Michael becomes anxious about each lawsuit filed against him, but often not until it involves his personal participation which is usually at the time of deposition. ‘He has, on some occasions in the past, not eaten when he should,’ says Oxman. ‘He can become very concerned and nervous at depositions. He doesn’t like lawsuits, and it makes him ill to have to cope with litigation that people heap on him. He is tired of being sued. But this is the kind of life that Michael leads. No one wants to be reasonable. Everyone wants to be crazy.’
Fathers and Sons
Perhaps it’s not surprising that one person more moved by Martin Bashir’s Living With Michael Jackson documentary than maybe anyone else in the Jackson family was Michael’s father, Joseph. Every time he sees Michael on television describing how he was beaten as a child, Joseph can’t help but cringe.
Today, Joseph regrets many of his actions, wishes he had made different choices as a parent – even if he does put up a tough front. Michael first spoke about his view of his father in a 1993 interview by Oprah Winfrey. ‘There were times when he’d come to see me, I’d get sick,’ Michael said. ‘I’d start to regurgitate. He’s never heard me say this,’ Michael added. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said, looking into the camera. ‘Please don’t be mad at me.’ He hastened to add, ‘But I do love him.’ Afterwards, a visibly hurt Joseph went on television and said, ‘I didn’t know he was ’gurgitatin’, [sic] but if he did ’gurgitate, he ’gurgitated all the way to the bank.’ True to the nature of their conflicted relationship, Michael then felt so badly about his words to Oprah that, to show his deep regret, he bought Joseph a new automobile.
‘I was tough on him,’ Joseph told me of Michael, a few years before Oprah’s interview. At the time, he and Michael weren’t even speaking; the subject of their disagreement was not known to me. ‘See, the thing is that I wanted him to know that the world was not a nice place,’ Joseph went on. ‘He was so damn sensitive, more than the other kids, I was worried about him. Me and Katie both were. So, yeah, I admit it,’ he said, a bit defensively. ‘I was hard on him. Maybe too much, huh?’ His eyes searched my face for an answer. ‘Maybe I should have backed off, do you think? I don’t know. I do know this. I would do it differently, today.’ He shook his head, sadly and concluded, ‘What father doesn’t wish he had the chance to go back and do it… differently?’
By February 2003, Joseph’s son, Michael, was four years older than Joseph had been on the day he took his talented boys to Motown to audition for the company. Then, Joseph was vigorous and full of fight, arguing with Berry Gordy and Ewart Abner, playing around behind his wife’s back and ordering his boys about in his own inimitable way. Now, he’s slowed down. He sometimes finds it difficult to rise from a chair.
Those who know him best say that seventy-three-year-old Joseph Jackson has become, in his senior years, sentimental and even sad about the past. He wishes his relationship with his wife and children had been better, more satisfying. Somehow, he has managed to set it straight with Katherine, especially in the last ten years. Despite all that has happened to their family – the in-fighting, family politics, hurt, anger, betrayal and disappointment – Joseph and Katherine, seventy-two, remain united as husband and wife. They have been married for more than fifty years. The names of the women who have come and gone from their lives have been relegated to the distant past. ‘Now, what was that girl’s name?’ Katherine recently asked him in front of a family member. They were speaking of Gina Sprague, from almost twenty-five years ago. Joseph thought for a moment, and had to smile. ‘I swear to God,’ he said, ‘I can’t remember.’ Katherine looked perplexed for a moment, then exclaimed, ‘My goodness, Joseph. Neither can I. Oh, well…’
Given all the evidence, it could be said that what should have been the story of a family’s transcendence and triumph over poverty turned out, instead, to be a tale of tragedy and disappointment. However, maybe that’s a cynical view of the Jacksons’ story. What if Joseph hadn’t been so driven to transform the lives of his family? What if they’d never left Gary, Indiana? Would they have been better off there? It’s doubtful. They’ve had a remarkable, thrilling life in Los Angeles, even with all of the intense, and often hurtful, melodrama.
‘At the root of it, we love each other,’ Joseph has explained, ‘and I guess that’s what has kept us together all these years. Even when it got bad,’ he said, before correcting himself with a smile, ‘even when I got bad and I didget bad, that woman loved me, and my kids loved me, I like to think. You don’t see that in this world so much. I’m a lucky man.’
Joseph and Katherine were both upset about the Martin Bashir documentary. They know how easy it is to paint a sensational picture of their most famous son. They felt that Bashir had exploited his obvious eccentricities, and were incensed by his machinations. They were also moved by Michael’s recollection of his childhood. It was obvious from his demeanour that he was still in such pain.
When Joseph telephoned Michael early the next morning, he found him crying. Michael said he felt wretched about the way the documentary had turned out and, according to a family member, he told his father, ‘I just hope that, in twenty years, my kids don’t see it. What will they think of me, Joseph?’
Joseph said that he and Katherine wanted to visit him as soon as possible at Neverland. It had been some time since they’d been to the ranch. Michael was suspicious. In the past, whenever Joseph wanted to meet with him it had to do with a scheme to reunite him with his brothers. Michael didn’t have the energy to turn him down again. ‘I promise you, Michael, it’s not about the brothers,’ Joseph said. ‘It’s about us, you and me and Katherine. Plus,’ he said, ‘we want to see the kids. Please.’ (He was referring to his grandchildren.) ‘They’re as important to us as they are to you, Michael.’
Michael must have been moved. Whereas show business was once paramount in his life, it’s true that his children are, today, his primary concern, his great passion. Ironically, the allegations of sexual abuse levelled against him a decade ago, those charges that practically laid ruin to his life and career, had a surprising consequence: they were the catalyst for change. Evan Chandler, father of Jordie, had promised to ruin Michael. ‘You’re going down,’ he told him. ‘You are going down.’ It was a terrible threat, one no person would ever want to hear. In an effort to reprioritize his world, Michael then reached within to learn what might truly matter to him. He wanted to be vitally involved in something meaningful, not just in show business, and he decided that it would be in the raising of his own children that he would find the most satisfaction. So, he had children – not in a conventional manner, but what else could one expect of Michael Jackson?
Katherine and Joseph arrived at Neverland a few days after the United States broadcast of the Martin Bashir programme. They would then spend the next five days with Michael and his children. Mornings would begin with the ritual of Katherine and Michael having breakfast together on one of the patios, the air thick with the mingled scent of the wildflowers Katherine has said she so enjoys. They would then feed the children in the expansive kitchen.
Meanwhile, Joseph would sleep late in one of the guest quarters. When he awakened, a personal butler, on staff at Neverland, would assist him with his morning needs. Joseph would then spend afternoons with Michael, taking in the well-manicured vistas of Neverland, talking privately. From all accounts, they looked happy to be together. One of the few associates of Michael’s also present that week at Neverland recalled the afternoon father and son were seen having a picnic with Prince Michael I on one of Neverland’s verdant lawns. Katherine and Paris were off with a staff member to a Toys ‘R’ Us store in nearby San Maria. (The baby spent the afternoon, sleeping.) Because it had rained earlier in the day, dampness lingered into the chilly February afternoon. Still, as they ate a fried chicken meal prepared by Michael’s personal chef, the bright sun shone down upon them, three generations of Jackson men, laying on a blanket… talking, laughing and enjoying each other’s company. �
��I love him,’ Michael later said of his father, ‘and I totally, totally forgive him.’
Joseph and Katherine were delighted to check in on their grandchildren and see how Michael was progressing with them. They found that Prince Michael I and Paris are bright, confident, affectionate and considerate. They pray before meals. They are polite, thoughtful and funny. Michael becomes angry when they swear, as they sometimes do since most of their friends are adults. He never spanks them, however; he would never lay a hand on them, but as he puts it, ‘No means no.’ He doesn’t raise his voice in anger, and doesn’t seem to have to do so – they are generally well behaved. If one does act up, he or she has to endure a ‘time out’, which means standing in a corner, alone, to cool off.
Michael explained that he rations the youngsters’ toys and sends presents they receive as Christmas gifts from his fans to orphanages around the world, allowing the children to keep just one. He has taught them not to refer to any of their toys as ‘mine’, when friends are over to visit; he wants them to learn to share. It’s telling, maybe, that he doesn’t like seeing his children stare into a mirror for too long when getting ready for the day. ‘I look great,’ young Prince once said, as he combed his hair. ‘No, you look okay,’ Michael said, correcting him. Though Michael has always been frightened of dogs (since being bitten as a child), he got over his fear in order to buy the children a much-wanted Golden Retriever. If they have a question (and children always have questions), Michael will not give them an answer unless he is sure it is accurate. He makes use of his expansive library to look up factual responses to even the most innocuous questions asked by his children.
Michael and his governesses dress Prince up as if he were little Lord Fauntleroy, whereas Paris wears dainty, lacy and velvet dresses. The baby, Prince Michael II, seems happy and well-adjusted. All three openly adore their father. Once a year, he dresses up in full clown regalia, and thrills them. ‘If I could spend all my time with Daddy, I would do it,’ Prince Michael I told Katherine. ‘I think he’s the best daddy in the whole world.’ Michael scooped the boy up into his arms. ‘And you’re the best little Prince, ever,’ Michael said, kissing his face. ‘I love you,’ said the child. ‘I love you, more,’ Michael responded.
While Michael was recording tracks for Invincible at The Hit Factory Criteria studio in North Miami, Prince Michael I spilled some popcorn on the floor. A producer was about to bend over to clean it up when Michael intervened. ‘No, let me,’ he said, apologetically. ‘He’s my kid. I’ll clean up after him.’ Then, according to the producer, ‘I look down and there’s Michael Jackson on his hands and knees picking up his son’s popcorn. I’m not sure you would see Madonna doing that.’
Of course, there could be problems for his family in the future. The day may come when his three progeny will wonder why their mothers have decided to play such a small part in their lives. They could feel abandoned. Might they one day lament their childhoods, just as their father does his? Though there are never any guarantees in child rearing – only time will tell how these three will turn out – Michael Jackson’s family is unique in almost every way. His children face challenges in life perhaps even greater than those faced by their famous father.
Their being made to wear brightly coloured gauze scarves that resemble burkas, and other kinds of disguises, in public is disturbing. The two older ones must watch television and movies and realize that they are the only kids on the planet earth wearing masks when it’s not Halloween. Certainly, being forced to hide their faces in public puts the two Prince Michaels and Paris at risk of becoming antisocial, paranoid adults.
In the summer of 2003, Michael and his two oldest children went shopping in a Santa Monica store. He had on a red-and-white baseball cap, and a lavender surgical mask. Prince, then six, wore smart little slacks, a vest. Paris, then five, had on a red sweater and plaid skirt, with ruby-coloured shoes that resembled Dorothy’s from The Wizard of Oz. Both children had on red-and-black Spider Man masks, which covered them from the neck up. Father and children were followed by LaToya, in a straw hat. What a scene.
Why does Michael think his children must be protected in such unprecedented ways from kidnappers? Again, using Jackie Kennedy Onassis as an example, no woman was ever more famous than she was, nor more protective of her and the President’s children. Yet, she would never have thought to make them wear masks in public. In fact, no celebrity in recent memory – if ever – has seen fit to disguise his or her children in such an outlandish way. Even after Frank Sinatra’s son, Frank, Jr., was kidnapped in 1963, Sinatra didn’t make him wear a disguise to prevent future abductions! It begs the question of whether such costumes are for the children’s sake, or a way for Michael to distinguish himself as the most prominent, sought-after man in the world, thus his offspring the most prominent, sought-after progeny? At the very least, he seems to be imposing his own fears on to them. However, they’re his children, it could be argued, and he can therefore raise them anyway he sees fit, as long as he doesn’t abuse them. (Also, Debbie Rowe has said it was her idea that the children wear masks and scarves. However, given Michael’s ages-old habit of wearing disguises in public, that explanation doesn’t seem likely.)
The weird ways he disguises his children aside, has Michael Jackson finally found happiness as a father?
On some days, yes, it would seem that way. From all accounts, he is a father who is good to, and for, his children. He has joyous times with them, watching them grow up, being completely involved in their lives. Hopefully, parenthood has been a self-educating experience for him and he’s now setting straight for himself his history of abuse and yearning for a better childhood, by giving to his own children that for which he has so longed – love, with no strings attached, nothing expected in return, unconditional.
On other days, he remains one of the walking wounded, a lost boy holed up at Neverland, cowering from an ever-pressing world. ‘How can I get past the pain?’ he recently asked one associate. ‘That’s the question I ask myself. I’m so tired of being controlled by fear,’ he admitted, ‘and by my own bullshit.’ He’s working on himself, working on forgiveness. He has good days, he has bad – the latter spent sitting atop his so-called Magic Tree content to retreat into his imagination, reviewing his life, feeling unhappy about the way things are, coping as best he can with it and wanting to effect change in his life – just wanting some relief from it all. Who knows, but maybe when stripped of all of his fortune and celebrity – and his unconventional behaviour – it’s in that very human place of restless discontent that some of us can find commonality with, of all people, Michael Jackson.
About two years before the Martin Bashir interview was broadcast, Michael gave a speech at Oxford University about raising children, launching his global initiative for his ‘Heal the Kids’ charity. Much of what he said was absorbing, especially in that it seemed to have as much to do with his feelings about Joseph as it did about his own experiences as a father. ‘“What if they grow older and resent me, and how my choices impacted their youth?’ Michael asked rhetorically of his children. “Why weren’t we given a normal childhood like all the other kids?” they might ask. And at that moment I pray that my children will give me the benefit of the doubt. That they will say to themselves: Our daddy did the best he could, given the unique circumstances he faced. I hope,’ he concluded, ‘that they will always focus on the positive things, on the sacrifices I willingly made for them, and not criticize the things they had to give up, or the errors I’ve made, and will certainly continue to make in raising them. We all have been someone’s child, and we know that despite the very best of plans and efforts, mistakes will always occur. That’s just being human.’
The week Michael’s parents visited in February 2003, Michael enjoyed most of his time with them. Of course, as sometimes happens with families who’ve had a troubled history, there was a brief and sudden disturbance. On the third day, Michael and Joseph became embroiled in a disagreement. The specific subje
ct of the quarrel is unknown, but witnesses recall Michael loudly insisting to his father, ‘It’s none of your business, Joseph. This is my house.’ It sounded like the sort of argument that has been engaged in by grown children and their visiting parents throughout the ages. Joseph stormed off to his guest quarters, where he remained for about three hours. Katherine ran to be with Michael; the two had an intense conference in the kitchen, as Michael cradled Prince Michael II. By sunset, however, whatever it was that had caused the abrupt outburst had blown over; Joseph joined his wife and son, and grandchildren, for dinner in the ornate dining room.
On their final morning together, it again rained. As the black limousine approached that would take the senior Jacksons on their two-hour drive back to Encino, the day’s first sun rays shimmered through dark clouds, suddenly filling the sky with incandescent light. Michael was dressed for a meeting scheduled that day with business associates; he was fashioned as if he were European royalty in a black jacket, a white-on-white tuxedo shirt and a tie with crests on it. An artificial mane of jet-black hair in a straight, pageboy cut fell just to his shoulders. He was also in full makeup, with thick eyeliner and densely pencilled eyebrows and lipstick. He even had powder on his hands. He and his mother embraced, holding on to each other for a long moment. Katherine whispered something into her son’s ear. He smiled, broadly, and kissed her on the cheek. Affectionately, Joseph then took hold of Katherine’s arm and helped her into the stretch vehicle. After Katherine was seated, Joseph turned to Michael and pulled him into a bear hug. Michael seemed to melt into his father’s arms. The two held on for a long moment. When he finally released him, Joseph patted Michael on the shoulder, straightened his tie for him in a fatherly fashion, and then got into the car.
The tall, oak gates of Neverland opened before them as the Jackson parents were slowly driven away, leaving Michael at the foot of the long, long road leading out of the ranch. He waved goodbye. As they disappeared into the horizon, Michael lingered a while, perhaps with memories flooding him fully, carrying him back to Encino with his parents, farther back even, to Gary with the rest of his family.
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