“I doona love her, Abby,” he said into her hair as he pulled her into him.
How could he explain Gillyanne to her? She wouldn’t understand.
“Gillyanne is leaving, Abby. Now that I’ve married ye, I have asked her to leave.”
Abby nodded. “I wanted t-to give you a f-flower,” she said, lowering her eyes. She peaked her head out of his embrace. “It’s trivial,” she said shaking her head, smiling.
He smiled in response. “No, it isna trivial. Come, let’s go get it,” he said, lacing his hands with hers.
They retrieved the flower and he walked her back to her chambers.
“Abby, I know…” He stopped and began anew. “Will ye be well here in yer room?” Cameron asked slowly. He really meant to ask whether she was scared because she claimed to have seen things.
Abby looked up at him so trustingly. She smiled and the sun rose within the cave of his heart.
“Y-yes, Cameron. Thank you,” she said and gave him the flower. He noticed her furtive glance towards her room, and the way she squeezed her hands together.
Why didn’t she trust him enough to tell him about her fears?
“Is something troubling ye?”
She smiled reassuringly. “Nay, Cameron.” Her pretty blush deepened.
He wanted her. The realization shook him. The feeling was stronger than with any previous woman he had been with. He knew he had to keep a reign on his desire for her sake.
“Why doona I come in for awhile? We havena spoken much to one another. Would ye like to get to know me and my family better?”
It was Cameron’s intent to enter the room and observe what transpired, if anything. He wanted to calm her anxiety. He also wanted to do something else, namely something carnal.
He clenched his fists in an effort to control the urge.
Abby looked around, her brows furrowed. She turned her green gaze on him. “Are you certain that it is p-proper?” she asked, and swallowed.
He laughed. “Of course it is, Abby. We are married.”
She blushed. It was beautifully endearing.
Damn, but he needed some strong ale. What was the matter with him? He was becoming a milksop.
Abby walked into the room and he followed, closing the door behind him. She awkwardly waited for him to say something.
“Let’s sit here.” Cameron pointed to the bed. Although she was shy, he knew that she wasn’t a submissive mouse. He detested meek and cowardly women. He knew, though, from that horrible night, that she was neither cowardly nor meek. That night she was pure fire and courage. She had protected herself when the need had arisen.
Abby sat on the edge and he sat across from her, resting his back on the wall. His eyes roamed over her form.
His desire flared.
“I already know about yer f-family.”
She watched him. Just merely staring at her beauty robbed his breath away. It seemed to him as if her green eyes were shimmering.
“Really? How so?”
“Alice told m-me,” she said with a small smile. Still her speech was new to her tongue, and she stuttered quite a bit.
“Yes, Mother does have the gift of gab.” He twisted his lips wryly but there was a light in his eyes.
She laughed. “Don’t talk about Alice s-so. She is w-wonderful and very warm towards me.”
He appreciated her defense of his mother. That told him much about her. “How far back did she go?”
“Oh, very far back,” she said and laughed as he rolled her eyes. “Your family is very interesting, Cameron.”
“Do ye believe all of it? Even about the border wars being started by yer lineage?” He studied her closely. Their families had always been enemies.
“Aye, I d-do,” she said immediately and unthinkingly. That pleased him.
“Why?”
After a long pause, her eyes returned to his. “Because I know m-my father and he c-comes from b-bad men. I c-come from bad men.” She couldn’t hold his gaze when she said that. Abby began smoothing the quilt.
Did she believe she was bad?
“Ye’re not, bad Abigail.” She looked up quickly. “Ye’re like yer mother.”
She shook her head. “I l-love my m-mother, Cameron, but I am not l-like her either. Although I am a c-coward, I c-could never stay with a man l-like my father.”
“It isna as easy for women, Abby. Something tells me yer mother isna happy, but has little choice in the matter.” She looked up at him. He held her regard and asked, “What if I were like yer father?”
Unflinchingly, she answered him. “You’re not, but if you were, I w-would find some way to l-leave you, Cameron.”
A long pause stretched before them. He saw that she was beginning to regret her answer.
“That pleases me, Abby.”
She looked confused. “What?”
“Aye. I would never beat a woman. I detest men who do. Though it would never happen, if I were like yer father, I would hope ye would leave me.”
She studied his face for a moment and nodded. “It isn’t as p-practical for my m-mother, is it? It isn’t s-so s-simple.”
He slowly shook his head. “Nay. Women here have a bit more allowance to do as they please. Never upset a Scottish woman,” he teased, chuckling. Abby smiled. “Wish that it were so for yer mother, but it is a complicated matter. I respect yer mother. In light of all that she had experienced at the whims of yer father, she managed to raise a beautiful and intelligent daughter with a strong spirit.”
Her eyes averted as the color bloomed in her cheeks. “I do not have a strong spirit.”
“Aye, ye do. Ye canna judge yerself by the previous six years.”
Her eyes continued to wander the room until his next words.
“Yer speech is getting better,” he said, changing the subject.
Her smile was wide. Was that a dimple? He found himself wondering what face she would make when she was in ecstasy.
“Alice and Amy have been p-patient with m-me. They have t-taught me how to form my m-mouth. It is awkward, Cameron. I r-remember when I was mute. Even though, sometimes, I was cognizant of everything happening around me, it still f-felt as though I was asleep. I finally feel f-free,” she said, smiling but her eyes showed heavy thought.
“Do ye remember that night so many years ago?”
She paled a little, shaking her head.
“Nay, though I remember that awful m-man, I have no m-memory of that horrible night, save for y-you, of course.” She looked up at him.
“He was too old for ye, Abby.”
She shook her head, smiling ruefully. “Aye, and I told much the s-same to my father. He wanted the border estates Elliot owned. Elliot was in d-debt and needed my d-dowry. I was a c-commodity, like every o-other w-woman is,” she said, looking directly at him.
He thought about her words for a moment.
“He planned to kill ye, to acquire yer dowry and retain his estates.”
“Y-yes. I came to that c-con-clusion. How do you know?”
“Why else would a groom attempt to kill his bride on the night they were wed? Aye, he commissioned those men to wear my plaid in an effort to shift the culpability of the attack to the MacPhersons, the hated enemy of yer father.”
“I also knew his tastes didn’t run t-towards the likes of w-women, anyway, so the r-rumors said.” Cameron’s eyebrows rose.
“Aye. He was always w-with his close friend. I t-told my f-father but he d-denied it.”
“Yer father is ruthless, Abby. He’s the devil.”
She nodded in agreement. “Aye, that he is.”
“I would never marry off a daughter of mine just to gain possessions.” His voice was strong, reflecting his distaste over the practice.
Her head tilted to one side as she studied him. He was a good man, an even better one than she had first thought he was, and she already thought he was perfect.
“D-do you have ch-children, C-Cameron?” Her cheeks slowly reddened with embarr
assment when his face darkened. “I-I’m sorry. I d-didn’t want to upset you. I sh-shouldn’t have asked s-such a private question, forgive me.”
Cameron shook his head looking at her. He admired her more than he thought he could admire anyone. She was strong and spirited, and that pleased him knowing that she would give him strong children.
Children.
Could she give him children?
“Better that ye know, Abby,” he began slowly.
“Kn-know what?”
“Our kings married us to one another in an effort to strengthen the ties between England and Scotland, as King Alexander had married Joan. They believed merging the two warring border families together would help achieve this. But, because I have been loyal to Alexander, he also ordered the annulment of this marriage should a bairn nay be conceived within one year’s time.”
His eyes glided along all points of her beautiful face, one that he would miss seeing once the marriage was annulled.
She blushed prettily. Cameron wanted to kiss her.
“W-well, I’m speechless,” then she laughed loudly, and Cameron smiled in response. “What am I saying? I h-have b-been speechless,” she jested. “Then we must conceive a child, Cameron,” she said with a firm nod, her eyes looking everywhere but at him. “Unless, you want the marriage annulled.” He saw a fear in her eyes.
Abby was shy, and he found it endearing. In a flash he was in front of her, tilting her face up towards him. Her gaze finally moved to his eyes. She stopped breathing. He was so handsome and gentle, yet she knew he protected those he loved with a fierceness.
“I doona want this marriage annulled,” he said softly. “Do ye know how bairns are conceived?” he asked, his voice like soft velvet.
Abby’s face blushed and her skin broke out in gooseflesh as she looked at him. It took a lot of bravery to maintain his stare, but she did it.
“I, ah, I kn-know…something…I…” Her voice trailed off. She set her jaw firmly and lifted her chin a little.
Cameron wanted to laugh at her little show of defiance but didn’t want to hurt her feelings. She had an air of innocence. He doubted she knew much.
“My m-mother and yours both conversed with me, telling me of the relations that t-transpire between a husband and wife.” She began in a normal tone but ended in a bare whisper. He noticed that Abby was busy adjusting the perfectly laid quilt again.
Cameron was close enough to kiss her. He stayed her hand with one of his. The touch caused sparks to flow from one to the other. Her head snapped up and her eyes stared at his. Her lips were open and her tongue swept out to moisten them.
Cameron felt it, too. His desire flared anew.
“I think that the quilt is perfectly pressed now that ye’ve given it yer full ministrations,” he said and tried to smile, but couldn’t. She was so damned beautiful, innocent, and pleasing.
Cameron couldn’t resist. He leaned forward. Abby panicked for a moment when she saw his head was dipping towards her. She steeled her resolve, and leaned forward, meeting him half way.
Fire sparked between them as their lips touched. Cameron felt the desire between them. His body hardened and so did the other part of him. She tasted good, and he wanted more. The sweet nectar of her mouth was just the beginning of the meal, while his body craved the meat of the main course.
Abby didn’t know what was happening to her. Her pulse was racing, her cheeks were flushed, and her hands were shaking. It was a combination of several feelings and physical reactions all in one.
It was the best, but most confusing, she’d ever felt in her life.
She didn’t want these feelings to end. She leaned forward, trying to lean into him.
Abby moved her lips awkwardly, Cameron noticed, but he didn’t much care. That meant no one had made her an expert in the art of kissing, which also meant that he had the honor to teach her.
Teach her, he wanted to indeed.
Cameron wanted to teach her everything about the marriage bed.
The kiss was tender, slow, and loving. Cameron didn’t want to scare her, so he tempered down his passion. He stopped when he felt a few drops sliding down her cheeks. He slowly pulled back, and looked at her, watching as she slowly opened her eyes. They were warm, dazed, passionate, and confused.
“Are ye alright?” His brows furrowed.
Abby nodded her head slowly, closing her eyes for a brief second as she brought her hand to her lips. Her luminous emeralds appeared a heartbeat later, and with that same hand that touched her lips, she touched Cameron’s.
Despite the solid hard muscle she knew existed below his plaid, his lips were soft like the finest of garments. They were full and masculine, but soft and yielding. The smile that spread across her face was warm and welcoming.
Cameron watched her with amazement burning in his stormy eyes. A deep-seeded yearning throbbed through him.
How could she bring forth such emotions within him- passion, lust, admiration, and affection?
Warmth.
Tenderness.
All of these unfamiliar emotions stirred with this battle-hardened warrior.
“I’m alright. I’ve j-just never felt the way I d-do when I’m with you.” Her soft voice was full of wonder.
Cameron reached up to the hand that touched his lips and took hold of it, planting kisses in her palm. She closed her eyes for a second and opened them. There was a light in her eyes and he was drawn to it like a moth.
“How do ye feel?”
Her answering smile took his breath away. With her other hand, she touched her lips.
“I-I feel embarrassed.” She laughed. “Yet I feel warm, and s-something within me aches for you.” Her cheeks were flaming red now. Abby hardened herself, though, despite the embarrassment she felt. She wanted to share this moment with him. She wanted to share this and so much more. When he continued to look at her, though, she said, “I’m sorry. I f-feel so foolish-”
Cameron’s other hand reached out to cup her cheek, never releasing her hand.
“There isna anything to be embarrassed or sorry about. Nothing that transpires between us should be. Ye are nay foolish. Ye never could be.” He caressed the softness of her cheek. “I never want to hear those words from these lips again.”
“Is this w-what happens between a husband and w-wife?”
He rubbed the pad of his thumb over her succulent lips.
“Aye, Abby, and much more.”
“That is how I will get with ch-child.”
His hand dropped away. Abby noticed him withdrawing emotionally.
“W-What is the matter, Cameron?”
He looked at her and she could see the pain in his eyes. Her hand reached to touch his cheek. She wanted to ease his pain.
“You make my heart ache w-with that look in your b-beautiful silver eyes. What troubles y-you?”
“I may nay be able to sire children.” His voice was flat. He had lived with this truth for so many years that saying it left a bitter taste in his mouth.
“But we have not t-tried, Cameron. Y-you cannot say f-for certain.”
How could he explain to her his previous affairs?
“Abby, ye doona understand. I have tried and no children ever resulted. Men are different from women. Although ye are pure and innocent, I have been with other women.”
Her broken mind was now alight with new understanding. She was grasping his meaning.
“So, even while this is your first marriage, you have lain with women such as Gillyanne.”
“Aye. Ye doona have to be married to share a bed with another.”
She nodded her head, finally understanding.
“It is called lust, and it requires neither love nor marriage. Some women are like this, and most men are.”
She stared at him for a long moment, and a tiny smile touched her lips. He saw something move in her eyes.
“You m-mean I could s-sleep with another man, then, and nay be in love or married, Cameron?”
&n
bsp; “Nay! Ye will be with me and only me.”
Abby stared at him as seriously as she could before erupting in laughter. He stared at her before realizing that she had been taunting him.
“Ye were teasing me,” he said incredulously, as if no one ever joked with him.
“Aye, I w-was,” she said, laughing. “And you rose to the o-occasion.”
“Really? And ye find it verra funny, do ye?”
“Oh, yes!”
“Let’s see just how funny ye think it is!”
He tickled her and she fell back on the bed, squirming.
“Cameron! N-Nay, stop! Please!” she said in between fits of laughter.
Cameron felt stupid and liberated at the same time. He didn’t know what got into him but he was enjoying himself with her.
“Not until ye apologize, Abby, and say ye yield to me.”
His deep throaty laughter pleased her ears. His eyes were warm with happiness, and the sides of his eyes crinkled slightly.
“Nay, I will n-not!” Her stomach hurt from squirming and laughing.
“Oh, yes ye will!” He continued the onslaught of tickling.
“How many hands have you g-got!” she yelled.
“Apologize and say ye yield to me.”
She looked so desirable, he could feel his passion flaring.
“Alright!” she squeaked. “Alright! I’m s-sorry!”
“That’s nay good enough! Say ye yield to me,” he said over her.
“Alright! Alright! I y-yield to y-you!” she said, in breathless laughter.
Cameron was kneeling over her prone form. One large hand held her two small ones over her head. She was out of breath and her chest heaved with effort to regain it.
Their eyes locked and the lightning crackled between them. Both stopped breathing as Cameron leaned down towards her. He couldn’t temper his desire this time as he took full possession of her mouth. Fire engulfed him. Their lips collided. His kiss grew demanding and passionate. Not a trace of the sweet slow kiss they shared before was present in this one. In the back of his mind he worried that he may be pushing her too far, but he was helpless to control his desire for her. Cameron wanted her with every fiber of his being. The flame within him was burning hot for her. Although his passion for women was never dull, he had never reacted to any woman as he reacted to her.
Forget Me Not, My Scottish Love (Heart of a Highlander Collection Book 3) Page 8