by Cour M.
How could they?
Rose and the Doctor had forgotten him. Or they had not even tried to look for him. Perhaps they had seen on a screen somewhere that it looked as if he had died, but he did not see how. No—the truth was all too clear. He had been abandoned.
The ship was falling apart around him, and thinking as fast as he always did, Jack clicked some buttons on his vortex manipulator. He travelled through time and space and arrived—not where he had intended. Yet he was distracted at the moment, for his mind wondered over to what happened.
He had fought alongside the Doctor and Rose. He was willing to die for the Doctor, and almost had done so.
Yet why did they leave him behind? Why did the Doctor abandon him?
“What did I do?” Jack Harkness asked aloud, “what did I do that I was left behind?”
Jack then stood up and looked around, seeing that he was not where he intended.
“And, where am I?”
The Third Leaving – Martha Jones
Near the end of ‘Smith and Jones’.
The hospital had been restored to where it was, and Martha was sitting behind am ambulance, listening to her colleague speak to the reporters about how he tried to stop the Judoon from killing one of the patients in the hospital. Martha had not been there to see it, but she knew her fellow co-worker, and sometimes, he embellished the truth to hide the fact that he didn’t do the correct thing. Yet time would tell. As it always did. Besides, it didn’t matter. Between the Judoon marching all over the hospital, the hospital being transported to the moon, and then half the Earth almost being destroyed, no one could be judged at the time, because they were all suffering under a lot of shock.
Yet Martha suffered the most shock of all, for she wondered if part of it had been a dream—the part that held the alien who wore a nice blue suit. Yet he was real. Very much and completely. Their ending was so charged, so incredible, that it affected her to her very core, and she could not shake the memory of him. But where was he? Her last memory before she was about to die was of him waking up so that he could disable the scanner. And since they were all alive and half of the Earth was not destroyed, then he must have been successful. Yet amongst the survivors, she did not see him. What happened? Was he taken by the Judoon?
“Martha!”
Martha turned and she saw Tish running to her, for Tish had been there to pick her up when the hospital disappeared. Tish rushed up to her and began to shower her with questions about what happened. Martha was happy to see her and could answer some of them, but then something caught her eye.
A familiar face in the crowd—though at a distance.
She looked up and saw the Doctor through the throng. He looked at her, smiled charmingly and then waved at her as he continued to walk on—toward a police box.
He had survived! Therefore, he had been the one to save them all in the end.
With Tish still at her side, Martha began to stop being attentive to her. Deliberately, she walked forward to meet the Doctor. Yet as a few people passed in front of her, she heard a sound and then the Doctor was no longer there. Nor was the police box.
What happened to him?
Later that evening, Martha was in her bedroom, getting ready for her brother’s birthday party, while listening to an interview on the radio. It was her co-worker being interviewed about their time in space.
“… and it just proves Mr. Saxon correct,” he was saying, “we’re not alone. We’re not alone in the universe.”
Hearing this, Martha lowered her mascara brush that she had just removed from her lashes, and looked up, into the night sky. She, Martha Jones, had just met an alien, a real proper alien from outer space. He looked human, but wasn’t. Hell, she even was the one to identify that he had two hearts. But he left before she could even figure anything out about him. She did not know where he came from, what species, or anything. But what she didn’t get was why he left without speaking to her first.
After all, they had run together, fought the problem together, and had connected. They even almost died together. Therefore, what brought about his reasoning, his sudden departure without explaining anything?
She had desperately wished to see him again, and even then, looking into the night sky, she saw his face as clear as day. From the suit to his walking around with no shoes on. His hair was brilliant, he was tall, handsome and his face was like water—it could move easily. He quickly trusted her, relied on her and expected much of her. It was altogether too overwhelming with how much he expected from her so shortly into their acquaintance, but Martha was used to such treatment. Actually, it seemed to be the way her life always was. Yet her mind continued to focus on the Doctor and she could not shake her fascination with him. Within herself, she felt something stir, and then she flinched.
“Oh no,” Martha groaned to herself. Looking at her reflection in the mirror, “Oh no! This would be most inconvenient.”
She had developed feelings for him! All the symptoms of the emotion were there, as was the cause of them. She had met him in the strangest of ways, with him coming up to her and taking his tie off. Thus, he created a mystery. He was handsome, yes, and it augmented his charming demeanor. But before that, his looks only complimented him, and were not what sparked the attraction. No, he had merely been a curiosity. Then he continued to seek her out, complimented her intelligence, relied on her to assist him, and then they kissed because he placed his DNA on her. But that was merely a fun experience. No, it had all begun when she gave her dying breath to save him so that he could save the world—and the last thing she saw before her eyes closed was him.
Even then, Martha recalled the pain and agony of suffocating to death. But this was all easy to explain medically! Any psychiatric 101 course she had taken described what she was undergoing. When you die, your emotions speed up—because you’re dying. And since he was the last thing that she had seen before all went black, her emotions naturally were going to latch onto him even further. And then when she woke up again, after practically being dead, her mind raced back to the last thing it saw: The Doctor. She did what any animal does when it’s dying; latch onto the last thing that it saw.
All medical.
All chemical.
All scientific.
But all the knowledge in the world does not cure the heart when it decides to be afflicted with that thing called sentiment. What use was her science now? It didn’t cure anything. Between all that had occurred between them, then her giving her dying breath for him and him being the last face that her face thought to have seen, there was no ability for logic or steadiness. Her emotions were going to latch onto him and there was nothing that she could do. She just had to wait it out and hope that it would all pass soon.
“Love can be like a sickness sometimes,” she chuckled to her reflection, “perhaps it’s best that I never see him again. It’ll be easier this way. After all, now that he’s gone completely, I’ll have time to get over him. If I had to see him, there would be no chance of that. Yes, it’s better this way.”
But until then, she couldn’t help but wonder… why did he just leave? Why didn’t he accost her at the end of it all and explain himself? After all, there was nothing to be afraid of and the danger was over. Then it left her wondering if he did not wish to see her again. But that was preposterous; after all, she had done everything that he needed her to do. They had saved each other.
“What did I do?” Martha asked herself, “What did I do that he would leave?”
Her mind was left going back and forth. Part of her was happy that he had left, giving her the chance to get over the feelings that she had no choice but to undergo. Yet the other side of her, the romantic side, wondered after him, and greatly desired to always do so.
The Fourth Leaving – Amy Pond
Near the end of ‘The Eleventh Hour’.
“Doctor?” Amy Pond shouted as she was left on the rooftop with Rory. The Doctor had just chased off the aliens and
gotten rid of Prisoner Zero. Now he had escaped their notice as he rushed off the rooftop and down the steps, leaving the hospital.
“Where did he go?” Rory asked, to which Amy responded simply by grabbing him by the collar of his scrubs and pulling him along.
“Come along, handsome,” she cried and they rushed down the steps, chasing after the Doctor.
“Do you know where he would be going?” Rory asked her.
“Oh, I have a pretty good idea,” Amy replied, “he’s going back to where it all began.”
“Where’s that?”
“My home.”
“Why would he go there?”
Amy thought of that machine that he claimed to have been a spaceship.
“Oh no!”
“What?”
“Nothing… just a spot of bother.”
Amy sensed it, without fully knowing why—but she was aware within herself… he was going to leave again. The Doctor was going to leave.
After much running, Amy and Rory reached her backyard, they heard the patter of footsteps and the sound of an engine in the backyard.
“No!” Amy cried.
“What?”
“Not again!”
Amy rushed to the backyard, Rory trailed behind and they both rushed through the trees just in time to see the TARDIS dissolving into thin air.
“What’s he doing?” Rory asked.
“He’s leaving,” Amy responded, her voice hollow. “He’s leaving again.”
“Why? He just saved the day.”
“Because that’s what he does. Even though he never should.”
Amy looked at Rory, her eyes filled with pain and emotion.
“He made me wait twelve years,” she whispered, “he’ll make me wait again. Won’t he? He’ll make me wait again! Unless… unless this time he won’t come back.”
“Amy…”
“I’m not a child anymore. When he promised to come back to see me, it was when I was a kid. But I’m grown up now. Will that change everything? He might never come back for me.”
Amy had been so busy being preoccupied with the Doctor’s departure, that she didn’t even notice that Rory was looking on her sadly.
“What?”
“Well, I’m sorry that he left, but Amy. Well, you still have me, you know.”
Amy faltered, covered her mouth with her hand and for a second, she was so ashamed.
“Rory, of course, I didn’t mean to…”
“Amy, please, I can’t do this anymore.”
“What?”
“I am happy that he was real, I am. But Amy, I can’t have you sitting around, waiting, and me feel forgotten or something. I can’t do that.”
Amy blinked, recalling all the years that she did not notice her feelings for Rory, and his feelings for her.
“Rory, I promise that it’s not like that.”
“It’s not?”
“No, he’s just a childhood memory that I—that promised me that he would come back. And it’s just—I still don’t know what I did that he keeps leaving. What did I do?” Rory folded his hands in front of him, nervous. Taking in his hurt expression, she realized that she was forgetting him again. “Oh, dear, what did I do?” She walked up to him and kissed him proudly. Feeling immediately reassured, Rory wrapped his arms around her and kissed her in turn. “There, you see,” Amy smiled, “I’ve got you smiling again. I didn’t forget you. I promise. I just…”
“Yes, I’m sorry.”
“Me too.”
The Fifth Leaving – Clara Oswald
This was immediately after Eleven left Clara in the café in ‘Bells of Saint John’.
Everything was black. Then Clara opened one eye and then the other. She raised her head and saw that she was still in the café. The very same café that she had discovered the location of those who had uploaded her into the Wi-Fi. And the last thing that she remembered was the Doctor, but it wasn’t the Doctor. It was one of those machine-things that was used to upload people into. And it had uploaded her. It was successful that second time around. She had been stuck in the Wi-Fi, a living sentient being, distributed in the atmosphere. And yet she was awake and no longer in the computer—she was present, but the Doctor was not.
“Doctor!” She cried at her table. “Doctor!”
She stood up and looked around, but he was nowhere to be seen. Taking the computer, she stood up and went into the café, approaching a waitress.
“Excuse me,” Clara asked, “but I came here with a man. He wore a bow-tie. Did you see him?”
“Bow-tie, coat that went down to his knees, and nice hair?” The woman listed.
“Yeah, that’s the chap.”
“Yeah, he left. I think.”
“What?”
“Yeah, wait, unless he went into the bathroom.”
“Where is the bathroom?”
“Straight down the hall there.”
“Thanks!”
Clara left her, rushed to the bathroom, and did not think before she rushed in.
“Ei!” A man cried as he was just washing his hands.
“Oh, dear lord, sorry!” Clara apologized.
“Wrong bathroom!” The man cried, “Can’t you read?”
“Not under the circumstances, I guess,” Clara groaned, then she turned to the stalls. “Doctor, are you in here?”
There was no sound, and only the man looked at her with anger.
“Satisfied yet?” He asked.
“Not really.”
Defeated, Clara left the men’s room. She searched around the café, found everyone else but the Doctor, then she rushed down the steps and on the street. The Doctor was nowhere in sight.
“Another person who’s left me,” Clara chuckled sadly. “But, I don’t… where could he have gone?”
At first Clara stood there, confused. And then she got angry.
“He didn’t even say goodbye,” she hissed to herself. “He could’ve at least—he could have said goodbye. We went through so much together!”
Clara eventually gave up and returned to Jamie and Artie’s home. When she got to her room, she sat on the bed. On the table were still the biscuits and flowers that the Doctor had placed there. As if they were the main confirmation that she had not been dreaming the Doctor up. Then she rushed around her room, opened the window and looked down at the spot where she had seen the Doctor working on the walking bay station robot the night before. Even then she could see him in her mind as he had smiled up at her.
“Are you guarding me?” She had asked him.
“Well, yes,” he replied, smiling.
“Are you seriously going to sit down there all night?”
“Yes, I promise, that I won’t budge from this spot,” he grinned, sitting cross-legged. As if he were still there, she saw that smile of his. He promised that he wouldn’t budge, but now he was gone. She had only had him for one night. But this was different than all the other times. They didn’t know each other long enough for her to have done something to chase him off. No, she was certain of it.
“What did I do?” Clara asked the empty space where she remembered the Doctor being. “Why didn’t you come back?”
Clara bit her lip, but chose not to take this one lying down.
“No,” she voiced, determined, “I’ve let too many people walk away from me. But not now. You had a blue box, and you’ll show up again one day. You will, because I’m going to find you.”
She closed the window, stood up, and her resolution was set.
One day, she was going to find the Doctor.
We all chase the Doctor, in the end. And we are always lucky that every now and again, he slows down just enough for us to catch up with him!
Cour M.
* * *
[1] This next segment is in reference to the episode ‘The Chase’ from the second season of Classic Who. Also these robotic creations have two spellings technically: mechanoids and mechonoids, so both spellings shall appear when Eleven references th
em.
[2] This sentence is in reference to an idea that did actually kind of roll around in the RTD Era. It’s been said that in the Doctor Who Confidentials, Russell T Davies comments that he likes to imagine that the Daleks stored the Empire State Building in their memory banks and returned there deliberately as a result in ‘Daleks in Manhattan/Evolution of the Daleks’.
[3] In the episode, ‘Gridlock’, the face of Boe was this powerful large head, and it would be later revealed in ‘The Last of the Timelords’ that it was Jack Harkness when he got to the end of his days and finally did die after living for centuries.
[4] This is in fact the same Dream Lord from the episode ‘Amy’s Choice’ in series 5.
[5] This is a reference to the Watchtower that appears in Lord of the Rings, Fellowship of the Ring. The Watchtower is called Weathertop, and this is mostly done not because Tolkien and Lewis would have realistically even met at this point, but to show how their work did influence each other. People often rarely know that C.S. Lewis’s voice was actually the voice that Tolkien was hearing when he wrote the character of Treebeard in his books. So since C.S. Lewis is embodied in Lord of the Rings, I felt that it would be fun if Tolkien’s concept appeared in some way in C.S. Lewis’s literary realm.
[6] Kate says this because in ‘Day of the Doctor’, the zygons tried to invade them and imprisoned her for a bit. Naturally she would despise them.
[7] River Song joins this adventure just before she meets Ten in the episode Silence in the Library.
[8] When she says this, she had no idea that when she goes to the Library, she will meet Ten.
[9] In the first part of this trilogy, Nine took Clara to Uxarieus where there was a black hole suspended in time there, while attached to another planet, Jexari. This is where that black hole was spawned from, and when the Doctor first saw this phenomenon there, he was the War Doctor.
[10] Now we are back to the episode ‘The Bells of Saint John’, and Eleven has just arrived where he is about to invite Clara to travel with him.