As Needed

by Thea Dawson

  She nodded. “Private practice. If there’s anything I can do for you, Rachel will put you in touch.”

  “Thank you. I appreciate that.”

  “I’ve already met your daughter. Nan’s really enjoying her.”

  “Thanks.” Bryce gave an embarrassed glance over his shoulder toward the center of the living room. “I should probably go rescue her—”

  “Don’t worry about Nan.” Deb gave him a reassuring smile. “She doesn’t walk all that well these days, so she’ll just be sitting on the couch anyway, and she loves children. Come on, let me introduce you to some people.”

  From time to time, he’d catch a glimpse of Rachel, who was talking to a red-headed man on the far side of the spacious living room, and he diligently kept an eye on Nora. Despite Rachel and Babs’s assurances, he didn’t want to impose on the old woman, but when he checked in with her, Babs waved him off.

  “Bring me a glass of wine, and I’ll keep her as long as you want. I’m the most popular person in the room. Everyone wants to come over and admire her.”

  Obediently, he brought her a glass of pinot noir. Babs was engrossed in a conversation with one of Rachel’s uncles by that point, and he drifted off, hoping to find Rachel again.

  The house was an elegant split level with a wrap-around deck that overlooked the bay. Wide sliding glass doors opened onto it from the living room, dining room, and kitchen. The red-haired man was standing in a group of twenty-somethings in the corner of the living room, but Rachel had vanished. When she didn’t immediately pop into his field of vision, he had a sudden urge to be outdoors in the fresh, cold air, and he took advantage of the empty kitchen to slip outside.

  The sky was clear, and stars were flung across the black sky. Again, a sense of peace seemed to fill him with every breath of cold air that he took.

  Behind him, one of the sliding doors opened and shut again. He turned to see Rachel walking toward him. Her arms were wrapped around herself, and her breath was misting in the cold night air.

  “I was wondering where you’d got to,” she said.

  “I was wondering the same thing,” he replied.

  “Sorry.” She rolled her eyes. “Everyone seems to have someone I have to meet. Are you having a good time?”

  The earnest concern in her eyes touched him. “Yes. Thank you for inviting me. I haven’t done any real socializing for a while. It’s nice to be around people again.”

  She swept a skeptical gaze around the empty deck. “Yes, I can see you’re taking full advantage of it.”

  He chuckled. “I wanted a little fresh air. And I was admiring the view. It’s really beautiful.”

  “Thanks.” She rubbed her bare arms.

  “You look cold. You want to head back in?”

  She shook her head. “Not particularly. My sister’s trying to set me up with a dermatologist.”

  “Lucky dermatologist.”

  Rachel darted a curious look at him, then fixed her gaze on the railing that ran around the deck.

  Crap, was he flirting? Maybe that drink had been too strong after all.

  Rachel hunched her shoulders a little against the cold. He knew he ought to urge her again to head back indoors, but now that they were out here together, the thought of going back inside had little appeal.

  “At least take this.” He took off his blazer and placed it around her shoulders.

  “Oh. Thank you.” She stared up at him, her eyes wide with surprise.

  Yes, he was definitely flirting.

  He stepped back. Putting his hands in the pockets of his pants, he turned to look out at the water. The distant lights of the city sparkled across the bay.

  “Beautiful view,” he said again.

  “Yeah, it’s nice. I can see it from my room upstairs.”

  They stood in silence for a while. His mind raced as he tried to think of something to say.

  “I like your family. Do people tell you that you look just like your mother?” he said. “Your grandmother, too.”

  Rachel tilted her head toward him, her grin hinting at mischief. “You think?”

  “Is that so strange?” He smiled at her. “I hear it happens that way in families sometimes.”

  “I was actually adopted,” she admitted.

  Something in his chest lurched. “Oh. I—Sorry. I didn’t know that.”

  Now it was Rachel who was looking across the bay, engrossed in the lights of the city. “Yeah … there were some complications when Mom was pregnant with Aaron, and she wasn’t able to have more children. But she and Dad really wanted another one—” she shrugged, “—and they ended up with me.”

  “They were very lucky.”

  She had a fond, faraway expression on her face. “Me too. My parents are pretty awesome. Even Deb’s not that bad,” she added with an air of concession.

  They stood staring out at the lights across the water for a few minutes, questions churning in Bryce’s head. Finally, he made a stab at articulating them.

  “So why don’t you like the idea of me putting Nora up for adoption? Seems like it worked out pretty well for you.”

  Rachel bit her lip. “How do you know I don’t like the idea?”

  He chuckled softly. “You’re kind of an open book.”

  “Oh.” Rachel crossed her arms and shrugged herself deeper into his blazer before answering. “Well, I guess it did work out well for me. I mean, my parents are amazing. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade them for anything. I wouldn’t say you shouldn’t place Nora for adoption … I just … I don’t …” She bit her lip and started again. “Okay, so when I was in college, I got into the records, and I found my birth mother. She lives in Virginia now, and I went down to meet her. Her name’s Jessie. But nobody knows that,” she added quickly. “I didn’t tell my parents because I was afraid it would hurt their feelings if I … but I was so curious, you know? I just had to find out about her.”

  He nodded. “I understand. I won’t say anything. I’m very good at keeping secrets, you know,” he added with a meaningful look.

  Her lips pursed as if she were repressing a smile. “Thanks.”

  “What was it like, meeting your birth mom?” he asked.

  “It was good,” Rachel said slowly. “She’s very nice. We still keep in touch. She’s married now and has a couple of kids of her own.”

  Bryce waited. It sounded like a pretty happy ending so far, but from the look on Rachel’s face, he could tell there was more to the story.

  “Of course, I wanted to know why she gave me up.” Rachel let out a breath that fogged the chilly night air. “And she told me that she got pregnant when she was sixteen. Her boyfriend dumped her, and her parents told her they’d disown her if she didn’t get an abortion. But she didn’t want to, so she ran away, and somehow this crisis pregnancy center hooked her up with an adoption agency—I don’t know the whole story—and she gave birth to me, and signed me over to Mom and Dad. And since she wasn’t pregnant anymore when she went home, her parents took her back in, and she finished high school and went to college and, you know, had a life.”

  She paused for such a long moment that he was about to ask her if she was ready to go inside when she began talking again.

  “When I met her, she cried.” Rachel blinked at the water, and Bryce wondered if she was on the verge of tears herself. “She couldn’t stop saying how sorry she was. I kept telling her I had a great life, that I wasn’t mad at her or anything, and she just kept saying she was sorry.” Rachel kicked at something small and invisible on the ground. “It just wrecked her, Bryce. Twenty years later, and she was still so sad about it. The people who should have helped her let her down. She didn’t have any support, money, or education. She didn’t have anything.”

  Rachel turned to face him, her brown eyes boring intently into his blue ones, and he could almost hear her unspoken words: But you do.

  It’s different, he thought to himself. I didn’t want this baby. I didn’t even know about her un
til a few weeks ago.

  “But don’t you want a life like you’ve had for Nora?” he asked. “I can’t give her what you grew up with.” He gestured toward the brightly lit house. “She could have a real family, brothers and sisters and two parents, the best of everything. I know I’m not going to win any father of the year awards, but I really do want her to be happy.”

  Underneath his blazer, Rachel’s shoulders slumped in exasperation, and she tilted her head, huffing like a teenager. “I’m not worried about Nora, you idiot,” she replied. “I’m worried about you.”

  11

  Rachel hadn’t meant to share so much, and now she felt tired and a little embarrassed. Bryce had resources and options that Jessie couldn’t have dreamed of. He’d find a good home for Nora and go on with what looked like a pretty nice life, and it was ridiculous to suggest that he’d look back and regret it.

  He wouldn’t.

  Plus, she’d probably crossed a line by calling her boss an idiot.

  She started to turn back to the door. “Sorry. Jakey’s drinks are way too strong. That last rum and Coke made me too emotional. Come on, we should go back in.”

  He put a hand on her shoulder to stop her, and she looked up at him, surprised. He’d never touched her before, not even to shake hands, and even through the sleeve of his expensive blazer, the weight of his hand sent a funny tingling warmth right to her stomach. Heat rose in her cheeks, and her gaze slid away from his.

  “Wait,” he said. He was frowning. Maybe he was about to fire her for crossing one of his stupid boundaries. Well, so be it. She was getting too invested in this job anyway.

  “What is it?” she asked.

  But instead of speaking, he brushed a curl of hair away from her cheek with his other hand, and suddenly, he was standing very close to her, much closer than she could remember him ever being before. The starched white cotton of his dress shirt brushed her chest, and she was surrounded by the clean, expensive scent of him, drawing it into her bloodstream with every breath. Heart pounding in her throat, she stared at the cleft in his chin, unable to raise her gaze any higher.

  “It’s been a long time since anyone worried about me,” he said, a tired smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “Thank you.”

  She risked a quick glance upward. “You’re welcome?”

  In reply, his lips brushed hers, softer and warmer than she would have thought they’d be, then they pressed against her more firmly. She let him pull her closer as the kiss deepened. The blazer half fell off, exposing one shoulder to the cold, but the shock of it seemed to wake up all her senses at once, rushing through her in a thrill of desire and delight.

  She was aware of him trying to pull the blazer back up, to keep her safe from the winter air, and she wanted to tell him not to worry about it, but her mouth was too busy exploring his, tasting a left-over hint of gin and tonic and relishing the subtle strength of his tongue.

  Finally, the kiss ended, but he didn’t let go of her.

  Her knees were shaky. “Oh, wow.”

  “Yeah. Wow.” He looked down, touching his forehead to hers. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

  His arms were still around her, though. “You don’t look sorry,” she pointed out.

  “Well, I should be sorry.”

  “You’re a very complicated man.”

  He chuckled. “I kind of like you, Cohen.”

  She affected a bored tone of voice. “Yeah, well, I kind of like you too, Davidson.”

  “I guess this is going to make working together really awkward.”

  “I’ll say. You want me to quit?”

  His arms tightened around her. “God, no. I don’t want you out of my sight. Besides, I can’t run the office without you.”

  “Good, because I’m still holding out for that bonus.”

  He laughed, and she snuggled closer to him, her head on his chest, relishing the sound. Had she really just been scolding Deb not half an hour ago for suggesting she should date her boss? Sorry, Deb.

  Also, not sorry.

  “We should go in,” she murmured. “If you’re worried about your reputation, making out with your receptionist on the deck probably isn’t going to do you any good.”

  He stroked her hair. “I think it could do me a lot of good,” he murmured. “But you’re right. I should go rescue your grandmother. And I should head home. Nora needs to get to bed, and if I stay here, I’ll just monopolize you.”

  She smiled into his chest. “You know, tonight’s the first time I’ve ever heard you call Nora by name.”

  He pulled away, and his eyes narrowed. “No, I must have called her Nora before. I mean, that’s her name.”

  She shook her head. “Nope. First time. She’s always ‘the baby.’”

  “Huh. Leave it to you to notice something like that.” He drew her in again. “We shouldn’t be doing this,” he said softly, his arms still warm around her.

  “Sheesh, if you keep saying that, I might start to agree.” She tilted her head up to look at him, a playful frown on her face. “Relax, Romeo. It’s the weekend. We can deal with the hard stuff on Monday. Maybe one more kiss before you hit the road?”

  He smiled. “One for the road, then.”

  “You have fun last night?” Aaron asked as Rachel came into the kitchen the next morning. He was already at the kitchen table drinking coffee and studying the Sunday Times crossword.

  Rachel’s face warmed at the memory of kissing Bryce, and she quickly turned her back on her brother to pour herself some coffee.

  “Yeah, it was fun. You heading back to the city this morning, or are you going to stick around a bit?” She stirred some cream into her coffee and slid into a chair across from her brother.

  “I’ll probably head back mid-afternoon. Might as well hold out for a free lunch, right?”

  “Moocher.”

  Aaron chuckled. “Look who’s talking, boomerang child.”

  “What’s that?”

  “You know, a grown-up child who moves back in with their parents?”

  “It’s just temporary. Besides, Mom and Dad like having me around.”

  “You’re just a poor substitute for their favorite son. Their lives haven’t been the same since I moved out.”

  “That’s right—they’ve been better.”

  He leaned across the table to give her head a good rub.

  “Quit it, you jerk!” She swatted his hand away. “You’re going to spill my coffee.”

  Aaron backed off with a big-brother grin.

  “I enjoyed meeting Mina last night,” she added, partly because it was true and partly to get her mind off Bryce before she said something stupid.

  Aaron was suddenly engrossed in the crossword puzzle again. “Who?”

  She gave him a quizzical glance over her coffee cup. “Mina? Your best friend’s little sister?”

  “Oh, right. Mina.” Aaron didn’t lift his eyes from the paper. “Don’t really know her that well.” He cleared his throat. “Your boss seems like a nice guy.”

  The heat started to creep into her cheeks again. “Yeah, he’s okay. I wasn’t sure about him at first, but he’s growing on me.”

  “Think it’ll turn into something permanent?”

  “Um … Oh, you mean the job? Mm, I don’t think so. I mean, I guess I could apply to work there permanently, but … I don’t know.”

  “Not your cup of tea?”

  She considered the question, then shook her head. “It’s just him in the office, maybe one other person if he ever gets a partner, and it’s mostly just filing and answering the phone and stuff. Not super interesting.”

  “Not after traveling around the world, I’d imagine. So what’s little Rachel going to do with her life?”

  “That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it? Something with people, something that’s not the same thing day in and day out.”

  He nodded. “Yeah, I don’t really see you behind a desk. What about medicine? You’d be
a great nurse.”

  She made a face. “Can’t stand the sight of blood, and I barely passed Bio 101. Any other ideas?”

  “Keep temping for a while,” he suggested. “It’s a great way to see what’s out there, test the waters.”

  She grimaced. “I don’t think that’s what Mom wants to hear. Pretty sure she thinks I’ve been testing the waters for way too long now, and it’s time to settle down.”

  “She’s just being her overprotective self. She and Dad want to make sure you can take care of yourself for the long haul. Traveling around the world in your twenties is awesome, but you’re probably going to want something different when you’re in your forties or your fifties.”

  “I’m ready for something different now,” she admitted. “I just don’t know what.”

  “Well, take your time. I know Mom’s leaning on you, but you don’t need to rush anything.

  “You’ve been working for the same company since you got out of college,” she pointed out. “How did you know that was what you wanted to do?”

  Aaron folded the paper and looked at her. “Hey, can you keep a secret?”

  Rachel cocked her head at him. “Mm, maybe. I seem to be running about fifty-fifty on secrets lately.”

  “Well, I’ll take my chances.” Aaron put down the paper. “Don’t tell Mom and Dad, but I’m actually thinking about quitting.”

  Her eyes widened. “Really? Why? I thought you liked it.”

  “I liked it when I started. It was fun. It was exciting. I beat out, like, a hundred other applicants for an entry-level job. Just out of college, and I suddenly have more money than I can spend, the prestige of working on Wall Street—it was awesome. But shit like that can go to your head. Hell, it’s gone to my head. I’ve been at it almost eight years now, and I don’t like what it’s doing to me.”

  “What’s it doing to you?”

  He paused, looking for the right words. “It’s the whole Wall Street culture. It’s a bunch of frat boys with way too much money, a lot of power, and no moral compass.” He turned to look out at the view of Haven Bay. “I’ve done some things I’m not proud of, Rache. I don’t want to be part of it anymore.”