‘Ellie! Don’t be like that. I didn’t mean anything by it. And I certainly don’t think you’re helpless. Quite the opposite in fact.’ He paused, frustration evident in his tone. ‘It was just one friend looking out for another. Is that such a bad thing?’
I gave Max a sideways glance. He’d shrugged on a big brown moleskin coat, the curl of his hair reaching his upturned collar. He towered over me and I half wished to grab his arm and snuggle up into the warmth of his lovely coat. Instead I shivered beneath my thin pink fleece, attempting not to show Max that I was in the least bit cold.
‘No, but really you have no need to worry on my account. I’m perfectly capable of looking after myself.’
‘I don’t doubt it. Come on, Ellie, give me a break. I wanted to talk to you actually.’
‘Oh yes?’ I said, unable to hide the sarcasm from my voice.
Well why should I make this easy for him? He’d seriously annoyed me tonight. What gave him the right to think he could interfere in my life?
Still, whether I wanted him to or not, Max was walking alongside me. That was up to him. It wasn’t hugely out of his way, and besides, I’d be home within a matter of minutes. Whatever Max had to say to me he’d better make it quick.
‘Look sorry about earlier.’ He dug his hands deep into his pockets. ‘That incident with that other guy. Clearly I’m not cut out for a career in the hospitality business.’
With my arms folded, I was determined not to look at Max, although I was aware of his gaze on my face as we walked along the High Street. When he failed to get my attention, he turned around, making backwards running movements beside me so that I had no choice but to look into his face.
‘Come on, Ellie, won’t you forgive me?’ he pleaded.
It was hard to stay cross with Max for long. He had an unerring knack of inveigling his way beneath my skin, making me feel warm, protected, safe.
‘Hmm, I suppose,’ I said reluctantly.
He laughed and turned round again, grabbing hold of my hand. ‘Crikey, you’re freezing. Do you want my coat?’
‘No, I’m fine…’
Before I could finish my sentence he’d whipped off his coat and wrapped it around my shoulders, the immediate warmth it provided sending a shiver down my spine.
‘You’ll get cold now,’ I protested.
‘Don’t worry. I don’t really feel the cold.’ He grabbed my arm and linked it through his, as though it was the most natural thing in the world. ‘So, what’s this I hear about a new boyfriend?’
‘Sorry?’ I said, being deliberately evasive.
‘That guy in the pub had great delight in telling me you had a big burly boyfriend. He sounds delightful.’ There was no mistaking the humour in his voice. ‘When do we get to meet him?’
I shrugged and walked on with more purpose now, still determined not to look Max in the eye. ‘I’m not sure that is any of your business. Actually.’
‘Come on, Ellie. Don’t give me a hard time. I like you. Care about you. I’m interested, that’s all.’
God, he had a cheek. Interested to know all the details about my personal life, but reluctant to tell me anything about his. ‘Well to be honest with you, there isn’t a lot to tell.’
‘But this boyfriend…? Go on. What’s his name? Where d’you meet him?’
I stopped, unlinked my arm from his and turned to look at him, open-mouthed at his arrogance. ‘Well if you must know, there isn’t a boyfriend. I made him up. Comes in handy when dealing with persistent customers who won’t take no for an answer. Works every time, especially when I explain he’s a 6 foot 4 rugby player who’s the possessive, controlling type.’
‘Ah, I see.’ Max pursed his lips together as if pondering on that. ‘Is that the type you’d go for then? Someone sporty, beefy?’
Max, clearly amused, couldn’t help a smile from spreading across his face.
‘That’s really none of your business either, is it?’ I said, riled. ‘You stand here wanting to know all about my personal life, but what about you Max? You’re a closed book. I’d go so far as to say secretive even. You never told me about your girlfriend.’ The silence that fell between us crackled with tension. ‘I only found out about her when I turned up at your house with Amber. It was embarrassing! She clearly knew all about me and yet I didn’t even know she existed. You might have thought to tell me.’
I stalked off, not caring if he chose to follow me or not, only relieved that I’d finally got what I wanted to say off my chest. It had been eating me up for ages.
I hoped he would just go home now and leave me alone with my moral superiority intact. Only it dawned on me as I waltzed away that I was still wearing his coat. He might be glad to see the back of me, but I suspected he wouldn’t feel the same way about his expensive jacket.
In a moment, Max was at my side again, holding up his hands to me in a gesture of defeat. ‘Okay, I’m sorry. I should have told you. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about actually. Can I come in? We should discuss this.’
We were standing at the gate to my house and I shrugged off the coat, returning it into Max’s arms. The cold night air whipped around me, making my skin bristle with goosebumps. It wasn’t the time to be loitering outside.
‘There’s absolutely no need to explain. Your personal life is exactly that. As is mine. Perhaps it’s best if we keep it that way. Goodnight Max.’
‘Please Ellie.’ He touched my arm. ‘Let’s be friends. Give me fifteen minutes of your time. Let me explain. And then if you still think I’m an arsehole – it’s okay I can see it in your eyes – then I promise you I’ll leave you alone and we can pretend we never even had this conversation.’
Twenty
Well, what was I expected to do? I’d already admitted that I found Max hard to resist, and to be honest my curiosity had got the better of me. What was it that he might tell me? Part of me wasn’t sure I wanted to put myself through the agony of hearing all about his lovely girlfriend and yet the other part was desperate to know all the details; how long had they been together, where did they meet, what did she do for a living, what was her bra size? He’d been quite content to tell me about Nadine, his long-lost French girlfriend, and while that had been interesting, she was very much in the history category. Sasha was much more fascinating to me, being in the here and now category, but what was stopping Max from being so forthcoming about her? He’d probably come up with some far-fetched excuse as to why he’d omitted to tell me about her in the first place, how it had conveniently slipped his mind and, if I was being truthful, I was looking forward to seeing him squirm.
Indoors, I warmed my hands against the Aga before putting on some milk to heat up for a hot chocolate while Max took up my offer of a glass of red wine. We took our drinks and sat on the squishy sofa next to the Aga. He’d positioned himself with his back against the end of the sofa, his legs gently splayed, his arm laying casually along the top of the cushion, looking directly at me. Eek. The gorgeous underwear model had put in a reappearance. My heart pitter-pattered. I curled my legs up beneath me and backed myself into my end of the sofa. There was nowhere for me to look, other than into the deep dark gaze of Max’s eyes. I gulped. Maybe this hadn’t been such a good idea after all. Inviting him into my home. My entire body prickled with anticipation. I couldn’t make up my mind if it was an enjoyable or terrifying sensation.
‘Great night, wasn’t it? At the pub?’ I said, eager to fill the simmering silence.
‘Oh yeah, Eric certainly knows how to put on a good “do”. Unfortunately, I didn’t get there till late, but I’m glad I caught the band. They were great.’
‘Yeah, brilliant,’ I gushed, sounding like an overexcited teenager. ‘Lovely to see Eric on such good form too – he really is the heart and soul of that place.’
‘Yep, and sounds as though things might work out at the pub for him after all.’
‘Hmmm, well I hope so, but we don’t really know what will happen yet.’
‘No, but we can be cautiously optimistic, I reckon. Always pays to be positive. No point in worrying about what might happen until we know for certain what the situation is.’
That was easy for him to say, it wasn’t his livelihood and home at risk. Eric could have his whole world upended in a matter of months, so he wouldn’t view it in the same way as Max. There was every chance I would be losing my job too. I stifled a sigh, trying to imagine what that might be like. It would be a real wrench to leave the pub. I’d miss seeing all my lovely customers every day, hearing all their news and keeping up with the village gossip. Aside from missing out on the social side of my job, necessity meant I would need to find another gig pretty quickly to make up the shortfall in my monthly income. But jobs, especially part-time ones, were hard to come by in the area. My best bet might be to expand my fledgling business with dog-training classes or agility groups. Both things I’d considered in the past – a couple of my doggy clients had already asked if I could provide these services – so maybe now was the time to consider it seriously. Or perhaps all of this was a sign from a higher celestial power telling me that I should go back to London after all. Do the job that I’d trained so long and hard for. Wasn’t that the sensible solution?
‘It isn’t always easy to be positive when you don’t know what the future holds,’ I said, putting my thoughts into words.
‘Quite the contrary. It can be exciting.’ He flung out his arm with a flourish. ‘Sometimes change is good for us. Helps us to grow as individuals.’
I raised my eyebrows doubtfully. ‘Hmm, are you a life coach or something in your spare time?’
‘No.’ Max laughed, his smile lighting up his face, reminding me, if I needed reminding, that I had an extremely good-looking and sexy man sitting only inches away from me. Breathe Ellie, I told myself. ‘Just trying to put a positive spin on things, that’s all.’
It was hardly surprising that Max had such an outlook. He was an entrepreneur; a property developer and a business man to boot, obviously extremely successful at what he did. Was it so easy to be positive if you were wondering if you would still have your job at the end of the month or if you’d be able to pay the rent? I doubted it somehow.
I stretched my hands above my head unable to stop a massive yawn from taking over my body. It had been a long day and the sofa was way too comfy. My eyes were heavy and those couple of beers and now the hot chocolate had provided the most delightful soporific effect. Max looked at me through narrowed eyes and picked up on my not-so suitable hint.
‘Look, I just wanted to clear the air between us. I know things have been a bit awkward ever since that trip to France and I’m guessing that’s mainly down to me, what happened in the hotel room.’ He raised his eyebrows, a smile resting on his lips.
Awkward? There was me thinking he’d been totally cool about the whole situation and I’d managed to keep my embarrassment and humiliation to myself. Obviously not. And now he’d hinted at that moment, that kiss, that nearly so much more moment. And all that humiliation was rearing its head again.
‘Look, I’m sorry too, but had I known you had a girlfriend, there was no way I would have allowed it to happen. Not that anything happened, but… that kiss thing, the smoochy business, I got the wrong idea, that was all.’
‘No, don’t apologize. It’s me who should be apologizing. I suppose it was a heat of the moment thing, we both got carried away and then, well, I thought of Sasha and…’ He shrugged, his voice trailing away. ‘I handled it badly.’
‘Yes, well I’m glad you remembered, just in time, eh?’
I had to be thankful that I wasn’t his poor girlfriend. I wondered if he made a habit of going round getting into intimate clinches with strange women and then suddenly, at the last moment, having an ‘oops’ moment and remembering he was already in a relationship. What was it Kirk had called him? Yep, he was definitely one of them.
Max had said his piece, regurgitated the whole sordid business and hopefully he felt much better for it. I wasn’t certain that I did, but at least he might leave me alone now safe in the knowledge that he had behaved honourably, right at the last minute. Only now he was looking incredibly at home on my sofa, showing no sign of making his exit, and judging by the expression on his face, finding something incredibly amusing.
‘What’s so funny?’
‘What you said? The kissing thing, the smoochy business, that’s been a bit of a problem for me, you see.’
I swallowed hard. He’d obviously been feeling much guiltier over Sasha than I’d thought. ‘A problem?’
‘Yeah, a really big problem.’ His gaze didn’t leave my eyes. ‘Has it not been a problem for you?’
‘No, no, not at all.’ For some reason my arms were doing their own thing and waving around in front of my face. ‘I mean it happened, obviously, and we can’t do anything to change that, but we’re both old enough and daft enough to put it down to experience. Just one of those things. How about we don’t say another word about it?’ I held a finger up to my lips.
‘But I can’t stop thinking about it. That’s the problem. All the time it’s there. Taunting me, reminding me.’
‘Oh…’ What was it he was trying to tell me?
There was a pause, a long lingering pause, full of hidden meaning, I suspected, although what that hidden meaning might be, I had no idea.
‘Sasha and I have finished.’
‘What!’ Whatever I’d been expecting it hadn’t been that. ‘You have?’
He nodded and I wasn’t sure if I should commiserate or congratulate him. Ignoring the fillip in my chest and putting my own feelings to one side, I remembered my manners and how lovely Sasha had been, and realized I should at least try to sound suitably sympathetic.
‘I’m sorry about that. Really sorry. Were you together long?’
‘About five years. On and off. Although it’s been very on and off for the last couple of years. Sasha’s a lovely girl. We met through work. She’s an interior designer, brilliant actually, and helped me out on a couple of my property developments.’ He paused for a moment, examining his fingertips, and I wondered if he might want to sign me up to the lovely Sasha’s fan club. ‘We have similar interests, mix in the same circles, so I think it was a natural progression for us to take our relationship to the next stage.’
‘Yeah,’ I nodded encouragingly, not entirely sure how I was supposed to react to this glowing character reference. Hang on… Perhaps I’d misheard him, maybe he hadn’t just told me they weren't together anymore. I was having difficulty keeping up with all this. Mind you, how any hot-blooded man could resist Sasha’s charms, I just didn’t know. With her long flowing hair, piercing blue eyes, clear fresh skin and willowy figure she could easily have a second career as a catwalk model.
‘But,’ Max carried on, leaving me musing over that thought, ‘Sasha would be the first to agree with me on this, there has always been something missing. For both of us. We stayed together out of convenience, because it suited us. When I went to London on business I would stay with her at her apartment and she would come and stay with me for long weekends. I don’t think either of us believed it would be a long-term arrangement or that we’d end up together for ever. I don’t know how your relationship with Johnny was, but Sasha and I, we’d fallen into a pattern of behaviour that was comfortable and safe. It sounds really bad to admit it now but nothing was going to change that until something came along to shake us out of our comfortable rut.’
‘Hmm, I guess it was a bit like that for Johnny and me.’ Funny though, I still harboured a few pangs of regret at finishing with him. I missed the closeness and familiarity that came from having someone special in my life, someone who looked out for me and put my happiness above their own. I knew that if I hadn’t said anything to Johnny we would still be together, but he’d moved on now – a bit too quickly for my liking if I was being honest – finding happiness with Polly.
‘It happened, Ellie. Something came along. Someth
ing big. And it shook me to the core.’
‘It did?’ I gulped, wondering where he was going with this. Suddenly the backs of my hands became utterly riveting.
‘Yes, why do you think I offered to go to France with you in the first place?’
I started playing with my plaits, taking off the bands and unravelling my hair. Probably not the best idea as I knew it would result in a crimped mess, but I was pleased to let my hair loose from their ties. Besides it gave me some thinking time. I ran my hands through the frizz and shook out the waves, all the time trying to make sense of what Max was telling me.
‘I thought you wanted to help out Eric.’
‘I did, that was a big part of it, but it was much more than that. I was attracted to you from the moment I met you that day in the lane. You must have realized?’ He paused, his gaze unwavering. I shook my head and swallowed hard, my cheeks tingling with a flush of colour. ‘The last thing I expected to come upon that day was this beautiful woman with long flowing hair wading about in my river. I thought I’d stumbled upon a water nymph.’ He chuckled to himself. ‘A water nymph who was having a bad day admittedly, but that only added to the impression you made upon me.’
A water nymph. That was a good thing, right? To be honest, I wasn't entirely sure. Part of me could quite believe all of this was some weird and wonderful dream.
‘I didn’t know what it was,’ Max went on, ‘something indefinable, a connection I found hard to ignore. Each occasion I saw you after that, it was there, an insistent probing that left me wanting to find out more about you.’
‘Really?’ It came out as a squeak, my voice having escaped me. My heart was doing a funny ‘slow, slow, quick quick slow’ manoeuvre inside my chest. I’d experienced similar sensations to the ones Max was describing. I’d put it down to wistful longing on my part, but I’d had to put those feelings to one side, especially when Max had made it perfectly clear he hadn’t wanted to take matters further.
Christmas at the Dog & Duck Page 16