A Leaf in the Wind

by Velda Sherrod

  "I hurt and my feet are cold." She tried to smile. "I knew you'd come for me."

  He was shaking so hard he barely had control of his hands. "It would help if you'd told me where you were going. In the meantime, I've got to be sure you're all right." He massaged her feet to warm them. Gently, he ran his hands over her small body, searching for cuts, bruises, broken bones. He touched her intimately, her breasts, her abdomen, her thighs. She winced when he touched her hip, and his hatred of the soldiers roared to life again.

  "My hip is bruised, but I don't have any broken bones."

  "Sure?"

  "My left arm hurts."

  "You'll be sore for several days. Are you hungry? We've got some jerky."

  Her arms slid around his neck, and she snuggled close to his warmth. "Later."

  God, he hated to think how near she had come to being harmed. His life would be bleak without her. He was in love with her more deeply than he had ever believed he could be. His voice became a little unsteady, a trifle bitter. "When I get my wife home, I'm going to love her all night long." He rubbed his cheek against hers. "On second thought, I may beat her for scaring the hell out of me."

  "I've caused you so much worry. In the past, I haven't always told you all the truth." She pressed her lips to his cheek. "But never again."

  He turned his face so that his lips brushed hers. He wanted to wrap himself around her to keep her safe, to tell her he believed her, but so much more needed to be said. He had never expected to know such pleasure in loving his wife, nor the contentment he felt in her arms. He'd wait until the time was right, when she had recovered from her ordeal and he could love her with all the tenderness he felt.

  "Both of us have made mistakes," T.K. said.

  "Yes, but I know you now. You're fine and good."

  "Keep on believing that, honey," he said huskily. "And I'll try to live up to it."

  Once more, they were on their way, with Mac leading, staying far enough ahead to be out of hearing distance. T.K. became aware of her tears. "Why are you crying?"

  "Most of the time, I think the world is a wonderful place especially when I'm loving Toddie or your arms are around me. But I'll always remember what happened back there."

  Her voice held such poignancy, such anguish, T.K. searched for words, a way to heal her hurt. "Memories dim over time. Try not to cry."

  She still seemed distressed, and she touched his face to turn it toward her. "What do you think happened to Grayhawk?"

  "I don't know, honey, but I'd bet money he got away."

  "I couldn't bear to think they killed him."

  "Let's think about getting home to our son."

  He caressed her face. Oh, baby girl, an ugly world. He had witnessed her tears, and although he held his love against his heart, he knew he'd never forget the horrors of that night.

  Chapter Twenty

  ''Stop squirmin' and be still." Vesper's voice brought Elise fully awake. "All I'm doin' is puttin' a little grease on your sore spots. T.K. said you needed some doctorin' and I'm here to take care of it. Shoulda put it on them places when you first got home."

  Elise sniffed and covered her nose. "What is that stuff? It smells awful."

  "A secret that's been in my fam'ly for years, but I reckin I can tell you. It's axle grease mixed with a few garden herbs, which change from time to time dependin' on the season."

  "Does it do any good?"

  "Ain't you got no faith in me, honey? I'm tellin' the truth and you can believe me. If not now, wait a few days. You'll never know you was hurt."

  Elise had her doubts, but she was too bruised and sore to argue. Five days had passed, and she still had difficulty getting up in the mornings.

  She closed her eyes and lay back against the pillow, wondering how she could tolerate the smell without throwing up. "Put the chamber pot by the bed, Vesper."

  Vesper searched her face. "T.K. wanted to call the doctor. Maybe you should let him. My salve only works on the outside."

  "I'll be fine." Her stomach roiled and she motioned for Vesper to leave. Let Vesper think what she would. "All I need is a little time."

  She tried to relax and not think of the encroaching nausea or her stepsister's morning sickness, which had been the first symptom of her pregnancy with Toddie.

  The harrowing scene at the stockade paraded through her mind as it had off and on since T.K. had rescued her. She buried her rage only to resurrect it the moment she was alone. Shuddering, she could hear the whine and feel the tightening of the rope around her shoulders.

  The nightmare squealing horses, rifle shots, hungry-eyed children descended whole or in part when she was least prepared.

  Her stomach turned over again and bile rose in her throat. She groaned and rolled to the side of the bed, her concentration directed at finding the chamber pot.

  Retching, she didn't hear anyone enter the room, but from somewhere a cool cloth appeared and covered her forehead. She grabbed it and wiped her mouth.

  "It's that axle grease, Vesper." She leaned over the pot again. When the sickness subsided, she lay back limply. "My sore places can get well on their own." T.K.'s low chuckle sounded above her, and she lifted her blurred vision to his face.

  "I'll have a bath made ready for you, honey," he said, his eyes showing his sympathy. "Maybe I should call the doctor. It's been five days now."

  "I'll be all right. The sickness will pass in a little while. It always does. Just keep Vesper away from me with that vile stuff she rubs on me."

  "How long have you had this upset stomach, love? Before the ride to find Drum?"

  He suspected, just as she did. She loved the gentle caress in his voice. "Since I got back. Maybe once or twice before. I've been eating a lot of fruit." She'd confide her suspicions later when she could hold her head up without vomiting. She gave him a weak smile. "Maybe I should cut down on the fruit. You suppose?"

  He grinned sympathetically. "I wouldn't do anything drastic. How about the bruises?"

  "I'm stiff and sore still." She started shaking her head. "But no more axle grease. Absolutely no more."

  Even though amusement deepened the lines around his mouth, his eyes showed his concern. "Want to try sitting up now?"

  "I feel fine," she assured him, and she discovered she did. "As soon as I get a bath, I'm coming downstairs."

  He wrinkled his nose and kissed her. "I'll admit that stuff takes a certain getting used to. If you aren't better in a few days, we'll drive in and see the doc."

  Suddenly, and for no reason she could fathom, she was filled with a potent energy, a need to meet the day head-on. She put her legs over the side of the bed and stood, her hair falling wildly about her shoulders. She threw a sideways glance at him. He was dressed in denims; his blue cotton shirt lay open at the throat, exposing short dark hair. He was ruggedly handsome, the man who was her husband, his powerful physique a constant reminder of his strength.

  "Oh, T.K., I'm so glad to be home." He knew she was carrying his baby. She could tell by the shine in his eyes. "Wonderful, wonderful home."

  "Home is where the heart is, love." His soft voice flowed over her like honey. He kissed her cheek, holding her tenderly. "Come to the corral. I'll be waiting for you."

  Elise watched the door close, then drifted to the washbowl to clean her face and brush her teeth before the arrival of the bath she'd been promised. She touched her toothbrush to the soda dentrifice, dragged it across her teeth, and gagged.

  "Try to behave," she muttered to her mutinous stomach. "Keep it up and we'll both be out of sorts."

  The upheaval passed in time for her to smile a greeting to Juan's two nephews with the bathtub. They filled the tub with hot water, and after many bows, they backed out the door. Tossing aside her robe, she was soon up to her chin in bubbles.

  She absently ran her fingers through the tangles in her hair. She could be mistaken, but deep down she knew. She carried T.K.'s baby. She and T.K. had come full circle. Once more a child would lead them.


  And once more she had a secret, a love token. At the proper time and place, she'd share the glad tidings.

  <><><><><><><><><><><>

  T.K. walked to the kitchen door and looked at the familiar prairie. He wanted to howl with joy. His wife was going to have a baby. His baby! God, such a profound, absolutely wonderful happening should be shouted from the tree tops. All she had to do was say the word, and he'd tell the whole world.

  Trusting her, he knew she would tell him when the time was right for her. But dammit, he wished she'd get on with it.

  He ran his fingers through his hair before putting on his hat. Since they were happy together, he wanted to pour out his soul to her, make love to her, tell her how hungry he was for her love in return. Not because of the new baby, and while that brought a smile to his heart, she was the one important to him.

  Vesper spoke behind him. "She be fine, T.K. No need to werry yourself. If she was gonna lose the baby, it would already have happened." Her expression softened. "Be right nice to have another baby. A li'l playmate for Toddie."

  T.K. couldn't help himself. He grinned. "How did you know?"

  "I ain't blind, and I wuzzn't born yestiddy. The girl gets up sick in the morning, then goes about the day like nothing's wrong. All the signs is there." Amusement flickered across her face. "Besides I reckon she been exposed."

  Waiting, patiently or otherwise, had never been one of his strengths, and T.K. could picture Elise growing larger day by day, still pointing an accusing finger at the fruit she ate. He'd have to pretend ignorance until she decided to inform him he would be a father.

  "Has she told you she was pregnant, Vesper? Suppose she knows?"

  "She knows, but she ain't talked about it none. To me anyways. You happy 'bout it?"

  He smiled. "Damn right."

  "Good."

  Determined to act surprised, he headed for the corral. He wanted her to read nothing in his face except his delight that she was with him.

  The slam of the kitchen door alerted him, and she ran toward him, her skirt swept back, her hair flying in the wind. He held his arms open, and she came to him. When she tried to move away, he held her closer.

  "Don't go," he said, his voice thick. "I've had a hard time keeping my hands off you, afraid I'd hurt you."

  "Let's go inside the barn." She grinned wickedly. "No one will see us"

  She didn't get to finish. They both heard the creak of saddle leather at the same time. Grudgingly, he released her and turned to watch the approach of his top hand. Mac rode a tall gray stallion and led a mare.

  T.K. sighed. "Hell of a time for MacCucheon to show."

  Wide-eyed, Elise stared at the horses before her astonishment gave way to teary laughter. "It's Goose. Goose is home." She ran to the horse, rubbed her hands over the mare's side, and patted her neck. "Oh, Goose, I'm so glad to see you, girl. I thought I had lost you for sure. Thank you, Mac. Thank you a thousand times."

  Mac shook his head, then whipped off his hat. "Reckon I can't claim credit, ma'am. I just found her where somebody intended."

  "I have to thank somebody, so it might as well be you."

  He smiled and nodded. "I understand." Turning, he spoke to T.K. "How're you, T.K.?"

  Startled, T.K. looked at MacCucheon. The message was in his eyes. Mac was moving on. T.K. ignored the weight in the pit of his stomach. He had known that day would come, but he had hoped the time wouldn't be soon. "Where did you find the mare?"

  "Somebody put her in the dry-creek corral." Mac released his hold, and the extra saddle he held dropped to the ground. "Found the saddle outside the fence."

  "I wonder who left it."

  Mac glanced at him. "I heard Grayhawk broke out of the stockade. Came pretty straight. So I guess we can believe it."

  With a nod, T.K. let him know he agreed. "I'm not surprised. Do you think he left Goose?"

  Shrugging, Mac inadvertently pulled up on the reins and his horse snorted. Mac patted him absently. "Couldn't say for sure, of course." His voice was soft, totally unemotional. "They finally ran him into a canyon, one of the deep ravines he couldn't get out of. One of the bluecoats bragged he put a bullet in him."

  At his wife's gasp of horror, T.K. hid his own pain by holding her in his arms. She sobbed against his shoulder, her joy at getting her horse back forgotten at the heartbreaking news. Finally, he spoke. "Grayhawk wouldn't have survived on the reservation. Seeing his people cooped up like chickens would have killed him."

  "Reckon it would." Mac swung out of the saddle. "I got something to talk about with you, T.K."

  "When you called me T.K., I figured I'd lost a top hand. I don't know whether I hate losing the hand or the friend more."

  "I'm still a friend, but I figure after I get the herd to Abilene, I'll collect my pay and mosey on down toward San Antone. I've liked riding for you, and I'm proud to punch for the brand, but it's time."

  "All the arrangements were made when I was in Abilene. You won't have any trouble with the bank or the railroad. I gave them your name as the trail driver."

  Mac nodded his thanks, then dipped his head toward Elise. "Right glad to see you weren't shook up too bad, Mrs. Burke."

  When he put out his hand, she ignored it, drew his head down, and kissed his cheek. "Thanks for everything. I wish you'd get married. Then you and your wife and children could come to visit."

  Mac smiled indulgently. "Not many women interested in a saddle tramp."

  "Friends like you don't come along often, Mac." T.K. wrung his hand vigorously, reluctant to let it go.

  Maybe once or twice in a lifetime, he thought morosely. His wife had fulfilled the loneliness in his own life, and he wanted with all his heart to do the same for her. With Mac he had exposed his inner thoughts, even taken Mac's advice on personal matters something he wasn't prone to do with many men and never with a hired hand.

  "We sure don't like losing you, Mac. But if you're certain, come by the house on your way out and I'll have your wages ready."

  T.K. watched him ride toward the bunkhouse. Mac was old before his time. He moved from one spread to another, searching for ways to fill the emptiness in his life.

  His wife's happiness at having her horse back had been short lived. Grayhawk's death, T.K. thought sadly, had been a blow to her as much as to him. And Drum's fate had been inexorably sealed with that of the Indians. Despite the odds, the magnificent animal had won his race against the military, only to lose to the military.

  T.K. caught his wife's glance. He wanted desperately to put the past away, at least for a time, and think about their baby. Tell me, love, he thought. Tell me about our baby.

  Light caught her hair and sparkled, in her eyes. "Goose and I were friends from the start."

  Whatever her secrets, he had never seen her so beautiful. "Come here, love."

  She gave the mare a final pat, and with a sigh, she walked toward him, the graceful swing of her skirt following the motion of her slender hips. "I know you're angry with me, and you have reason to be. But when someone I love needs me, I'll do almost anything to help. Sometimes I don't think of the consequences." She swallowed hard, and her eyes brimmed. "I hope you can forgive me for all the things I've done."

  "Shh." T.K. thumbed away a tear that had escaped. "I understand so much more now. Learned a few things about myself in the process. First, I wasn't put on this earth to judge anybody, least of all my wife. What has happened is now in the past. You love deeply and courageously. I know that you're brave and that you faced pain, shame, and guilt in coming with me to the Lazy B. All for Toddie's sake."

  When she would have interrupted, he silenced her with a kiss. "I haven't always been honest. I wanted you and wanted so damned much for you to be Toddie's mother. When I learned you weren't, I was mad." He laughed. "Then I rushed you into marriage and have regretted that I didn't give you time to know me better. Guess I was afraid I'd lose you."

  Her great eyes widened. "But you said we should marry to give Toddie
a respectable home."

  "The big reason was because I love you. I have from the moment you took a swing at me in Boggy Creek. For the first time, I know what joy is. I love you too much to ever let you go" he grinned wryly "or out of my sight."

  "I wish you had told me."

  "When I knew you were in the military camp caught between the soldiers and the Comanches, I was afraid. Must have died a thousand times." He pulled her into his arms and kissed her hungrily. "I love you, wife."

  "You know that I haven't always told the truth."

  "Right."

  "And I don't always do what you tell me."

  "Hardly ever," he said, nuzzling her neck.

  "I gave one horse away and almost lost another, and I'm not really Toddie's mother."

  He nodded wisely. "All true."

  "And you love me anyway?"

  "So much that, if you don't say you love me, I'm in danger of tearing out across the prairies like a wild longhorn bull that's been too long in the bush."

  Laughter glowed in her eyes. She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Husband, I love you. And I think it's time you met your wife. Elise DuBois Burke. Lee was my stepsister. I was determined to keep Toddie, so I took her name after the storm. Later, I was being obstinate." With a delightful little sound, she whispered against his lips. "Now you'll have Toddie and a newcomer."

  He did his best to look bewildered, gave it up, and laughed. "It's about time you told me."

  "You know about our baby?"

  No longer confronted with hiding his happiness, T.K. whooped, laughed, and hugged her. "I know."

  "How?"

  "Well, you have morning sickness." He had already counted. "And some other symptoms a husband would be aware of."

  Her face turned red. "I see."

  He caressed her, gently smoothing her hair and running his fingers over her face and throat. "I think I'd like a little girl with eyes the color of a newborn Hereford calf, hair the color of ripe corn, and lips luscious like her mama's."