She leans her head on my shoulder and cries, her chest heaving. I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight. I feel destroyed for her, remorse flooding my veins that this beautiful soul is so broken. After several minutes, she pulls back and looks at me. Her blue eyes are rimmed in red, her face is flushed, and her lips look swollen. Her beauty assaults me.
“I’m sorry, Cooper. Sometimes I want to die, just disappear, and other times I want to fight. I’m tired,” she whispers. “I don’t know whether I’m coming or going. I’m scared. I’m afraid you’ll think I’m disgusting, that I’m going to repulse you and you’re not going to want me.”
Her eyes hold that ache I always see behind them. I want to snatch it away. Jesus, I’ve hurt her. She’s a completely different girl. I have single-handedly changed her.
“Stop right there. Listen to me. You’ve never, ever repulsed me.” My voice rises as I try to get her to understand that. “Never. Christ, baby, you’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen.” I take a deep breath, my body tensing. “Something messed my head when we lost her. Something didn’t work. I don’t know why, and I can’t explain it. I just needed time to figure out what it was. It had nothing to do with you. It was never about you. It was all me, baby.”
“If that’s the truth, then why could you touch other women and not me? How could you have sex with them and not me?”
Its time.
It’s finally time to tell her what I haven’t wanted her to know. Everything freezes as I get ready to drop a bomb. I lean my forehead against hers and drop her legs, keeping her back pressed to the wall. I stare into her eyes, placing my hands on the sides of her head. We say nothing, our breath melding and the water in the shower turning cold.
“I don’t know how to say this. There were no other women,” I whisper. “Layla was the only one, Kylie.”
Her eyes widen for a fraction of a second. Her face falls as she slowly processes my words. “No, what do you mean? There couldn’t have been. I saw them. The girl at the bar? I know, I saw them.”
I take a deep breath. “The girl at the bar was the first one I felt like fucking.” I wince at the way it comes out. “When I saw you with that guy, I didn’t know it was Nate. I just knew it was another man. I was overwhelmed with you and changed my mind. I ended up leaving her there. I got my own hotel room that night. Nothing happened. As for Layla, she had been pursuing me for a couple of months. When I got back from the Keys and found out about Nate, I was mad. I went to find you and saw you with Gray. When I left the lake house, I was so angry. That was the first night I slept with Layla.”
“I don’t understand,” she says. “Why just one? Why would you make me think something that’s not true? Why didn’t you stop me, Cooper?” Her face looks distressed, her black hair clings to her cheeks, and her forehead scrunches up in stress. It takes everything in me to continue, to open up and explain my actions.
“I’ve never wanted anyone but you. That’s never been an issue or need for me. All I needed was time to get my head right.” I don’t want to hurt her more than I have. I want her to know that this wasn’t about her. “Kylie, this is going to hurt you and I don’t want to do that, but this is the truth. I couldn’t fuck my own wife. I was screwed in the head, and it broke me. Something about losing Kayla and losing control of our lives messed me up. I knew I couldn’t give you what you wanted, so I chose to ignore you. I thought we could manage.”
She seems thoughtful and sad, but she’s listening to every word I’m saying. She’s trying to understand.
“That very first night you came home from the hotel, I knew what you had done. I had followed you,” I admit. “I was angry. I felt betrayed. Part of me hated you that night, and I used that anger to propel me. I made myself detach from you. I couldn’t deal with what you had done. When I look back, all that hatred I felt wasn’t for you. It was for me. I loathed myself for not being enough for you, for not being what you needed. I despised what you were doing but was too emotionally fucked to do anything about it. The only way I could deal with everything was to avoid you. It killed me to be near you, so I lived and breathed work, which you saw. I took as many trips away as I could so I wouldn’t have to lay next to you at night. I became a pussy. I ran from you because I felt like I’d never be enough. Losing Kayla destroyed me. It took my power. It took who I thought I was and changed me. I wish with everything inside me I could go back, that I could have a redo.”
She sobs. “I didn’t know. I didn’t know you were there.”
“I know you didn’t,” I whisper, wiping her tears.
“This is so fucked up.” Her eyes are rimmed with tears, her voice hoarse from crying. “If you waited for me, why pick Layla? Of all people, why her?”
I sigh. “She was easy. That’s it. I was angry and wanted to forget you, so I took what she offered. I used her and part of it was to get back at you. I needed a place to purge my pain. The thought of you with other men… it was killing me.”
She processes everything slowly. Her eyes flicker around as she grasps all I’ve said. After a minute, she whispers, “How many times did you fuck her, Cooper?”
Her question startles me. Out of everything she could ask, that catches me off guard. Her eyes are hot, and the glint in them causes the air in my lungs to evaporate. Her entire body boils, I can see it. Her hands move from my arms to my shoulders, sliding into my hair. She looks desperate, jealous, and possessive. The look on her face and the way her body screams “he’s mine” is something I haven’t seen for a long time.
“Tell me, Cooper. How many times did that bitch get to touch you?”
The intensity of her voice churns a slow burn in me and stirs my cock to life. I can’t help but counter her possessiveness. “Does it matter, Kylie?” I say gruffly. “I think I could ask you the same thing. How many men have touched what’s mine?” I growl, my chest rumbling with darkness. The thought of those pieces of shit, touching and tasting my girl blister me alive.
Her eyes flicker away, showing me that she’s just as affected by my need to own her as I am by her need to own me. Jealousy swarms red hot through our veins, contaminating everything around us. She wears her emotions across her face like a map, every line marking a path of pain, sorrow, and rage.
As she trembles in my arms, her fingers pull my hair roughly. She stares at me, our breathing hot and heavy, sexual possession about to be laid claim. “No more.”
My balls ache, and my cock becomes engorged, ready to enter her in a bruising stroke. I need to take it all from her and imprint my body on her soul. “You’re right, Kylie. No fucking more.” I pick her up, pushing her firmly against the shower wall.
I crush my lips to hers and thrust my tongue into her mouth. The kiss is messy, possessive—all fire and heat. She claws at me violently, digging her nails into my scalp and my neck.
She breaks the kiss and stares at me, a fierceness in her body. “You’re mine.” She slams her dainty fists into my chest for not being man enough to fight for her, every thump reminding me who I belong to.
A protectiveness seizes me with the urge to rip all the pain from her body. She stops and looks at me, her tits heaving with her short, exhausted breaths. She registers the look on my face, and her body trembles as goose bumps slide up her arms.
My smile is not sweet or tender, but dominant, carnal, and all encompassing. Her eyes sparkle with need, a yearning so deep, I can taste it. Her choppy breath breezes across my face, warming everything around me. When my nose touches hers, I lock my eyes with her baby blues.
“You, Mrs. Kylie fucking Bailey, have always—always—belonged to me.”
Her eyes light, her body sparking with flames. “Jesus, Cooper, take me already.”
I grip her ass tighter and line my cock up with her opening. I stare straight at her, and without warning, I thrust, impaling her. Her back hits the wall as she cries breathlessly. It sends a shiver of pleasure straight through me. I still for just a moment, waiting for her to adjust. I
’m only conscious of her heat surrounding me, her tits begging for my mouth, and those wet nipples.
She squirms, her breaths coming in small puffs. Her eyes dance across my body, destroying me. Her face and soul, owning me. Her heart sears mine as I move inside her. Every primal, carnal, and dominant need, oozes out as I growl her name and claim her as mine.
“Who do you need?” I demand.
“You,” she cries, struggling for air.
“Who do you fucking belong to?” I thrust into her deepest part.
“You,” she screams, gripping my shoulders, drawing my blood with her nails.
The pain propels me. I continue my jarring movements, fucking her ruthlessly. Her face is slathered with pleasure. I notice her struggling to keep her head up and her eyes open. I need her to see this and live this moment.
“Don’t you dare close your eyes,” I command. “You look at me. You tell me right now. Who fucking owns you?”
“You.”
Her pussy clenches my cock. That’s enough to tip her over the edge, and I watch as her orgasm rockets through her tiny body. She looks at me, fighting to keep her eyes open. It’s magnetic and electric, watching the way she lights up as pleasure sweeps through her. A hazy, sated look spreads across her body. I need to keep her here, so I pick up my pace, desperate to bring her back to the brink of pleasure.
“Tell me, Kylie… who owns me?” My voice is thick and raspy. A rawness to it I’ve never heard.
I watch as she transforms from sated to possessive. Her look singes me, blistering every surface of my skin.
“I do,” she says, moving to kiss me. “I own you.”
I’m on the cusp of coming as she takes my mouth while I take her pussy. I break the kiss, needing to remind her of how we’re working from now on.
“Who touches you?”
“You.” She shudders, her body rushing with another wave of heat.
“Who touches me?” I whisper, slowing my thrusts so she can feel every ridge and line of my cock.
“I do,” she whispers, emotion taking over.
“Who loves you, baby?” My tone soft as I take her lips and love her.
“You do,” she breathes, against my mouth. The moment between us intensifies. I pull back and grip her tightly, digging my fingers into her soft flesh.
“Who loves me?” I’m desperate to hear it. I fight my release, needing her love, her words, her body to put my weary heart to rest.
She lays her hand on my cheek, her chest lurching back and forth. “I do.” She smiles, her blues eyes overflowing with tenderness.
The atmosphere that was savage turns intimate as we both peak. It takes two more slow, tender thrusts. I lay my forehead against hers and say, “You do. You love me.”
I finally give in, releasing my seed inside her. I bring my arms from under her to around her waist. She clings to me as I sink to my knees. Tears come from both of us as the cold water pelts my back. Her warmth against my body breathes life into me, renewing my heart with strength I didn’t think it had. We’ve finally taken each other back, and I know from this day forward, I will never abandon my wife again. I will love her always, and I will honor those vows and cherish her till death do us part.
I know what it’s like to lose her, to have my life destroyed. To live lost, miserable, and bathed in darkness. I will never go back. Kylie and I are not magically healed, but we are so much better than we were a month ago. That’s enough for me.
Three months later…
“Cooper,” she squeals.
“Just a second, we’re almost there.” I laugh.
“Oh my God. I feel like I’m going to fall.”
“I’ve got you,” I say as I swing her into my arms.
She lets out a shriek then a laugh. “What are you doing?”
“You’ll see,” I whisper, walking toward our destination with her tucked in my arms.
“By the way, I hate this blindfold.”
“You hate not being able to see what we’re doing.” I chuckle.
“I hate surprises.”
“I know you do. That’s why I love them.”
“You’re so bad,” she says with a playful smack.
“Mmm… Only with you,” I murmur, kissing her cheek.
“Are we there yet?”
I shake my head. “God, you have no patience.”
“I can’t help it. You have me all wound up.”
“I’ll wind you up, all right,” I whisper, teasing her. “But we’re here.” I set her down and take her hands. I pull her gently so she’s facing me. I nip her ear, ghosting my breath across the bottom of her lobe, the way she likes it. “Are you ready?”
“What do you think?” she whispers, excited.
“I think you want to wait some more,” I joke.
“Come on, Coop.”
I kiss her lips and smile against them. “Fine, you win.” I take off the blindfold. “Go ahead,” I say, wiggling my brows. “Turn around.”
She blinks as her eyes adjust to the light. “I’m scared.” A wide grin spreads across her face.
“Why?” I laugh. “This is your surprise.”
“I know, but I hate surprises.”
“Don’t be silly. Look.”
She spins around, and I hear what I’ve been dying to—a gasp. “Oh my God, did you do all this?”
“No, I hired Santa and his posse,” I quip. “Of course I did.”
She turns around mirth dancing across her face and thumps me softly on the arm. I yelp playfully, which makes her giggle. I watch her turn back to take everything in.
“I can’t believe you did…” Her voice trails off as she realizes where we are.
I hear her quick intake of breath and see her shoulders quiver as she takes in her surroundings. She takes a shaky step toward the tree. She runs her hand along the bark. I see her splay them slowly against it. She stands with her back to me and everything in me can tell she’s affected by our location.
She tilts her head up to look at the lanterns in the branches. Her hair cascades down her back in beautiful waves, and the light hits it perfectly. My breath catches at her beauty, and my body warms when she turns around. Her eyes hold amazement and something else. She looks moved, loved, and happy.
She smiles and shakes her head. “How did you do this?”
“I have my ways,” I murmur.
“This is our spot…”
“It is.”
“We haven’t been here in a long time.” She turns to go around to the other side of the tree.
I know what she’s looking for, so I follow her. I see her raise a shaky hand and run her finger over the C&K that are engraved in the bark. The way she traces the letters is reverent.
“Do you remember this?” she asks quietly.
“How could I forget?”
“We were so young.”
“But happy,” I whisper.
“And hopelessly in love,” she breathes, her blue eyes swimming in emotion.
“I’m still hopelessly in love.”
She smiles, a couple tears dripping down her cheeks. “So am I.”
I grab her and bring her into my embrace. The dusky sky beams above us, the lanterns illuminating around us and the sound of the breeze surrounds us. I hold my angel and sway back and forth. “We should dance.”
“There’s no music, silly.” She laughs.
“Yes, there is.” I pull out my phone and turn on a song—Blake Shelton’s “Mine Would be You.”
Her hand goes to her mouth. I put the phone on the blanket in the grass and pull her into my chest. She wraps her arms around my shoulders and buries her face in the crook of my neck.
“You thought of everything.”
“I tried.”
We dance in the sunset, soaking in each other. The feel of her against me is like nothing on earth. Her scent is intoxicating, and it puts me in a trance. She swims through my body, creating a haze inside me.
“Do you remember the first t
hing you ever said to me?” she asks.
“I think so.”
“It was love at first line,” she whispers.
“What?” I laugh and pull back.
“Love at first line.” Her cheeks turn pink, and she tips her head down shyly.
“What does that mean?”
She lifts her eyes to mine. “It means I fell in love with the first line you spoke to me.”
“And what did I say?” My voice drops low as I think about the first time she plowed me over in the hallway of our high school.
“‘Whoa… where’d you come from?’” She giggles.
“Well you did run me over.” I smirk, playfully. “It’s was hard to come up with something sexy on the fly.”
“I did. But the way you looked at me…” She shivers. “I’ll never forget that.”
“And how did I look at you, Kylie?”
“Like you’d just seen an angel.”
“I had…” I fall in love with her a little more in this moment.
“We’ve been through a lot since then.”
“Yeah, we have.”
Her forehead creases in thought. “But you still love me.”
“Every day since.”
“When did you know I was the girl for you?”
She looks as though she needs a reminder, reassurance and I want to give it. I want to give her everything I haven’t the last two years.
“Do you remember the night we won our division? The football game against the state champs?”
“Yeah,” she says, “how could I forget? Fucking Janna Taylor.”
“Do you remember what you did?” I ask, amusement tickling my chest. “At the after party.”
“Yeah, I almost killed her,” she breathes.
I chuckle. “You were pretty angry that she had hugged me.”
“And then kissed you.”
“On the cheek, Kylie.”
“I don’t care,” she mutters. “I think we’re getting off track here.”
“I’m always off track with you,” I murmur, leaning in to kiss her. “You were so mad, but you still let me take you home.”
Against All Odds Page 24