Asylum

by Kristen Selleck

  “Very funny!” Sam snapped. “How was your vacay? Find anything new?”

  “No, I went home with Seth,” Chloe mumbled into her book.

  Sam rolled over and propped her chin up with her hands.

  “And?” she asked.

  “And they’re all very nice,” Chloe said as she skimmed through a chapter on electrons.

  “So did you guys…?” Sam trailed off.

  “NO!” Chloe said, slamming her book closed again, “no, we did not. So get your mind out of the gutter.”

  “It lives there,” Sam excused herself.

  “So he invited you to-”

  “No, he pretty much just told me he was taking me home for Christmas,” Chloe said. “He didn’t really give me much of a choice.”

  “Uh-huh,” Sam said in a tone that clearly expressed that she had more to say if asked. Chloe took the bait.

  “What do you mean ‘uh-huh’?” she asked suspiciously.

  “Oh nothing,” Sam feigned innocence, twirling a lock of hair between two fingers.

  “Go ahead Sam, say what you want to say,” Chloe sighed.

  “So when you got there, what did you guys talk about?” Sam asked, examining the hair between her fingers for split ends.

  “Stuff…I dunno,” Chloe shrugged.

  “Has he ever said that he doesn’t like me?” Sam asked, sitting up and fixing Chloe with a sharp look.

  “No! No, he likes you fine. Why would you ask that?”

  “I don’t think he does,” Sam said watching Chloe carefully.

  “Well…he…I think sometimes…he thinks that I kind of act like I’m closer to you than to him, and I think that it kind of annoys him, but no, that doesn’t mean he actually dislikes you or anything,” Chloe fumbled.

  “Yeah, that’s kind of what I thought. It’s like he’s jealous of me or something,” Sam nodded her head.

  “No, not at all, that’s not it he just-”

  “Do you ever wonder why he’s so into you?” Sam cut her off, changing tactics.

  “All the time, but he’s just-”

  “Well think about it like this…he complains that you don’t open up enough with him, right? That you don’t tell him enough. And really, you don’t. I mean, look how long it took for you to even tell him about George,” Sam was back to playing with her hair.

  “Okay,” Chloe agreed.

  “So he isn’t getting any emotional intimacy from you. And we all know he isn’t getting any ummm…physical intimacy,” Sam giggled.

  Chloe frowned and shrugged.

  “What’s your point?” she mumbled.

  “What is he getting out of this relationship?” Sam spread her hands, suggesting that she didn’t know.

  Chloe recoiled, exactly as if she had been slapped. What was he getting out of it? He never did say why he was with her. Why exactly was he sticking around?

  “I don’t know,” she admitted.

  “Control,” Sam said, nodding her head wisely.

  “No,” Chloe said.

  “Yes,” Sam argued. “Take a step back and look at the facts. You didn’t want to go to his house for vacation. If he’d asked, you would have said no. Somehow he set it up so that he wasn’t really giving you a choice, and you went. He’s always demanding that you tell him things, and he doesn’t like me because he thinks we’re too close or something. Remember when you didn’t go with him out to the rocks, and he didn’t call you for two days? How about in the car on the way to Traverse City when he basically said he didn’t believe you about the ghost? Or how about when we went in the woods looking for Will, and he didn’t want you to? He didn’t say more than three words the whole trip back. He was pissed.”

  “He was tired,” Chloe suggested more than insisted.

  “He checks in on you almost every night at the same time,” Sam added.

  “Because he knows that we’re both kind of freaked out in here-”

  “Or he’s checking to make sure you’re safely in bed and not out partying or hanging out with people, or guys he doesn’t know,” Sam smirked.

  “I don’t think that’s-”

  “It’s just a thought I had,” Sam cut her off, and rolled over onto her back, crossing her arms behind her head and gazing up at the ceiling. “I’d watch it though if I were you. Don’t drink any kool aide he gives you.”

  “Whatever,” Chloe shrugged.

  She yanked her textbook back open and feigned studying. Still laying on her back, Sam pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket, crumpled it into a ball, and began absent-mindedly tossing and catching it. Every time the paper ball hit her hand it made a hollow, rustling noise. To Chloe it seemed to grow louder and louder until, following the path of the ball up and down with her eyes, she would wince every time Sam caught it.

  “Stop!” Chloe snapped.

  Sam tossed and caught the ball once more, and then shot it at the garbage can.

  Her aim was wide.

  “I’m bored,” Sam complained. “Let’s go somewhere, let’s do something! I could go for a gin and tonic, or maybe just a beer.”

  The phone rang. Chloe leapt off the bed and ripped the receiver off it’s cradle before Sam could sit up. She kept the conversation short, fully aware of Sam lying there, listening.

  “Who was it?” Sam asked, rolling onto her side.

  “Seth.”

  “And…?”

  “And nothing. He just wants me to stop over for a minute,” Chloe narrowed her eyes, daring Sam to say anything.

  “Well run then Chloe, go on,” Sam smirked and cracked an imaginary whip at her.

  “Bite me!” Chloe said. On her way out, she made sure to slam the door.

  Seth was leaning forward in his recliner, gripping his Wii controller with one hand, playing a game with absolute concentration.

  “What’s up?” Chloe asked.

  “My mom just dropped by. You forgot a shirt yesterday, Rachel found it under her bed. She set it on…” Seth twisted the arm holding the game controller sharply and then swore. “On the desk,” he continued, completely absorbed.

  “You should have let me know, I would have come and said hi,” Chloe chided him.

  “I thought you were studying, getting ready for classes or something, didn’t want to bug you,” he frowned at the screen.

  Chloe shuffled over to his desk and picked up the neatly folded Maird Pastie Shoppe t-shirt. Underneath it was a green pamphlet with the MSU logo across the top. Chloe took a quick glance at Seth, confirmed he was still devoted to fighting monsters or whatever, and leaned in for a closer look.

  Study Abroad: Costa Rica, Environmental Studies, Summer Semester, she read. Glancing over her shoulder at Seth once more, she opened the pamphlet and read about the course. Rain forest walks, hands-on work with preservationists, blah, blah, blah. The pictures showed a college age girl face-to-face with a bright red parrot, a group of students smiling and laughing in front of a tropical waterfall, and another of a male student conversing seriously with a native in front of a thatch-roofed mud house.

  Chloe took a step back and made her face a blank wall.

  “Hey, what’s this?” she asked, pretending to discover the pamphlet.

  “What’s what?” Seth asked without looking.

  “MSU Study Abroad,” Chloe read, “are you thinking of transferring to MSU or something?”

  “Nope,” Seth said, “Just going to do a summer study course through them. BHC doesn’t have any study abroad programs, and I thought it would look good, you know, for grad school.”

  “So you’re spending the summer in Costa Rica,” Chloe deduced.

  “If they accept me. I don’t know how many spots they have for students outside the university, or how competitive it is, but yes I did apply recently,” he said, hitting the pause button and turning in his seat to face her. “What were you planning on doing this summer, Clo? I guess I assumed you’d be sticking around here. You’re not going home are you?”

  �
�Yeah, for a little while at least,” she shrugged.

  “Do you not want me to go?” he asked.

  “No, that’s fine, I don’t care,” she shrugged again.

  “We get a week off in the middle of the semester. It’d be great if you came down that week. If I even get accepted to it, that is,” he said.

  “I don’t know,” Chloe said, pretending to study a framed hockey team photo on the wall over his desk.

  “If it’s a money thing, I can help with it and-”

  “No, it’s fine. I’m just not sure what I’m going to be doing yet so…I really don’t know. How about ‘maybe’ is that better?” she asked.

  “I’d prefer a ‘yes’” he smiled.

  Chloe could practically hear Sam’s voice in her ear. And you’re already trying to figure out how to do it too, because when he says JUMP…

  “You look tired,” she said, changing the subject.

  “I’m beat. There was practice last night, and then Mike and I were over at Lane’s until two this morning, and I had that meeting with my advisor about choosing my internship, so I had to get up early this morning. I was just thinking about taking a nap when Mom stopped by,” he admitted.

  “Why do you like me?” she demanded.

  Seth looked floored.

  “Uhhh…” he answered.

  “It’s just…I’ve asked you that before, and you never answer me, and I’m kind of wondering if maybe…” she trailed off.

  “If maybe what, Clo? If maybe I’ve got some kind of hidden agenda or something?” he rolled his eyes.

  “No…just forget it,” she took a step backwards, towards the door. He shook his head.

  “No, not forget it, explain this to me, and sit down. Where is this coming from? You think I’m going to go away for the summer and forget all about you because you don’t think you’re likeable enough?” he guessed.

  “No. No, it’s not that at all,” she sat down in the desk chair and rubbed her hands together nervously. Seth watched her.

  “You’re uncomfortable and worried,” he noticed. “Your whole attitude is different. You’re not even looking at me.” His eyes widened as a thought struck him. “Did Sam get back today?”

  “Yeah, why?” Chloe said coldly.

  “Let’s do this. If you answer a question for me, honestly answer it, I’ll tell you exactly why I hang around you so much,” he challenged.

  “Okay,” she rubbed her hands together faster.

  “Why do you want to know what I see in you? Why is it coming up right now?” he asked.

  “Because I just got to thinking…I’m not really contributing all that much to the relationship…I think most guys would find that really discouraging,” Chloe said slowly, staring at the ground.

  “Yet you didn’t seem to be worried about this last night on the way home, or this morning at breakfast…before Sam came back,” he observed.

  “Sam has nothing to do with it,” Chloe said.

  “You didn’t have any kind of a conversation with her about us then?” he continued.

  “What is your problem with Sam?” Chloe snapped. “She thinks you don’t like her. Did you know that?”

  “And why did she say that she thinks that?” Seth asked calmly. He waited with a tight smile that did not seem at all happy.

  “I don’t know,” Chloe verbally back-stepped, fearing some kind of trap.

  “You can do better, Clo. Try again. Why did she say that I don’t like her?” Seth asked with the same stoic calm.

  “Because she thinks you’re jealous. She thinks you’re jealous that me and her are so close and that I tell her things,” Chloe admitted, wincing as she said it.

  “Oh. Okay. That makes sense,” he shook his head. “So basically…I don’t want you to have any friends, because I’m some kind of controlling asshole boyfriend, right?”

  Chloe froze, not sure how to answer. That was exactly what Sam had been trying to suggest.

  “And you think she might be right, because it doesn’t make sense that I’m just a normal, possibly even nice guy, that just wants to date you and cares enough about your well-being to worry about how trustworthy your best friend actually is,” Seth continued.

  “And what’s that supposed to mean?” Chloe narrowed her eyes.

  “Exactly what it sounds like it means. I just told you word-for-word, exactly why I don’t like Sam. Let me say it again. I…Don’t…Trust…Her. Did you get it this time?” he asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

  Chloe felt stung, and also somewhat sick to her stomach. Seth had never taken that tone with her before. She couldn’t decide if she was more angry or hurt.

  “Oh, it’s obvious that you don’t like Sam,” she agreed, mimicking his formerly calm demeanor. “Yet, you’re saying you don’t trust her. Maybe you could explain why? Would that be asking too much? I mean, she is my best friend and all. Anyone else, sure, I’d stop hanging out with them immediately…just because you said so, not like you’re controlling or anything, but in this case, I’d like to know why.”

  Seth flinched. Then his eyebrows drew together angrily, and he opened his mouth, Chloe steeled herself. But instead of unleashing a volley of angry words, he huffed a short frustrated sigh, and turned back around to pick up his forgotten game controller. He hit the pause button, and began playing where he had left off.

  “Okay,” Chloe said after a minute. “You don’t have any reason not to trust Sam, and you know it, so this is you dismissing me?”

  “I’m done arguing,” he said in a detached voice, “trust who you want. Awww, damnit!” On the screen, a fire-breathing monster, flung the lifeless body of his player to one side. A screen shot up to the center of the monitor, allowing the choice to continue. Chloe continued to sit and watch as he kept playing. He wasn’t going to say anything else. He was making that much clear. He wasn’t even acknowledging her. She wondered how long she could possibly sit there before he said anything at all.

  “You’re really just going to leave it like this?” Chloe asked finally. For a moment more, he didn’t answer. She watched the top of his head silhouetted by the TV screen. Without stopping his game he started to speak.

  “I guess, to be fair, I can answer your question,” he offered.

  Chloe kept quiet.

  “Four months ago, I was coming back from playing hockey with Mike and Lane. I was walking in from the parking lot, and I see this girl, just sitting in her car…dark-haired girl, real pretty…and she’s just sitting there. Her car is all full of stuff--clothes, boxes--I knew she had to be moving in. And she had this look on her face, like she was completely terrified. No parents there with her, just a beat-up old car full of stuff. I thought about going over and knocking on the window, asking her if she wanted some help, but then I thought maybe she needed that time to work herself up to come in, to get started. So I went up to the door and I waited. Hung around by the steps, talking to people because I knew she had to come in, and pass that way. And then I see her. Walking so slow, like she might turn and run at any minute, and I was rooting for her. She was all by herself, no parents, no friends, and then those damn boys in the truck. You grow up like me, in a house full of little sisters, and you can’t help but develop some kind of protective instinct, and I got worried. I went over there to save the day, I thought, but she was already walking back to the car. So I stopped her. I just wanted to help her out, make her see that it wasn‘t so scary after all, but when she turned around…I couldn’t believe my luck. I had thought from a distance that she was pretty, but when she turned around…she was the most beautiful girl I think I’ve ever seen. I don’t even…I can’t even say why. She had this way of looking at me, I felt it in my toes. And when she blushed…I didn’t realize girls still did that. Ever since…she’s been pretty much all I can think about. You asked why. I can‘t even find words to tell you. I just know that I lo- that I do”

  Chloe did blush then. She was glad he was facing the other way and couldn’t see.
On the screen, his player took shelter behind a rock and fired at an unsuspecting alien. He did like her, he had always liked her.

  But it’s just like Sam said, hissed the voice, a scared little rabbit and he lovesssss that he can build a little pen around it, doesn’t he?

  “I was really scared that day,” Chloe said, remembering. “And you were so nice, made me feel so much better. Even…even in the basement when…when I kind of freaked out. But so did Sam. Almost immediately, the way she talked to me. Told me she was happy to have a roommate, started helping me move in. Sam was nice to me, and ever since, she’s been there. She doesn’t judge me, or make me feel like I’m crazy. Actually, she always tells me I’m not. She listens, and understands, and…she’s…she’s my best friend, Seth. You’re my boyfriend, and she’s my best friend and I can’t understand why I can’t have both.”

  “I’m not making you chose, Clo,” he said tiredly. “I’m not. But if you’re going to let Sam trash our relationship and then get angry and offended if I say anything about her, you’ve got to understand that I’m going to feel slighted.”

  “Maybe if you told me, what the problem is…why you don’t trust her. Maybe we could work this out,” Chloe suggested.

  Seth hit pause again and rubbed his face in that same tired way he always did.

  “You’ve got me between a rock and a hard place there, kiddo,” he said. “On one hand, I don’t want to talk shit about your best friend, because I know how much you care about her, but on the other…I don’t want you to get hurt. I just don’t think she’s the kind of person to put your interests before her own, do you know what I mean?”

  “What specific interest are you talking about, Seth?” Chloe asked carefully.

  “Geez, Clo!” he snapped. “Alright…okay…she’s…she’s been a bit…forward, towards me. Okay?”

  “Forward?” Chloe asked.

  “Suggestive…flirty…I don’t know,” he said, obviously uncomfortable.

  “You’re telling me that you think Sam has tried to come on to you?” she nodded, her voice poisonously sweet.

  “Clo, I…” he faltered.

  “And I just never noticed it? Like when did she try to come on to you?” she demanded.