herself enough credit. More like had she given Zander more credit to protect her from the anxious moments that inevitably accompany a royal assignation.
Pippa had g
iven her plenty of opportunity to come back for the wedding, even to surprise Zander, which would have been the best thing she could have done, but she hadn’t been able to pull the trigger. What the hell? How stupid was that?
And yet here she sat, wishing deep down that she were there with Zander, able to share his happiness. Instead, she was sitting in a room with the barest of essentials, a naked lightbulb dangling from the ceiling, a few dozen flies dive-bombing her head, and a hole in the ground that served as an outdoor toilet ten feet away from her room was the biggest luxury she had going.
The time had come: now or never was upon her.
She picked up her phone and called the airport to see if there was any way she could get herself to Monaforte in time for the wedding at this point. She had no idea how she was going to pay for a plane ticket—or a hotel, for that matter; she wasn’t about to bother Pippa at this point. She figured this was what emergency credit cards were made for. And maybe she could still find a place to sleep in Monaforte. Surely the royal wedding guests wouldn’t be roughing it in a backpacker’s hostel.
She threw her things into her backpack, bade a teary yet hasty farewell to Josiah and the rest of the children, and was en route to the airport in Nairobi in a matter of hours.
~*~
This trip, instead of the train station, she arrived at the most posh Monaforte Royal Airport, which in itself could have been mistaken for a national museum it was so opulent. Going in style this time, she thought. When she got a shuttle to Porto Castello and found her hostel, it was well after midnight. She was completely exhausted after so many hours of traveling, so she laid her head on her flimsy hostel pillow, closed her eyes, and passed right out.
She heard from others the next morning that she’d need to get situated along the viewing area immediately if she wanted to be able to see the wedding parade pass by following the official ceremony, which meant many hours waiting curbside. She put on her pack, grabbed a pastry, a sandwich, and a liter of water from a nearby shop, and found a spot along the route from which she’d hoped she could see Zander pass by.
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