by Mia Pride
He knew that his next words would sting Liam like a slap in the face. He stepped back and flinched before the words were even spoken. “He wished to marry his daughter to the next king. Ye said ye did not wish to be king, so he determined to make Baine king and married Gwynn to him instead.”
“Ach! By the horns of Cernunnos!” Liam shouted abruptly at his realization. “Now I am king and still not Gwynneth’s husband!” Feeling betrayed by fate, he stared at Duncan with the look of a man who just realized his life had been cruelly manipulated by the gods.
“Indeed, tis a cruel twist of fate. Ye were destined to be king all along, not Baine. And ye should have been her husband if not for your stubbornness. But, the assembly has spoken, and I have come to fetch ye back. Nobody else knows where ye’ve gone since that night. The whole tuath knows of your love for Gwynn, and they know ye went to fetch her. But nobody knows if ye found her, nor why ye’ve not come back. For all they know, ye’re hiding out in mourning, assuming her dead, which may serve to throw Baine off of her trail and stop his searching. But, for now, I promised the people I would find ye and bring ye back as their king.”
“Duncan, you said you have bad news, get on with it. Tis about Baine, is it not?” Stroking his crinkled forehead with his fingers in distress, Liam was on the edge of his patience and could no longer discuss his kingship. Knowing he could have had Gwynn as his wife from the beginning, avoiding years of aching loneliness, was eating away at his insides. Gwynneth was alone inside the house, still waiting for him to return. He felt a sudden need to end this conversation and be back with her, knowing she would have many questions. Knowing he would have to answer them.
Duncan replied quickly, feeling Liam’s haste for answers. “Aye, Baine is not pleased that the tuath made ye king, in spite of five years of expecting the title for himself. He appears to be the gracious loser to all, telling the tuath he will seek ye out and bring ye back as king, but I know better than that, Liam. Baine is coming for ye. And when he finds ye…” Duncan trailed off.
He knew by the stone cold look on Liam’s face that the rest of his words need not be said. “…He will find Gwynneth, alive, with me.” Liam said in low, reflective voice.
Duncan thought he heard a growl escape from Liam’s throat and he shrugged as he scratched his itchy, weathered scalp. “Aye. That, he will.”
Chapter 3
This was it, Liam finally admitted to himself. It was time to tell Gwynneth the truth, everything, before Baine found her first. Liam clasped Duncan’s forearm and gave him instructions to bring back to the tuath.
“Duncan, thank you for all that you have done, not only for me, but for Gwynn. You have been a loyal companion to me and I shall not forget. Go back to the tuath and tell them that I will follow shortly. I’m thankful for their loyalty and I promise to be a fair king.” Duncan nodded silently, accepting his orders from his friend and king. “However, you know I’m not yet ready to travel back, Duncan. Not until Gwynneth knows the truth, and not until we have a plan to take care of Baine. As long as he is out here searching for me, she is in danger.”
Duncan shook his head in agreement. “I will tell them. Take care of what ye need to here, but please, be quick about it. I will have to come up with a reason why ye have not returned with me, and my reason cannot involve Gwynneth. All we need is one of Baine’s loathsome companions to divulge the truth to him that she is alive and with ye.” Duncan grunted in disgust and released is own hand from Liam’s forearm as he readied himself for departure.
“Safe travels. Oh, and, well, I cannot say this nicely, so I will just say it.” Liam scrunched up his face and held his nose closed with his thumb and forefinger. “You smell as if you have rolled around in a pile of cattle shite. By all the gods, I plead with you to find yourself a creek and bathe before you return, lest you arrive to a very disgruntled wife.” Both men smiled widely and then started to laugh as they clapped each other on the back and went in opposite directions.
Bracing himself for what was sure to be an emotional, if not disastrous, discussion with Gwynneth, Liam mustered up his courage as he pushed the wooden door open and entered into the shabby, yet cozy home. It was quite warm inside with the central hearth burning continuously. The smoke from the hearth not only warmed up the house during the cold days leading up to the winter solstice, it also helped to dry and cure the meats and herbs, allowing them to be naturally preserved. They would have plenty to eat, if they were still living here by Samhain, the festival that brings in the Winter season.
Looking around, he did not immediately see Gwynneth, but his nose was introduced to the delightful smell of a pork stew brewing in the cauldron suspended above the hearth, accompanied by the savory aroma of rosemary mingling in the air. Liam suddenly realized he had not eaten all day and his stomach started to gurgle. The scent of supper was alluring and Liam continued into the house to look for Gwynn.
He turned to scan the room and then he saw her, curled up in their wooden bed on top of the pile of animal pelts with a thin gray wool blanket just barely draped across her middle and the red curtains half drawn. She was lying on her side with her eyes closed and a hand comfortably draped over her abdomen. At first, Liam thought she had fallen asleep while he was finishing up his discussion with Duncan. He was out there for much longer than he thought. The sun was slowly starting to set on the horizon as the pink and coral reflections of the dusk started to fill the house through the open door.
He shut the door quietly and walked slowly toward the bed, hoping not to wake her. Taking one more quiet step closer to Gwynn’s resting body, he could hear the soothing lull of her humming voice. Liam instantly realized she was not napping at all. She was just peacefully resting, waiting for him to re-enter the house. She seemed so at ease, trusting that she was safe with the man she believed was her husband.
A sudden, sharp stab of guilt hit him in the heart and his breath stopped short. In just a few moments, all of the truths Gwynneth had come to accept in the past fortnight would be violently ripped away from her. Remorse ran through his body like cold water in his veins. No matter how much he wanted to protect her from the truth, he knew his lies would tear Gwynneth apart.
Walking over to the edge of the bed, Liam unwrapped the ties from around his calves and kicked his worn leather boots off and leaned over to gently stroke Gwynn’s impossibly soft cheek with the back of his hand. A peaceful smile spread across her relaxed face as his hand continued to lightly stroke up and down her neck, just barely grazing her flesh. Her skin was so fair and flawless. It was almost as if the gods had sculpted her with their own expert hands.
She slowly opened her eyes and his breath caught in his chest. Her emerald eyes would never stop entrancing him. All he wanted in this lifetime was to be allowed to gaze at her, just like this, knowing that she was his. But that was not his reality, for she belonged to another. Nay, she is mine, his inner voice shouted rebelliously. She was stolen from him, on the very day of their betrothal, only to be treated foully in the end. It was his turn to love her now, and love her, he would. Nothing could stop him. Not even himself.
He vowed to make the reality they both desired a reality in truth, if she would still have him once she knew of his betrayal. “Gwynn.” He softly whispered her name in her ear just as he leaned in and swept that same unruly blonde tendril of hair from her forehead and tucked it carefully behind her ear, giving her cheek a gentle kiss. “Gwynn, I’m sorry I was outside with Duncan for so long. I have a lot of explaining to do, I know. And I am ready to answer all of your questions. Just know that everything I do is for you, to keep you safe. You are my whole world and I…”
“I know, Liam,” she whispered with a smile as she placed a finger over his lips to stop his speech. “And, I love you.” Her voice was like a whisper in the wind, so soft and light, yet it hit him harder than a fist to his gut, knocking the air from his lungs. She had not said those words to him since her accident. In fact, she had not said those words sinc
e the day before she married Baine five years ago. That she should choose them now, only moments before he revealed his betrayal, left him feeling more bereft than ever. Would she feel the same way in a moment? Just as he swallowed the lump in his throat, bracing himself to lose her love, she continued.
“I have a secret of my own.” She breathed deeply of the smoke-filled air, then released it slowly. “I have remembered…nay, not remembered, but discovered something about myself since my accident.” Just as Liam was about to put a hand on her arm in encouragement, she quickly snatched it up and gently placed it against her abdomen. With a shy smile and glistening eyes, Gwynn stared at Liam’s confused features. Only a second passed, but it felt like an eternity as she waited in quiet desperation for Liam to understand what she was wordlessly trying to communicate.
His eyes squinted in concentration and he tilted his head slightly to the side, his forehead crinkling as his eyebrows rose with understanding. “You are…but, how? I mean, h-how do you know?” He was stumbling over his words, not sure what to say, not even fully sure of what she was trying to say. Gwynn tipped her head back slightly and let out the most feminine squeal of delight he had ever heard. Her platinum hair fell back from her face and she put her hand over his, still resting on her belly, and squeezed it tight.
“I may not remember anything from before my accident, but a woman knows her body well enough to know these things!” she laughed at his shocked face, then sighed with relief. “Och, Liam! I have known for just a few days. But, I have been yearning to tell you! We are going to have a wee babe!”
She paused just long enough to see the abject horror on Liam’s handsome face as it turned an unnatural white, all blood draining away. His jaw went slack and his mouth gaped open as his heart pounded so hard in his chest that he could barely breathe, let alone speak. Only one single word formed in his brain, over and over again. It was the only sound that came out of his otherwise speechless mouth, and it was the very worst word he could have said. “Nay…”
“Liam?” her voice was suddenly low and defeated. The joy in her sparkling eyes was replaced by a visual pain and her voice changed to one of hostility. “Well, honestly! If you had been bothered enough, even once in this past fortnight to touch me, you would have been able to feel that my body has changed. My breasts have become swollen and tender. My abdomen has not expanded yet, but it is firm with the tightness of the babe growing within.”
Her voice was ragged and her tone became aggressive as her breathing increased to such a rapid pace that Liam could physically see the rise and fall of her chest. “Is it so horrible for you to know that I am carrying your child? You have not so much as kissed me since my accident. Do I disgust you? Is that why you refuse me? Did you prefer not to share my bed even before the accident?” Her voice quivered with dangerous anger bubbling just below the surface and her accusation stung him like the thorns of a thistle to his heart.
But still, Liam did not speak. He could not, not with the horrible thoughts running through his dizzy mind. His eyes were squeezed closed tightly as he sat on the edge of the bed with his elbows resting on his thighs and his head cradled in his hands. She stared at him as his thigh muscles pressed tightly against his trousers and his strong chest started to heave with apparent distress. Was it fear, or anger? Any display of emotion would be a welcome change from his uncomfortable silence.
His silent rejection made her happiness wither as a flower does in the bitter cold. Only, he was so much colder than the autumn chill outside their now unbearably stifling home. Pain filled the space within her that only moments ago was filled with joy. “I have nay memory of lying with you as your wife, Liam. But there is a babe in my womb. Of that, I am certain. I thought you would be pleased.” a heartbreaking sob shook her body as she shivered and placed her hands over her growing child. Tears rolled down her tortured face, blurring her vision.
He was still sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the fire burning in the center of the room as smoke billowed up and slowly seeped out of the thatched roof, chewing on his bottom lip in worried distress. His mind was whirling and he felt like he was going to be sick. This was the worst thing that could have happened. He felt guilty for even thinking that, seeing how much joy the babe brought her. How could he tell her he was not the father, because he had never had the privilege of making love to her, because he was not her true husband?
How could he look her in the eyes and tell her the man in her dream, that monster she feared, was not only her husband, but the father of her child? This was all too much. He could not process this, especially with her shouting at him and her heartbreaking sobs filling the room.
He could not speak, because no words could say how he felt. He could not look at her, because he knew he would break her heart and shatter her trust with the truth. Everything Gwynneth held dear would burn before her eyes into a pile of ashes at her feet, and he was the arsonist of her dreams.
Liam stood up quickly and started pacing back and forth in front of the bed. Gwynn balled up into a protective cocoon, shivers wracking her body as she sobbed into the woolen blanket that only moments ago had been a source of comfort to her. Liam was overcome with the need to storm outside, to flee into the woods and run until his lungs burned and his legs gave way beneath him. Taking a second to stare at Gwynneth curled up on the bed with tears dripping down the tip of her nose, looking more broken than she ever had before, he could not leave her alone.
The last time she had been this upset was the day she had married Baine. Liam’s realization that it was now his fault Gwynn was in this extreme emotional pain crashed down upon him in an avalanche of emotions. He could not tell her the true parentage of her child. It would surely kill her. He had to push the truth aside for yet another day, and put all of his efforts into making her happy again, even if just for a small space in time. What a tangled mess this had all become! Gwynn had been barren through five years of marriage to Baine. How could Liam have known that she was finally with child when he began this rouse?
Taking a deep breath and rubbing his aching temples, he prepared himself for the telling of more lies and convinced himself that it was his only rational choice, given her new circumstances. He had no intention of ever letting Baine near this child, so he had better absorb this new turn of events with grace, accepting the child as his own.
This was not how he ever expected to create a family with Gwynneth, but nothing had worked out as planned thus far. This was just one more curve in their already twisted love affair. He turned abruptly back toward the bed and stood over her quaking body, too afraid to touch her. “Gwynn.” His voice cracked as her name rolled off his tongue. Clearing his throat, he took a deep breath and tried again. “I am sorry I responded that way. I’m just in shock.” He ran his hands through his now spiky, sweaty hair and struggled to find the right words. How could he fix the damage he so carelessly left in his wake?
“I have already been so concerned with keeping you safe. The thought of the babe’s safety just threw me off guard. We are in hiding, from a crazed man, in an abandoned house in the middle of the woods. I suppose I was not prepared for this...” His speech was as soft as a whisper as he got down on one knee and picked up her fragile hand into his large strong fingers, running his thumb back and forth over her knuckles. “This child is a gift and I shall love it always, as I love you. Please forgive my shock. Let me lay down with you. I want to be next to you and our child.”
He lifted her hand up to his lips and placed a soft kiss, then delicately turned her hand over, rubbing her palm with his fingers, placing another gentle kiss on her wrist. Letting his mouth linger while his hot breath caressed the sensitive skin of her wrist, he looked up at her with his pleading eyes, eyes the color of the bluest ocean. Gwynn’s entire body shook as her anger and hurt released all at once from her muscles.
She sighed and visually relaxed. Liam was trying to read her expression. Had she forgiven him? Or had he caused irreparable damage? He c
ontinued to kneel before her in silence with his eyes closed as his lips continued to place small, whisper-soft kisses up the sensitive skin of her inner arm. She shivered as the flesh tingled, and he continued higher, trailing kisses all the way up until he was at the base of her slim neck.
Raising his face to hers, he placed both of his hands on her tear streaked face, wiping the salty tracks away with his thumbs. The hurt in her eyes was visibly falling away, replaced with a much calmer, more manageable emotion. She gave him a small hesitant smile and he knew he was forgiven. How could she so easily forgive him when he had been such a beast? In that moment, he understood her love for him was just as strong as his for her. The realization was heady and threatened to stretch his restraint beyond its breaking point.
His sense of honor was becoming lost in a haze of desire. Gwynneth, still lying on her back staring at him curiously, swallowed hard as her breath hitched in her chest. He could see his own desire staring back at him and he closed his eyes tightly, reveling in the evidence of her love. That was all he had ever wanted. To be her husband. To watch her expand with child. To grow old and love her endlessly.
He may not be her husband, and her child was not his…but they could be. They would be. He could have it all, right now, if only he embraced this moment. With an ardent need he had never before experienced, he breathed deeply and lowered his lips to hers, claiming Gwynn’s mouth, feeding a hunger that had built up deep within him for longer than he could even know.
Her body responded instantly to his, as if it had been awaiting this moment far longer than her mind could recall. Her need to feel loved and possessed by Liam was all-consuming, burning through her veins and heating her skin until she broke out in a sweat. Surely it had only been a short time since they had lain together, Gwynneth surmised, based upon the newly growing, yet barely noticeable child in her womb. Then why did it feel as if her soul was singing, reveling in a long awaited, suppressed release of desire for this man?