“I’m so sorry, Abby,” Amy said, crying along with her. Although it did not sit well with Amy, she agreed to keep it a secret.
Should would’ve promised Abby anything to get the angel to stop crying.
Abby was no better two weeks later. Much to everyone’s unease, Abby had grown thin, distrustful, and frightened. She was unpredictable.
“Abby, darling, ye must eat more,” Alice said gently, worried about her.
“I doona have an appetite, Alice,” Abby snapped.
Everyone looked around at each other. Abby’s new mood was not an easy adjustment.
Abby looked towards her left and saw something or someone move down the hall towards the kitchen. She jumped up and inched back. Cameron stood up.
“What’s the matter?” he asked her. Her face had gone paler.
“N-nothing,” she said frightened, and sat by the fire to knit.
“What is the matter with her? She’s not been acting like herself now, for nearly weeks!” Alice said, bewildered.
Cameron sat back down slowly and took a deep breath. “She’s been seeing the abnormalities again. She doesna sleep. She doesna want to eat. We barely speak.”
“It’s her. It’s that wench,” Alice said, scathingly. “Toss her out!”
“Mother, Abby acted much the same before Gillyanne returned,” Cameron said, in a low voice that echoed his sadness.
“Ye think her mind is breaking again, doona ye,” Amy said, her mouth agape.
Cameron sighed. He looked over to Abby, sadness in his eyes.
“I doona know. She’s my wife, damn it, and I love her, but she’s been separating herself from me and from everyone. She’s aloof and frightened,” he said, grief on his face. “She’s reed thin.”
He got up and walked over to her. “Abby, would ye like some fruit,” he asked, squatting down in front of her.
She looked up at him, confused. “What did you say?” she asked in a weak voice.
“Would ye like some fruit,” he asked, looking into her bleak green eyes. She wasn’t even returning his gaze. She was starring passed him.
“Nay,” she said and continued talking to Gillyanne while knitting.
Cameron sighed and returned to the table.
“I need air and a good fight,” he said and left the great room. Aidan and Keith followed him.
Keith and Aidan saw Cameron wielding his sword. Some of the warriors came over to him, anxious to spar with their laird. The first came up to Cameron and was easily defeated. A second one challenged Cameron, but gave Cameron another easy win.
A third stepped up. Cameron’s head was not in the sparring, though. Images of Abby growing weak and thin flashed before him. He remembered her cries when she was asleep. She said she saw things move. She cried about the marriage and the threat of annulment. She mentioned a bairn, which confused him. What broke him was his inability to protect her from her mental torment.
His fear that he was losing her.
His fear that she was losing her mind.
His mind reeled.
Cameron’s muscled chest glistened with sweat. He gritted his teeth and grunted loudly, pushing himself to extraordinary limits.
The warrior was on the floor, Cameron’s sword at the warrior’s neck.
“Cameron! That’s enough!” Keith yelled in his face.
Cameron shook his head in an effort to clear it. He saw the warrior on the floor, whose eyes were wide. Cameron withdrew his sword, helped the warrior up, and strode to the castle.
Later that evening, when everyone had gone to sleep, he sat down before the hearth and drank. He enjoyed the solitude.
“Here, let me pour ye some more,” Gillyanne said, pouring the strong ale into his cup.
Cameron looked up and saw Gillyanne smiling. He took a long swallow again. She filled it up again and took a seat. She took out her needlework.
“Abby taught me how to knit. Such a domestic activity,” she said laughing. “Never thought I’d be doing this, did ye?” she asked, and looked up at him from her needlework. She laughed again. “Yes, I didna think I’d be doing this, either.”
He kept drinking and stared at her.
“Where’s my wife?” he asked brusquely, not caring for small talk.
“Alice and Amy took her to the kitchens. They thought mayhap Bess could help her keep something down in her stomach,” she said, continuing to knit.
“I canna come to terms with this change in ye, Gillyanne. ‘Tis almost too much to believe,” he said sarcastically, leering at her. He took another long swallow. She quickly got up and poured him some more. “Do ye like serving me, Gillyanne?”
She smiled as she sat back down.
“Ye know I did once,” she said, stealing a sly glance upwards at him. “I know ye’re worried about Abby- so am I. Most of the time she mumbles about odd things. Then she complains about seeing things that are’na there,” Gillyanne said. She moved to the edge of her seat and laid her needlework on the chest. She rested her elbows on her knees. Sincerity glowed from her blue eyes.
“She worries me,” she said, looking down in consternation and looked up again. Cameron watched her carefully over the rim of his goblet. His sight grew blurry and he blinked to clear it.
“She’s been so kind to me, when all I had done was treat her badly,” she paused and took a deep breath, letting it rush out. “I know ‘tis difficult for ye and everyone else to believe that I have changed, but I have. I consider Abby my friend and I worry about her. As of late…” she said but stopped.
“As of late, what?”
His mind was spinning.
“I doona know how to say this, Cameron,” she said and sighed. Her brows furled and her forehead wrinkled as she inhaled a steadying breath. She looked at him and he thought he saw her eyes watery. He grew anxious.
“As of late, she’s been saying horrible things. She’s paranoid, Cameron,” she said and leaned back in the chair.
“Like what?” he said in a throaty voice.
“I truly believe she’s losing her reason,” she said softly. She pursed her lips together and continued. “She believes that ye doona love her and that ye want the marriage annulled. She has even said that ye are working with her father against her,” she said, shaking her head and biting her lip.
“Why would she say that?” He watched her closely. “Ye wouldna be telling her lies, would ye?”
She scoffed. Cameron blinked seeing two of her. He let out a long breath and drank the remaining ale. She slowly got up and refilled it.
“I doona want anymore,” he snapped.
“Nay, Cameron, ye’ll need more, for I’ve not finished telling ye all.” Slowly she sat down again.
His eyes grew more unfocused, so he shook his head.
“Is something the matter, Cameron?” she asked, concerned. “Are ye feeling all right?”
“This is strong ale, ‘tis all,” he said, taking another drink.
Gillyanne nodded and continued.
“She not only talks about those matters, but about something darker. I doona want to hurt ye, Cameron, but she speaks about taking her life,” she said and looked up, tears in her eyes.
He took a long swig, looking at her hard.
“How long has she been speaking like this?”
“For nearly a fortnight. Doona ye recall when she began her hysterics, crying for no apparent reason?”
“Why has it taken ye so long to tell me?” he said in a hard voice.
“I’m the only one she trusts, Cameron!” she said in a pleading voice. “Despite what ye and yer family may think about me, I want to help her. I care for her! How can I so casually push aside the trust that she only gives to me? She sleeps in the adjoining chamber, Cameron. She willna even get into bed with ye!” Gillyanne said in a rush. “I was scared, so I kept the secret, but I can no longer. I am unable to convince her now, not to take her own life. She means to do it, Cameron, and soon,” she said, tears spilling down her cheek.
“She has told me none of this,” Cameron said, drinking more.
“Of course she wouldna. She distrusts all of ye. I canna explain why but I can only accept it and help her. I’m afraid that my influence on her is fading,” Gillyanne said in a bare whisper. He saw the tears falling down her cheeks. His vision grew dim.
“Cameron, are ye all right? Do ye want me to get ye some bread to lessen the effect of the ale?” she asked.
He nodded, not able to speak. Gillyanne rose and left the room.
His Abby was thinking about taking her life? She trusted no one save for Gillyanne?
That scared him.
He heard a noise and looked up. There were three people there. No, wait, one? Cameron closed his eyes and opened them again. He saw Abby’s silhouette. Two of them. He couldn’t quite see her features.
“Abby?” he asked hoarsely.
She nodded, looking downcast.
“Come here, my love. Sit with me,” he said, his vision blurred. He tried to focus on her face, her beautiful face, but it was difficult. His eyes could not focus on anything and were sensitive to the roaring fire.
She sat on his lap and he inhaled deeply. She smelled good to him but something in her scent was off. Breathing deeply again, her sweet fragrance floated to his nose and his body recognized it.
“I’m scared, Cameron,” she said, lowly.
“Shh, my love, I’ll take care of ye,” he said, running his hand on her head. He tried to focus on her lips. “I love ye.”
Despite the fear and tense situation, he grew hard. He hadn’t made love to his wife in over a month.
“I love ye, Cameron.”
Her words were garbled, as if they came from a distance underwater, but he understood them nonetheless.
Abby kissed him and it was Heaven. He returned her kiss with all the built-up passion from a month without her. She turned so that her legs were wrapped around his hips, straddling Cameron.
“Make love to me, Cameron. I’m desperate for yer touch!” she said, pleading and bounced on him. Cameron threw his head back and moved his plaid up. Abby hiked her skirt up. She was poised above him, and ready to guide him in.
“Cameron?”
They froze.
Cameron tried to focus but he couldn’t. Every time he chased a thought, it ran faster. Abby raised her arms, although it looked more like she had eight arms, and hid her face with her hair. Even though his head was swimming and his eyes were blurry, he knew the voice didn’t come from the woman on his lap. Puzzled, he looked at the stairs.
An angel stood there.
“Cameron?” she asked again.
“Abby?” He looked at the woman on his lap again.
Cameron was confused. He couldn’t see clearly and couldn’t focus. He looked again at the stairs to where the angel stood.
“Cameron, how could you!” the angel said and he saw her run from the room.
“I doona…under…shtand…”
Cameron laid his head back and passed out.
Gillyanne rose from him, smoothed her skirts, and smiled. Hurriedly, she ran for the back staircase and went to her room to await Abby, who would yet again, tell her another woeful story.
Several moments later, Keith walked by.
“Cameron?”
Cameron woke up slowly.
“Cameron, ye drank too much. Ye’re asleep in the chair.”
“What?” Cameron asked, his voice thick and slurred. He could barely open his eyes. “Why are ye yellin’?”
“Come on, man, I’ll help ye upstairs,” Keith said and placed Cameron’s arm around his shoulders. Cameron walked unsteadily.
“Easy.”
Keith helped Cameron into bed and stared down at his brother. If things didn’t improve between him and Abby, his brother would continue on a downward road.
“Can you believe that, Gillyanne? He was about to make love to another!” Abby wailed.
“Did ye see who?” Gillyanne asked, smoothing back her friend’s hair.
“No! She smartly kept her face averted. Does it matter who it was? I told you he’s been adulterous! This is another woman, in the line of many, I’m sure,” she said weeping.
“It’ll be all right, Abby,” Gillyanne said comfortingly.
“I cannot trust anyone.”
“Ye can trust me, Abby.”
Abby nodded her head. “You’re the only one. Everyone has deceived me! They’re working with Cameron against me. With my father, I just know it. Why, Gillyanne, why?”
“I doona know, sweeting.”
“You’re right, you know. I cannot return to my father, and they all want me to,” Abby said in an anguished whisper.
“I’ll help ye anyway I can.”
“I don’t know! I feel so alone and fraught.”
Amy was walking passed, and stopped to listen as the door was ajar. Why was Abby fraught?
“Ye have to trust more people, Abby. They’re not out to harm ye. They love ye,” Gillyanne said.
“Nay! They do not. They aim to take me back to my abusive father!”
“All will be well, Abby. But I know that the MacPhersons doona mean to hurt ye nor to see ye leave here.”
“Stop!” Abby said, covering her ears. “Gillyanne, don’t you turn traitor against me, too!” Tears fell from her eyes.
“Shh… all right. We willna talk about that. Here, drink this to calm down,” Gillyanne said, handing a cup of tea to Abby.
“You’re the only one I can trust. I have nothing left.” Abby sipped the tea.
Amy had heard enough and left. Maybe Gillyanne was not deceiving them. Amy slowly made her way down the hall.
Once Gillyanne saw Amy leave, she spoke again.
“Ye have me, and I’m here for ye. I understand why ye doona trust them, and ye shouldna. Drink all of that, yes? Warm tea always helps me sleep and these days ye ar’na eating anything.”
“I’m scared. What if my mind is not well?”
“Shh…I’ll stay here a little longer,” Gillyanne said gently.
Smiling.
Chapter Nineteen
The next morning, Abby was nowhere to be found.
“Where is she?” Cameron brought two fingers to his temple and massaged.
“I doona know. I havena seen her all day today,” Amy said.
“Gillyanne, where is she?” Cameron asked, as Gillyanne walked into the great hall.
“She feels verra weak, Cameron. She says she wants to remain in bed. I offered to help her down or to call ye to carry her down here, but she refused. She was upset and I feared for her wellbeing, so I let her have her way,” Gillyanne said, the concern on face was evident.
Cameron studied her a little too long, but nodded and strode away to train with his men. He needed hard physical labor. He knew that if he went to see her, she would become upset, and so he didn’t attempt it.
Cameron was losing her.
He felt it and the pain knifed through him. He was growing desperate with concern. He wanted his wife back. He needed her.
Later that afternoon, the family sat at the table.
“She refuses to eat!” Alice complained from table. “She doesna even want to see me!”
They heard noise from the staircase and saw Gillyanne helping Abby down. Gillyanne smiled at the group gathered at the table and winked at them.
“Come on now, Abby. Slowly. At least drink some broth,” Gillyanne said.
“Only because I want you to stop nagging me,” Abby said sourly.
She sat Abby by the fire. Abby cast doubtful stares at the family.
“I’ll get ye the broth, sound good?”
“Yes, yes,” Abby said, focusing on her knitting.
The family watched Abby with mixed emotions. She looked sickly. Her face was white, and the soft skin beneath her eyes was dark. Then they looked at Cameron, who looked longingly at his wife. He rose and approached her.
“What do you want?” she asked bitterly.
> “Abigail, what is that matter with ye?” he asked gently, crouching beside her.
“How dare ye ask me that question? Traitor! I saw you attempting to rut with another!”
Cameron grabbed her hands. “Nay, I-”
She struggled, trying to take her hands away from him.
“Away! Get away!” Abby yelled, her breath becoming shorter.
Gillyanne stood by and watched. A smile touched her cold features as she saw Abby behave exactly how she thought she would.
Stupid little mouse. I’ll make ye miserable.
Abby struggled for breath. She resisted Cameron, who wanted to touch her and take her hands.
“Leave her, Cameron. Can ye not see that ye’re upsetting her more?” Alice said.
Cameron stepped back, helpless. That was Gillyanne’s cue to rush in.
“Move, move. I will help her.” Her frown was perfectly sad, as it should be after feigning it in preparation of these moments. “Abby, clam down.”
Abby nodded her head.
“Breathe deeply and calm yerself. ‘Tis no good to work yerself like this.”
Slowly, Abby began to breathe better. She gave a scathing look at Cameron.
“Leave me alone!” she shouted and tried to get out of her chair. She was too weak and fell back. Tears fell down her eyes. “It hurts to cry, Gillyanne,” Abby said in a whisper, but everyone heard her.
“That’s because ye’re not eating like ye should be, Abby. Ye have no nourishment in yer body. Come, let me take ye upstairs again. Then I’ll bring ye tea and broth,” Gillyanne said soothingly.
Gillyanne helped Abby out of the chair and helped her up the steps. She looked at the family with sorrow in her eyes as she led Abby away.
“She’s disappearing before our verra eyes,” Cameron said, in a hoarse whisper filled with turmoil.
“Why would she say ye slept with another?” Amy asked.
“I’m not sure. Her mind is breaking,” Cameron sighed.
“It’s Gillyanne. She’s the problem,” Alice spat vehemently.
Cameron shook his head. “Nay, it’s not her. Gillyanne attempts to help her.”
“I agree. I overheard one of their conversations. Gillyanne was telling Abby that she should not be distrustful of Cameron nor us. She was trying to convince Abby not to behave so towards us,” Amy said sadly.
Forget Me Not, My Scottish Love (Heart of a Highlander Collection Book 3) Page 16