by Tara Shuler
Oh, this is not going to turn out well, I thought suddenly. Being trapped in an enclosed space with a human was not a good idea, especially since I hadn’t fed in several days. I’d eaten before I left for the mall, but I hadn’t had blood in days. I began to feel very uncomfortable. I felt a nauseating growl in the pit of my stomach, and I began to sweat. I clutched at the collar of my sweater and tried to pull it away. It felt like it was choking me.
“Are you okay?” Max asked.
I looked up at him, and his eyes were startlingly compelling. They were almost black, and they searched my own deeply. His face was inches away from mine, and his breath was hot on my forehead. I tried to look away, but one of his strong hands reached out and I felt his fingers grasp my chin and pull me back toward him.
I felt my breath quickening, and I could scarcely move. His face inched closer to mine, and I felt his soft lips brush against my forehead so lightly it was almost imperceptible. His breath was so warm – so rapid. I began to tingle, and a shiver ran down my spine.
“Alice…” he said gently.
“Max…” I whispered. “I…”
Before I knew what was happening, he wrapped me in his strong arms and enveloped me in a kiss. His lips pressed against mine, firm, but soft. I wanted to fight him off, but I couldn’t. My body would not move.
I felt his fingers wrap in my hair, and he pulled my head back. His lips fell to my neck, and I felt him breathing on my skin. My skin crawled with goose bumps, and I felt a warmth growing deep within me. Kai had never kissed me this way. It was almost primal.
Kai! I’d forgotten all about him for a moment! I struggled to push Max away, and I backed into the corner of the elevator to escape him.
“Max, stop!” I gasped. “I can’t do this!”
“Alice, don’t fight it,” he pleaded. “You know you don’t want to fight it!”
“Max, I…” I started to say. “I… I have a boyfriend.”
Max’s face fell. I don’t know why, but I’d never told anyone from school about Kai. He was my little secret, I guess – a kind of guilty pleasure. There were rumors about Kai and me, but most people had no idea who he was.
“Do you love him?” he asked solemnly.
“Yes,” I whispered quickly.
Max hung his head. He extended one leg out straight in front of him, and the other was bent. One arm rested on his knee, and he put his forehead on his arm. His dark hair hid his face. He was silent – motionless.
“Max…” I said remorsefully, placing my hand on his arm.
Still, he did not move.
I took my hand away, unsure of what to do or say. He refused to even look at me, so I leaned back in the corner. I still smelled him on me, and I tasted his kiss on my lips. My stomach gnawed.
“I have to get out of here,” I whispered under my breath.
I felt the sweat dripping down my face, and I could suddenly hear Max’s blood rushing through his veins. With each beat of his heart, the blood pulsed through him. The heat of his body radiated toward me, sending waves of an intoxicating fragrance up my nostrils. I was ravenous.
“Fight it,” I whispered almost inaudibly. “Fight it!”
It was tough to fight the hunger. We are predators my nature, but through the centuries most of us have learned to control our urges. This helps us fit into human society without detection. Still, the instinct was there, and being in an enclosed space with a human made it difficult to control.
Max sat there – motionless, defenseless. Normally so tough and rugged, he now looked weak and vulnerable. I didn’t know how much longer I could fight back my hunger. I’d never been in such a tiny, enclosed space with a human before. His delicious scent filled the tiny space – lingering in front of me like a thick fog. I desperately wished I had fed recently. It might have made the closeness more bearable.
For what seemed like hours, I sat in that elevator desperately trying to ignore him. My stomach twisted and churned, hoping and praying Will would make it there quickly. What was taking so long?
I could feel my gums tingling as my fangs erupted from their sheaths. Involuntarily, they were readying themselves for a kill. Sweat was practically rolling off me in sheets, and I began to tremble. It was becoming nearly impossible to resist. If I let go after not feeding for so long, I might not be able to stop. I might accidentally kill him, I thought.
It was then I remembered. When Max was kissing me, I’d entirely forgotten my hunger. His lips, his breath – they had charmed me, and my hunger had faded into nothingness.
As much as I wanted to remain faithful to Kai – dear, sweet Kai – I could not let myself give into my primal urges. I could not kill Max. He was a caring, compassionate person. I remembered the way he had defended Jamie in the cafeteria, and how he had been so kind to her. No. I could not hurt him. I had to do whatever it took to keep him safe.
I paused anxiously, and inhaled a deep breath. I reached over and tangled my fingers in Max’s hair, and I pushed his head back. With a starving hunger, I pushed my mouth against his. He wrapped his arms around me instinctively, and I felt his tongue slip inside my mouth. My fangs retracted, and I allowed myself to be lost in his kiss. I surrendered to him completely, and I felt my body settle against his as he lowered himself to the floor of the elevator.
I gasped aloud at the incredible passion in his kiss. It was more intoxicating than anything I’d ever experienced. His breath was sizzling hot against my face, and it moved my body up and down as his chest expanded with each breath. I moaned softly as his lips found my neck, and I buried my face in his hair. Our lips met again, and his large hands held my face. I could feel his body trembling underneath me.
Suddenly, I felt a shift. A bell dinged, and the elevator doors parted. There, gawking in horror, stood my brother – and Kai. Kai’s face was stone. Then his lower lip quivered and his jaw clenched. His hands clenched so tightly his knuckled turned white. His eyes narrowed.
I was on my feet in a flash. I tried to smooth my hair, and I opened my lips to speak. Kai was gone in an instant. He’d fled so quickly I hadn’t even had a chance to utter a word.
“Oh, man,” Will mumbled, shaking his head.
Max was on his feet, standing beside me.
“Was that your boyfriend?” he asked me.
I nodded.
“Shit,” he muttered under his breath.
“Will, we have to talk… now,” I said, grabbing my brother’s sleeve and tugging.
“Um, I’ll see you later,” Max called after me. I didn’t look back.
When Will and I were a safe distance from Max, I said, “It wasn’t what it looked like.”
“It looked like you were making out with him,” Will said.
“Okay, so it was what it looked like,” I agreed. “But I had to do it.”
“You had to do it?” Will asked. “And why exactly did you have to shove your tongue down some guy’s throat?”
“I was hungry,” I said, hanging my head.
“You were all over him because you were hungry?” he questioned in disbelief. “That makes no sense. How did that help?”
“It’s a long story, Will,” I told him. “But we need to find Kai.”
“I agree,” Will said, frowning at me disapprovingly.
The mall was closing, and the security guards forced us to leave pretty quickly. We still hadn’t found Kai, and I had a horrible, sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I needed to explain to Kai what had happened – that I’d only kissed Max so I wouldn’t have to kill him. He was a vampire. I hoped he would understand if I could just explain.
We searched all through the parking lot, but he was nowhere to be found. After searching for a few minutes, I heard sirens in the distance. They got louder and louder, and a herd of police cars and ambulances swarmed into the parking lot. They all whizzed by us toward the back of the mall. Will and I looked at each other.
“Kai!” we both gasped in unison.
We both ran as f
ast as our feet would carry us – which is quite fast for a vampire. When we got to the back of the mall, we were greeted by a horrifying scene. In the distance, the police cars and ambulances were crowded around a dimly-lit area of the parking lot. Lying on the ground were the bodies of a man, a woman, and a small child. I could see even from far away the telltale marks where fangs had penetrated their skin. I knew it had to be Kai. The fang marks would be healed by venom in an hour or two, but they were there as plain as day for anyone who knew what to look for.
My brother and I somberly headed back to the car, and we got in. Will never made a motion to turn it on, and we sat there in stunned silence. I guess we were both hoping Kai would show up, but he never did. Eventually, Will sighed, turned the key over, and drove us home.
I expected Kai to be waiting for us at home, but Mother said she hadn’t seen him. I was really worried. What had I done? If only I’d been able to control myself for a few more minutes, Will and Kai would have arrived and I could have left without incident. Why couldn’t I have held out a little longer?
“Don’t blame yourself,” Will said to me.
“Who else is there to blame?” I asked. Will looked at the ground.
“You did what you thought you had to do.”
“I know, but at what price?” I asked.
I’d never fed on a child before. In fact, I personally had only ever fed on men. I could never bear the thought of accidentally killing a child… or a woman who might be a mother. I knew some human hunters would not kill female deer or their young, so I imagined they must feel a bit like I did. It just didn’t feel right. Even leaving them alive, I felt a bit of remorse feeding even on men.
But Kai had killed an entire family – mother, father, and child. The child looked like she couldn’t have been more than eight. An entire family slaughtered just two weeks before Christmas. Despite myself, my eyes welled with tears as I mourned their passing.
“I’m going to the garden,” I told Will. “I’ll have my phone.” Will nodded.
I headed straight for the bench under the rose arbor where I had found out Kai was a vampire. I hoped he’d be there, but he wasn’t. I was exhausted. I lied down on the bench, and a few moments later, I was fast asleep.
The next morning, Kai still had not come home. Will took me back to the mall, and we searched all over – the shops, the parking lot, and all over town. We stopped by his mother’s house, and I checked the shed. We drove by the church where Kai had taken me the night we met. He was nowhere to be found.
The lump in my throat grew and swelled. It got so uncomfortable that at times I thought I might choke on this unseen object and die. Why couldn’t I have just been stronger?
Hurting Kai was unimaginably evil. I hated myself. I would have given anything to take it back, but it was too late. Would he ever come home? What if I never saw him again?
Chapter Nine
Christmas Day
The days stretched on, and there was still no word from him. Max called once, but the conversation was so awkward, it only lasted a couple of minutes. I did my Christmas shopping online. I wanted to be home in case Kai came back. I was glad school was out for the holidays, because I couldn’t have handled being around people.
On Christmas Eve, I sat alone in my room wrapping presents. I’d bought Kai a set of paints; he’d used up most of the stuff we bought him when he first moved in. I wrapped it very carefully, making sure the edges were perfectly straight. I smoothed out every wrinkle, lovingly pushing my hand across the wrapping. I gently placed a huge red bow on top, and I filled out the tag.
To: Kai
From: Alice
Tears filled my eyes as I trudged downstairs and gently placed his gift under the tree. I had debated on whether or not to even wrap it for days. I was beginning to think I would never see him again. My gifts for Will and my mother had been there since Tuesday, but now, on Friday night, Kai’s gift joined them. I still hoped he’d come home. But after dozens of emails, text messages, and phone calls, I’d heard absolutely nothing from him.
I hadn’t been sleeping for days. Since that night in the garden after Kai left, I hadn’t slept more than two hours per night. I spent my evenings wandering through the garden and shuffling restlessly through the house.
I remembered when I’d been so frustrated with him and his clinginess, and a felt an ache deep within my chest. I’d have given anything to have that back. Just to have Kai’s strong arms around me again, and to tell him how much I truly loved him. He deserved so much better than I had given him.
At around eleven on Christmas Eve, I changed into my nightshirt and climbed into bed. The downy softness of my bed might as well have been bricks, for it did little to comfort me. I felt cold and alone, and I was deeply worried about Kai.
Sometime during the night, exhaustion finally pulled me into sleep. I didn’t awaken until a shaft of sunlight streamed through the crack in my curtains and fell upon my face. It was Christmas morning.
Will and my mother were already downstairs. Our part-time chef was busy in the kitchen cooking Christmas dinner, and Mother and Will were watching television.
“Merry Christmas, darling!” my mother sang when I entered the room.
“Hey,” Will said. “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas, Mother,” I answered obligingly. “Merry Christmas, Will.”
I plopped down on the sofa beside Mother and sighed. My shoulders slouched, and my head hung limp like a wet dishrag.
“He’ll come home,” my mother said gently, putting her arm around me.
I nodded – but I wasn’t so sure.
“Let’s open gifts,” she suggested.
Mother got Will a new laptop. It was something he’d been needing for ages, and he was thrilled. I got him a new laptop case. His old one was falling apart from years of use. Mother and I had coordinated.
Will and I had gone in together to buy Mother a beautiful necklace. It was a platinum chain with a stunning 3-carat ruby surrounded by a ring of diamonds. She was utterly speechless.
“Oh, my!” she breathed. “It’s gorgeous!”
Mother’s eyes glittered every bit as much as the necklace as she fastened the chain around her neck. The pendant rested on her chest, and she reached up to touch it gently with her fingers. She sighed happily.
Will bought me a pair of black fringed boots I’d been eying at the mall for weeks, even before Kai disappeared. I had been hoping he’d take the hint, and he didn’t disappoint me. I gave him a huge hug and thanked him for being so thoughtful and observant. He truly was a fantastic brother.
Mother got me a digital camera. I’d been wanting one for years, but I’d never gotten around to getting one. It was a terrific gift, and she was pleased that I truly liked it. It made me sad, because Kai was the only person I wanted to be taking pictures of.
All I really wanted was for Christmas was for Kai to come home. I grew more and more worried about him as the days passed, and I feared the worst. He’d been so shockingly flagrant in his killing at the mall, that I was terrified that a hunter had discovered him.
Hunters. I shuddered. Most vampire hunters aren’t exactly human, as many books suggest. The majority of humans would never get close enough to one of us to have a prayer. And they’re not werewolves, either.
Vampire hunters are something else. They have similar DNA, but they aren’t quite human. They’re stronger, faster, and smarter than humans. They have special abilities. And they live for just one purpose – killing vampires.
Fortunately, vampire hunters were few and far between. They typically waited for conspicuous activity before they came to an area. Of course, you couldn’t get much more conspicuous than killing an entire family in a mall parking lot right before Christmas. That had me worried.
You might wonder why I even still had feelings for Kai after seeing that gruesome scene at the mall. Believe me, I asked myself that very same question. I guess I had hope that it wasn’t him, but I also
felt a tremendous sense of responsibility for him. Since it seemed no one else had ever really loved him, I felt a keen sense of loyalty that I couldn’t seem to shake. Maybe it was pity, but at the time, I only saw it as love.
Will and Mother could tell I was still unhappy. They tried to cheer me up, but I was inconsolable. Kai had been so vulnerable when I met him, and I had hurt him in a way no one else ever had.
I curled up on one side of the couch and pretended to read the manual that came with my digital camera, but all I could think about was Kai. Absentmindedly, I flipped a page, hoping Will and my mother would think I was absorbed in the manual and leave me alone.
A sharp rap at the door startled me, and I rushed to open it. My face fell as I pulled it open. It was Max. He grinned ear to ear as he saw me, and in his extended hands, I noticed a gift wrapped in red velvety wrapping paper with a shiny silver bow.
“Merry Christmas, Alice!” Max practically sang.
“Max,” I said, trying to hide the disappointment in my voice. “Please, come in.”
I took the gift from his hands and he entered the house. He followed me into the living room, where Will was examining his new laptop and my mother was reading.
“Will… Mother… this is my friend Max,” I introduced. “Max, this is my brother, Will. You met him briefly at the mall. And this is my mother, Rose Wright.”
Max shook hands with my mother. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he told her.
“Likewise,” my mother said pleasantly. “Won’t you sit down?”
“I can’t stay,” he declined. “I have to get back to my family. I just wanted to bring Alice her Christmas gift.”
He turned to me and watched hopefully, and I knew he wanted me to open his gift while he was there. I sat down on the sofa and carefully removed the big, silver bow and gingerly opened the wrapping paper.
I lifted the lid off the white box, and inside was a wooden box which looked to be made of cherry. It was a rich red-brown, and was delicately carved with an intricate design featuring angels and ivy. I traced my fingers over the smooth wood.