by R.S. Grey
"Is that your truck out front? The Toyota?" I asked, turning gently toward him so that his hand pushed up the top of my workout tank by default.
His gaze followed his hand and he narrowed his eyes before answering me. "It belongs to one of my roommates. I let him borrow my car for the day so that I could travel without people following me."
So that's why there weren't any photographers outside.
"Good thinking," I answered, letting my focus fixate on the smoothie in my hand.
"Kinsley, I know this isn't a normal thing, what we're trying to get away with. I know I'm putting you in a terrible position," he began, but I turned and cut him off.
"We're both in terrible positions."
He nodded, but his brooding expression didn't change.
That was the moment where I either had to say “I want this, but we shouldn’t” or “I want you, despite the consequences.”
I chose to ignore both decisions. I set my smoothie back down and pushed his chair away from the desk. Time to try a different approach.
"How about you put me in a better position?" I asked, placing myself between his chair and the desk. The wood hit the back of my thighs an inch below my thin running shorts. He followed a path up my body before our eyes met. He uncurled a wicked grin and then stood up. The wheels on his chair screeched against the linoleum floor, giving a sound effect to the shifting positions of power. He stood taller than me. His body eclipsed mine as he leaned forward, pushing me back against the desk even more.
"This isn't why I asked you to come here this morning," he clarified, but he wasn't backing off.
"I didn't lock the door," I muttered as his lips found the base of my neck.
"Then I'd better be quick," he answered, trailing kisses down toward the top of my tank. Holy hell. Where had my confidence come from? I wasn’t this girl. But Liam was enough of a man to coax my boldness out of me. Sometimes it felt like he owned my body more than I did. I was nervous about what he’d do with that power, how far he'd take it, how much he expected of me.
One of his hands found the hem of my shorts while the other one cupped the back of my neck. He pressed my head back so that when he bent down, his mouth found mine at the perfect angle. Our lips pressed together and I knew he could feel the desire emanating from me in the same way I could feel it from him. It was apparent in the way he pressed himself toward me like he wanted to seal our bodies and inhabit the same airspace. In the way his tongue delved into my mouth, tasting me and demanding more.
His hand never left my neck as his other one drifted down the waistband of my shorts, beneath my underwear. The second his fingers trailed into new territory, I opened my mouth to him even more. I was completely at his mercy. He couldn't stop. I needed him to keep kissing me, to keep drifting his hand farther down.
I whimpered as his hand found my wetness. I couldn't believe this was happening. We were being so careless, but I was too helpless to stop him then. When he whispered my name against my ear and his finger sank into me, I collapsed back against the desk and let him work my body up into a tight ball of desire.
It didn't even take long. His fingers touching me were too much for my psyche to try to control, and soon I was coming. Hard. I was smart enough to stay quiet, but still a small whisper escaped my lips. He captured it with his mouth, sucking my bottom lip until I finally found the ground again.
He pushed off of me and I knew he was instantly regretting our carelessness, but I wasn't going to let him off yet. He'd taken care of me and I was sure as hell not leaving that room until I took care of him as well. I needed it as much as he did. So I pushed off the desk before he could get the chance to protest. I sank down to my knees and he inhaled a sharp breath.
"Kinsley, no."
I glanced up at him with a wicked gleam. "Yes."
His eyes flashed toward the door and I knew I was flinging myself into danger, but I couldn't stop. My desire didn't belong to me anymore. It belonged to him. It had belonged to him for longer than I cared to admit.
I pulled the hem of his workout shorts down, taking his briefs with them. I couldn't believe what I was about to do, in his office, but I wanted to. I wanted him to lose his mind. My fingers wrapped around the length of him, appreciating his size. I knew I’d enjoy it when we finally had sex.
"Kinsley, no," he was still trying to protest, but he was rock hard in my hands and I knew he wouldn't be able to find any more words when my mouth finally touched him.
I stroked up and down and glanced up, meeting his eyes just as I started to take him in my mouth. His eyes rolled back and he gripped the edge of the desk behind me.
"Fuck," he groaned, spurring me on so that I knew I had him. I kept running my hand up and down his smooth length in rhythm with my mouth. He was moments away from coming and I had to know what it looked like, what it felt like, to make Liam Wilder lose his mind.
I begged him to come with my mouth and hands, and then he was, so fast and so hard that I lost myself in the moment. Watching him come was the single hottest moment of my life and I wanted more. It was addicting, and if we didn't have practice soon, I knew we wouldn't have left his office all day.
He reached down and grabbed the back of my arms, lifting me to a standing position. Then he reached down to pull up his briefs and shorts.
"Kinsley, fuck Kinsley, that was the sexiest thing I've ever experienced, but you are in so much trouble. Do you realize what time it is?" I glanced at the clock behind him. It was 5:50 A.M., which meant Coach Davis and some of the girls were definitely in the field house.
I tried to look guilty or remorseful, but I wasn't. What was wrong with me? Did I need to get caught before I realized how serious this entire situation was?
Liam reached around me and grabbed a protein bar and my smoothie. "Here, you need to eat before practice." I wasn't hungry, but I took the items anyway.
Once his hands were empty, he tugged them through his hair and headed toward the door. He pressed his ear to it for a moment and then pulled it open.
I'd expected to see a group of people waiting for us with accusations in their eyes, but the hallway was empty.
He motioned for me to hurry, so I grabbed my cleats and water in my hands and was about to walk past him and out into the hallway when he grabbed my arm and pulled me back.
"I'm not playing around with you, Kinsley. I want to be with you," he whispered in my ear before releasing my arm. I stumbled into the hallway, trying to gather my wits.
What was I supposed to do now? Go wash my mouth out and get ready for practice? I could still feel him sliding his hand over my skin. I needed a nap and a cigarette. Too bad I didn't smoke.
Becca was the first person to see me standing there motionless in the hallway. Her eyes went wide. She grabbed my arm and pulled me into the locker room. I didn't say a word to her, but she knew what happened. She knew I'd tell her about it later.
She unwrapped the protein bar and untied my cleats like I was her little kid.
"Thanks, mom," I joked as I bent down to lace them up.
"Dude, I cannot wait to hear about your morning," she whispered before pushing up off the ground and moving to finish getting ready herself.
That’s when reality first sank in. What the fuck was I doing? We couldn’t be so stupid as to think we could meet up in the field house again. I’d wanted to see him so badly— to prove there was something real between us— that I hadn’t stopped to consider what would have happened if Coach Davis had walked into that office while I was on my knees.
I’d be cleaning out my locker right now and kissing my future goodbye.
Practice passed surprisingly quickly. We didn't split up into our positions, but Liam still stuck close to me. I'd get a drink of water and find him watching me, finish a drill and look up to see a heart stopping smile aimed right for me. That smile was quite a good motivator, but I couldn’t push past the fear sinking into the back of my mind.
Just before he had to leave to he
ad to the LA Stars' practice, he came to stand by me on the sidelines while I rested.
"Any regrets, Bryant?" he asked, crossing his arms and looking out onto the field.
"About this morning?" I asked, keeping my eyes on the field.
“About us," he clarified.
I laughed nervously under my breath and shook my head. "Ask me that again in a few weeks," I said before jogging back into practice.
…
"You gave him a blow job!? When I was like two feet away in the locker room?! EW!" Becca exclaimed when we were in my room later. Emily was downstairs eating dinner so she wasn’t able to hear Becca squeal.
"Oh my god, keep your voice down," I warned, pointing to the door.
"Sorry, sorry. But seriously, was it hot? I've never given one, and I can't even imagine doing it to Liam Wilder. You should get access to an exclusive club or something."
I groaned. "Can we not highlight the fact that I'm now part of a very large group of women that have gone down on Liam Wilder?"
"Oh, crap. Yeah, I'm sure it was special to him though.” She tried to recover from her slip up.
"Yeah, right.” I rolled my eyes, recalling his words as I’d slipped past him into the hallway. “He said he wanted to be with me though, and he sounded really serious. I'm not sure what that means, but it felt good to hear after everything we'd just done." Even if he didn't mean it.
I really wanted him to mean it.
Becca nodded. "You should give him the benefit of the doubt. The media has painted this playboy image of him, but so far he seems like a surprisingly grounded guy."
"Wow, Becca. That was wise."
"Thanks, I feel smarter than usual today. Now can you tell me all of it again?"
She was referring to the events from that morning in Liam's office.
"No perv, go get your own secret affair."
She scrunched her nose. "Ugh! I haven't heard anything from Penn since Saturday. Not a peep!"
"Well does he have your number?"
"No..."
"Give it time. He's probably just as busy as Liam."
"So he's probably also getting blow jobs before practice?"
I gave her a pointed stare. "You know what I mean."
She laughed and then rolled off the bed. "I'm going to order pizza. Do you want some?"
"Yes please, you know how I like it," I answered, reaching for my laptop.
"With a side of Liam's coc—"
I cut her off. "Becca! That's just crude!"
She laughed the whole way out of the room.
Chapter Fourteen
As the rest of the week passed, I realized just how complicated our situation was. Liam couldn't come to my house and I couldn't go to his unless there was a party or something. We couldn't chance fooling around in his office again; we’d barely gotten away with that the first time. We couldn't go out to eat or really go anywhere in public because of the paparazzi.
As the rest of the week passed, I waited for the inevitable, "this isn't worth it" speech. He would have worded it perfectly, explaining that it wasn't me, it was the situation, but the idea still wore me down. I'd lay in bed at night, exhausted from practice, but I still couldn't fall asleep. I'd wonder what he was thinking, if he was moments away from sending the text that would break my heart.
I was getting ready for bed Friday night when he called.
"Come outside," he said as soon as I picked up.
I peered through my window but didn't see his car.
"I'm around the block so your teammates won't see me," he answered as if clarifying my train of thought.
"Okay, hold on, I'm in my pajamas," I explained, unable to wipe the giant smile off my face.
"You can stay in your pajamas..." he suggested, and I felt a shiver run down my spine.
"Pfft. Yeah, right. I'll be down in a second." I hung up and threw my phone on my bed.
"Becca!" I shouted, knowing she was down the hall watching an episode of Parks and Recreation. She had a love for Amy Poehler that was deeper than most normal human relationships.
A second later, she was standing outside my door. "What is it? Amy and I were bonding."
I gave her a pointed stare. "First. You are not on first name basis with Amy Poehler. She actually doesn't know you exist. Second, help me get ready." I paused and whispered the next part. "Liam is downstairs waiting for me."
"God, that's romantic," she mumbled, stepping into my room with her standard onesie on. This one had penguins and a hood with a penguin beak.
"Have I told you yet how awesome you are today?" I asked, stepping over toward my closet.
"Yeah, whatever. This penguin onesie is going to waste since Penn hasn't bothered to contact me."
"Want me to ask Liam about it?" I offered, throwing my pajamas off and grabbing a purple t-shirt dress that was soft from too many washes. I threw on some brown sandals and pulled a jacket out just in case it got cold in his car.
"Only if you can do it without him thinking I'm desperate. Just a casual mention, okay?" she asked, grabbing my bracelets off my night stand and bringing them to me.
"All right, I promise I'll make it seem casual."
She smiled. "You look like a bazillion dollars, but you didn't even need my help."
"You helped. I feel less nervous now," I promised.
"Don't let him keep you out too late. I want to go to the beach in the morning."
"Deal!" I shouted as I ran down the stairs. "Don't wait up for me though!"
Emily and a few of the sophomore girls were sitting in the living room watching a movie. They paused it as they saw me running down.
"Where are you going?" Emily asked just as five pairs of eyes swooped toward me and waited for an answer. I didn't want to lie to Emily, but I couldn't tell all of them the truth.
"Out with some high school friends that are in town. I'll be back in a bit," I answered without meeting Emily's eye.
The night air was cool, and I reveled in the crisp wind blowing strands of my long hair. It felt intoxicating, like even the weather knew how hard my heart was beating at the knowledge that I was about to be alone with Liam for the first time in five days. I spun around once to ensure that none of the girls were watching me from the windows. When I didn’t see anyone, I picked up the pace and flew down the street before turning the corner.
Liam’s black SUV came into sharp focus beneath a street lamp. His dark silhouette was barely visible inside.
In that moment, I felt truly criminal. I’d just lied to my friend, and now I was sneaking out late at night and checking behind me for witnesses.
I inhaled a shallow breath, pulled the door open, and hopped in quickly.
"This feels wrong. Should it feel wrong?" I asked, tossing my jacket onto the ground and peering over at him.
"No, it's not wrong," he clarified simply in his controlled tone, but he could tell I wanted more. "It only feels wrong because we're having to sneak around. We aren't breaking any laws and it's not like we have spouses that we're lying to."
"I'm lying to my friends, to my teammates," I brought up, wanting to push the subject. It felt good to have it out in the open. I wanted to know how he felt.
"I know. I am, too." Then he hesitated. "But to be honest, I'm not lying to everyone. Penn knows the truth. I mean it was pretty obvious when he saw you leaving my room at the party."
I’d already assumed Penn knew about us. He and Liam were close.
"Becca knows too obviously, but she can be trusted. She's my best friend on the team."
"What about Emily?" he asked.
I couldn't meet his eye. That was the one person I felt shitty about lying to. "No."
He reached over to clasp my hand. "We can end this. If this is too much, we can end it."
There it was. The sentence I'd feared the entire week.
"Do you want to end it? I mean, it's not like there's even anything to end."
"No," he answered quickly. “I want to keep seeing you. I
have to keep seeing you, but I don’t want you to feel like you don’t get a choice in all of this.”
I took a deep breath, inhaling his words and letting them wash out the last few days of doubt.
"You just like pretending to be a spy. You like sneaking around and waiting on dark streets for me." I turned toward him and gave him a playful wink.
"I'm not after you because it's a challenge, but I'd be lying if I said the sneaking around wasn't a little fun. That morning in my office will be burned in my memory as one of the hottest moments of my life."
I wanted to squeal at his confession, but instead I bit my lip and nodded to keep my excitement from brimming over.
“What do you want, Kinsley? Do you want to end this?” he asked.
What did I want?
“I want to have it all,” I answered vaguely, staring out through his passenger side window for a moment.
I broke up the silence that followed by changing the support to something lighter. "Hey, I'm supposed to casually and not desperately bring up the Penn and Becca issue. Is he a player? Because seriously, there's no one cooler than Becca. She's funny and smart. And she's been a really good friend since I started the team."
Liam chuckled, "You have nothing to worry about. Penn's interested, but he's a reserved guy. He just got out of a serious relationship and I don't think he was expecting to meet someone like Becca so soon."
Ah, that explained a few things.
"Well, tell him to hurry up because Becca won't wait forever."
He smirked and leaned closer. "Are those her words or yours?"
"Mine. She'd kill me if she knew I was telling you all of this. I was supposed to be really subtle about it."
Liam reached over and ran his hand behind the back of my neck. "I'll mention it to Penn and see what he thinks."
I nodded as his fingers started to dip beneath the hem of my dress and drag along the top of my spine.