“What on earth would make you ask me that?” She’s feigning indignation, but underneath it I see the hurt and humiliation.
I look into those eyes that have looked at me with love, patience, and pride all these years. “Mom, you don’t have to pretend with me. I know. I know how he was. I just want to know: Did he ever give that to you?”
“Yes, son, he did.” I sit quietly, wondering what she’s going to say. “He told me about two hours before he died.”
Two hours before he died. All those years together, and he had to be dying to finally tell his wife that he loved her? That’s some kind of fucked up. She interrupts my thoughts with, “And he said, ‘Maggie, I was wrong to keep this from you all these years. You earned my love and respect over and over, but I was afraid to show it. Guess I don’t have anything to lose now, do I?’ I never questioned if he loved me; it was obvious he did. But I’d waited all those years to hear that, Steffen.” There’s a sadness on her face that takes my breath away.
“He taught me the same thing, that real men don’t go around telling people that they love them. It cost me one relationship, and it almost cost me another one.”
“But you fixed it in time, right, son?” There’s a little spark in her eyes that’s been missing for awhile now.
“Yes. Finally. It was almost too late, but I fixed it. And that’s why I wanted to come and talk to you.” She’s gazing intently at my face like she’s going to miss something if she blinks. “Mom, I’m going to ask Sheila to marry me.”
She claps her hands together and starts to laugh. “Well, thank goodness! You certainly work slow, Steffen! I thought you’d never get around to it. Do you think she’ll say yes?”
“Oh, I’m certain of it. She told me she will.”
My mother reaches for my hands and takes them in hers, her tiny fingers thin and cool against my skin. “I’m so happy for you, for both of you. You may be my son, but you’re a fine man, Steffen, and pretty damn handsome too.” Her smile is a mile wide. “So when do you think you’ll be doing this?”
“Probably in the next couple of weeks. Think you’d like to come?”
I’m unprepared when my mother starts to weep. She cries harder and harder and I don’t know what to do. What would I do if it were Sheila? I just lean over, pull her out of her chair, and draw her into my lap. The little boy she once held is now holding her, trying to take away the pain and fear, and my heart tells me in that intimate moment how much I’m going to miss her. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to have some kind of relationship with my sister, or if that’s just too far gone. Almost as though she can read my mind, she says, “You could call Cecilia, talk to her. I’d really like it if the two of you could spend some time together. She’s all you’ve got left, Steffen.”
“I have you,” I blurt out. I know what she’s trying to say, but I don’t really want to acknowledge it.
“You know exactly what I mean. Will you try, Steffen? Please?”
I nod. “Yes, Mom, I promise – I’ll try.”
“Good. Want something to drink? I’ve got some stuff in the kitchen.”
“No, no, that’s okay. I need to go. I just wanted you to know what was going on. So we’ll plan on you being there, right?”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world! I love you, son.”
I hug her close to me. “I love you too, Mom. I love you so much.”
“I like this one. Whaddya think?” Sheila holds up a dress, a pretty dress, but I’m just not sure about it.
I shake my head. “It’s just not ‘you,’ if you know what I mean.”
“Yeah. I know.” She puts it back on the rack and keeps looking.
“Look at this one.” I hold up a royal blue that’s just too lovely to leave on the rack.
She shakes her head. “I don’t know about that.”
I hold it out to her. “Just go try it on.” Standing and staring, hands on hips, she finally reaches out and takes it from me. “Good girl. Go on. I’ll be waiting.” I know there’s a little smirk on my lips which she tries to kiss away, but it doesn’t work. I’m still smirking as she disappears into the dressing room.
Two minutes later, I hear a feminine throat-clearing and turn. “Oh. My. God. Baby, you look amazing.”
She’s so excited that I can see it all over her. “I know, right? I mean, I didn’t think it looked all that great on the hanger, but I put it on and turned around and, oh my god, it’s beautiful!”
Every curve on that super-feminine body is accentuated by the cut, and the soft, clingy, shimmering fabric drapes perfectly. Give her a pair of black patent pumps and she’ll look like a million bucks. Hell, she looks like a million bucks already. “Sweetheart, I didn’t think you could possibly look any sexier, but I was dead wrong. Dead wrong.” She turns so I can see her ass. “Wow. Was I ever wrong.”
“You like it?” She’s beaming.
“No. I love it. And I love you.” After I let her kiss me sweetly, I step back. “I’ve got something for you.”
“Oh, Steffen. Not here. Really? No, please . . .”
“Would you stop it? Just wait.” Reaching into my pocket, I draw out something and I see her eyes glisten and tears well in the corners. “Hold out your arm.”
I fasten the bracelet around her wrist and watch as she looks it over like it’s the crown jewels, a faint smile spreading across her face. “You know, when I walked out without that bracelet, I felt like someone had stripped me bare and raped me. My arm felt so naked and raw. All that time, I’d look down and hope it was there, but it wasn’t, and my heart would break again.”
I reach out to her and she leans into my chest, my arms tightening around her protectively. “You never have to take it off again. Except while we’re scening if we’re doing restraints. I don’t want it broken.”
“No, Sir.” She giggles a little when she says it.
“Now, go change. Oh, and do you want the dress?”
“Yes!”
I smile. “Give it to me and I’ll go pay for it while you get dressed. Then it’s on to the lingerie store.” At that, she claps and jumps up and down, then kisses me and runs back to the dressing room. About forty-five seconds later, she calls out, “Here!” and the dress sails through the door and hits me in the face. Classy – very classy.
An hour and a half later, we leave the shoe store with new Louboutins after having cleaned out the lingerie store. Every panty in a medium and every bra in a 34D is now in a bag that hangs from my arm, and she’s laughing and smiling and teasing me as we go to the car.
I can’t remember a time when I’ve been this happy. But the day’s not over yet.
“I love this place. Don’t you love this place? I love this place.” She’s all grins as the maître d shows us to our table. She’s so bubbly and excited to be here that she doesn’t realize almost all of the tables are empty. If I didn’t know better, I’d think she’d taken a hit of speed. Her eyes twinkle in the candlelight, and I think to myself that I’ve never seen a more beautiful woman in my entire life. Fuck those lingerie models; she’s got them beat hands down.
“I do love this place. I love that this was the place where we had our very first actual date.” I grin at her and she knows exactly what I’m thinking.
“We kinda did it backwards, didn’t we?”
I shake my head. “Absolutely not. We did it the perfect way for us.” The gentleman helps Sheila into her seat as I take mine, then promises that our waiter will be back in just a few minutes. “So, have any idea what you’d like tonight?”
“No! I want to try something new. Look – this dish has truffles in it. Do you like truffles?”
I look up and nod to a couple coming in as they’re seated nearby. “I love truffles. What about pork?”
“Oooo, I like pork! What about this pork saltimbocca? That sounds good!” She’s wandering through the menu.
“I think we should choose our wine first. That’s what he’ll be asking about next. Shall I order for
us?”
“Oh, please!” As she keeps staring at the menu, I glance up and nod to two more people.
“She’d like a glass of pinot gris, and I’ll take a glass of merlot,” I tell the wine steward. Watching him walk away, I ask, “So what have you decided on for dinner?”
“Oh, I think it’s the pork or this chicken dish. What about you?” Thankfully, she doesn’t look up, because I’m looking at someone else who’s come in just then.
“Um, I think I’m having the filet mignon, actually. Oh, yes,” I tell the server as he returns, “We’ll both have a fresh salad with the chardonnay vinaigrette, no onions, and grated parmesan on them, please.” He nods as he retreats, and the wine promptly shows up. Sipping on it, we make our final selections from the menu and order, sit and chat while we wait, and just generally enjoy each other’s company.
The food arrives, delicious as usual. And I’ve been looking around the room. The empty tables have all filled, and I’m stuffed. She looks like she is too. The table is cleared, and the server asks, “Would you like one of our famous desserts?” With the eye she can’t see from where she sits, he winks at me.
“No, I don’t think so, but thank you.”
Sheila’s eyes fly open wide. “What? What do you mean, no? I want dessert! Sir, I . . .” she calls after him, but he’s gone. Her eyes turn back and fix on me. “I wanted dessert. Why couldn’t you just let me order?”
“Because you don’t need it.”
“Oh? And what the hell is that supposed to mean exactly?”
“It means this.” I stand and go to her side of the table. Her back is to the rest of the room, so I take her hand, help her stand, then turn her sideways to face me. When she’s turned, I drop to one knee right there in front of her. The look on her face is pure shock as I look up at her. “Sheila, I love you. I’m going to love you until I die. And if you should go before me, I’ll make you a promise.” I choke back the sob that’s threatening to spill from my throat. “I’ll never, never forget you. Never. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. Being without you would be like being without the best part of myself.” Hesitating for just a second as I watch the tears rolling down her face, I simply ask, “Will you be my wife?”
Barely above a whisper, she answers, “Oh, god, Steffen. Oh, yes. Yes, I want to marry you.” With those words, I reach into my pocket and produce a ring that I chose, one with a stone large enough to let her know with just its presence that she’s the most precious thing in my life. As I slip it onto her hand, she feels a touch on her shoulder and turns.
“Welcome to my family, daughter,” my mother says in a tiny, shy voice, and kisses Sheila on the cheek. I hear someone begin to clap and, sure enough, it’s Clint. He rises and Trish joins him, followed by Dave, Marta, and Angela, most of my employees from the bank and their spouses, and all of Sheila’s research colleagues. To her shock and delight, the last group to rise is her parents, sister, brothers, and all of their families. But the most surprised person in the room is me: Cecilia and her husband and kids are there, and I decide right then that getting to know her is worth the time I’d spend. Everyone applauds as I take my gorgeous girl in my arms and kiss her, and as our lips touch, I feel every gram of doubt and uncertainty that might possibly have still existed evaporate and disappear into the ether like vapor.
“This! This is what the dress was all about! And the shoes!” She rests her forearms on my shoulders and looks up into my eyes. “And the underwear?”
Leaning into her ear, I reply, “Nah. That was just for me. But if you’ve got some of it on right now, hey, that’s great!” Before I have a chance to say anything else, she takes the neckline of her dress in her hand and pulls out so I can look down her torso to see the bra underneath. Yep – it’s the two-tone blue number with the iridescent lace that I bought for her. “Nice. Very nice. I can’t wait to take that off.”
“Oh, you’ll get your chance, Mr. Cothran, believe me.” She kisses me again as the servers roll out a banquet buffet serving line full of the most gorgeous desserts I’ve ever seen. “This is why you wouldn’t let me order dessert!”
Laughter is just bubbling out of me. “Yep! I didn’t want you eating some run-of-the-mill crème brûlée when I had this waiting in the wings! But hey, watch that dress. Don’t spill anything on it, hear me?”
She shoots me an odd look. “Well, okay. Hadn’t planned to anyway.”
“It’s important.” I give her a stern glare.
“Okay then.” She gets her dessert and takes a seat at the table with one of her coworkers, and I join them after I’ve gotten my plateful.
Another gentleman comes in, and when a server tells me who he is, I excuse myself, go and greet him, and ask him to accompany me back to the table. “Sheila, I’d like you to meet someone. This is Father O’Brien. Father, this is my fiancée, Sheila Brewster.”
“Miss Brewster, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” He waits expectantly.
“So were you Steffen’s priest growing up?”
Before he can answer, I shake my head. “Do you remember when I told you what you said to me at the club that night?”
Brow wrinkled in confusion, she said, “About being in pain?”
“Nope.” I grin from ear to ear. “About wanting to marry me right then?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, here’s your chance. Marry me right here, Sheila, right this minute. Everyone’s here. They’re all willing to stay. Hell, we’ve already had the reception.” Then I remember and turn. “Sorry, Father.” Sheila starts to laugh. “So please? Let’s not waste another second. Whaddya say?”
Now she’s laughing right out loud. “I’d say you’re crazy, Steffen Cothran! And I’d also say you’re smart and sexy and very, very clever. Plus I’d say you’re about to get yourself a wife.” She turns to the priest. “Don’t mind us, Father O’Brien. Just get out your piece of paper or whatever it is and let’s get to it. I want to marry this man before he forgets that he asked me,” she says and winks at me.
“Never happen, babe. Never happen.” We all sober as Father O’Brien begins the vows, and we answer appropriately. When we get to the “richer and poorer” thing, I finish with “I do” and then I say directly to Sheila, “You are my wife and I will love you forever as sure as the sun rises in the morning and sets in the evening.” She smiles up at me and I know what happiness looks like.
The priest goes on with the repeating of the vows, and Sheila parrots him word for word until she says, “I do,” and then looks up into my face. Her face is all sweetness and light as she says, “Steffen, you’re the only man I’ve ever truly trusted. On this day, every slate is wiped clean and we start fresh in every way. There’ll be no secrets and no regrets.” I nod, and she whispers to me in a voice coarse with emotion, “You are my everything. If you truly love me, and I believe you do, then only you can make my life complete. I give you everything I am and everything I have, my husband.”
In the most precious gesture anyone’s every directed toward me, she takes my hand and kisses the back of it. Out of the blue, I start to weep. I can’t help it. When I turn my face away from her, her soft hand turns it back toward her and she smiles up at me. In a choked, raspy wheeze, I let out, “I thought I’d lost you.”
“I’ll promise you something right now, Steffen Gunnar Cothran. If you lose me, I’ll always find my way back to you. And if I lose you, I trust that you’ll always find your way back to me. Deal?”
I wipe one eye with the back of my free hand and smile. “Deal. God, I’m sorry, baby. I’m a real mess.”
A smile widens her lips as she shakes her head. “Never, never apologize to me for being a real man. That emotional honesty? That’s what I need from you. Always.”
“Do the two of you have rings you’d like to exchange?” I hear the priest ask.
I smile and nod, still sniffling, but Sheila gasps. “Oh, no! I didn’t know this was going to happen so I don’t have his!”
There’s a soft chu
ckle and Trish appears next to Sheila and there, in her palm, is a ring box. “Good thing you told me where you hid it. And good thing you have a spare key hidden outside too.” That makes Sheila giggle. She hands Sheila the tiny box, and I watch my new wife reach for her friend and hug her before taking the little treasure and turning back to me.
As she opens the box, takes out the ring, and hands the box back to Trish, Clint hands me Sheila’s ring; he’d had it since I picked it up from the jewelry store. As it passes from his hand into mine, he leans into me and growls, “For the love of god, Cothran, marry this woman and stop blubbering.”
“Shut up, Winstead.”
“No, you shut up, Cothran. And have a happy life. I love you, brother, and I’m happy for you. Put that ring on her finger and seal the deal before she can change her mind. I know if I were her, I’d be looking for a way to skip town as fast as I could.”
“Lucky for me I’m not marrying you.”
“Lucky for both of us.”
In that moment, I can’t help it; I reach for Clint and hug him tight, and he hugs me back. “Thanks for being a true friend, Winstead. You have no idea what your friendship means to me.”
He whispers back, “What are you trying to do, get me to blubber? Not happening, man. But thanks. Your friendship means the world to me too.” He pats my back and turns loose, and his eyes are red and teary too.
In that moment, I realize that it doesn’t matter that I won’t have any family here when my mother is gone. I have family, a family that I’ve chosen and made, and that bond is strong. Across the room I can see Dave smiling, and Marta and Angela are there too. I know when I need a dad or a mom, the three of them will be there for me. Bridget is near them, and it’s clear to me that I hired a remarkable young woman when I hired her. She’s been there for me to do anything I asked, and to do so cheerfully. I look around and see that the whole restaurant is filled with love, from Hailee and McKenna, who were excited to be able to have new dresses for the occasion, and Morris, who looks hideously uncomfortable in his little suit and tie, to the servers, people I’ve seen over and over through the years whose names I don’t even know but who are standing and watching, their faces stretched in smiles, happy for both of us. And Sheila’s family seems genuinely happy to know that I’m part of them now, a thing I’ll be eternally grateful for. I’ve never known love like this, but it’s this remarkable woman standing here with me who awoke me to the possibilities for happiness and love all around me. I owe her everything. I owe her my very life.
Unforgettable You (Me, You, and Us Book 2) Page 20