“Never,” I whisper. “I could never regret being with you. I’ve always loved you. That’s never stopped. Even in the most painful moments when I wanted to hate you or when I didn’t understand you, I’ve loved you.”
I lean forward and kiss her softly. I drag my hands from her cheeks, lacing them through her hair. She sighs when I pull away after that small kiss. I keep my hands where they are, restraining myself from taking it further.
“I know we’ve hurt each other, and there’s some stuff we need to talk about.” I grimace, my stomach tightening when I think of telling her my secrets. “It’s not going to be easy. Moving forward never is, but if we’re going to make it, then we both have to try. I’m ready to do that. I need to learn to listen and not run. I’ll probably fuck up, but we’ve come this far and we’re still hanging on, so that has to mean something. I don’t think we’ve ever let each other go, but I’m ready to find you, find us, if you’ll give me a chance.”
Tears trail down her cheeks, and my chest seizes. I hate seeing her cry. I hate seeing her hurt, and last night comes back fresh.
“I ruined it all.”
“I fucked up everything. Did you stop loving me that day?”
She places so much blame on herself, and I’ve let her. I’ve blamed her for everything. I’ve placed my failures on her shoulders. I’ve convinced myself I never agreed to an open marriage and she made that decision without me. But that’s not true. I didn’t fight for her. I let her down.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” I prod.
“I’m… I’m a little overwhelmed. I keep asking myself if I’m dreaming. Are you really here? I’ve needed you for so long, and last night was…” She blinks, trying to figure out what she wants to say. “Last night was like coming home.”
Those last two words tickle my skin, inducing a burn from the top of my head to the tip of my toes. My skin blazes, and my heart rate increases to frantic speeds.
Her eyes twinkle, the blue glinting beautifully against her olive skin as she continues. “I’ve missed you. I didn’t know how to get through to you. I’ve been fighting myself, trying to figure out what I could do to fix us. Last night was… God, it was everything I’ve wanted. Then this morning… this morning, I was scared.” Her eyes glaze over with that ache they always have. My body burns to take that pain and replace it with something else. It wants to soothe her, draw that out of her and protect her.
She takes a deep breath. “I rolled over, and you weren’t there. I thought you had run. I thought you had left me. I wanted to believe you’d still be here like you had promised. But I thought… last night wasn’t enough. I would never be enough, and nothing I could do would save us.”
Tears trickle down her cheeks. I stroke under her eyes to dry them.
The last couple of weeks have been opening my eyes. From seeing her in the Keys, to finding out about Nate, to watching her with Gray. From the office, to the standoff at Grayson’s apartment. It’s been chipping at my sanity and we’ve finally hit a breaking point.
This is it for us. I don’t just want to fix this, I’ve got to. This girl’s been in my life since I was sixteen years old. She’s in my blood. I woke up thinking about her and closed my eyes to thoughts of her. I ate, breathed, and lived this girl. I’ve lost that, and it shows in every area of my life. I’ve been miserable. I lost the thing that grounded me.
I’m taking it back. I’m grabbing it and running with it. Fuck the repercussions. I’ll deal with them as they come, but I’m jumping on this ride and taking every damn thing I can from her. Because I need her.
“I’m here, baby.” I move my lips to her cheek.
“I know you are. When I saw you on the sofa, I felt like I could breathe again,” she admits.
“I’m not going anywhere. Not anymore. I’m sorry for the way I’ve been. I want you back. I hate all this shit between us. I hate that I haven’t been the man I promised I’d be. Don’t give up on me again.”
She pulls back and looks at me, her brow furrowing. “I’m not going anywhere. I’d never give up on you. Is that what you think? That I gave up on you?”
My throat tightens when I think of the night I felt betrayed. “Yeah.”
She swallows, her eyes dropping to her hands. “I’m sorry. I never… I didn’t… I was messed up.”
The moment becomes tense. We’re both holding on to a lot of hurt. We both have a ton of unanswered questions and things we need to talk about.
“I think we gave up on each other.”
She lifts her eyes to mine. “Yeah, I guess we did. But I’ll never go down that road again. I only want you.”
“Are you sure about that?” I ask, needing some sort of reassurance.
“I’ve never been surer of anything in my life,” she whispers, her blue eyes wide with honesty.
My heart rate triples. I wish I could believe her. I wish I could trust her, but this is a good first step. I want my wife back. “Can I touch you? Kiss you? Make love to you again?”
Her breathing becomes rapid, and her chest brushes mine. Her voice comes out soft and breathless. “I’d love nothing more.”
I pull back, needing her to see my hunger and primal need to earn her back. I exhale as desperation to possess her sets in. “I’m going to make you remember me again. Once you do, you’re never going to want to let another man touch you.” I shift her around so she’s straddling my legs, and I pull her face to mine. My nose touches hers, and my breath fans her lips. “I’m going to work you so good, it’ll be impossible for you to see, feel, or need anything but me, Kylie.”
She trembles, trying to respond, but I place a finger to her lips to hush her so I can continue. “I’m going to make you mine. Every square inch, I’ll own.” I kiss her and slide my tongue in her mouth for a brief moment. She moans, and my cock throbs in response. “You’re going to hand me every piece of your body and soul, and I’m going to do the same. It won’t be today, because we have a lot of work to do. It won’t be tomorrow, but I swear to God, I’m going to earn every part of who you are. I will claim you.”
She gasps, her lips parting, and I don’t hold back. I crash my lips to hers, pushing my tongue into her mouth. Her flavor is intoxicating, a mixture of Kylie and mint. I groan and rub my dick against her core. My tongue passes back and forth over hers. I gently brace her back against my legs and move my hands to cup her full breasts. I drag her shirt down and free her perfect nipples. I pinch and pull the pink buds as she grasps my shoulders and struggles for air.
My heart rate skyrockets, and adrenaline makes me feel animalistic. I claw at her clothes, needing to slam my cock deep into her. I want her to remember and feel me when she leaves this room. I want her to know that no other man can give her what I can. I want her to sense me deep within her and know that even when I’m not buried inside her, when we’re apart, I’m still there. That even though I abandoned her I have never stopped loving her, not for a second, not for one moment. She’s always been my heart. And while my heart might be a mangled mess, I’m going to try and let her smooth out the dents.
I’m not running. I’m finally ready to face this, us.
“Tell me what you want,” I say roughly, reaching for her shorts. “I want to know what you need. I’m gonna give it to you.”
“You,” she says, breathless. Her eyes flash with the same hunger I feel. “I just need you. All of you.”
I’m hit with immediate satisfaction, an almost barbaric, caveman feeling of bliss. I want all of her. No more holding back, no more fucking bullshit—just us. Once she’s bare below, I whip her tank over her shoulders and take in her nipples and the curve of her tits. My mouth waters to bite and suck them.
“Fuck baby, you’re gorgeous.” I moan as I run my palms around her breasts and grip them firmly.
“Harder,” she whispers. “Pull on them harder. I like it rough.”
My cock, already steel, turns almost painful at her request. “Jesus Christ, I want to fuck till you ca
n’t stand.” I slide my hands up her chest to grip her neck. Our noses touch, and I train my eyes on hers. “I want you to understand something and understand it good.” She nods, and I continue. “I won’t share you anymore. I want you to understand that. From this second forward, you are mine and I am yours. I don’t give a fuck how either of us is feeling. There’ll be no more sharing. Understood?”
She quivers slightly as her eyes close. I see a couple tears trickle down her face. My heart, already frantic, thrashes, and my throat catches in unease.
“Kylie, look at me. Tell me what’s wrong, baby? You have to tell me what you’re thinking.”
“Do you know how badly I’ve wanted you? How long I’ve been dying for even a sliver of your attention? I’ve just needed this.” She opens her eyes, her voice cracking as if she’s forcing the words from deep within her soul. “I’ve done some shitty things, but you’re all I’ve ever wanted. It breaks me that I’ve shared you. That someone else has had you. The thought of you with another woman kills me, Cooper.”
I swallow the lump wedged in my throat and kiss her wet cheeks. I pull her against me. “We can’t change what’s done, baby. I wish we could, but we can’t. We’re going to have to deal with that pain, but right now, I need you to understand that the sharing stops today.” She nods, and I feel a weight lift off me. I feel a thousand tons lighter. “Close your eyes,” I say, wanting to silence her thoughts.
She complies. I lean her back on my knees just enough to glide my hands down to her pussy. Her chest heaves. Her breasts move up and down, gloriously sexy. I have to work to control the animal inside me. It’s clawing and growling to rip free and take her in one thrust. But she doesn’t need that right now. She needs to be reminded of us.
My fingers reach the top of her sex and stop. I sweep them slowly across her lower abdomen, teasing her. I watch her tremble and hear her moan. Having her in front of me sends a sensation I can’t even describe straight to my cock. I close my eyes, trying to compose myself.
My chest hurts, my breathing’s heavy. She’s wet, so wet I can smell it. My fingers itch to touch her, but I deny it. Instead, I move my mouth to her soft nipple and graze it with my teeth. She lets out a purr, a fucking purr. Her body jolts as I suck her and tease the top of her pussy. My dick spasms when her fingers grasp my hair, pulling me harder against her breast.
“Holy shit, Cooper. Please, put your fingers inside me,” she begs.
Her voice is low, all sex, and my balls tighten. I like her like this: needy, panting, and wanting. “Is that all you want? Just my fingers?”
I breathe against her nipple to watch it pucker, then graze it with my teeth. She groans and moves her hips, almost pleading for me to touch her.
“How many fingers do you want, Kylie? Tell me.”
“God, please. As many as you—”
I don’t let her get out the last words. I thrust two fingers into her warm, wet channel and plunge them in and out.
She pants and moans, her hips grinding against my hand. I need to see her eyes.
“Open your eyes,” I command.
She does, and the fire behind her irises sets my entire being ablaze, an inferno of longing lit within me. I want to be inside her so fucking badly that I quicken the pace of my fingers and glide my thumb over her clit. I rotate it, putting just enough pressure to get her to climax.
“Do you need more?” I ask.
“Yes.”
I love the desperation in her tone. “How much more? Tell me!”
“I need you,” she pleads. “More than your fingers. I need your cock.”
God, I love her dirty mouth. She’s on the brink; I can feel it in the heat that beads from her pussy. I press my thumb into her nub just like I used to and continue my relentless finger fucking. She trembles. Then I hear her mewling and see her eyes close as her climax hits her hard and fast.
Satisfaction courses through my blood at the look of sheer pleasure that skitters across her face. It causes my body to pulse. I can’t contain myself when I see the hazy glint burning in her eyes. I flip her on her back on the sofa, chuckling as she squeals.
“You are the sexiest fucking thing when you orgasm,” I whisper, running my palms up her legs as I stare at her pussy. It’s swollen and wet. My cock aches, and the torture nearly drive me insane. I have to slam into her right now. “Was that enough?”
“Uh huh…”
“I need to take you now. If I get too rough, tell me.” I don’t want to hurt her, but I can’t deny my instinct to slam into her anymore.
She smiles a devilish smile as I remove my clothes. Her eyes drop to my cock that’s begging to be inside her, to be loved and wanted by her. I need her so badly that the edges of my sanity are splintering apart.
No words are spoken as I move on top of her, aligning the head of my dick with her opening. She spreads her legs wide, coaxing me to her. When I feel the lips of her pussy, I almost lose my shit. A growl rips from me. I bury my face in her neck, taking in her scent and the smell of us together. I ram myself inside her. She gasps and I still, sheathing myself to the hilt. I pull back to look at her, and my lungs seize at how beautiful she is. Her black hair is spread out behind her, her cheeks are flushed, and her eyes are filled with ecstasy.
“Tell me you’re okay,” I whisper.
“I’m the most perfect I’ve ever been,” she answers softly, her breath fanning my lips.
I stare into her incandescent eyes and slam into her. I take her mouth, stroking her tongue while I love her. My pace is crushing, bruising as my need for her unleashes. She gasps and moans and her nails dig into my back. Sweat beads on our skin as our bodies meet. I put everything I have into her, tipping my hips up so my cock rubs her sweet spot. I try to consume her senses as she crawls underneath my skin. She takes over, intoxicating me one cell, one organ at a time. She invades my blood, addicting me to her sweetness.
My mind and body become hers without my permission.
The fear of loving her encircles me and hits me in the gut. But there’s no choice. I was made to love her. She’s mine, and I am hers. As we come together, fucking each other back into our blood, I know the future will be rocky. But I’m finally finding my footing again. I’m eager to claim her soul and stake my rightful place in her life. After this, I won’t let her go.
I feel her pussy grip me like a vise as her orgasm takes her. Her breathless moans fill the air, coating everything in a sheen of sex and desire. Seconds later, my balls tighten, and my release follows. I empty deep into her.
As I come down from the high of having her, my chest tightens. Things are about to get real because Layla and Grayson are going to be knocking on our doors very soon.
Three days later…
As I arrive at the office and put the car in park, I glance at Kylie. She looks stressed as she gazes out the window. I notice her eyes land on a red BMW. I know what she’s thinking, because I’m thinking the same thing.
What the fuck are we doing here?
This morning I told her I had some things to work on at the office. I’ve taken three days off, but I can’t take any more. Of course she wanted to come with me. She’s missed a lot of time the last several weeks, and Cali’s had to pick up the slack. Things have changed really quickly between us, and we’re about to walk into an uncomfortable situation.
I’m nervous. We haven’t talked about Gray or Layla. We’ve spent the last couple of days getting to know each other again. We didn’t broach any sticky topics. I guess we were afraid, so we lived in a cocoon of “lovers getting reacquainted.”
I watch her carefully lean back against the cool leather seat, and I soak in her beauty. She’s got on a pink blouse that dips low and a tan skirt that gives me a peek at her long, luscious legs. She looks edible, her olive skin shining in the sun. Her forehead and cute little button nose are scrunched up as her head works through whatever’s going on in it.
My stomach knots when I think of walking into that office and seeing L
ayla. We should have discussed this, but I didn’t know how to bring it up. We’ve been together a long time, but the time we’ve spent apart has changed us so much that I need to get to know her again. I need to rediscover how her head works, how she processes things. Maybe keeping her out of all this and away from the office is the way to go.
I feel my heart beat increase as I wonder if she’s thinking of Gray. It’s only been a week since they’ve talked. Does she miss him? Everything in me rages to keep them apart. I don’t know how she’ll react to what I have planned. How she’ll react to the rapid changes in our lives. I place my palm on her knee, trying to gently get her attention. She startles and whips her head around so fast, I flinch.
“Whoa, are you okay?” I ask, looking into her eyes.
She takes a quick breath and gives me a weak smile. “Yeah, sorry. Are we here? That was quick.”
I arch a brow at her scattered reaction. “Where were you?”
She sighs loudly. “I was just thinking. It was nothing much, really.”
“It didn’t look like nothing to me. In fact, I’m pretty sure I know where your thoughts were,” I say, my voice gentle, looking toward Layla’s car.
She grimaces and angles her body toward mine. Anxiety plays across her features. “I forgot how well you read me.”
“Mmm… I’m trying to read you,” I say. “We don’t have to do this, you know?”
“We’d have to do it eventually. Why wait?”
“That’s true, but maybe this is too much, too soon.”
“I don’t know, Cooper.” She sounds defeated, almost resigned to dealing with this now.
“Things have changed, Ky. They definitely have for me.”
“They changed for me a while ago, Cooper.”
I still, taking in what she just said. “When did they change for you?”
She looks up as if contemplating her answer. “I think they changed the morning after Nate. When I saw you the next day.”
Against All Odds Page 18