Let Me Just Say This

by B. Swangin Webster

  “Yes, I think this is the dress.” Cheryl announced.

  He stormed from the bridal shop in a huff.

  Two weeks before the wedding they were giving the caterer the final count of guests and confirming the limousines. The flowers had been ordered weeks ago, although none of Cheryl’s favorites were going to be used. Kevin had decided, with her mother’s agreement that since Cheryl was being a little extravagant with the catering, that the flower budget would be cut so they chose to use lilies and hydrangeas for the tables. Cheryl won the argument for roses for her bouquet after another week. Cheryl’s father was telling her that she could have anything and even when Cheryl tried to take the cheaper route he insisted on her getting exactly what she wanted, much to the disgust of her mother.

  Cheryl woke up the day of her wedding feeling very ill. She didn’t know if it was about the wedding or about the wedding night. This would be her first experience being with a man and she didn’t want to blow it. She wanted to talk to her sister but felt too embarrassed to bring it up.

  “Ok, let’s go. I have got to do something with your hair, since you didn’t want to go the shop and get it done.” her sister said as she bounced into Cheryl’s bedroom.

  “Ok, just let me wash it first.”

  “Girl, ain’t no time for that. It is already eleven thirty and the wedding starts at one. If you wash it now, it won’t be done before the wedding and Kevin said that you couldn’t be late.”

  “Well, Kevin isn’t the bride. Isn’t the bride supposed to be late?” Cheryl laughed.

  “Girl, just come on here. The rest of the girls are done. The photographer will be here in thirty minutes.”

  Her sister worked her magic and less than an hour later Cheryl had loose curls like a fifty’s movie star. She started to cry.

  “Didn’t I tell you that there ain’t no time for that? The wedding is going to be starting in less than forty-five minutes and you still need to get dressed and take pictures,” her sister said while handing her tissues and pushing her towards the bathroom.

  The wedding started about twenty minutes late, but everyone commented how beautiful it was.

  Cheryl didn’t eat at the reception because her stomach was queasy. She instead settled for a glass of ginger ale and just a taste of cake. Kevin didn’t seem to notice that she wasn’t eating until the staff asked if she wanted a plate, which he promptly turned down. They danced their first dance and she began to feel more nervous as she could feel his manhood through his pants. There was no way around it, she was going to have to talk to her sister. She asked her sister to go to the bathroom with her. She made sure no one was in there when she blurted out,

  “How do you know if it is going to hurt?”

  “What?”

  “You know…the first time…do you know if it will hurt?” she said as she sat down on the chair in the corner of the bathroom.

  “Oh, it will, but you have to put in your mind, that you will enjoy it afterwards. Don’t worry; Kevin knows exactly what to do,” she said with a grin while fixing her lipstick in the mirror.

  Around midnight the party was winding down so they decided to make their way to start their honeymoon. They got to the hotel and Cheryl immediately went to the bathroom to change into one of her bridal shower gifts.

  “What is taking you so long?” he asked from behind the door.

  “Just trying to unzip this damn dress.”

  He opened the door and turned her around.

  “That’s why I told you not to get this damn thing anyway,” he said, while unzipping it.

  “I’ll be right out.” She slipped into the red outfit that her sister gave her.

  “What in the hell are you wearing?” he asked, getting up from the bed.

  “Angel gave me this. I thought.”

  “I don’t like it. Take it off,” he said angrily as he finished his drink “Better yet. Come here.”

  She walked over to him and he grabbed her by the back of the neck and pulled her towards him and thrust his tongue into her mouth. The taste of the liquor he had finished was still fresh. He grabbed her around the waist and picked her up in one motion. He took her to the bed and snatched the fabric between her legs up causing the thin material to rip. His hands went up her stomach and to her breasts. He yanked his boxers down in one motion and used his feet to kick them off the bed. His penis pointed up to her covered jewel. His mouth came back to hers and he bit her lip causing her to yelp in pain. He pushed her leg to the side, and raised his body up. He looked into her eyes and suddenly rammed himself into her.

  It took her by surprise, “Kevin. Wait. It hurts,” she cried out as she tried to push him off of her.

  “Oh God Kevin, wait, it hurts.”

  Again she tried pushing him off of her. Her mind was racing and the burning sensation was almost unbearable.

  “Yeah, this is what you want. Isn’t it?” he growled in her ear.

  “No. No. Not like this. Please Kevin, you’re hurting me,” She said as she tried pushing him off.

  “I told you I didn’t like that dress before, but you wore it anyway,” he said, still pushing deep into her.

  The pain became so intense that tears were running down the side of her face. The headboard was hitting the wall with each thrust.

  “Kevin, stop. It hurts. Stop it!” She screamed. His hand came down over her mouth while his other hand went against the headboard.

  “Shut up, this is what you wanted, right? You wanted me to treat you like a common whore in the street.”

  “No, no, I didn’t. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

  “Kevin moaned as he pushed harder into her.

  “Open your legs,” he demanded.

  He took his hand away from her mouth long enough to pull her leg up to her chest and push deeper.

  “Goddamn, you weren’t lying. You are a virgin,” he grunted. “Shit!” he moaned. “This is my pussy from now on. You hear me. Mine,” he groaned into her ear.

  Her groans of pain went unnoticed and soon the groans turned into sobs.

  “Cheryl! Girl you are so tight, goddamn.”

  Kevin’s body got rigid and then he fell over on her and rolled off her and began snoring. She eased herself from the bed and turned and looked at him. He was fast asleep. She didn’t want to believe that this was how it was going to be. Nothing about her first time felt right. It didn’t look like any of the movies she had watched. She walked slowly into the bathroom. She looked into the mirror and noticed the huge red spot on her neck. The spot Kevin had been sucking on. She felt something running down her leg and looked down and noticed the blood. She panicked. She walked into the bedroom and grabbed her cellphone. She dialed the only person she could think of.

  “Angel,” she said breathlessly. “I’m bleeding.”

  “So. You called me to tell me that,” her sister said with attitude.

  “I mean, from, you know.”

  “Girl, stop being a baby. That happens sometimes. Don’t be acting new. Where is Kevin?”

  “Asleep.”

  “Oh, you wore him out.” She laughed.

  “No, more like he wore himself out,” she answered back.

  “Look, get back to the fine man and don’t call me no more.” Just like that, she hung up. She opened the door to find Kevin on the phone.

  “Yeah, send up housekeeping with some fresh sheets. Thanks.” He had pulled the sheets off of the bed and then looked at Cheryl standing in the doorway.

  “Oh, I’m not through with you yet,” he said and walked into the bathroom.

  That night lasted until late in the afternoon the next day. Kevin had sex with her over and over. When he finally stopped he turned her over and said, “Don’t you ever wear something that I don’t approve of anymore? Do you understand me?” She nodded and again headed towards the bathroom.

  This time she ran a bath and eased herself down into it.

  A tear streamed down Cheryl’s face. The memory of that night was almost
unbearable. She never would have imagined things could go from bad to worse. Her months of therapy told her that this was due in part to the feelings of worthlessness when her high school sweetheart left her for her enemy. Cheryl still loved Shaun and settled for the one person who gave her a little attention when she needed it the most. He showed a good side before he showed his evil side and sucked her into the fantasy world that she created in her mind. The only way to get out of this nightmare was to make a change and she was determined to do so, come hell or high water.

  Chapter 31

  “Where have you been?” Cheryl asked him.

  “Out,” he answered.

  “With her?”

  “No, at the gym.”

  “Don’t lie. I can smell her cheap perfume.”

  “I don’t know what you smell because I have been working out.”

  “I am sure you have,” she answered back

  “At the gym,” he said.

  “Yeah, right.”

  “I don’t really care if you believe me or not.”

  “Not.”

  “Suit yourself. Any clean towels?” he asked as he began pulling off his workout clothes

  “Hall closet,” she answered him.

  Kevin had the kind of body that made most women weak. His shoulders were well defined, his waist narrow but his thick muscular thighs were always prominent in whatever he wore. His arms were muscular but not overly. Women routinely commented on how sexy he was and he enjoyed the attention.

  Cheryl tried not thinking of him in that sense anymore because of how bad things had gotten but something was pushing her towards the bathroom. She walked in as he finished brushing his teeth and knelt down in front of him and took his manhood into her mouth. He became aroused.

  He grabbed her hair and moaned; “damn.”

  His hands were gripping her hair tighter as he continued to moan.

  “Damn, that’s right,” he urged.

  “Come up here,” he said while standing her up. He bent her over the sink and drove himself deep into her.

  “Oh yes Kevin,” she cried out.

  “Give it to me Cheryl,” he answered. “Bang your ass into me.” Their skin slapped together.

  “Yeah, girl, give it to me.” His hand met hers between her legs.

  His hands cupped her breast and he began nipping at the back of her neck.

  “Oh yes,” she cried out again.

  “Whose is it?” he asked “Yours baby.”

  “Tell me again,” he demanded.

  “Yours,” she responded.

  “Ain’t nobody getting this Right?” he said while pounding into her rougher. “That’s right, give it to me. Give me my pussy. This is my pussy. You hear me!”

  “Yes. Yes,” she groaned out.

  “I’m going to take what is mine,” he said.

  “Yes,” was all she could mutter.

  “Beg me Cheryl,” he said while pulling her hair.

  “Please, I want you to fuck me.”

  “No…I know what you really want!” Kevin suddenly withdrew, and pushed himself into a different target, a place he knew she didn’t like.

  “No” she cried out, as her hand left the sink and tried to push him out of her. “Aww.”

  Kevin. No. Stop,” she cried out as her senses came back to her and the pain shot though her.

  “You can take it,” he growled and pushed her hand away. His hand grabbed around her throat and started squeezing.

  “No,” she whispered, while trying to catch her breath. “Kevin, please stop.”

  “Oh Shit.” He pounded into her harder. “Fuck!” he shouted as he let go deep inside of her ass.

  He withdrew from her and quickly turned on the shower and stepped in. No words, no thanks, nothing.

  Chapter 32

  Kevin tried doing some work but his mind was elsewhere. He decided to give his boy a call.

  “Man, Cheryl was acting like some whore I could pick up downtown.”

  “Sounds to me like she was trying to please her man.”

  “Please, any other time, she would be all offended and shit if I try going into the forbidden zone.”

  “Shit, if Ashley let me do that shit, I would give that girl the world. Hell I might even marry her ass.”

  “Nigga, you know you ain’t getting married.”

  “That’s right. You know my motto.”

  “Always a playa,” they said in unison.

  “Nigga, I gotta go, my other line is beeping. Holla.”

  Kevin disconnected from his call with Black and picked up the other line He didn’t recognize the number but picked up anyway.

  “May I speak with Mrs. Goldman?” The husky voice said.

  “She isn’t here.”

  “Can you let her know that…?”

  “Yeah,” Kevin said and hung up before the caller could say anymore. He had an attitude. Why is some man calling my wife, he thought to himself as the news channel suddenly came alive with a breaking story.

  “An accident has shut down northbound 95 at the exit of Pennsylvania Avenue and Upper Marlboro. Both right lanes are closed so avoid that area if at all possible. There is no word yet on injuries.”

  After about ten minutes, the phone started to ring again. Kevin picked up the receiver and listened to the woman in astonishment.

  “Where? I’m on my way. Kayla! Kayla! Get your shoes and leave a note for Donnell, your dumb ass mother has been in an accident,” he said as he slammed the receiver down and put the glass on the counter.

  Kayla started asking questions when she reached the kitchen.

  “Look, just get your damn shoes and let’s go!” Kevin got a shirt from the closet and pulled on his Jordan shoes.

  He grabbed his keys and a bottle of water from the refrigerator and headed out the door. Kevin got into his Navigator and hit the On Star button.

  “Cheryl’s parents” he spoke.

  “Dialing.”

  “Mom, hey, yeah, ah, Cheryl was in an accident and they have flown her to the hospital. Washington Hospital Center. Yeah, I’m on my way now.”

  He ended that call and again hit On Star.

  “Dee.”

  “Dialing.”

  “Dee, Cheryl is heading to the hospital. What! Look! I don’t have time for this shit; just get to Washington Hospital Center.”

  Another call.

  “Black.”

  “Dialing.”

  “Black, meet me at Washington Hospital Center.”

  “Dad, is mom going to be okay?” Kayla said with her arms crossed.

  “She better be,” He answered her.

  “Did you do it?” she asked.

  “Do what?”

  “Did you beat her up again?” She said while staring at her dad.

  “What? Look you better watch your tone with me young lady,” Kevin said while looking at her and trying to maneuver around the traffic.

  “Well, you didn’t answer the question,” She said and turned towards the window.

  Kevin went to grab her arm and she snatched away from him and moved closer to the door. If the door wasn’t closed, she would have surely fallen out of it.

  Kayla and Kevin walked in through the emergency room entrance and went to the receiving desk.

  “My wife was brought here.” He said to the nurse.

  “Name?” She asked without even looking up from the desk.

  “Cheryl Goldman.” She turned to the computer and typed.

  “Come with me,” she said, while standing.

  As they were walking towards the back, her parents arrived with Mrs. Bookman looking annoyed.

  “Is she alright? Where is she? What happened?” Mr. Bookman asked.

  “I don’t know anything yet, I just got here.”

  The nurse directed him to the back sitting area.

  “Wait here. The doctor will be here shortly.”

  After a few minutes, a nurse approached.

  “Mr. Goldman?”

&
nbsp; “Yes.”

  “Come with me.” The nurse took him to another part of the hospital. They finally came to a corner room and she told him to sit and wait.

  “Look, you need to tell me something. I have been waiting for almost thirty minutes,” he said with attitude.

  “Sir, the doctor will be with you shortly,” the nurse said with a little more attitude than he cared for. She closed the door as he was still asking for an explanation. Twenty more minutes had passed and finally the door opened and a doctor entered. Kevin rose.

  “Have a seat.” He said while pointing to the chair on the other side of the desk.

  “After you tell me what the fuck is going on!”

  The doctor sat down behind his desk.

  “Yelling is not helping your wife, nor is being rude to the staff. Now, have a seat and I will explain a few things to you. Your wife is in critical but stable condition. She is unconscious but responsive. We are having a little problem stopping the bleeding that she has in her kidney. There is a small tear and she has a severe hematoma on her forehead and we want to keep…”

  Kevin interrupted him, “Look, without going into all the medical jargon just tell me what the hell happened to my wife.”

  “In simple terms, it is hard to treat your wife because we first have to determine what she took. Does your wife do drugs, prescription or otherwise?”

  “What in the hell are you asking me for?” Kevin shouted as he stood up from his chair.

  “Again, there is no need for you to be rude,” The doctor said.

  “What? Are you kidding me? You are seriously asking me if my wife took some kind of illegal drugs,” Kevin said.

  “Yes,” the doctor said while tenting his hands in front of his face.

  “I think you better watch yourself doctor. That is none of your business!”

  “Well, since you seem to be saying no, then there is only one thing I can conclude. I believe your wife tried to commit suicide. That is the only explanation. Your wife had morphine in her system. Now unless you tell me that she had back pain or some other surgery or ailment, there would be no reason for her to take that kind of medication.”