It was important that Jody understood why he wanted to be able to have more control over himself. The better he understood what triggered his outbursts and why those outbursts had negative results, the harder he would want to work to change that behavior.
“I know I have some control issues. Well, control isn’t really the right word. Lacey can do anything she wants; I don’t care. But if another man disrespects her and I see it, I lose it. I don’t know what it is. Is it jealousy? It seems like so much more than that.”
“Okay,” Zoe said. “I can certainly understand you not wanting her to be disrespected, but why couldn’t you just tell the offender that he shouldn’t disrespect her? Why do you go to the extreme of threatening physical retribution?” Zoe wanted Jody to come up with the same conclusion she had.
“I don’t know. It just seems like the fastest way to end it. I’m big, and I can hurt people. They see that, and they back off. Problem solved. Is that really so bad?” Jody battled with this issue before. He knew that other people didn’t fly off the handle like he did, but why was it such a big deal? The results were the same.
Zoe asked him, “Have you ever tried to just tell someone that they were doing something that you didn’t like, as opposed to threatening them?” She wanted to keep pushing this point home. Jody always resorted to violence to end situations.
He was getting slightly agitated with her questions. It was like she was asking the same damn question but in different ways. Didn’t he already answer her? “Come on Doc, I already answered that. I don’t know why. It’s just always been that way. Where I grew up, you didn’t talk to people. You either hit them first, or they fucking owned you. I didn’t grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth.” He knew that last comment was uncalled for. Vlad had told him that Zoe was a trust fund baby. Her parents were rich and had died way too young.
Jody shook his head and looked at Zoe. “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
Zoe had a small smile on her face. “Jody, I told you, you will not offend me. Now, let me see if I can shed some light on this.” Jody was definitely paying attention to her now. “You grew up in a situation that was not ideal for a child. You learned the hard way that you had to be tough. As you grew up, that lesson stayed with you and actually carried over into your career. I’m thinking, and please correct me if I’m wrong, that you had a lot of responsibility for your family growing up. You were taught to attack first and question later.”
Jody had never thought of it that way. “I can agree with that, but I still don’t understand what the problem is. Isn’t it as simple as people knowing that they can’t fuck with me?”
“Well,” Zoe said, “that sounds like a simple notion, but life is not simple. Lacey doesn’t need your protection at every point in her life. You have to learn to let people take care of themselves. You don’t have to do it all anymore. Lacey, and the other people you feel so strongly about, can do much more for themselves than you give them credit for. You have to let them. They are not your responsibility, unless they ask for your help.”
“I guess I understand what you’re saying, but my way is quicker and easier.”
“Yes Jody, it is quicker but easier? How will you feel if Lacey doesn’t want to see you anymore because of your behavior? While it’s commendable that you like to protect people, people don’t like to have their choices taken away. That is what you are doing when you swoop in and use your aggression to diffuse a situation. And you wind up pushing the people you’re trying to protect away.”
“Okay. I’ll think about what you’ve said. But I don’t know how to stop doing it. Is there a quick fix?” Jody looked so hopeful.
“No, I’m sorry. There’s no quick fix, but the first step is being aware of it. The next time this happens (and with Steven back, it may be soon, Zoe thought), I want you to do nothing for a full ten seconds. Nothing. Just count to ten. I know it sounds like something a child is told to do, but you’d be surprised how much ten seconds of doing nothing can actually make you think of other alternatives. It won’t be fixed overnight, but you have to start somewhere, okay?”
Jody took a deep breath. “Ok, I’ll try it. I’ll really try.” He got up and made his way out the door. Just as he was leaving, Zoe grabbed his arm.
“Jody? Have a great time tonight.”
Breaking out into his crooked grin, he said, “Thanks. I think it’s going to be one of the better nights of my life.” He winked at her and left.
When Lacey got home, she made an untimely discovery and ran into Zoe’s office. “Zoe! Oh my God, this is the worst day ever.” Knowing that she was being overly dramatic, she none the less flung herself into the chair across from Zoe and put her head in her hands.
With a concerned expression, Zoe asked, “What happened now?”
“I got my freaking period. It’s not fair. First I have to deal with Steven and now this. I was so planning on letting Jody get in my pants tonight.” Lacey slumped down in the chair in total defeat.
Zoe couldn’t help the smile that broke out. It wasn’t truly funny but it kind of was. “Just think of it as an opportunity Lacey. You guys will be so hot and bothered when the weekend comes, you’ll probably have the best sex you’ve ever had in your life.” Zoe walked over to her and patted her on the head. “Suck it up Buttercup. Just enjoy being with him tonight, and think of all the ways you’ll enjoy being with him this weekend when your little friend is gone.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Lacey pushed herself up and out of the chair. “I’m gonna go take some Advil and get a quick shower. I guess it would be inappropriate to wear sweats and a baggy t-shirt tonight, right?” Lacey left Zoe’s office and went up the stairs to get ready.
When she got out of the shower, she felt a little better. Now she needed some chocolate. Chocolate helped in those situations. She even used her chocolate mint scented soap. When she had bought it, she wasn’t at all sure if she would like it but it smelled surprisingly good. It wasn’t overpowering as she had feared it might be. The mint toned down the chocolate smell and made it a warm, homey sort of scent. It was comforting, and that’s why Lacey picked it that night. She was feeling kind of blah and a little depressed, so comforting was the way to go.
Instead of wearing the sweats and baggy t-shirt that she wanted to wear, she dressed in skinny jeans, a long, salmon colored button down blouse, and sandals. She was pleased to see that her pedicure still looked fresh. Her hair was left down with fat curls made with the biggest curling iron she had. They wouldn’t last long, but they still added a little something extra.
Zoe was sitting on the couch watching TV when Lacey went downstairs. “You look great Lacey. That blouse is pretty on you. And I love the curls in your hair. But you know you’ll lose them as soon as you walk out the door, right?” That was another thing Zoe had. Great hair. She had one of those pixie cuts that kind of stood up all over the place. Lacey’s hair was a nice color and it was shiny but had zero curl.
At the knock on the door, Lacey smiled. All issues aside, she was looking forward to her date. When Lacey answered the door, Jody presented her with more flowers and a box of chocolate. Chocolate! She would marry that man right then and there if he asked. When Zoe saw the chocolate she told Jody he had just hit the jackpot in first date successes.
Lacey laughed. “Thank you, Jody. The flowers are perfect, but the chocolate is my savior tonight. Do you mind if we take it with us?”
He thought she was adorable. Women and chocolate; hell, he’d buy her chocolate every day for the rest of her life if it would keep that look on her face. Looking her up and down he told her how great she looked but added, “You need to bring some sneakers and socks though, okay?”
Lacey said, “Hmmm, sneakers, huh? Sure. Give me one sec-I’ll be right back.” Oh my God. Is it possible he looks even hotter tonight? Jody had on snug black jeans and one of those workout kinds of t-shirts in grey. Those shirts showed every muscle that was underneath. She loved the way the sleeves hugged
his biceps. Wow. She couldn’t wait until she could explore all of those muscles! She’d start with her hands and follow with her lips and teeth. She wanted to nibble on him in the worst way. Of course that wasn’t on the table anymore; not that night anyway.
With Lacey out of the room, Zoe asked him what his big plans were. He wouldn’t tell her, afraid that Lacey might overhear. He did, however, tell Zoe not to worry if Lacey was very late coming home. Zoe laughed, knowing that the end of the night was not going to go the way he wanted it to. She felt bad for him … no, really, she did. Ok, maybe not. She found it sadistically comical.
Lacey came back down with her sneakers in hand. Smiling at Jody, she told him she was ready. While Lacey was upstairs, Zoe had suggested that Jody feed Lacey one of the chocolates when she came back down. She let him and sighed in pure ecstasy. He felt like he’d just hung the moon for her. He even got a kiss on the cheek for his effort. What a great way to start a date.
Jody grabbed Lacey’s sneakers and the box of chocolates and said goodnight to Zoe. “You kids have fun,” she replied.
“Lace. I have something I need to say.” Lacey wondered if she wanted to hear it. Was he going to make her day even worse than it was? What did he do? Oh God, was he going to tell her that he thought they wouldn’t work? She was just starting to warm up to the idea of throwing caution to the wind and giving love another chance. Or at least like. Really, truly like.
“Okay …”
“Well, I’ve spent a lot of hours planning this, and I want it to be perfect. The thing is, as you’ve pointed out before, I tend to steamroll over people. So I want you to tell me if I move too fast or you don’t like something or …” He knew he was rambling. “Oh hell, Lace. I’m not good with words. Too many hits to the head I guess. I just need to know if anything displeases you. I’ll fix it.”
Lacey hated it when Jody insinuated that he was damaged in the head. He was a great guy, and his actions showed his feelings. She didn’t need flowery speeches. Why did men always think they had to be eloquent speakers to be smart and good and loved? Err … liked. Yes, liked. She certainly wasn’t in love with him.
“Jody, just relax, and have a good time. I don’t need perfect, in fact I prefer imperfect. Perfect scares me. Nothing is perfect. I’m just happy to spend time with you. Now, take me away.” She finished her commentary by spinning around in a circle with her hands held up at her sides, with the sun shining on her face. She was such a sweet thing. He wanted to sweep her off her feet.
They pulled into the parking lot at the end of the beach, and Lacey saw the horse trailer. She didn’t know they let horses on the beach. Jody told her to sit tight and got out of the truck. After talking to the older gentleman who drove the trailer, he ran back to her door. He opened the back door and grabbed her sneakers. “Put these on, please.” She did as he requested and got out of the truck.
Jody led her over to the trailer, which now had two horses tethered to it. “Lacey, this is Jim. He owns the horses that we’ll be riding on the beach.”
Lacey looked uncomfortable. “Nice to meet you Jim, could you excuse us for just a second?” Pulling Jody over to the side she said, “Jody, I think it is so sweet and romantic that you thought of this. But here’s the thing. And remember – you told me you wanted my honesty.” Jody was a bit bewildered, but didn’t interrupt. “I don’t believe in those horse rental places. Horses shouldn’t be rented out to a hundred different people every day and made to work. It’s just not fair. I’m sorry.”
Jim couldn’t help overhearing. “Excuse me, little lady. Thank you for feeling the way you do about horses. I couldn’t agree with you more. I guess Jody didn’t have a chance to tell you yet, but I’m a friend of Ian’s. I don’t rent out horses. These two beauties are my own, and I agreed to let Jody borrow them. I purposely didn’t exercise them this evening, but if you don’t want to ride them, I can have a couple of my ranch hands exercise them when I get home. I can assure you, however, that my animals are all treated with respect.” With a slightly guilty smile, he added, “My wife says I treat them better than her. She thinks they’re spoiled.”
Lacey decided right then that she loved this man. “Well, in that case, thank you Jim. I can assure you that we’ll take great care of them. I’m sorry if I offended you.”
“Not at all. I wish everyone had that kind of respect for animals. Now, come on over, and I’ll introduce you.”
Jody could tell that it was love at first sight for Lacey. He decided right then and there that when they were married, he’d buy her a ranch, and horses, and any other critters that came along who needed a home. Maybe he was jumping the gun, but like Ian said, ‘Go big or go home.’
Lacey’s mare was named Daisy. She was a paint; mostly brown in color with a couple of white spots on her. One eye had a white spot around it, and the other had a brown spot around it. As soon as Lacey ran her fingers through her forelock, Daisy put her whole head against her chest. She was absolutely in love.
Jody’s horse was a bit more spirited, but sweet all the same. He had a gelding named Chester. He took a nip at Jody, but followed it up with an affectionate head butt to his shoulder. Jim told him that Chester liked to pretend he was a tough guy, even though he was really a big old softy. Sounded like someone else Lacey knew. It was an ideal pairing.
Jody stood by Lacey’s horse to help her up. He didn’t do it by offering his interlocked hands to boost her up by her foot. Oh no. When she put her foot in the stirrup, he put his hands on her bottom and gave her a little push. He’d use any excuse to put his hands on her.
It was a perfect time for a ride on the beach. The sun was just starting to set, and they watched it slip into the ocean from atop their horses. There were a couple of low lying clouds, and when the sun hit them, streaks of light and shadow appeared. As it sunk even lower, the sky turned several different hues of red. Yes, Jody thought, I couldn’t have asked for a better sunset.
Right before the last rays of sunshine were gone, Jody looked at Lacey and sighed heavily. “I wish you could see how beautiful you look right now, Lace. With the last bit of sunshine still shining on your hair, you look like you could be an angel.” For Christ’s sake, what an ass. Did he really just sigh and tell her she looked like an angel? He was going to have to turn in his man card.
Shaking her head with a smile, she said, “I thought you said you weren’t good with words. That might be the most romantic thing anyone’s ever said to me.” Lacey couldn’t dream up a better first date. Jody had put a lot of thought into what she would enjoy. Men didn’t always do that. Most of her first dates had been the typical dinner and a movie. Who wanted to go to a movie on a first date? Speaking was frowned upon, and wasn’t the point of dating to get to know someone?
While Daisy and Chester moseyed along at a leisurely pace, Lacey and Jody chatted about their days and made other small talk. There were several stretches of silence, but they weren’t uncomfortable at all. After about an hour, they led the horses back to the trailer. Jim was already waiting for them.
“How were Daisy and Chester?”
Lacey answered for them. “They were wonderful. Thank you so much for trusting us with them.” Lacey figured Ian must be a pretty good friend to Jim, because she could tell how much he loved those horses.
“You’re welcome. It wasn’t so hard after you questioned my care of them.” There was entirely too much animal abuse going on, and too many people who turned a blind eye to it. Jim did a lot of work with horse rescue organizations to find homes for abused horses. “You’re welcome to exercise them anytime.”
Jody walked over and shook his hand. “Thanks Jim, I appreciate it. We enjoyed the horses. Can I help you load them back onto the trailer?” Jim was getting on in years, and even though Jody knew he could handle them as easily as breathing, he was taught to respect his elders and offer help when he could.
“No. I could do that in my sleep – especially with these two. You two go finish your date. I r
emember what it was like to be your age with a new honey.” Jim patted Jody on the back and walked off to load the horses.
Jody led Lacey over to a bench and told her to have a seat. He wanted to get their picnic things out of the truck. Without conscious thought, he leaned down and kissed her. It was just a quick kiss, but it got his blood going all the same. He leaned in again as he caught her scent. That was the first time he had noticed it that night. She smelled like chocolate – minty chocolate to be exact. It made him picture them wrapped in a blanket in front of a roaring fire watching snow falling outside through a picture window. She smelled like home. Sometimes he missed the snow. “You smell great, as usual.” He smiled and walked over to the truck.
Lacey could see a picnic basket on Jody’s arm as he walked back toward her. She was intrigued. “What’s in the basket?”
Jody sat the basket down as he replied, “A little romance and hopefully a little seduction. Lace, I want to be honest with you. I want you to spend the night with me, but if you’re not ready, I can wait. I don’t want you to feel any pressure; I already know that you’re worth the wait.”
Lacey wanted to cry. She really didn’t want to have this conversation with him, but she wanted him to know that she would have loved to stay the night with him if she could have. Against her wishes (chalk it up to hormones), her eyes got watery when she looked at him. “Oh Jody. I want to but it’s, um, bad timing.”
Disappointed, Jody said, “It’s okay. I’m willing to wait until you’re ready. I don’t want to rush you.”
Oh God, he thinks I’m rejecting him. “No Jody, it’s not that …”
Taking her hand, he said, “Hey, it’s okay, really. It’s fine. I understand.”
“No, you truly don’t,” Lacey was going to have to blurt it out. “I got my period today. I’m sorry.” To her horror, a tear slipped out. She was not a crier, but as every woman knows, at that time of the month, anything can happen.
The Enforcer (NHL Scorpions) Page 13