Sammie brought her chin up. Seeing him standing there, vulnerability marring his masculine looks, guilt plagued her. This wasn’t how she wanted him to find out. Would he ever understand that she left Colton to save him a lot of heartache?
“I guess you’ve decided that helping out here is bad news.”
“No, I’m staying, but you need to tell me the truth. I deserve the truth,” he told her in a grave voice.
Getting up from the barn floor, she walked over to a bale of hay and dropped down, tucking tendrils of hair behind her ear. She could no longer hide the secret she carried around for nine years. She could run away again, carrying her baggage with her and never come back. Yet, she couldn’t leave the ranch the way things were, not for her daddy as much as for her mom who would want Sammie to stay and make things right.
Rubbing her eyes, she sighed. “It’s a lot to handle. Make sure you’re ready to hear it.”
“At this point, what other choice is there?”
“Have a seat, it might take a while.”
He pulled up a bale and sat. “Now tell me. What about the baby? Did you give him or her up for adoption? Did you have an abortion?” There was a raspy tone to his words.
“I was pregnant. I lost it.” She was surprised her lips didn’t turn numb. “This is the first time I’ve spoken the words for years.”
“You didn’t tell me? How did your father know?”
“So much for patient confidentiality. The doctor’s office had called and I wasn’t home. They gave daddy the news that I was indeed pregnant. When I came home that night, it was late and all I wanted to do was fall into bed, or even fall into daddy’s arms and tell him…” she shook her head. “What had happened the night before in the barn. All I needed was a bit of provocation, acceptance, like mom would have given me. Instead, he immediately accused me of ruining my life. Demanding that I tell you the news and we would have no choice but to get married. He told me, “Only bad girls get pregnant out of wedlock”.” She laughed, but it sounded cold even to her ears.
“I don’t understand.” Wes’s eyes narrowed and his skin paled. “Is this why you left?” He settled his elbows on his knees and clasped his large hands tight, his knuckles white.
“No…yes…part of the reason.” The words seemed to glue themselves to the roof of her mouth.
He blew out a long breath. “I’m listening. You said something happened in the barn.”
“There’s so much you don’t understand.”
“Try me,” he encouraged.
“I wanted to tell you, Wes, that I suspected I was pregnant. I had to be sure first so I had gone to the doctor. That night I was outside taking care of the horses, my mind reeling over what I’d do if I was pregnant, and then suddenly I was no longer alone. I had been so caught up with my thoughts that I didn’t hear him come in.” Her throat constricted and she swallowed. Now that the words were out she had to stay focused, continue to spill everything. “I saw him standing in the shadows and at first I was confused, but it became clear what he intended to do. I could tell by his blank eyes and tight fists.”
“Who is ‘he’?”
She met his gaze for a mere second then, looked away, watching the cat nibble at the sausage. “Logan.”
“Logan?” Wes sat straight, dragged off his hat, and tossed it aside. Dangerous lines appeared around his eyes and mouth.
“I-I warned him that if he didn’t leave, I’d tell you—I’d tell daddy, but he had been drinking and I could smell the liquor strong on him. I’d never seen him drunk before. I didn’t realize how upset he’d been over you and I dating until then, although he and I had nothing. I didn’t realize he and his dad had gotten into an argument, leaving Logan full of anger. He didn’t like being duped by me and he made that clear.”
“He was one of my friends. He could drink at times, we all did, but he never said anything to me. He never let on that he was hurt.”
Sammie leaned against the wall. “I didn’t think he was upset either. He and I had only gone out twice, more friends than anything. Something triggered in him and adding alcohol intensified his emotions. I tried to walk away, but he blocked my path. I even tried screaming but his hand over my mouth stopped me. He was strong—stronger than me.” She was numb. The words flowed like water. “Before I could manage anything, he had me on my back and on the ground. He was on top of me and I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do anything because he was remarkably strong.”
Wes jumped up, his eyes turning three shades darker and his lips set in a harsh line. “What the hell?” He gripped his hands into fists.
“Please, Wes. Sit. I can’t stop now.”
With a disgruntled sigh, he sat back down, but the severity in his face didn’t subside.
“If he’d had his way, things would have gone terribly bad, but because he was two sheets to the wind and his responses were weak, I was able to finally wriggle a bit and grab the first thing I came to, which happened to be the feed bucket I had dropped. I hit him over the head hard and he went limp. I didn’t worry about him, and I ran as fast as I could into the house and hid inside of my bedroom, waiting until morning finally came. I didn’t know how seriously I had hurt him, and I feared that I had killed him, but he was gone in the morning and no one said anything. That day I was supposed to see you, but I made an excuse that I wasn’t feeling well.”
He nodded. “I remember. I also remember Logan had told me he’d fallen and that’s how he’d gotten the cut on his head.”
“Then the next day, the phone call, daddy’s anger. It was all too much. I knew he was only worried about my future, and I knew my world had changed. I was old enough to make my own decisions, but what I couldn’t do was tell you about Logan. I knew what you would do and I couldn’t bear thinking you’d do something that couldn’t be taken back.”
He rubbed his jaw. “Logan looked rough. He had a knot the size of an egg on his forehead. I tried to get him to see a doctor, but he blew it off as nothing. After that, he was different, drank himself into oblivion every night and our friendship fizzled. I had no clue, Sammie. I would have killed him with my bare hands.”
She met his gaze. “I know you would have and that’s why I couldn’t tell you. I couldn’t take the chance that you and daddy would risk going to prison. I was young and uncertain of what I should do. I promise, I didn’t plan to keep the baby away from you. I only needed time to figure things out. To gain control over myself to figure out what to do.”
“The baby. What happened exactly?”
“I lost our child not soon after I arrived in Chicago to stay with a college friend. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, they did. I picked up the phone to call you, but each time I did, all I could see was Logan’s hateful expression and his blank eyes as I struck him on the head. I didn’t know if he’d tell you, but I was at a cross between wanting him to and not wanting you to know what happened. I wondered if you’d see me the same way.”
“How was I so blind? How did I not see?”
“How would you have had a clue, Wes? He was your friend since you both were kids. And the baby…well, there would have been no way for you to know.”
“It was my responsibility. I should have known, protected you from Logan. I should have held you when you needed me most.” He tore a hand through his hair, sending ebony waves throughout the thick mass. “I should have gone after you,” his whispered words struck her in the stomach.
“You saw it as me leaving you, but that wasn’t true. Leaving was the hardest thing I had to do, and then before I knew it, a year had passed. Three. Four. Then nine. None of this was because of you.” Her hands trembled and, to hide them, she wrapped her arms over her chest. “I haven’t told you all this because I want your pity or sympathy. Please, that would be unbearable.” She looked at him through her lashes.
“I don’t pity you. I only…”
She could see that he grappled with the right words. “It has taken a few years, but I’m
okay. I really am. When I found out that Logan had been killed in the accident, I knew he could never haunt me again. There would be no chance of ever seeing him again. I’ve even realized that I might never find a relationship, but I want a child. Before you called, I had been seeing someone, but we weren’t close and I knew we never would be. I had considered artificial insemination, missing the baby we could have had and wanting another chance to have another.”
“Sweetheart, you deserve to be held warmly while a man leaves his seed inside you.”
She gulped air. His words ignited a flame inside her. “Oh, Wes. I’m so sorry.”
“Just don’t leave here, Seesaw.” His words were filled with emotion.
“I’m not leaving. I won’t allow daddy to push me away again. Mom would want me to be here to help. As cantankerous as he is, I love him and I know he loves me in his own way.”
“I won’t defend him, but a man like Lucas hides his emotions away. It’s hard for him to say exactly what he’s feeling. He’s a stubborn, hard headed man that needs a wake-up call.”
Sammie stood, trying to smile, although she was still sore inside. “You said you needed to leave by one. I’m sure it’s after that so you should go and take care of business. I’ll be at Second Chances to watch Brie. No worries.” She swiped the hay off her bottom.
He hesitated, his lips parted as if he had something to say, but he must have thought better. She didn’t want things to be awkward between them so she hoped he sucked up what she’d told him and they could go on. He nodded. “I’ll see you this evening.”
CHAPTER TEN
Weston strolled across the dirt yard, the light in the windows of his house beckoning him. Since Sammie had told him about the baby, and Logan, two days ago he’d been on edge. His brothers had complained more than once that he’d been biting their heads off. He agreed. He’d been as irritated as a horse with a wasp on his ass.
He couldn’t believe he’d been so stupid as not to see there was more to the story nine years ago than Sammie simply leaving. Why had he been so stupid? Why had he overlooked the obvious? His heart ripped in two, images of her in the barn with a drunken Logan like acid to his system. Sammie was right, Weston would have wrung Logan’s neck. Hell, Lucas would have shot him. Logan had known the risk of staying in town and that was why he’d eventually taken off with a vague excuse that he’d landed a job on an oil rig. Sure, the bastard had landed a job all right, but that wasn’t the real reason he’d left the town where he’d grown up.
Weston’s hands were tied. Nothing worse than not having the control to fix something that needed fixed. But Sammie didn’t want him to fix things. She wanted things to be normal, whatever normal was these days.
He wanted to be angry with her for not telling him about the baby, even after the miscarriage. He would have been there for her, but she hadn’t wanted him around. How could he begin to understand what she must have been feeling? He had no clue.
The only thing he knew to do now was make things up to her. Help her in whatever she decided to do with Tanner Ranch.
Climbing the steps to the back porch, he strolled through the screen door and stopped. Brie was laughing from the living room. He hadn’t heard such a sweet sound in so long. Stepping over to the doorway, he peered in, finding Sammie and his daughter sitting on the floor playing a board game. Neither of them knew he was watching.
Sammie’s deep pink T-shirt fit nicely against her chest and the black running shorts had scooted high on her slender hips. Tendrils of dark hair had loosened from the long braid pulled over her shoulder. My God, how was it that she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid his eyes upon? Watching the scene before him, he wondered what things would have been like if she hadn’t lost the baby. What if Logan hadn’t ruined things and she’d stuck around? Would they be married now with a daughter much like Brie and living happily as husband and wife? He’d always believed that fate played a person’s hand as was fit, but what he wouldn’t give to play that hand over again.
But then there wouldn’t be Brie and that tugged at his heart.
“Daddy!” His girl jumped up from the floor and raced across the room, flailing into his arms. “You’re home!”
He picked her up and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Am I interrupting a fun game?”
“Yes! We’re playing Chutes and Ladders. Sammie read me a book too and we ate tacos. Why don’t we have Spanish food more often?”
“You mean Mexican? I promise we will.” He winked.
“As she’s told you, she’s eaten dinner and she’s had her bath, but I thought you wouldn’t mind if she stayed up and waited for you to get home.”
Weston brought his gaze past his daughter’s shoulder and onto the very woman who had been in his thoughts all day. “I’m sorry. I’m later than expected. What should have been a two-hour job turned into four discussing a dozen things. In the end, this Nirvana project will pay off and I can take some time off. Anyway, thank you for feeding my girl.” He expected there to be some discomfort between them, but Sammie seemed fine…more than fine, at least from his vantage point.
“We had fun, didn’t we, Brie?”
The little girl nodded dramatically. “We did each other’s hair and nails. Look, daddy! Do you like her braid? I did it!” Brie could barely contain her excitement.
“I do. It’s pretty.”
Brie giggled. “Can she come back, daddy. Can she? Can she?”
“I’m okay with her coming back as long as she’s okay with helping.” He caught Sammie’s gaze just before he lowered Brie to the floor.
“Of course. I did make a promise that we would make s’mores the next time I come,” Sammie smiled and her eyes lit up.
“Then you will see her soon. I wouldn’t want to stand in the way of s’mores making. Brie, why don’t you run upstairs and brush your teeth and I’ll be up shortly to tuck you in.” He kissed her on the forehead.
“Will you read me Charlotte’s Web?”
“Yes, I’ll read to you, but only a few pages. It’s late.” He smiled.
She raced up the stairs and the pitter-pattering of her feet echoed all the way down the hall.
“Thank you again for staying so late.”
She shrugged. “It was my pleasure. It kept me from being at home. Daddy goes to bed early and then I’m left twiddling my thumbs.”
“I just don’t want you to feel as if I’m taking advantage of your time.” Why was he so damn nervous, and apologetic?
“Wes, stop apologizing. This is what we agreed to. She really is a wonderful child. You’ve done a wonderful job raising her.”
He shrugged. “My brothers have helped. She has managed to wrap all of us around her tiny fingers.”
“One little lady among all you men, I’m sure she did.” Her skin was glowing. She looked over at the clock on the mantel. “I should be leaving. It’s getting late and I’m sure you’ll want to get her into bed.” She slid her feet into the flip flops sitting by the couch.
He wanted to say something, anything to get her to stay a while longer, but what would he use as an excuse? He couldn’t very well ask her to stay because he craved her company. His mind was still reeling when she stopped at the front door and waved at him.
“Sammie…?”
“Yes?” She looked up at him.
They were standing so close that he could feel the warmth from her body. His hand turned clammy. “See you in the morning?”
“Yeah. I’ll be there with bells on.”
“Boots will do just fine.”
She smiled and left.
He inhaled sharply, catching the bit of her amazing scent lingering in the air.
“Daddy? Are you coming?” Brie yelled from at the top of the stairs.
“Coming now. Hold your horses.”
*****
Up at dawn, with a thermos of coffee in hand, Sammie made her way down to the stables. She wasn’t sure why she was so happy this morning because nothing had re
ally changed in her situation, but there was a new peace in her.
Just as she’d suspected he would be, Wes was already in the barn. He stood next to a beautiful black gelding, smoothing his hand down the horse’s back as he reached for something in his pocket. She realized it was a slice of apple. The horse gently took it from his open palm. She enjoyed watching how Wes was very affectionate with the horse. There was certainly a bond between man and beast.
Her skin tingled as she imagined him giving her the same treatment.
West raised his head and met her gaze. “Good morning.” He tipped his hat and grabbed the horse’s reins.
“He’s beautiful.”
“Yeah, this is Brownie.”
“Brownie?” She laughed.
“Brie named him.”
“If you say so,” she teased.
“I rode him over this morning because I’m going to have the hands ride out with me to the east pasture to check the cattle for pink eye and foot rot. I figured you’d want to go too.”
“Really?” His invitation caught her off guard.
“Of course. It’ll do you good to see how things are handled around a ranch.” He smiled and his dimples deepened. Damn, she had a hankering to kiss those beautiful, smiling lips, but she needed to control herself. He was the best sex she’d ever had, but she didn’t plan to find out if he still had the moves.
Inhaling, she forced her eyes to the horse and nuzzled his head. “I’d love to go out with you all. Give me a minute and I’ll saddle up one of the horses.”
“No worries, Sammie. I’ve already taken care of it for you,” Braise said as he stepped in. “That pretty mare you’ve had your eye on is waiting for you outside. Lucas is on the gelding.”
She had been sipping her coffee when she heard the words and she almost choked. “Daddy is out here?”
Braise nodded. “He was out here before I made it.”
“I’m shocked.”
“Well, drink up, girly, and come on. I remember the girl who never turned down a ride into the pasture.”
Weston's Trouble (Saddles & Second Chances Book 3) Page 11