by Tabatha Kiss
“It’s beautiful,” she says, sniffing.
“It had to be,” I say. “I wasn’t about to be the guy who proposed to Roxie Roberts with an ugly ring.”
She laughs. “Makes sense.” She embraces me again, filling her lungs of me as I did with her. “Fox, if something happens...”
“You’ll be taken care of,” I say. “I’ll make sure of it.” I lean back to look her in the eye again. “Nothing will ever hurt you again, Dani. Once this is all over, I’m going to spend the rest of my life proving that to you.”
Her gaze falls for no more than a second. “I’ll wait for you,” she says. “Again.”
I kiss her, letting our lips linger for longer than necessary. “I love you, Dani,” I whisper.
She looks up at me and wipes the tears off her face. “I love you, too, Fox,” she says, her voice strong.
This is where we’d say goodbye, if this were any other day for any other purpose. But this isn’t goodbye. This isn’t a casual see you later, either. This is a pact. A promise to meet here again and be with each other forever. Goodbye doesn’t cover that. I love you, on the other hand. That does.
We let go and I walk across the bedroom to the door.
The hallway is dark and cold, a stark contrast from our bedroom in every way. I turn back to get another good look at her. She holds that smile on her face, though I know the second I walk out of here, she’ll fall to pieces. Dani is an excellent actress but I’m her biggest fan. I can see when she’s faking it.
I force my own smile and close the door behind me.
I’ll be back, Danielle Roberts.
I go down the stairs, letting my eyes wander around our home. Flashes of memory nearly knock me down to my knees. That time we made love on the staircase. How she used to peek on me in the shower. All those times I’d say her name just to hear her voice when she responded. Signs of a normal, happy life.
And friends. Hanging out downstairs with Boxcar and Caleb, catching up and drinking just a little too much. Dani snorting with laughter over stories of Caleb swindling the other soldiers at arm wrestling in the barracks.
I wish I got just a little more time to act normal. It felt pretty good.
I freeze my stride before I reach the bottom. My ears perk up. I twist my neck to point my ear in the direction of the kitchen. A soft shuffle. I know I heard it.
There’s somebody else in the house.
I reach for the gun stashed behind my back, running on pure instinct as I descend the rest of the way down. My heels touch the floor but I rely on my training to keep them quiet.
Another sound twitches my senses. A soft tapping noise. Quick and familiar.
I ease forward, using all of my stealth training to silently release the safety on my gun. There’s an exhale of breath from the kitchen counter. A cup taps down. A chair nudges along the floor.
I poke my head in, ready for anything. My finger cradles the trigger, adding a pound of pressure. Just one twitch and I’ll end whoever this is who thought he could just wander into my fucking house.
“Hey, Fox.”
I roll my eyes at him sitting at my kitchen table. “Dammit, Box...”
Boxcar barely glances up at me from his laptop and reaches for the travel cup of coffee sitting beside him.
I flick the safety back on and drop it on the table. “What are you doing here?”
“Needed someplace quiet to work,” he says. “My Boston buddy says he’ll make all the docs we need for Lucy. Just need to send him a photo ASAP.”
I nod. “And this guy can be trusted?”
“Yeah — well, I mean...” He turns up his hands. “About as much as a professional con artist can be trusted but we’ve done plenty of business together before. Should be all right. But, if not, you know... we’re probably all gonna die anyway.”
I’d expect nothing less than gallows humor from Boxcar at a time like this but I can’t blame him for it. I’m barely coping right now myself.
I glance around the kitchen. “How did you get in here? ” I ask.
“I built your security system,” he says with a shrug. “I’ll fix it before I leave.”
“Fortify it if you can, please...”
His eyes scrape the ceiling. “Dani’s staying behind?”
“Yeah, for a little bit.”
“A little bit?”
“She’s packing a bag,” I say, one ear on the ceiling. I haven’t heard her moving yet, meaning she may have gotten back into bed. I don’t want to stop to picture the tears on her face. If I do, I might not be able to stop myself from going right back up there. “She’s getting out of dodge.”
“To where?” he asks.
“Anywhere.”
“Good.” He closes his laptop with a dull thud. “Caleb can keep her company.”
I make contact with his hard, purposeful stare. “Caleb’s going to Russia,” I say.
“No, she’s not,” he says. “Caleb isn’t going with us and that’s final.”
“That’s what?” I chuckle.
“My foot is down on this one, Fox.”
“Look, man, if you’re trying to play the concerned husband card, you might as well burn it. This is Caleb Fawn we’re talking about here.”
“Oh, believe me, I’m more than a little accustomed to my wife running head-first into dangerous situations with zero regard for her own life,” he pauses, “but this is different.”
I lean forward. “Okay, I’ll bite. What’s up?”
Boxcar inhales sharply, holding it for a second before letting it go. “She’s gonna kill me for telling you this,” he says.
“Box, what’s going on?”
He clears his throat. “Caleb is pregnant.”
My lips twitch. “You’re kidding.”
“I wish.”
“That’s amazing, Box. Congrats, man.”
He furrows his brow in annoyance. “Okay, I’m going to let that last for another few seconds before you get to where I am right now.”
The knee-jerk excitement passes. My best friend is having a baby. The same best friend who happens to be the best soldier I ever served with. Her skills and insight will come in handy in the days ahead... but at what expense?
“You’re right,” I say, sitting back. “She can’t come.”
“Thank you,” he says. “Now, you go tell her that because everything I’ve said hasn’t quite gotten through to her.”
“What makes you think I can get through to her?”
“Because she listens to you, Fox.”
I scoff. “Since when?”
“Since always. Look, I’m not an idiot. I know my place in her life. I might be her husband but you’re her partner. I take full responsibility for that. I haven’t exactly been there for her the last two years, but...” He looks down. “I can’t let her go with you. When I think she will, I feel like I might vomit. Caleb Fawn is carrying my baby. I’m going to be a father...”
I stare at the dawning fear in his eyes. “You should probably stay with them, too.”
He shakes his head. “No, you need someone to watch your back. And I still sort of feel…” He pauses, exhaling hard. “I still feel responsible for this, in a way.”
“Because of Afghanistan?” I ask. He nods. “That wasn’t your fault, Box.”
“If I had stood up to Marilyn when I had the chance, you wouldn’t have been recruited.”
“We don’t know that.”
“We don’t not know that,” he says.
“If things had happened even just a little bit differently, you could be dead and they could have recruited Caleb instead,” I point out. “You ask me, things happened in the best way possible.”
He laughs softly. “Do you think she could do what you’ve done? Be a Snake Eyes agent?”
“I hope not… but put a gun to anyone’s head, you’d be surprised at what they’re capable of.”
“I hear that.” He stares at the wall behind me. “If the things I know can help — ev
en just a little bit — then I want to be there. Caleb will understand that. She may not like it but she’ll understand.”
“You sure it’s worth it?”
“I’m sure I’ll find out.”
“When did you find out?” I ask. “About the baby, I mean.”
His brow twitches, temporarily taken back. “Last night,” he answers slowly. “Just before everything went down but we didn’t even have a chance to celebrate before Archer showed up. Or, I think we would have celebrated. Haven’t gotten a straight answer from her on how she feels about it yet.” He looks at me. “How did you convince Dani to stay behind?”
I shrug. “That was easy. Dani’s not built for something like this, but Caleb...”
He slides his laptop into his bag and stands up. “Well, I’m sure you’ll think of something,” he says. “She’s in the backroom of her shop right now inventorying her guns.”
I breathe a laugh. Only Caleb Fawn would do that to chill at six in the morning.
“Box...” He pauses a few feet away. “You may have been gone for the last two years but so was I. It’s not about time spent with her. It’s what you do with it. Don’t forget which one of us banged her in the back of a jeep after three weeks in the desert.”
“Ahh,” he says, cracking a stiff smile. “Simpler times.”
He turns and walks off. After a few moments, I hear the security system chime on and the front door closes behind him.
I turn an ear to the ceiling again, hoping to hear the soft shuffle of Dani’s feet but…
No. I shouldn’t. If I hear even the slightest sniff or sob, I won’t be able to…
I stand up, boots digging into the floor as I make my way toward the front door.
A light came to me. And with it, a new life. Tomorrow, it may come to you.
She was right, in the end.
I just wish it lasted just a little bit longer.
Ten
Caleb
I was never meant to be a mother.
There. I said it.
You’d think a girl like me would have all the courage in the world to say something like that. I’ve fought in wars, for God’s sake. I’ve taken on men nearly three times my size. And won.
I am woman. Hear me roar.
Just never thought for a second that anyone would ever call me mommy.
In any case, it doesn’t matter. There’s no time to think about that right now. Fox is in trouble. His past has caught up to him and he needs my help. That’s more important. Also, my husband has officially been dragged into it, too. Cue my complete lack of surprise.
Eleven long guns. Twenty pistols of various sizes and shapes. Four hundred rounds. It’s not bad. Could be better, though. But not bad.
I glance around my shop’s backroom from my spot on the floor. There was a time when Fawn’s Pawn was the best place to go to buy and trade under the table. Sure, it wasn’t always kosher in a legal sense but it kept my water turned on. Can’t say I’m proud of it. Can’t say I regret it either.
Clearly, that part of my life is over. Can’t be an illegal arms dealer with a baby balanced on my hip.
Or can I?
I push the question away. That’s not what’s important right now.
The back exit opens and closes. A pair of boots wander in from the hall but I don’t tense up. I have an ear for movement and his walk hasn’t changed since the day I met him.
“Fox, I’m over here.”
He follows my voice and pauses in the doorway. “Hey,” he greets. His brow creases as he looks around, leaving more than a few lines between his eyes. He’s aged over the last few years. We all have, obviously, but with Fox, you can really see the bullshit he’s been through behind his expression.
“You okay?” I ask as I lay a rifle down by my side.
“Could be better, I guess,” he answers.
I push off the floor. “That’s to be expected.” I gesture around. “So, how are we doing this Boston thing? Fly or road trip? It’ll be easier to travel armed if we go by road but time would definitely be an issue…”
“Caleb,” he says, his voice falling.
“What?”
His brow creases even more. “I think it’d be best if you stayed here with Dani.”
I scoff. “Yeah, right.”
“No, I mean it.” He shifts on his toes. “This might get dangerous and you—”
“Goddammit,” I mutter, feeling a tepid rage boil beneath my skin.
“What?” he asks.
“He told you, didn’t he?”
Fox looks down. “Don’t be mad at Box, Cal. He just wants what’s best for you. To keep you safe.”
“Pretty sure I’m the only one who gets to vote on what’s best for me,” I argue.
“And I would never claim otherwise… but—”
“No buts, Fox. You can’t trust these people and I’m not letting you get dragged back down to the hell you already climbed out of.”
“I get that,” he says. “But if something happens to you, something that could easily have been avoided…”
“Ditto.”
He laughs. “I’m not making any progress here, am I?”
“Not really, no.”
“Okay.” He takes a step into the room. “How are you feeling?”
I roll my eyes. “I’m fine.”
“You know, when Box told me, I got the clearest image in my head of what that kid will look like. I don’t know about you, Caleb, but I can’t wait to meet them.”
I look down. “That makes one of us, then.”
He shrugs. “What are you scared of?”
“I’m not scared, I just...” I glance up into his knowing eyes. “Okay, fine. I’m terrified. I don’t know the first thing about parenthood. I can field strip an M16 in fourteen seconds but I have no idea how to change a dirty diaper.”
“You learned how to strip a rifle,” he says, smiling. “You’ll learn how to change a diaper.”
“And Boxcar? I mean... can you imagine him wearing a kid in one of those wrap things? Loading up a car seat?”
“Actually, yeah.”
I squint. “Come on.”
“Really. I can,” he says. “I think Boxcar deserves a little more credit than you give him. He might not be teaching anyone how to throw a football but he’ll step up when necessary.”
I pause mid-pace and lean my back against the wall. “Or he’ll take off again.”
He shakes his head. “No, he won’t.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I’d shoot him and he knows it.”
I laugh. “Good point.”
Fox shifts closer to stand beside me. “Box is going to be great dad,” he says. “You are going to be a great mom. And I am going to do everything I can to make sure that happens.”
I glare at him. “Fox...”
“Caleb, there are two people in this world that I would travel to the ends of the earth and back for. One is Dani, that goes without saying. The other is you.” He stares at me with a deep desperation in his tone. “We’ve fought together, bled together. You were my family when I didn’t have one. The last thing I want is for you to get hurt.” He cracks a smile. “And hey, when all of this is over, who knows? Maybe your kid will grow up with my kid. That doesn’t sound so bad, right?”
My lips twitch as the image creeps into my mind. “Sounds pretty neat, actually.”
He wraps a thick arm around me. “I want you by my side during a mission more than anybody else but I’ll sacrifice that if it means protecting that future, Caleb.”
I rest my head on his shoulder and falling right where he wants me to. He’s right. Of course he is. As much as I think I got this, I don’t. Being pregnant hasn’t quite sunk in yet. It will. It could at any time. I could freeze up and second guess my actions. That could mean life or death in battle.
“I need you to do me a favor,” he says.
I pull back to look at him. “Anything,” I say.
Fox reaches behind him and withdraws a small stack of passports and IDs from his pocket. “Dani is heading toward the impound lot of Olympic Boulevard.”
“Why?” I ask.
“She’ll explain everything,” he says, holding the IDs out for me to take, “but I’ll feel better about it if you went with her.”
“Went where?”
His head tilts and I nod.
“She’ll explain,” I repeat. “I got it.” I study my own photo staring back at me from the ID and passport. “Whoa, these are well-made,” I say, admiring the handiwork.
He shrugs and puts the others back in his pocket, ones I assume are for him and Boxcar. “I’ll see you again soon,” he says.
I inhale a deep breath, my instincts bouncing like crazy. This isn’t right. None of this is as it should be. Feels so utterly hopeless.
“Take care of my husband, Fox,” I say. “Please.”
“I will,” he says with a nod. “Take care of my future wife.”
I chuckle, exhaling softly. “Sorry your engagement party got canceled.”
“Eh, we’ll reschedule it.”
“Did you end up proposing to her anyway?” I cringe. “Even with, you know… everything.”
He nods, his face blank. “I did.”
“What’d she say?”
“Not yes, I think.”
“Did she like the ring, at least?” I ask.
He laughs. “She did.”
I shrug. “Told ya. All those Hollywood girls love the vintage crap.”
“Yeah, you were right. Thank you.”
“Happy to help.”
The back opens again and I hear Boxcar’s manic shuffle bolt up the stairwell. I look at Fox as his eyes follow the movement up the thin walls.
“I should go meet Dante,” he says.
He makes it sound so casual, as if he wasn’t about to go hang out with a family of psychos.
“Please be careful,” I tell him.
“Hey, you know me,” he says.
“Exactly.”
He smirks. “You don’t have to trust them, Caleb. Just trust me.”
“I do.” I gesture around the walls of my backroom from the doorway. “Take whatever you think you’ll need.”
He nods as our eyes shift upward, following Boxcar’s frantic pacing along the second floor.