He taps my chin gently to get me to look up. “We’re going to be okay, Kylie” he says, softly. “Is your bag ready to go?”
I nod and point at the door.
He flicks his eyes to the tote then back to mine. “Are you scared?”
“To death,” I admit, momentarily giving into my fear that’s bubbling inside me.
“I know it’s scary,” he says, his tone soft and comforting. “But we’re going to be o…”
His words taper off when my face breaks into a grimace as another contraction hits me hard. I brace my hands on the side of the rocker and close my eyes, trying not to hold my breath. I know that when I do it makes the pain worse. I breathe in small puffs and count in my head. It passes in less than a minute, and when I open my eyes, I can’t help the small laugh that escapes. Cooper looks as if he’s about to panic.
“It’s just a contraction. You can relax,” I say.
“How many of these have you had?”
“Several.”
He shakes his head and stands. “I think we need to get going. Did you call the doctor?”
I nod while he helps me stand. “Can you grab the bag while I go to the bathroom?”
“Yeah, I got it. Anything we need other than the bag?” He’s all business.
It earns another laugh from me. I can’t help it. His nerves are helping to settle mine.
“What’s so funny?” His eyes twinkle in the faint light.
“You stressing out is making me feel better.”
“Glad I can help.” He chuckles. “But the thought of you sitting here having contractions for an hour freaks me out. This is your second baby, and it could come quick. We need to get going.”
I smile. “Okay, are you ready for this?”
“I was born ready.” He smirks.
“So you’re going looking like that?” I look at his hips, at that tapered V on display, and raise my eyes to his.
“I’m a man, baby. It takes me less than a minute to throw on shorts and a T-shirt. By the time you’re out of the bathroom, I’ll be ready and patiently waiting.”
“Well, smart ass”—I grin, feeling my mood lighten—“go, so I can have this baby already.”
He laughs and pats my butt, leaning in for a kiss. “You are going to do great, Momma. I can’t wait to meet our baby.”
I smile when his lips touch mine and his fingers slide along my jaw. “I can’t wait either.”
“You know what else I can’t wait for?” he whispers, his eyes turning wicked.
I blush because I know exactly what he’s thinking. “Six weeks. Six long weeks. I don’t know how you’re going to make it.”
“It’s gonna be hell, but I’ll take care of you while we wait.” He licks his lips and rubs his nose on mine. “Let’s have a baby.”
I bark out a laugh. “Holy subject change.”
He chuckles. “You liked that, didn’t ya?” His eyes twinkle with mirth. “I had to do something to distract you from freaking out.”
I shake my head and waddle out the room with Cooper trailing me.
“You know,” he says, “I’m going to miss your pregnancy body.”
I twist my head around and roll my eyes. “Right, because feeling like a whale and barely being able to move is so sexy.”
He grins. “Baby, you’re all ass and tits right now. Trust me when I tell you there’s nothing sexier. That body you’ve got going on is all because of me. My baby’s done that to you. It’s made you fuller, softer.” He groans, appraising me. “I’ve had plenty to grab the last couple of months, and I’ve loved it.” He pulls me against him.
“What are you doing, Cooper?” I ask, breathless.
“I want to relax you,” he whispers, “and tell you something.” He wraps his hands around my shoulders and massages them. “I know you’re tense, scared, and worried. So am I, but I want you to be relaxed when you have our baby. Does that feel good?” His voice is calm and sweet.
“Mmmhmm,” I hum, my body settling into his.
I love the way he touches me. Cooper calms me, grounds me, and he makes me feel beautiful. He rains kisses on me as his hands move along my shoulders. They trail to my collar bone, down my arms and lower back, and journey up, landing on my shoulders again. My whole body sighs as his hands relax me.
“At the hospital, I want you to think positive. I get that it feels impossible,” he says, “but you need to. If you need anything, you tell me, and I’ll take care of it. I’m there for you and the baby. We’re both scared, but let’s try to stay calm. Just remember that if you’re calm, then baby’s calm.”
I nod against him and feel him smile.
“I sound like Dr. Phil or something.” He chuckles. His lips slide across my ear. “Okay, we need to get going, but I want you to keep this in mind when you’re in pain. When you feel like you want to kill me or castrate me, just remember that today’s going to be the happiest day of our lives. We’re going to meet our child, and it’s all thanks to you.”
I smile, getting ready to respond, but instead, I groan as a contraction hits me, causing me to squat. “Shit, shit, shit.” I try to breathe through it, but I feel my teeth clench and my blood pressure rise. “Go get dressed and get the bags. I need to get to the hospital. These contractions are strong, and they feel different.” My tone is slightly sharp, but anxiety swells in me hard and fast. My water hasn’t broken, but it could happen at any moment.
“Yeah, okay, let’s get you sitting down while I get everything. I’ll come back for you in less than a minute.”
“No, I need to go to the bathroom. Help me up,” I snap.
He holds back a laugh, but I see the corners of his lips twitch as he helps me stand. Once up, he sweeps me into his arms and carries me to the bathroom.
He sets me down and gives me a quick kiss. “Hurry up. You have one minute, Kylie, then I’m coming for you.”
I watch him shut the door. I turn the lock and let out a breath. I stare at my reflection, trying to instill some confidence and strength in myself. “You can do this. You can do this.”
I grip the white marble countertop and close my eyes. My body trembles, and my head drops forward. It’s almost as if, as soon as Cooper leaves, I’m weak. I feel the weight of what’s going to happen and what the baby is going to go through. Calm down… The baby kicks, giving me a moment of reassurance that everything’s okay. I take two deep breaths and look up again.
“Stay positive… Positive, positive, positive,” I whisper over and over. I shake my head and use the bathroom. I’m washing my hands when I hear a knock on the door.
“Kylie, why’s this locked?” Coop mumbles.
“Just hold on.” I dry my hands and waddle to the door. “Limits, Cooper! You don’t need to watch your pregnant wife pee. I think giving birth’s enough for one day.” I lift my brows and cross my arms.
He studies me and tucks some hair behind my ear. “I love you,” he whispers. “No matter what happens today, we’re in this together.”
I nod, and again I’m punched with a strong blast of pain. This time, it’s accompanied by a trickle of fluid running down my leg. “Oh God. My water just broke.” I grate the words out while I try to get through the sharp bite of pain.
“What?” He looks down. “Shit! When you called the doctor, what did he tell you?” He must notice my terrified expression because his turns from panicked to calm instantly.
“I… I called and told him I wanted to go into the hospital right away. He told me to wait till the contractions where closer together or my water broke. He said it’d be easier on me and assured me again that the baby was fine. He just saw us yesterday.” I feel myself spiral into the grips of panic. “Cooper,” I breathe, terrified. “I can’t do this. I really can’t.”
“Yes, you can.” He gazes at me his features bathed in understanding. He grabs a towel and cleans the fluid off my legs. “Let’s get you changed.” He drops the towel on the floor, picks me up, and moves into the bedroom, s
etting me on the bed. He goes to the closet and grabs a dress. “Come on, sweet girl, arms up,” he murmurs, helping me stand.
He grips my dress and sweeps it off my body, tossing it on the bed. He puts the new one on me. I’m entranced by the way he instinctively takes care of me. He kneels and takes off my wet underwear, replacing them with dry ones. His face is calm, cool, and collected. He goes back to the bathroom, grabs another towel, and tosses it over his shoulder.
When he’s finally done, he smiles. “Let’s go.”
I can’t move. I’m emotional, overwhelmed, and hormonal. With Cooper taking over, I’m… I don’t know. I start to cry, and then I’m asking for an ambulance because the pain is back. My body shakes uncontrollably. The contraction is fierce, and the baby moves during it, causing even more discomfort. I moan as he picks me up again and moves down the hall.
“Hold on,” he murmurs, his voice strained. “We’ll be at the hospital in five minutes.”
He sets me down at the door to the garage. We head to the Audi SUV, and I lean my head back on the headrest and shut my eyes, feeling the world spin around me. The pain has gone from mild and annoying to vicious and intense. I feel as if I’m losing my grip on reality.
Cooper hops in. “Are you okay?” There’s a hint of fear in his voice.
“I am right now,” I whisper. “It passed.”
“Good, okay… that’s good.” He blows out a breath and starts the car, putting the gearshift in reverse.
I point at the rearview mirror. “You can’t get out without opening the garage door. Unless you plan on mowing it over.”
He lets out a flustered chuckle and clicks the button. “Damn, that might help.”
I start to smile with a witty retort on the edge of my tongue, but it’s quickly erased by another contraction. “Oh, Cooper.” I clutch his arm as a moan dribbles past my lips. The pain that pierces my lower back and hips is so strong, it literally steals the air from my lungs. I want to scream, but the only thing that comes out is groaning.
“Breathe, Kylie. You have to breathe through these, baby.”
“They’re coming really fast. Why are they coming like this?” I release Cooper’s arm. A second later, I feel the car move. The pain drifts off slowly, allowing me to open my eyes.
“I don’t know. On a scale of one to ten, what did that last one feel like?”
I look at him as he stares at the road. I notice his eyes are narrowed and his shoulders are tense. He looks as stressed as I feel, but he’s keeping himself in check. His voice is calm, giving off a sense that he has everything under control.
“A ten, definitely a ten,” I say. My intuition tells me this baby will make its appearance within the hour.
“You still want something for the pain when we get there, right?” He casts a quick glance my way.
“I don’t know. It depends.”
His hand tightens on the wheel. “What? I thought we decided you were getting the epidural.”
“I want to get there first and see how things go. These contractions are strong. I have a feeling the baby’s going to come before I can get pain meds.”
He’s silent for a moment. “Yeah, okay. I’m so glad the new house is close to the hospital.”
“Me too.” I breathe and feel a little kick in my stomach. My heart beats rapidly. Jesus, I’m about to have a baby.
I push a terrified hand through my hair and try to redirect my thoughts. I feel Cooper’s eyes on me.
“You’re okay,” he whispers. “We’ll be okay, sweet girl. You’ve got this.”
“I know.” I swallow, not feeling as though I have it at all. “The baby moved.”
He smiles, his eyes lighting up. “I can’t wait to meet our child.”
I’m about to say “me too” when I feel it again. The pain radiates and pulses through my bones. It’s intense, almost crippling. I take heavy breaths as my world goes black from the pain. Cooper’s name rolls pleadingly from my lips, a desperate call to help dull the pain that won’t go away. I clutch my stomach.
“We’re almost there. Hang on, Ky.” His voice is tight.
“Oh… this is not good.”
“What?” he asks, his voice anxious.
“Oh God!” I feel burning somewhere I do not want to feel burning. I panic. Full out panic. “Cooper, get me there now.” I clutch the seat, digging holes into the leather with my nails.
“What?”
“I feel like pushing,” I grate out.
His posture turns rigid, and the car speeds up. “No, do not push. Hang on!”
“Cooper,” I cry, “it hurts.”
“Listen to me, Kylie. I know it hurts. Breathe. You have to breathe through that pain. Think of me, think of looking in my eyes. Draw strength from that till we get there. We have one more turn to go.”
I exhale as the pain recedes. “It’s passing, but there’s still pressure. I really need to push.” I’m so petrified that I feel the adrenaline spike through my blood stream, piercing my cells like a deadly drug. I hyperventilate as a panic attack enslaves me. My breathing becomes rough, labored as the world fades away.
“Kylie,” Cooper’s sharp voice pierces through the car, commanding my attention. “Look at me right now. There’s one more turn to go, baby. Open your eyes.”
With my head still turned toward his, I struggle to meet his demand. Sweat beads on my brow, and my pulse thrashes. I can’t breathe. Fear eats me alive, devouring every ounce of my flesh.
“No, baby,” he says, his voice tight. “Stay with me. Breathe. Please, Kylie, just breathe.”
I follow his orders, taking breaths every time he tells me to. I fight and fight to break through my panic. Tears drip onto my chest as I battle with everything in me.
“There you go, there you go,” he coos. “That’s right, you keep breathing like that. We’re here.”
The car stops, and he hops out. The next minute, my door is open, my seatbelt is unbuckled, and I’m moving through the hospital doors in his arms.
“She feels like she needs to push.” The words rush out of his mouth so fast I have trouble catching them.
A nurse brings a wheelchair, and he places me in it as another contraction surges.
“These are coming so fast.” I groan, the pain harsh. “I just feel…” My head drops back against the wheel chair as they rush me down the hall into a room.
“Let’s get her on the bed,” the gray-haired nurse says, looking at Cooper.
“I’m going to lay you on the bed,” he says. “I know you’re hurting. Put your arms around my neck and hang on.”
I do as I’m told. He lifts me easily and lays me across the hospital bed. My stomach is a compressed ball of muscle, mimicking the anxiety that strangles my chest.
“Hey, I see that look. Stay calm,” he orders, his tone gentle. “Everything’s fine.”
“Okay, I need to get you hooked to the monitors, and I need you to put this on.” A smile covers the nurse’s face as she hands me a hospital gown. “You’re in fantastic hands, little lady. I’ve paged the doctor already, and he’ll be here in five minutes. Let me wash my hands, get some gloves on, and we’ll see where you’re at.”
I swallow the knot in my throat. Cooper undresses me quickly, leaving me naked in a hospital gown.
“They’re coming so fast,” I whisper. “It feels like there’s no break between them.”
“How long have the contractions been going?” she asks.
“About an hour and a half now, but I’ve been having contractions all week. I went to the doctor yesterday, but I was only two centimeters.”
She slips on her gloves and gives me a kind smile. “Is this your first pregnancy?”
“No,” I breathe, the pain returning. “Oh God, it’s coming again.”
“Hang in there, Ky.” Cooper places a kiss on my head.
The nurse turns to Cooper. “I need to check her and see how far dilated she is. The doctor will be here any second. Did your wife fill out th
e pre-registration paperwork?”
“Yes.”
I grip his hand tightly, wincing through the pain.
He turns his eyes to mine and cups my face. “You’re doing so good. Just keep breathing and stay calm. I’m proud of you.”
“Jesus, this hurts like a motherfucker.”
He laughs, some of his stress momentarily disappearing. “I’m sure it does.”
“All right, let’s see what we have here. Lift your bottom and scoot down just a little.” I do as she says, my heart racing, my palms sweating. The nurse inserts her hand in me, her face creasing for a couple seconds. A huge smile pulls at her lips. “Well, you are dilated all the way, and that baby is low. Very, very low. I think he or she wants to make its grand entrance.” She winks.
My heart plummets to my feet. “Oh, I can’t do this.”
“Yes, you can, you’re doing it now,” Coop urges.
“Don’t be scared,” the nurse’s gentle tone cuts through. “You’re going to be fine. Let’s hook you up to the monitors. Once the doctor gets in, you can push, but that baby is so low, you won’t be pushing for long.” She walks over to the machines beside the bed and pulls out some belts.
My chest constricts. I’m afraid that the heart beat will somehow show the baby is in distress, or even worse—it won’t come up at all. I look at Cooper, and his green eyes lock on mine. I swallow hard, feeling my gut twist.
He cups my cheek, his eyes comforting me. “Everything is going to be okay. Have some faith, sweet girl. I know it’s hard, but have some faith that we’ll be okay no matter what.”
“I love you, Cooper,” I whisper, my heart a near mess.
“I love you, too.” He smiles, placing a soft kiss on my lips.
“All right, can you sit up for me, sweetie?” The nurse smiles. “My name is Jodie, by the way. I meant to mention that earlier.” She snaps the belts to my belly, and my heart stops, waiting for the sound I’m desperate to hear. She says, “Let’s adjust this and find this little beauty’s heartbeat.”
She moves the monitor around. After a moment, the thump, thump, thump filters through the air. It’s music to my ears. She settles me back in and moves over to the machines that keep track of the fetal heartbeat. I look over, trying to see the beats per minute on the screen. I’m desperate to know my child’s not in distress. One hundred fifty-five lights up the display. Everything in me heaves a relieved sigh. A choked sob escapes my throat before I can stop it.
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