The better question was, could he live without Nicole?
An invisible fist clenched Jake’s throat. Nicole was worth everything. She was all he had.
There wasn’t a universe that existed where he could live without her.
* * * * *
Nicole leaned back in the chair, rolling the stem of the wineglass between her fingers. A few drops of red liquid sloshed around in the bottom. The earthy flavors clung to her palate, but most of all it dulled the tension clinging to her after a full day at the office.
Her coworkers chattered around the bar, clumping together in social cliques that left her the odd person out. Nicole hadn’t missed being excluded from her old circle of friends. Not that she could blame them. She’d avoided these get-togethers since her pregnancy and practically shunned them after.
Early on, Nicole had chosen to be completely secretive about her pregnancy. She’d just taken on this job thanks to an old friend who had since left, and knew the boss would have had a cow if she’d started discussing maternity leave. So she’d kept it a secret, even from her new friends, which wound up destroying her social circles.
“Sorry I’m late.” Tanya dropped into the empty seat next to her and flashed a smile. Dressed to impress, Tanya appeared every inch a successful businesswoman in a tailored blue herringbone pantsuit and pink shirt. As Nicole had discovered, the woman had a closet worth being jealous of.
“Hey, I was beginning to wonder if you were coming.” Nicole returned the smile. After spending Sunday hanging out together, she found she actually liked Tanya, and for more than her shoes.
“Of course. Cole’s out with some of the guys, so this was perfect. Ordered anything yet?” Tanya picked up a happy hour menu and glanced at the offerings.
“Just some wine.” Nicole hid her wince by taking another sip. If Cole was out drinking with the guys, Jake would be there too. She hoped he wouldn’t drink himself sick. He only did it about once a year, usually when something really upset him. She hoped someone drove him home, not that she expected another cop to let him walk out even buzzed.
“Good call,” Tanya replied, unaware of Nicole’s mental turmoil. “How do you like it?”
I hate it. Oh, the wine, not the guys being out. “It’s nice.”
Tanya snagged a passing waitress and ordered more wine and some finger foods.
It would probably be frowned on if Nicole licked the empty glass. She set it down and glanced at her phone. Jake hadn’t tried to contact her since Saturday morning. She couldn’t decide if she was glad he was walking away or disappointed he wasn’t fighting her on it. She did want a divorce, didn’t she?
“Hey.” Tanya touched her wrist on the table. “How you doing?”
“Hanging in here.”
“What are you ladies talking about?” Collin, one of her fellow management analysts, leaned against their table, close enough his shoulders bumped hers. “Hi, I’m Collin.”
“Tanya.” She extended her hand and shook Collin’s, effectively caging Nicole in the man’s arms for a moment. His cologne teased her nose, something rich and multifaceted. She’d wondered once what it might be like to have a man like him in her life—stylish, educated and motivated.
“And what do you do, Tanya?” Collin propped his elbow on the table, setting his megawatt smile on her.
Collin should have been a sales rep, and maybe he had been in another life. He could charm anyone into believing the words that fell from his lips. He was funny and smart, with the most beautiful bright-blue eyes and dark hair. If Nicole had met him when she’d been single, he’d have had to fight her off. Instead they’d worked together amicably with only minor harmless flirting.
“I run a small company that specializes in helping companies go green, as well as disaster management.” Tanya folded her hands in her lap and the corner of her mouth kicked up in what Nicole was coming to understand as the woman’s mischievous nature showing through. Tanya was not a woman who followed the norms of society.
“I don’t think I understood half of that. Care to explain it to me? Can I buy you ladies a drink?” Collin chuckled and propped his chin up on his fist.
“We have wine coming,” Nicole replied.
“Well let me buy your next round.” Collin rested his hand briefly on her knee, an innocent gesture, really.
“Basically I help companies reduce their carbon footprint,” Tanya began.
Tanya had given her the whole spiel the day before. It was actually a very ingenious business plan she had going. She helped companies figure out how to put in rooftop gardens, find ways to cut costs and have a better impact on the environment. In addition, she tapped into her background doing humanitarian work and assisted in organizing natural disaster cleanup and rescue. It was a big bag of tricks, but Tanya seemed to thrive doing it.
The waitress set the next round of wine down in front of them and Nicole cradled her new glass, more than happy to sit on the sidelines and sip her alcohol while Tanya dazzled Collin.
She made the appropriate replies when spoken to, when the lull in conversation necessitated she offer a comment, but otherwise she was happy to be a spectator. Three or maybe four glasses of wine into the evening, she felt herself easing into the mood. Laughing came easier and her worries faded into the background.
“Hey, do you need me to drive you home?” Collin leaned close enough she could smell him again. She liked that he didn’t spray it on too strong, not like some men. Jake smelled nice. Like soap, shampoo and man. She was going to miss that about him.
“I know, honey,” Tanya muttered to her before turning to Collin. “You know, Nicole only lives a few blocks from me. I think I can handle it.” Tanya hoisted Nicole up and out of her chair, plucking the wineglass from her hand.
“Is it time to go?” Nicole blinked around them, startled to find they were some of the last left in the bar. Had they really been there that long?
“It is. Come on. Give me your purse.”
Why was Tanya acting as if she were drunk? She was totally sober.
“Here, I’ve got her on this side.” Collin took her other arm and wrapped an arm around her waist.
The trio made it out of the restaurant and onto the sidewalk without incident, though the room did seem to have taken on a warm glow and something was up with her shoes. They wobbled oddly as she walked.
“I can drive myself. I’m totally fine.” Nicole leaned heavily on Tanya and the trio shambled to the left.
“You are, but I’m a concerned friend,” Tanya replied, chuckling as she spoke. “This is me right here.”
Collin helped Nicole into the passenger side seat of Tanya’s sporty wagon. He leaned down as she settled and fumbled with the seatbelt.
“Here.” He pulled the buckle out and leaned across her to fasten it.
She caught a whiff of his scent again, something rich and multilayered. His hand skated over her outer thigh and bells clamored in her head. Once or twice was an accident, but that was intentional, and she was a married woman.
“Thanks for helping us,” Tanya said far too loud.
“Let me know you ladies get home, okay?” Collin continued to stand in the door.
“Sure thing,” Tanya replied.
“Okay.” Collin’s gaze flicked to her and he smiled. “See you tomorrow.”
The door finally closed and Tanya hit the accelerator and shot backward out of the spot. Nicole gripped the door handle and glared at the other woman.
“Easy.” Her stomach lurched as they zipped out of the parking lot.
“Sorry.”
“I’m not that tipsy,” Nicole insisted.
“Keep telling yourself that. I’m pretty sure you drank my wine and yours.”
“Did I?”
“Yup.”
“Oh I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. You probably needed this. Let’s get you home and some real food in you.”
“Is Jake out drinking with Cole?” Nicole’s brain had circled t
hat very likely possibility since she mentioned it.
“I don’t know if Jake is there specifically, but I do know they were going out after they got done tonight.”
“That’s a yes. He hasn’t called me. I don’t know if I’m happy or sad.” She stared at the ceiling of the car, rolling the thoughts around in her head.
The rest of the drive passed in silence, save for the radio. They pulled up at her little house and Nicole walked in barefoot. The floor tilted dangerously under her.
“Yup, I’m drunk,” she announced to the empty house.
“I could have told you that. Don’t leave your keys in the door.” Tanya closed the front door after her, bringing the keys Nicole had left in the lock with her.
“How am I going to get to work tomorrow?” Nicole took the keys and deposited them on the kitchen counter with her purse.
“I’ll come by and get you. It’s going to be okay. I do need to run. Are you fine here by yourself? Or do you want to get your things and come stay at my place?”
Nicole didn’t want to stay by herself. She hated being alone, knowing there wasn’t someone coming to be with her. But she needed to get used to it.
“No, I’ll be okay. Go.”
“Lock the door behind me?”
“Will do.”
Tanya gave her a quick hug and left. Probably a good thing since Nicole couldn’t offer her more than a spot on the floor or a glass of water.
She locked the deadbolt and went to the kitchen to get something to put in her stomach that wouldn’t make her sick.
The back door creaked open the slightest bit.
“Damn door. Jake never fixed it, did he?” she groused, stalking over and shoving it closed. It had always stuck in the frame, but it had gotten worse the last few years. She flipped the lock and dusted her hands. Tomorrow she’d take care of it. For tonight, she wanted some TV and food.
He moved through the house, keeping on the balls of his feet and avoiding the places that squeaked. He’s spent enough time familiarizing himself with the layout and peculiarities of this house that it was an easy feat to move soundlessly. The women’s voices went back and forth as they moved through the front portion of the house.
There was still no sign of Officer Jake Vant, which was frustrating. Where was the man? And could he use the woman to get to him?
There were too many questions and not enough answers. For now he would continue to bide his time.
Chapter Four
Jake fit the last piece of his handgun together and slapped the timer. He could take a gun apart, clean it and rebuild it in his sleep, the pressure now was time. At least he lost himself in the motions that were as familiar to him as the back of his hand.
There were six months until the annual US SWAT Challenge in Vegas. Starting today the entire Metro City SWAT division was gearing up for a series of tests. Each month for the next four months there would be qualifiers for the one team of eight people the city would send to compete. Jake planned on competing this year. Even that left a bitter taste in his mouth.
Nicole had talked him into it. He’d never gone before, though Cole and the others had done everything short of hogtying him and tossing him in the luggage to get him to go. The Challenge always fell on Nicole’s birthday and there was no way he could miss it. Though she’d scaled back from the big parties, birthdays, holidays and other celebrations mattered to her. He’d always felt more like a family during those events, even though he hated the fuss that went into planning everything. Now he missed her lists, the last-minute dashes to the store and even dressing up.
They’d planned for her to go with them this year so they could do Vegas together. It was one of the few things they’d discussed doing as a couple in the last year.
“You could at least act like you’re paying attention to what you’re doing.” Cole tossed a rag at him and pressed his own timer, writing the digits down and starting over again.
The task was to break the gun down and put it back together ten times. All the slots were full on Jake’s sheet.
“You do realize I was cleaning guns before I could shoot them?” Jake took the rag Cole had thrown at him and used it to wipe his station down.
“Dirty rotten country boys,” Aaron said in his best drawl from the other side of Cole.
“Girls, you do realize you could do this faster with less gossiping?” Becca set her handgun down and turned toward Jake. She was their team’s other sniper, besides Jake, and specialized in manning the robot used to defuse bombs and other suspicious items.
“Shut it,” Aaron called out as he began to break his piece down again.
“Done.” Cole scrawled the last time on his sheet and tossed the pencil down.
“This is bullshit,” Aaron said.
“It’s okay to not be good at something, precious,” Becca cooed.
Aaron muttered a curse Jake couldn’t hear. Becca winked at him. The woman enjoyed nothing better than getting under Aaron’s skin. It was a wonder the two weren’t all over each other the way they picked and fought. It was like watching two children on the playground.
“I’ll see you guys later.” She gathered her things.
“Where you off to?” Aaron asked as he got the pieces apart.
“Is that any of your business? Try to not get too drunk without me tonight, boys.” Becca took her personal kit with her and strolled out of the room, leaving the three men alone as the last group through the range today.
The door thudded behind her, sealing them in a soundproof tunnel. The work area they were currently set up in seemed to have been added on as an afterthought by whoever designed the building. It could have been a wide, L-shaped hall before you entered the armory and the small gun range. Instead the walls were lined with cabinets and there were stools at small work benches that made it a tight fit if seven people were working away at once.
“How’s your head today?” Cole asked, swiveling his stool toward Jake.
“Good enough.” He’d woken to a splitting headache, sprawled over the couch with two trash cans next to him and a plastic drop sheet spread out on the floor. He didn’t know when Cole and Aaron had left his drunk ass finally, but they’d locked up after themselves. It was a pathetic way to wake up, but he’d at least managed to get to the station on time and run drills.
“Talked to Nicole yet?” Cole leaned against the counter, Aaron still going through the exercise on his other side.
“Not yet.”
“Thought of a plan?”
Jake shifted on the stool. His plan was basic—seduce Nicole. The hows were tricky. He’d lucked into doing it right the first time. There was no way he’d do it a second without a road map and checklist. Too bad he hadn’t been able to order either at the bar last night.
“Dude, marriage is a trap,” Aaron interjected. He’d said the same phrase since he’d gotten engaged. He turned toward Jake, the exercise momentarily forgotten. “Have you considered that divorce might be the best thing for you?”
Jake’s reaction was immediate. Visceral. An invisible hand clenched his gut and he tasted bile. Divorce was the last thing he wanted.
“Shut your mouth, Aaron,” Cole ordered.
“Hey, I’m just saying.” Aaron shrugged and finished his time. “I broke it off with Angel and it’s the best thing I could have done for myself.”
“What?” Cole nearly fell off the stool, he spun around so fast.
“When did this happen?” Jake straightened. The couple had only been engaged for maybe six months. The first Jake had heard of her was about a month before the engagement, when Aaron had asked about a good place to buy rings. Hell, the relationship had been so short Jake had only met the elusive Angel twice. She hadn’t left a great impression on anyone, so he wasn’t sad to hear about the split, but he did wonder at the course of events.
Aaron didn’t reply for a moment as he fitted his gun back together, tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth. He slapped the timer and jotted the nu
mbers down in his illegible chicken scratch.
“Last night. I couldn’t do it. I’m better off a free man. Well, I’ll see you guys later.” Aaron picked up his things and left just as abruptly as he’d spilled his news.
Neither Jake or Cole spoke in the man’s wake, both watching until the door swung shut and cut them off from the rest of the building again.
“Something’s up,” Cole said after a moment.
Jake swung around to face him. “You think?”
“Doesn’t surprise me.” Cole shook his head. “Let’s worry about him later. I was thinking of something last night but you got too piss drunk.”
“Excuse me for working my problems out in a few bottles.”
“Bottles? Try cases.” Cole laughed.
“Yeah, whatever.” Jake wasn’t about to admit the truth, that last night wasn’t one of his brighter moments. He was all for hearing any idea that had even the most unlikely of possibilities of helping. “Your grand idea?”
“It’s not a grand idea, just something.” Cole scratched the back of his neck, and unless the man had spent a lot of time outside since lunch, the red spreading up his throat wasn’t a sunburn. “You said you wanted to win her back. Well, back when Tanya and I were having some issues, she went to this shop. It sells girly, frilly stuff and like, adult toys.”
“You mean vibrators and shit?” Jake was well acquainted with a number of tools to stimulate female pleasure. Clearly he had one up on his younger sergeant. One of the tricks about having a much younger wife was finding other ways to keep up with her enthusiasm in bed. There wasn’t anything wrong with using a dildo to stimulate multiple orgasms for her pleasure, so long as at least one involved his cock.
“Yes, but more than that.” Cole waved his hand, but for the life of him, Jake couldn’t figure out what Cole was talking about.
“What am I supposed to do? Tie her up and throw lace at her?” Been there. Done that. Quite a few times before he even knew there was a name for it. He just knew that on occasion it made Nicole real wet.
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