“I was afraid you would say that, so I provided incentive. They didn’t have any cupcakes, but they did have chocolate cake. I got ice cream to go with it. You can start with dessert. At this point I don’t care what you eat, just as long as you eat something.” He gave her that Zarek charming smile, but it wasn’t working. Even looking at food that should be appealing, wasn’t.
“Chloe,” his voice was deeper. “You’ve lost weight, you had trouble walking up the stairs to get here. You have the strength of a baby bird. Is that the woman you want to be?”
He picked up a fork and grasped her hand and wrapped it around the utensil. “Are you going to eat, or do you want me to feed you?”
She went to cut off a piece of cake and saw her hand tremble. She tried to stop it, but she couldn’t. He was right, she was weak.
“Let me help you,” he said gently.
“I can do it myself,” she snapped.
Dammit, where had that come from? She didn’t want to let him get under her skin. That meant that she was feeling something. Feeling something was bad. She took a deep breath. “I mean, I’m fine, just give me a moment.”
He eyed her, then nodded. She took a bite of the cake, then grimaced. It was too rich. She continued to chew then swallowed. Oh God, was she going to throw up? Then it was like Zarek read her mind, because he handed her a frosty glass.
“It’s Seven-Up. It’ll settle your stomach.”
She took a big gulp. Then set down the glass and covered her mouth. She let out a belch, and she felt her face get red.
“Chloe, you can’t be embarrassed, that was the most ladylike burp in the history of mankind.” She turned away to look at the back of the couch. It wasn’t the burp, it was the fact that she was upset that she was weak, and now she was embarrassed. Zarek was making her feel. She wasn’t supposed do feel. She closed her eyes, and saw black, but tried to imagine the white of the sheet.
“Chloe, talk to me.”
Her stomach growled.
“You’re hungry, that’s good. Please eat something, if not for yourself, then for my peace of mind. You’re killing me.”
White, she needed to find the numbness of white.
“Chloe, you need to eat.” He was no longer cajoling or tempting. Now he sounded like a man used to being obeyed. All of it was grating on her last nerve. She tried to tune him out.
“Cupcake―”
“Don’t tell me what to do! I haven’t seen you in two years, you don’t get to barge in and try to take over,” she yelled the words into the back of the sofa.
“If you’re mad at me, you’re going to have to look at me.”
His tone was reasonable. It turned up the heat of her temper.
“No I don’t. See, quit bossing me around!” She whipped around to glare at him. “Zarek Andrew Post you are an asshole! You don’t understand a goddamn thing. You can’t waltz in here and think you know what’s best for me. I know what I need. I need to be left alone.”
“Being left alone isn’t cutting it. You need counseling. You need help.”
“If I needed help, you’d be the last fucking person on earth I’d run to, you turned your back on all of us lowly Tennessee types years ago.”
Oh God, was she crying? She was. She swiped at her eyes so she could see him clearly. He just sat there and took what she was dishing out.
“Are you done yet?”
She was breathing so hard, and her head hurt. If it weren’t for those two things she could have gone on for hours.
“Can’t you see this won’t work. Let me go back to my house. You’ve done your charity work. I’m all squeaky clean, I’ll open the windows and clean the house. You can go back to your high-class life in Dallas and be the mighty fireman. I’m all better now. Are you happy?”
“I’m happy that you’re yelling and seem a little more like my Chloe, but hearing that you think I’ve abandoned you for some exciting life in the city hurts.”
“Well didn’t you?”
***
Zarek watched her with a practiced eye. Her breathing was shallow, the pulse in her neck was going twice as fast as it should, and beads of perspiration dotted her forehead. He needed to get her to calm down. He needed a diversion.
“How’s Drake? You told me about the big reunion, it was pretty dramatic, but how’s he doing now?”
She looked at him like he’d grown a second head.
“Seriously, we’re in the middle of a fight and you’re asking about my big brother?”
“If I suggested you calm down, I figured you might hit me. You’re not in the correct head space to listen to why I moved to Dallas, so that was out.”
“What do you mean I’m not in the correct headspace? My headspace is fine!” she shouted.
“I rest my case,” he said keeping a straight face. “So how is Drake. I remember you had a lot of dreams built up about him. You and your sisters, thought he could walk on water.”
She scowled at him. “You know he was special. Think about all the money he sent to us. It wasn’t his fault that he was forced to leave Tennessee and join the military when he was eighteen. He was framed. He did more for me and my sisters than anybody could have ever asked.”
“That’s what I mean, you had him built on a pedestal. What was it like when he came home in February. Did he live up to your expectations?”
A dreamy expression crossed Chloe’s face, then it tightened and he knew she was thinking about her shitty parents who were both now in prison.
“Concentrate on Drake, Chloe.”
She blew out a breath.
“I fucking hate my parents.”
“There’s a lot of that going around. But you and your siblings are something else. Knowing where you came from, the mountain you had to climb, makes it all the more amazing.”
“Drake fell in love with a kindergarten teacher. It took him less than a week to sweep her off her feet. That’s how Trenda tells it. Evie says that Karen swept Drake of his feet.”
Zarek snorted. “Does it really matter who does the sweeping?”
“I’m just glad that Drake is getting his happily-ever-after. As long as the baby is okay. The doctors say that if she stays on bed rest, everything should be fine.”
“They’re planning the wedding for six weeks after she gives birth, right?”
“They were planning it for her eighth month. Can you believe that Drake thought that would be romantic?! Karen was having a fit. She says that is the only good thing that is coming out of the forced bedrest. Now she won’t have to wear a maternity wedding dress.”
Zarek chuckled softly. He was happy to note that Chloe’s pulse had slowed and her breathing was back to normal.
“The ice cream’s melted,” he observed.
She looked down at the bowls filled with liquid vanilla cream.
“Did the soda settle your stomach? Can you eat a little something?”
“I’ll try.” She picked up the sandwich and opened it up. She grimaced and pulled out the tomato. This time he laughed. If she was still a picky wench, there was definitely hope. But he knew they were still deep in the woods, and this would be a long road.
After depositing the offending vegetable on the plate, she took a small bite and chewed slowly.
“Quit putting me under a microscope and eat your damn sandwich,” she scowled at him.
Grinning, he picked up her discarded tomato and added it to his club sandwich and took a healthy bite. It was good, and he had finished half of his by the time she had finished three small bites.
“More Seven-Up?”
She took the proffered glass, and drank. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to finish much more than this. What’s more, I can’t deal with the cake,” she said on a yawn. “I’m tired. Let’s choose rooms.”
“Chloe, how many hours a day have you been sleeping?”
“I don’t know, maybe two naps a day.”
“How many hours total?”
“It depends, maybe sixteen.”
Just another sign of depression. “Can you try not to take a nap?” he coaxed.
He watched her eyes droop. “I’m really tired,” she said quietly. “Did you pack my sweats?”
“Shit, I left the bags in the truck. I’ll be back in a minute. Will you be all right while I’m gone?”
She nodded sleepily. He gave her a sharp glance, but she seemed so tired, that he felt he could leave her for the five minutes it would take to go to the truck.
“I’ll be right back.”
Chapter Five
As soon as the door closed behind him, panic set in. The fire no longer felt soothing, it looked like it could jump out of the hearth and engulf her. Her gaze careened around the room, nothing seemed familiar. Somebody could get in at any second. She needed Zarek, but it would be even worse outside.
It didn’t matter, she would be safer with him. Chloe shoved off the couch and ran limping towards the door, she tried to open it, but it wouldn’t budge.
“Hurry!” Finally, the door opened.
She winced with pain as her bare feet met hot pavement.
“Zarek!”
Why didn’t he answer? She looked up and saw the blue of the sky. It was the same blue that had painted the sky that day at Cherokee Lake. She clamped her hand over her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she peeked down at the burning pavement, she could handle looking at her feet.
Her breath caught as she saw the flowers beside the path. They were red like blood.
“Zarek! Where are you?”
Why didn’t he hear her? She looked up. The lodge wasn’t ahead of her, she was moving in the wrong direction. She was moving towards the ski slopes. Chloe stumbled, crashing to her knees. She was so small and the trees were so tall, towering around her, laughing down at her.
It wasn’t safe.
“Zarek!” she screamed. She knew it was useless, he wouldn’t hear her. Wait, she wasn’t supposed to scream, it would bring Evie, then her sister would be hurt. But if she didn’t scream, they would keep hurting her, and the pain in her foot and her knees were nothing compared to what would come next.
Chloe whimpered and covered her head.
“Chloe?”
Wave after wave of color dripped across her vision. Birds screeched, they were going to claw at her. She ducked, trying to get away from their vicious talons. They were going to make her bleed even more.
She heard screaming.
Oh God, someone was being tortured.
“Chloe.”
“What did you do to her Zarek?”
Was that Trenda?
Blessed blackness.
***
She lifted her forearm up in the semi darkness and turned and twisted it until she could see the pretty vein clearly. It popped out just a little, so easy to see even in the evening light. How often had Chloe admired it? Contemplated it? Oh she never really was going to do anything like harm herself, was she? That’s not what an Avery did. But it was a pretty vein, so inviting. And wouldn’t it make everything easier?
She took a deep breath. Then another. Moving her arm in the light.
Calm. She needed to find calm. Her breath hitched.
God, everything hurt. She just wanted it to stop, but that wasn’t the answer. She knew that in her heart. So she had to push through, but she didn’t know how. She hated that she had woken up, sleep was so much better. She wanted to cry, but there weren’t any tears left.
She rolled over in the hotel bed, conscious of the fact that Zarek had to have carried her after her freak-out. She clamped her hand over her wrist. She couldn’t keep looking at it. If she considered the ultimate escape after every crazy episode how would she ever improve her score on FreeCell Solitaire?
She snorted out a laugh.
Great, she couldn’t even laugh like a normal person.
She heard a commotion from the other room. It was a man’s voice, and woman yelling. Chloe crept out of bed and went to the door to listen. It was Trenda doing the yelling and she sounded out of control, maybe it was in the blood.
“You are out of your mind, you are not taking Chloe to Dallas!”
“She needs some time away.” Zarek’s voice rumbled like low thunder.
“She needs her family,” Trenda countered.
“Like we’ve been any help,” Zoe said. “She’s locked us out of her life. Literally.”
“I don’t care what you say, she’s coming home with me.”
It was funny hearing Zarek use such a commanding voice with Trenda. When he used his steely voice with her, it was always laced with more caring and kindness, with Trenda it was razor sharp.
“Zoe shouldn’t have called you,” Trenda said. “We’ll take care of her. We’ll get her into counseling. We’ll get her fixed.”
With that last phrase, Chloe felt like she’d been gut shot. It hurt to think that her sister saw her as something that needed to be fixed, like a broken piece of furniture.
“For the love of God, listen to yourself,” Zarek roared. “Chloe needs time, space and care. She needs somebody with her who understands her and will listen to her, not someone who thinks she needs to be fixed!”
“I didn’t mean it like that. She’s been hurting for so long, and I just want what’s best for her.”
“Zarek, don’t yell at Trenda. You know she’s only trying to help. It just came out wrong,” Zoe intervened.
“She’s coming to Dallas.”
Chloe went back to the bed, and slipped under the covers, holding her wrist.
Dallas, it was something to consider. Maybe it was a way to escape.
***
“Chloe?”
She looked up and saw Zoe standing at the door to the bedroom, she looked guilty. Her sister was so easy to read.
“Can I come in?”
Chloe reached over and turned on the bedside lamp.
“Can I come in too?”
She nodded at her oldest sister. Both women sat down on the bed beside her. For just a moment she flashed back to the days when they all lived together in their family home. Usually there was Maddie and Evie on the bed too. Chloe didn’t want to think too much about that.
“Zarek thinks you should go to Dallas with him,” Trenda said baldly. “I think it’s a bad idea.”
“Yeah, you think I should be fixed,” Chloe said bitterly.
Trenda winced.
“How much of that did you hear?” Zoe asked.
“I don’t know,” Chloe admitted. “I got up when you were arguing and listened to some of it, then I went back to bed. I needed to think.”
“I’m sorry you heard me say that.” Trenda reached out to grasp her hand and Chloe jerked it away.
“I can’t even hold your hand?” Trenda asked softly, the hurt was clear on her face.
“I’m sorry,” Chloe said reaching out and grabbing her sister’s hand. “It was reflex.”
“Honey, you need help. We need to get you into counselling. It helped me after I was held hostage. I made an appointment with my therapist, she’ll see you the day after tomorrow.”
It took everything Chloe had not to pull her hand back.
“Trenda, you’re pushing,” Zoe admonished.
“You know I’m right,” Trenda said. “Zoe, we have to help her. Look at her, she’s fading right before our very eyes. I refuse to let her deteriorate and do nothing about it. Not on my watch.”
This time Chloe was able to pull away from Trenda’s grasp. “I won’t be talked to like I’m not even here. Like I’m not even a person.” She shoved out from beneath the covers and stood up beside the bed.
“Get away from me. Both of you!”
“What did I do?” Zoe asked.
“Out! Both of you! Out!”
“Trenda was the one out of line,” Zoe protested.
“I hate you both,” Chloe was vibrating with rage.
Where had that come from?
“But I didn’t do anything,” Zoe said standing toe to toe with her
.
“No shit you didn’t do anything. You never do anything. You’re never where you should be, you’re always shirking your responsibilities. You’re always gallivanting around and just leaving it to the rest of us to shoulder all the hardships. Get the fuck out of here Zoe!”
Zoe went rigid.
“You don’t mean that.” Trenda stood up slowly from the bed.
“Get. Out.”
From the corner of her eye she saw the door open further and Zarek stand in the doorway.
“Please Chloe, let’s talk.” Zoe begged.
“There’s nothing to talk about.” Chloe’s breath was sawing in and out. She felt like she was going to pass out, but she’d be damned if she would sit down. She wasn’t about to show any weakness, they’d use it against her.
“Chloe, if you’d just―”
“Time’s up Ladies.” Zarek said as he stepped into the room. “Chloe made her position perfectly clear. She’s coming to Dallas with me.”
Chloe turned away from the people in the room and eyed the solace of the bed. Couldn’t she just crawl under the blankets and hide?
“You’re not going with him, are you? You know that’s the wrong decision. You need us.”
Trenda managed to say the exact wrong thing. Chloe looked her sister dead in the eye. “I’m going with Zarek.”
Chloe turned to see if Zoe had any arguments and saw that she was hunched over, holding her stomach like she’d taken a body blow. It took a moment to remember what she’d said to her twin that had left her with such a stricken expression.
“You hate me,” Zoe gasped.
Chloe shut her eyes, trying to block out everything.
“Everything hurts, Zoe. Everything is a reminder, and I’m angry about a lot of things. Zarek’s right. I need to get away from here.”
Zoe slowly straightened up and stared at her, her eyes bright with unshed tears. “Come on Trenda, let’s go.”
“At least let us help you pack,” Trenda offered.
Zoe and Chloe both let out identical weary laughs. Trenda couldn’t help herself. She was a big sister until the bitter end.
“Come on ‘T’, our work is done. Let’s bail before Chloe decides to leave and never come back,” Zoe said dragging Trenda out the door.
Dallas Fire & Rescue: Tempting Fire (Kindle Worlds Novella) Page 4