‘Hey Eric, you’re not in the way,’ I said, bending down on my haunches beside him. ‘You’re in prime position to direct operations from the hub of the pub.’ I gave the rocking chair a gentle nudge. ‘Me, Dan and the other bar staff have got it all covered. Really, there’s nothing for you to worry about. And at least you’re here to tell us where we’re going wrong.’
‘I suppose, but you know me. I don’t like sitting around with nothing to do.’
‘I know it must be difficult but honestly these next few months will pass in next to no time. You’ll look back on this period and laugh. Really you will.’
Eric raised his eyebrows, looking doubtful.
He’d been putting on a brave face, but I knew Josie was worried about his state of mind. When I’d popped round to see her to meet her lovely little baby she’d asked me to keep a close eye on him.
‘This is a setback he could have done without, Ellie. What with the uncertainty about the pub and if he’ll still have a job and a place to live in a couple of months’ time, I know he’s been feeling really out of sorts. I just hope this doesn’t drag him down further. He doesn’t confide in me as much as he used to, I don’t think he wants to worry me now I have the baby to look after.’
‘He’ll be fine. He’s got a lot of people looking out for him, people who love and care for him. And besides, he has this little lady in his life now.’
I took Stella from her Mum’s arms and cradled her in my own, lifting her up to kiss her tiny cute nose. Her milky sweet scent was delicious and gave me a lovely warm fuzzy feeling inside.
‘You are the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen,’ I whispered into her ear.
Josie laughed. ‘I think so too, but then I’m probably biased.’
Happiness and weariness radiated from every pore of Josie’s body, and I was so delighted to be able to share in my friend’s joy.
‘You really are very clever to have produced this amazing little thing. Well, you and Ethan too, but obviously you did the most important bit. Let me know when you need me to babysit and I’ll be straight round.’
I stroked Stella’s wispy hair around her perfect head, wondering if that strange sensation stirring in my stomach could be mistaken for something like broodiness. Babies had never featured in my plans and yet now, transfixed by the newborn in my arms, something stirred deep down inside me. How very odd. I quickly banished the thought and handed the baby back to her Mum.
‘Dad’s coming round for Sunday lunch and when we get back to some kind of normality…’ Josie snorted as if she couldn’t quite believe that would ever happen again, ‘…then I’ll be popping in to see him regularly, but can you just keep an eye on him for me in the meantime when you’re down at the pub.’
‘Of course I will,’ I said, kissing Josie and then her baby on the cheek. ‘Don’t worry about a thing. You’ve got your hands full with this little one here. I’ll keep a close eye on your dad and if I’m worried at all, I’ll let you know.’
‘Thanks Ellie, you’re a star, do you know that? It’s been lovely having you back in Little Leyton. You’ve been such a great support, not only to Dad and me, but to everyone. Not sure what we’d all do without you. And no, you can’t leave now, even if you want to. Now we’ve got you back in the village, we’re never going to let you go again.’
I’d laughed, and gave my two favourite girls a big hug. ‘Well I’m not planning on going anywhere just yet.’
Now, in the hubbub of the pub, remembering Josie’s kind words brought a warm smile of contentment to my face. Not that I’d done anything special. This was my home, the place I knew best. I was amongst friends, people I’d known for years. It was only natural that I’d want to help them. I looked at Eric who was sporting his best disgruntled expression.
‘The thing that upsets me most is that I won’t be able to make our trip. I know how much it means to you girls to deliver these donations to the people who need them most and now I won’t be able to come. I’ve let you down.’
‘Of course you haven’t let us down. It was an accident.’ I pulled out a stool next to Eric and parked my bum. ‘You didn’t do it on purpose, or at least I hope you didn’t. I mean, if you really wanted to get out of a trip to the continent with me then you only needed to say so.’
Eric gave a rueful smile.
I’d been trying to lighten the tone, but judging by his expression I wasn’t sure I’d succeeded. To be honest, with the drama of the last week I hadn’t given a second thought to our forthcoming trip, but Eric had reminded me it was less than a week away now with everything booked and paid for. I really didn’t want to be driving all the way to France on my own, but if I had to then I would.
‘Don’t worry, we’ll sort something out,’ I said breezily, sounding more confident than I felt.
‘Shall I see if I can arrange something? Dave Roberts has his own transport company – I’m sure he’d be happy to send one of his men over there if I ask him to.’
‘No way. There’s no reason why I can’t still go. I know Josie would want to go if she could so I’ll go instead as a one-woman representative of The Dog and Duck.’ I waved my non-existent flag in the air.
‘You can’t go on your own, love. I wouldn’t be happy about that.’
I sometimes felt that in my parents’ absence Eric had taken on the role of being my surrogate father a little too seriously.
‘Honestly, Eric, I’ve backpacked alone in the Far East, a little jaunt to France really isn’t going to trouble me.’
He shook his head gravely. ‘No, if anything should happen to you, I’d never forgive myself. Perhaps I could come with you after all, we’ve still got a week to go – the pain might have settled a bit by then.’
‘Absolutely not. Sorry, Eric, but I don’t want you coming with me like this. You’d be a…’ I stopped, but it was too late, my foot was firmly engaged in my mouth.
‘…a liability? I know.’
We’d reached an impasse and I still wasn’t sure how to get out of it. The crowd around us had been engaged in their own conversations, oblivious to ours. I looked across at Johnny who was giggling with Polly.
‘Hey, Johnny,’ I called, hit by a sudden brainwave. My words cut through the noisy babble and everyone fell silent to listen to what I was about to say. ‘What are you doing next weekend?’
Johnny gave a tilt of his head, his oh-so familiar cheeky twinkle shining in his eyes.
‘Fancy coming with me across to France to drop off the donations? I need a co-driver.’
A million emotions spread across Johnny’s face in that instant, I recognized a few of them: horror, surprise, shock and confusion. Quickly, he covered up his feelings with a shrug and a warm smile.
‘Sorry Ells, I’ve got a big job on next weekend. A new client. I won’t be able to get out of it.’
‘Ah, never mind, it was only an idea.’
A stupid idea admittedly. What had ever possessed me to ask Johnny? Mind you, a few weeks ago he was proposing the idea himself, albeit in a somewhat different guise to a charity trip. If I was being honest, I’d been surprised at how readily he’d backed away from our relationship. Part of me had expected him to put up more of a fight, to try and persuade me to give him another chance, but he hadn’t. Which was just as well probably. It would be all too easy to fall into our old patterns if we were thrown together over a long weekend. No, definitely not one of my better ideas.
‘I wish I could come and help,’ said Polly, ‘but I can’t leave the shop at such short notice.’ She shrugged. Sitting with Johnny, they both managed to look sheepishly apologetic.
‘No, don’t worry about it,’ I said, waving my hands care-freely trying to ignore the small knot of concern building in my stomach.
Dan sidled up beside me, and placed a hand around my waist. ‘You know I’d help you out if I could, but I’m probably better off staying here, supervising this place.’
‘Thanks for the thought, Dan, but as you can’t d
rive I’m not sure you’d make the best co-driver,’ I said, laughing. ‘Don’t worry about it. I’m sure something will come up.’
‘Ellie?’ Through the hubbub I heard someone call my name, the deep smooth tones instantly recognizable, speaking to my insides in a way that I suspected wasn’t totally appropriate. I looked up to see Max appraising me from across the snug. I met his gaze with a smile, my eyelashes doing their own thing and fluttering involuntarily. What the hell? Cool, calm and collected – most definitely not.
‘Next weekend?’ he asked. ‘I can run you over there if you like.’
What? No! Who asked him anyway?
‘Oh no, don’t worry… there’s no need… I can…’
‘Would you, Max? That’d be great,’ said Eric, his mood immediately brightening.
‘What a good idea,’ said Johnny.
‘That’s so lovely of you to offer,’ said Polly, beaming.
I turned to Dan who lifted his palms to the air and shrugged as though it was a complete no-brainer.
I glared at them all. These people were supposed to be my friends.
‘Well only if Ellie’s okay with the idea obviously,’ Max said, filling the awkward silence.
I gulped, feeling my cheeks redden suddenly aware of everyone’s attention on me.
‘Of course, it’s just I don’t want to put you to any trouble. I’m sure you have much better things to be doing with your weekend.’
‘Absolutely not. And it’s no trouble at all.’ His gaze landed on mine, hovering for a lingering moment. ‘I’d love to help.’
What possible reason did I have to say no? I could hardly admit I had a growing infatuation for him that sent my whole insides spinning and had me acting like a teenage girl in his company. I needed to put my personal feelings to one side.
‘Perfect then,’ I said brightly, ‘that sounds like the ideal solution.’
Ten
Early the following Friday morning I met Max at the pub, and with the help of a couple of the locals who’d volunteered their services, we loaded up the van. Eric gave me a hug, banged the back of the van with his crutch and waved us off as we drove away on our mission.
Since Max had offered his services as my driver I’d given myself a stern talking-to. There was no need for me to feel awkward or apprehensive about being holed up in a van for two days with an admittedly drop-dead gorgeous man. It would be absolutely fine. As far as Max was concerned I was just a local girl who worked at the pub and who loved dogs – at least we had that one thing in common. If the conversation ever ran dry we would always have our canine friends to chat about, and besides, Max wasn’t to know I’d been harbouring all sorts of deliciously inappropriate thoughts about him. Thoughts that had intensified ever since I’d found out he would be accompanying me to France. In my other life, as an auditor, I’d been expected to present a professional demeanour on all occasions and for the sake of this trip I just needed to consider it as another business assignment and not a romantic getaway.
I quickly realized it was going to be easier said than done though when we hadn’t even ventured out of the village and the subtle scent of Max’s aftershave, rich with chocolatey musky undertones, was playing at my nostrils. Business head on, I focussed my gaze steadily on the passing view outside.
‘It’s really lovely of you to take time out of your busy schedule to do this, Max. There was a moment there, after Eric had his accident, that I thought I might be going it alone.’
‘Absolutely not a problem.’ I watched his hands as they tapped lightly on the steering wheel. Large strong capable hands that were clearly used to manual work – I liked that. Oh God, I really shouldn’t be fantasizing about his hands already!
‘I know how disappointed Eric was at having to miss the trip. He’s such a good guy and does so much for the community. I know if the shoe was on the other foot he would be the first person to volunteer his services.’
Of course. I knew I shouldn’t have read anything more into Max’s enthusiasm for accompanying me abroad. He was only helping out a good friend.
‘That’s true. He’s had some rotten luck lately. I really hope he doesn’t have to leave the pub. The place just wouldn’t be the same without him.’
‘Leave the pub?’ Max turned his head sharply to look at me. ‘Why would he need to do that?’
As soon as the words left my mouth I realized what I’d said. What had I been thinking? I grimaced, shrugging my shoulders.
‘Oh nothing’s sorted. It’s just that the tenancy on the pub is coming up for renewal and Eric thinks it might be sold to new buyers. If that happens, he’s not certain he’ll still have a job, or a home, come to that. The thing is, I’m not sure it’s common knowledge yet. I shouldn’t really have said anything. You’ll keep it to yourself for the time being, won’t you?’
‘My lips are sealed,’ he said, zipping them shut. He grew pensive for a moment. ‘Like you though, I’d be sad to see Eric leave the pub.’
One of the joys of living in Little Leyton was that if you let slip a tiny nugget of information you could guarantee it would be round the whole village in the space of a morning. I just hoped I could trust Max not to say anything. I certainly didn’t want Tim Weston getting hold of this nugget of information.
‘Must admit I’ve not done anything like this before,’ I said, eager now to change the subject. ‘The whole idea of us doing something to help the refugees just seemed to snowball once Josie and I started discussing it.’
‘Sometimes it’s good to step outside of your normal daily routine and do something different once in a while.’ He turned his profile to look at me, an easy smile lighting up his face. ‘But then you’d know all about that.’
‘Yep,’ I nodded. My life and working routine had been turned on its head these last few months. ‘Despite your best plans, life has a habit of throwing you a few curveballs every now and then, just to keep you on your toes. I could never have imagined coming back to Little Leyton to work, but I have and so far I don’t regret a thing.’
‘That’s the best way. Life’s too short to harbour regrets.’
I couldn’t imagine Max being the type of person to have regrets or second thoughts about anything. He was confident, self-assured and go-getting. Just the sort of personality I was attracted to and just the sort of person you needed as a chauffeur. I smiled, my gaze flittering over the strong lines of his profile as he concentrated on the road ahead. Definitely, I was in very safe hands. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back on the headrest.
*
When we arrived in France later that day it was only a short drive to the area where the makeshift camps that we’d seen in the press had sprung up. Although no amount of photos could have prepared us for the rambling desolation of these sprawling new villages. There was a high security presence and the razor-wire fencing surrounding the camp only added to the feeling of gloom and despair. Rows and rows of small tents dotting the muddy ground merged into a messy blur into the distance. We were directed to an area where we were told we could unload all our black bags.
Climbing out of the van, my feet landed deep in a boggy patch, splattering my jeans with mud, and I glanced around to see the whole site was in the same state, one huge waterlogged swamp. Above me, dark clouds loomed ominously, matching the grey desolation of our surroundings. I shivered, and wrapped my arms around my chest.
‘These are always very welcome.’ Zak, one of the guys handling the distribution of the aid donations, was going through our bags and pulled out a pile of woolly blankets. ‘Although the days are getting warmer, the temperature drops significantly here at night so these will come in very useful, thanks.’
‘Are there many women and children here?’ I asked, my gaze flittering over his shoulder to a milling crowd of men.
‘The majority of the people here are young men, but there is still a significant proportion of women. Those tents over there’ – he pointed at a collection of threadbare tents flapping bra
vely in the wind – ‘are for families.’
My heart broke at the thought of families with young children having to live in these conditions.
After we’d unloaded all the bags, and with Max deep in conversation with Zak, I took the opportunity to wander off towards the tent Zak had pointed out. Josie and I had put together some small personal kits filled with soap, a flannel, a toothbrush, toothpaste, sanitary items for the women, and shaving gear for the men. I wanted to be able to return to Little Leyton and tell Josie that the items so generously donated by the community had reached the people we’d intended them for. A plume of smoke from a small campfire and the sound of music coming from a tinny radio greeted my arrival.
‘Hello.’
A young woman dressed in navy tracksuit bottoms and matching hoodie, rocking from foot to foot, a baby at her hip, looked at me warily.
‘Hi,’ I said, more brightly this time. ‘My name’s Ellie. I’ve just come over from the UK today with my friend.’ I swept my head in the direction of Max. ‘We brought some supplies. Blankets, clothes, that sort of thing. I just wanted to come and say hello.’
She gave a small nod of her head in understanding.
‘What’s your name?’ I asked.
‘Ima,’ she said softly.
‘And what about your baby?’
I couldn't help but think of Josie and Stella. What if it was them standing here instead?
‘Samir.’ A hint of a smile played at the woman’s lips as she said her child’s name.
‘He’s gorgeous. How old is he?’
‘Six months.’
She bounced him on her hip as his little fingers played with Ima’s long dark hair. He had the same big brown eyes as his Mum which were appraising me in a similar distrustful fashion.
‘Have you been here long?’ I asked.
‘About one month.’
‘Look…’ I rifled through the big holdall I carried over my shoulder. ‘Can you use this?’ I pulled out one of the packs of toiletries we’d prepared. ‘It’s only a few things but they might come in helpful.’
Christmas at the Dog & Duck Page 8