My gaze follows him with my mouth agape. “Me? What?”
“Oh, and I’ll need you to help pick out decorations, too. Only a tree sitting in the middle of my living room? It’d look naked and lonely as hell. Hey, how’d you find out where I lived anyway?”
Blinking, at the sudden change in the direction of the conversation, I smile. “Resha.”
He tilts his head to the side and looks so cute. I stand and move over to him, kissing him on the lips.
“When you wouldn’t answer my calls last night, I called Resha. She left her number on the paper she’d written her address on. I asked if you were still there. She said you went home, but before I hung up, she gave me your address.”
“I’m going to have to talk to my sister-in-law about giving out my damn address to strangers.”
He laughs when I push at his shoulder.
“Since when am I a stranger?”
I gasp in surprise as he pulls me down onto his lap.
“Since never, J.”
Chapter 14
“I can’t believe I’ve been letting you take me out to restaurants this whole time while you’ve been hiding your ability to cook like this,” I squeal as I take another bite of the garlic beef enchiladas Mark made us for dinner.
He chuckles, wiping his mouth. “I couldn’t show you what I had up my sleeve right off the bat, baby. You might try to move in and never leave. It’s happened before.”
“Is that right? Some skeezer you had up in here tried to move in after tasting your cooking?”
“More than one.” He wiggles his eyebrows.
“Ho,” I say, and throw my napkin at him.
He tosses his head back as he laughs. I can’t peel my gaze away from him.
It’s been more than a week since Thanksgiving, and not a day has gone by that Mark and I haven’t seen each other. After I went home to check on my mother the day after our first night together, I made it back over to Mark’s, and as promised, he took me shopping for holiday decorations and a tree. Hours later, we sat on his couch, spent, while the fireplace roared as we gazed up at the tree.
“Don’t be jealous, J. There’s more than enough of me to go around,” he says as he moves around the table, pulling me into an embrace and nuzzling my neck.
“Stop, you know I’m too damn ticklish there.” I push at his shoulders to break away before I burst out in a fit of uncontrollable laughter.
“Oh, I forgot,” he lies.
“Whatever.” I roll my eyes because there’s no way Mark forgot a damn thing. He’s more adept at reading my body than even I am sometimes.
“What movie are we watching tonight?”
He shrugs. “Why don’t we go out to that neighborhood I told you about that has the decoration contest going on?”
It’s a Friday night, and our work is done for the week. Finally. This deal with Cypress and Townsend is in its final stages before the announcement. Mark and I are still putting in the extra hours every Tuesday through Thursday after work, and all is going well. We could both use this night off to enjoy one another’s company.
“That sounds like fun. Let’s do it.”
“Nice.”
Grinning, I love how much of a kid in a candy store he looks. It’d been a bit of a stressful week for the both of us with this merger. Things were going well, but everyone could feel the pressure of the anticipation of this announcement. For me, it felt as if everything I was working toward hinged on this merger going through. My relationship with Mark, securing the house for my mother with my bonus, and finally getting out from under my father’s thumb.
“Hey, you still with me?”
Blinking, I turn to Mark, who’s looking at me with a curious expression.
“What’s going on?”
I start to shake my head, but he cuts me off. “Don’t tell me nothing. We’ve kept enough from one another over the years, don’t you think?”
Blowing out a sigh, I say, “I was just thinking about work.”
It’s not a lie, I remind myself.
“There’s so much stress around the offices of Cypress.”
“Yeah, we’re feeling it at Townsend, too.”
“I bet.”
“Aaron really wants this deal to go through, but he’ll walk away from it quicker than a prepubescent boy can come his first time seeing a Playboy magazine if it’s not right.”
“What?” I burst out laughing.
Mark shrugs with that cute grin on his handsome face. “You know what I’m saying. Luckily, there haven’t been any more hiccups since the explanation of those fishy numbers.”
“Yeah, but it cost Cypress.”
“They should’ve been upfront from the beginning.”
“They should’ve. Hopefully, it won’t affect my bonus.”
“What?”
“Nothing. I need to grab my coat.” We’d met at Mark’s place after work for dinner, even though today wasn’t one of our typical days in which we’d meet at Townsend for another merger meeting.
My whole drive over here, I asked myself if I was making the right decision. I tried to remind myself that it was only a few more weeks before everything settled. The merger would go through with Townsend. I’d get my expected bonus from Cypress, and I’d be able to put down enough money on the house to take it over from my father’s estate. That way, I could grant Mama full ownership, and she’d be able to live there in comfort, and I wouldn’t have to hide my relationship with Mark from anyone.
“After you,” he says, holding his door open.
I stare into his hazel eyes, and everything inside of me warms.
Yeah, only a few more weeks of keeping secrets
She’s still holding back. I can feel it in my gut.
“You’re quiet tonight,” I say, trying to encourage her to open up about whatever’s on her mind. I thought we’d gotten all the hard shit out of the way when she told me about what happened the night of my accident.
When she told me, there wasn’t one part of me that felt any anger or malice toward her. Hell, I was the fool who decided to have a little too much to drink that night and lean on an old banister in an abandoned house. The truth was, I was trying my best to look cool in front of her. That was the night I was planning on giving her a ring my mother had given me. Needless to say, I never got the chance.
She turns to me, smiling. “Just enjoying the scenery.” She pauses and looks up from the pavement, and her smile widens as two children run past us, pointing at a house across the street that’s all lit up.
“You want some hot chocolate?” she asks.
“Sure.”
She steps off the sidewalk and heads for the woman dressed up as one of Santa’s helpers, behind the red and white booth. I watch as she orders two steaming hot chocolates and then brings them over to me.
“They didn’t have any marshmallows.” She frowns.
“No problem. Too much sugar anyway. The holidays tend to mess up my physique,” I tease, patting my belly with my free hand.
She giggles and rolls her eyes. “Which house is your favorite?”
I look up and down the block we’re on. All around, people walk along the sidewalks and street. The entryways are blocked off, so cars can’t get through, allowing people to meander about and take it all in. The people in this neighborhood went all out to decorate.
“That one.” I jut my head forward.
“Really?”
“Yeah, what’s wrong with it?”
She tilts her head to the side. “Nothing’s wrong. It’s just a little bland compared to the rest.”
I stare at the house I’ve pointed out. It’s a pretty spacious family home, with what appears to be three levels. The brick siding stands out from behind the white snowmen family in the front yard. The family of snowmen surrounds a large snow globe with a scene of snow falling on children inside. The house has yellow lights strewn along the gutters of the home, but aside from that, there’s very little other decoration, save
for a vast white wreath on the front door.
“That’s what I like about it. The other houses are cool, but it looks as if that family made that scene specifically to portray themselves.”
Jackie moves closer, placing one of her arms around my shoulders and leaning her hip against my chair. I wrap my free arm around her waist, holding her to me.
“How so?” she asks, peering down at me.
“Well, they came out earlier. They have two little boys and a little girl; five people, the same number of snowmen in the yard. They dressed each of them up to represent a member of the family. The parents and each of the kiddo snowmen stand around watching the scene inside of the globe. A perfect representation of them, I would guess.”
“Hm … I see it now. It’s still not my fave. Oop! Mark, you almost made me spill my hot chocolate on you,” she cries when I surprise her by pulling her onto my lap.
“Maybe one day you’ll stop being surprised when I do that.”
“Or, you’ll stop surprising me like that.”
I kiss the tip of her nose. “Don’t bet on it, J.”
I enjoy having her in my lap too much to stop doing this.
She rolls her eyes and adjusts herself to get comfortable in my lap. “That way.” She points down the block. “I want to show you which house is my fave.”
“Away we go,” I say as I begin rolling us farther down the block, right in the middle of the road, like everyone else.
“Oh, my goodness. I love this song,” she excitedly declares as Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas” begins playing on the loudspeakers.
Groaning, I roll my eyes. “Does this mean we’re going to have to watch that fucking movie again?”
“Love Actually? Hell yeah,” she giggles.
We watched the film the previous weekend after decorating my place. For most of the week after work, we found ourselves at my apartment, eating dinner in front of the television, watching yet another one of those Hallmark or Lifetime Christmas movies.
“And stop pretending like you didn’t enjoy it. I saw you tearing up at the end during that airport scene.”
“First of all, I have late seasonal allergies. Those tears were nothing more than an allergic reaction. Secondly, which house is your favorite, lady? You're heavy.”
“Oh my gosh, am I? Stop, let me get off.”
I laugh and keep pushing. “I’m just messing with you. I can’t even feel your weight.”
She gives me a pointed glare, causing my laughter to increase.
“Stop. It’s this one.” She points to the house at the end of the cul de sac. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” She sighs.
The house is massive, the largest one on the block, but there’s a homey feel to it. The white and grey siding and a candle in each of the windows give it an inviting feel. The owners of this home have gone all out. Colorful lights blink in time with the beat of the holiday music that blares out of the speakers tucked behind the small Christmas trees on either side of the doorframe.
“This is how I want to decorate my own home when I have a family.”
“When we have a family,” I declare.
Jackie turns to look me right in the eye.
I don’t turn or look away because I mean that statement with every fiber of my being. Even with knowing she’s hiding or holding something back from me, I’ve never been more sure of anything.
“What did you just say?”
“You heard me the first time.”
She visibly swallows. “Mark—”
“You want a family, don’t you?”
She nods slowly, cupping her hands in front of her.
“With me?”
Yes, I know it’s only been a few weeks since she’s been back in my life. We were teenagers the last time we knew each other. We’ve both grown up, but even after everything we’ve been through, separately and together, I know she’s it for me.
“Mark, I— Watch out,” she blurts, suddenly, her eyes ballooning as she gapes at something over my shoulder.
I turn and duck in time to let a Nerf football sail directly over my head.
“Andy, we told you about throwing that ball around,” a woman yells as a boy appearing to be no older than ten or so runs past me to retrieve his ball from the ground.
“Sorry, mister,” he says contritely, peering up at me.
“Andy, let’s go. So sorry about that.” His harried mother rushes over, giving me a sympathetic expression before grabbing her son’s arm.
I watch as she tugs him away.
He turns to me, his face turned up in curiosity. “Mom, how does someone end up in a wheelchair?”
I watch as his mother’s cheeks flush in embarrassment. Her gaze quickly flickers over to me before moving back to her son. “Shhh, don’t be rude,” she whispers.
Turning my chair to face them, I say, “People end up in wheelchairs in all types of ways.” They stop and turn to me, the boy angling his head as if I have his rapt attention. I roll closer, making eye contact with him.
“Some are born needing a little extra assistance.”
“Is that what happened to you?”
“Andy.” His mother tugs his arm.
I raise my hand and head to peer up at her. “It’s okay. He’s just curious.” Looking back to the young boy, I answer, “No. I was able to walk until I took a pretty nasty fall over a staircase.”
His face drops. “I’m sorry.”
I shake my head. “Yeah, it sucked for a while and took a long time to get used to, but I’ve got a great life. You see this woman right here?” I wrap my arm around Jackie as she’s moved next to me. “This is the woman who saved my life that night. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for her.”
Pausing, I turn my head to look up at Jackie, whose watery eyes connect with mine. “And I’m gonna marry her one day soon.”
Her mouth opens, and her eyes bulge. There’s fear and hesitation in her expression, but I can also see love. I can read her emotions like an open book.
I turn back to the boy. “You enjoy your holidays, kid.”
He smiles wide. “You too, mister. Bye.” He waves and runs off ahead of his mother.
She gives me a smile and a nod of gratitude before trailing behind her very active son.
“You were so patient with him.”
“I have all the patience in the world when something matters to me. That includes you, too.”
She shakes her head, looking down at the ground. “I don’t know that I’m deserving of your patience, Mark.”
The words are said so low, and I can’t quite hear them over the growing music and the people around us.
When I finally do make out what she’s said, I tell her, “You’re lucky as hell I can’t walk because I might go searching for the son of a bitch who put those thoughts in your head and beat his ass.”
She huffs. “Even if he’s dead?”
“I’d find some way to bring him back to life so I can send him to hell again.”
She shakes her head at the same time I pull her onto my lap.
Jackie sighs as she rests her arm around my shoulders. “You’re a little insane. You know that, right?”
“I do.”
She presses her lips to my cheek. I warm in every part of my body where there’s feeling. Being around her always has that effect on me, yet I know there’s still an elephant in the room. And though I know it’s our destiny for us to be together, we can’t move forward, not truly, until it’s out in the open.
Chapter 15
The same dreadful feeling that I woke up with this morning has been with me all day long. It’s approaching five-thirty in the evening, and as I sit across from Mark in this all too familiar Townsend Industries boardroom, I can’t stop my eyes from searching him out.
He’s always had a pull on me. Whenever we were in a room together, I’d easily find him. All these years later, it’s still the same way. However, now, it’s as if he’s my anchor when things start f
eeling out of my control. Or maybe, it’s just the feeling of anxiety that comes when you’re nearing your end goal. Something you’ve worked hard for and planned. The end is in sight, and freedom approaches, and yet, time still stands between you and it.
My mind has taken to imagining all of the things that could go wrong in the next few days. How Aaron Townsend could suddenly decide to pull out of this merger. How Cypress management could choose to forego the bonus they promised me at the start of this job. Or worse than the previous two, my uncle or the wrong person finds out about my relationship with Mark, and everything could be snatched out from underneath my feet.
I keep thinking about Mark’s words the previous weekend. About him marrying me and us having a family. Standing there, facing him with the Christmas lights streaming all around us, families walking about, and that look of adoration on his face, I wanted to yell out, “Yes! That’s what I want, too, and you’re exactly who I want it with.” But I had to bite my tongue. I had to keep from saying the words I wanted to shout from the rooftops. Exactly as I’d done for most of my life out of fear of retribution.
Our first time around, I promised Mark things that I was too young and naïve to realize I couldn’t keep. It almost broke me in half when I had to break those promises. I can’t do that a second time around.
“Penny for your thoughts.” His deep voice pulls at me, tearing me away from my thoughts.
I grin. “Not sure my thoughts are worth that much.”
His smile drops, and my belly turns, knowing I’ve said the wrong thing.
“You’re still holding back.”
When I open my mouth to respond, he lifts his hand, shakes his head, and then leans in.
“I’m only letting you hold back until after this merger goes through.” His intense gaze sweeps the room. We’re the only two people in here, as everyone else left about twenty minutes ago.
I let out a relieved breath. “After New Year’s, we can talk. I’ll be ready then,” I say. The announcement of the merger happens on New Year’s Eve. That’ll ensure my bonus with Cypress and, thus, the money I need to purchase my mom’s home. With that, I can be free from my father’s manipulations. “Just a few more days,” I say since the date is December 22nd.
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