I grabbed his arms. I couldn't let him leave. "Please. What do you know?"
He pulled his hands free to get into the corridor outside the room. "I must go."
Chaus and a few other squires were now in the hall. I held onto the door as I called out to Merlin. "I need to know."
His face was white. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. Then he held the side of his face as he said, "I will speak once I understand."
He turned to leave. I hugged my stomach and stared into the hallway. Chaus and the others didn't say anything.
My pulse raced. There were no more answers, but Merlin knew something about me and my parents. He knew them and their names shocked him. I had to find a way to get him to tell me. I stared at Chaus. If I could help Thor to open up to me more, then his advisors might trust me. "Is there a way Thor and I can have a private dinner in our room?"
He saluted like I gave him an order. "Yes. I will see to it at once."
Chaus marched down the hall. I closed the door and decided on a bath while I waited for Thor to finish with his men. I needed to cool down. The hot water soaked through my skin and I felt more awake and aware. As I came out of the bathroom, I stared out the window. It was night now and Thor hadn't yet come back. Being king demanded much or perhaps Merlin spoke of my parents to him first.
I rubbed the dampness out of my hair with the towel as someone knocked. At first I didn't move. Thor wouldn't knock. Chaus probably brought the food. I threw my boys' clothes on even though they smelled bad, but I had nothing else. Then I called out, "Come in."
Delott smiled at me as he leaned against the door. "So this is where the Queen sleeps?"
I shook my head at him and gripped the handle to throw him out. "You don't talk like a knight."
He took that as an invitation to enter and strolled past me. My pulse increased, but I brushed my hair behind my ear. This was inappropriate. It's not like we knew each other, and I didn't have many friends here. I stood still holding the handle.
"I can beat any of them in battle, including your boyfriend if I had too."
This man must have lost his mind. "Arrogance isn't attractive."
He was physically good looking for those into the dark and handsome types. Even I could see that, but he was nothing compared to Thor. My heart beat rose slightly. "I don't trust men who push and shove."
"I never push a woman, my beauty. A real man doesn't have to."
For a moment he said nothing. My breath hitched. Delott had muscles, like Thor, only he was slightly skinnier. His nose was pert and those dark eyes of his must have gotten him anything he wanted. I wasn't going to ever speak to him once he left the room. I crossed my arms. "Yet you used a trick against Rex to defeat him and walk into my room uninvited."
"The door was open." He bowed. "Every time I fight, I will do whatever it takes to ensure my own survival."
Someone's footsteps echoed in the hall. I needed to protect myself too, and I should not even speak to this knight. I certainly didn't trust him despite his assistance to Morgana. I pulled at his sleeve to get him to the open door. This close I smelled vanilla and roses. My nose curled. "Get out now. I'm expecting Thor."
Delott followed along though he brushed off my light tug and fixed his green tunic. "Do you want to expect Thor the rest of your life? I can't imagine it's fun or exciting to sit around and wait for him. Everyone has demands he must meet."
I shook my head though I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. Then I opened and closed my mouth without saying anything. Finally I coughed and said, "And what should I do then?"
Delott ignored the door and pressed against me. "Run away with me. I'd keep you safe and we can let the world fall to pieces."
I stepped away from the wall and him and ran my hand through my hair. He pressed too far and I might have to scream to get help. I would sound so weak then. Instead I stood tall and pointed to the door. I needed to be alone to think. "And you'd spend ten minutes with me before running after another woman. I saw how Morgana held your hand."
He shrugged. "I helped her escape a fate worse than death. She doesn’t say but she’s in love with another. Helping her was easy. I'd help you too, if you wanted it."
No. I'd not take Morgana's left over anything. I was worth more. "I don't require anyone to free me. I make my own choices."
He winked. "How can you when you're blinded to the truth?"
There was something else. Everyone knew something I didn't. I refused to move and give away one flinch. "What truth?"
The door widened and we stepped away from each other like we'd done something wrong and were about to be caught. My heart raced as goose bumps grew on my arm. Thor was here, I knew without seeing him. His nearness made me warm.
Thor slammed the door behind him as he still stood in his full metal armor. "Why is he in our room?"
I slid to stand beside Thor. The smell of metal and testosterone rushed down my nose, and I became calmer. I reached out for his hand. "I have no idea what possessed him to join me. We were just talking as I waited for you."
Thor didn't glance at me. He towered over Delott and stared at him like he was the one true king. My heart melted as he protected me. Then he handed me his gauntlets and crossed his hands. I held them to my chest as Thor said, "This is not the place for personal conversations."
"You're right. Delott was just leaving."
Delott bowed to Thor. "Your Majesty. I will help you defend your home against Rex."
He offered to free me. He offered to help Morgana. I shivered and realized I'd never let him near Thor's back. I raised my chin as Thor nodded and said, "We shall talk in the fortress. Good night."
Delott marched out and closed the door behind him. I glanced at the window and stared at the moon. The speed of the train carried us quickly from London. "Can Rex take the train and follow right behind us?"
Thor shook his head. "I ordered the tracks destroyed. I don't want an easy and fast road between us that he might use against my people."
He’d thought about everything. He always did. Another knock at the door reverberated through the air. I hugged my stomach. This was too much. "It seems we'll never be alone."
Thor flung open the door and Chaus stood there with our dinner. Thor said, "Now this is perfect. Thank you."
I cleared the small table near the window seat. Thor carried the plates and set them there.
He untied Excalibur from his belt to rest it with his armor that hung in the corner. I reached out to help him and as my hands traced his chiseled body, trembles grew within me. Thor stepped away from me. "Did anything happen?"
I rubbed my neck as my face felt hotter. "Why?"
"Your face is flushed."
He couldn't know it was because I was near him. This wasn't good. A pit grew in my stomach though I curled my lips like I might smile. I probably seemed like an idiot, but I pressed ahead. "Don't make things up in your head and don't be jealous."
Thor stood like he was a wall in the middle of the room. My entire body felt smaller. "Gwen, I don't intend to force you, but there might not be a choice with a marriage between us."
My hands flew to my sides. "There is always a choice."
Thor never moved. He straightened his spine. "Rex lived through the attack. We've had word. He intends to follow us. It's why this is a one way trip."
Morgana is not guilty of murder then and the queen of London. If I married Thor, he could not protect me from Rex. Rex wanted me dead, just like he’d killed everyone else I loved. I stepped into his space and placed my hands on Thor's arms. "Then we have to be ready."
I dragged him toward our small dinner table by the one big seat. I had set up a stool to sit across from him. He sat, as a king should, and told me, "You shouldn't have come. I have been so worried about you on this trip that I might have missed an opportunity."
Thor was twice the man with so much responsibility on his shoulders. I swallowed as I sat and stared at the food. "I'm sorry. You are right. I
slowed you down. I came to find answers and I have none. All I know is that my mother is connected to London, but at the fortress, we'll all do our duty."
Thor picked up his fork and nodded. "Including you?"
He should have known I'd help. We were close now. I picked up my fork and tried to steady my hand. "I will do what I can to help you."
His sigh took all the air out of the room. I pressed my lips together as he said, "I don't know what to say to that."
I blinked. We couldn't fight over Delott. Thor had been the only one in my life that mattered since that day in the forest. My skin grew clammy as I pictured how my father, the last man I ever had in my life, had died. I turned my gaze away so he'd not see how my eyes misted up. "I need you to believe in me."
He dropped his fork and I glanced up from the noise. Thor reached out and took my hand. "Gwen, I will try, but there can be no more men in our room."
"That is not a problem." Though my cheeks were wet, I clutched his hand too. I needed Thor. I needed him and I'd not let anyone or anything ever get between us. "I have grown to trust in you and you alone."
Chapter 18
The train had stopped. I yawned and stretched as I stared out the window as the sun began to dawn. I turned in the bed, but Thor was not there with me. I knew before I opened my eyes, but I'd hoped I was wrong. I rolled my shoulders to make myself wake.
The bathroom door was open and the place was so still. He wasn't here. I jumped out of bed, readied myself and dressed in the boy's clothes.
The unnatural silence made my skin itch. Outside the doors, I should have heard activity, but the train was so silent. I braided my hair and then I stuck my head outside the door. Empty.
Thor had to be commanding his troops somewhere. I tied my braid at the bottom and walked through the corridors.
Near the door, a few boys lugged supplies off the train. I didn't see the priest with them. No one said anything to me.
As I stepped off the train, dust flew into my eyes. I covered my face, but tried to squint. Thor had to be somewhere close. He wouldn't have left me.
Delott brushed his hand against my back. I winced and jumped back. "Good morning, my lady."
I rubbed the middle of my forehead and refused to look at him. "You have a knack for finding me."
He walked beside me. "I'd never leave you alone if you wanted me."
He must think I was an idiot. I rubbed my hand against the front of my shirt near my heart. "I'm looking for Thor."
He pointed toward the end of the platform. "He's near the horses."
At least the sun was shining. Everyone had to get to Avalon as fast as possible. The knights would ride from here. My toes and feet throbbed as I remembered the long walk. I swayed on my feet, but Delott came closer like I might faint. I squared my shoulders and jerked away from him. "Thank you."
He stayed at my side with his arms behind his back. "I will bring you to him."
The last time Thor saw me with Delott was in our bedroom. This wasn't a good way to start the day. My face heated. "That's not necessary."
"Your safety is important."
I smoothed out my tunic to seem busy. How to get rid of him? He'd invaded my personal space the moment we stepped off the platform. I scooted away and then pointed between us. "You don't have to be this close. This distance is acceptable."
He stared down his nose at me. "Am I bothering you, Your Majesty?"
I held my head up further and pressed my lips together. "Yes."
I heard the sound of horses neighing. Thor had to be close.
Delott whispered in my ear. "I hoped that your heart was free even if you are being forced to marry another."
What I'd felt about marriage in the past no longer mattered. I pushed him away and pointed to the personal distance. "You don't know anything about me to hope for that."
He smiled. My entire body was flushed. I knew my face must be very red. He simply said, "I'd like to."
No. Young men never talked to me like this, and it was too much. Thor's calmness eased me. Delott confused me. I ran my hand over my braided hair to check for flyaways and then the blond blue-eyed knight I've spent every day with since coming to Avalon appeared. His metal armor glinted in the sun. My lips parted as I stared. "There's Thor. I have to go."
Delott bowed to me, and my heart was skittish. I stared at Thor who warmed me as Delott said, "Until next time, my lady."
With no more time to waste, I ran toward Thor. As I approached, his white horse dropped its head. I petted its mane as I gazed up into the most intense blue eyes I'd ever seen in a man. "Thor."
His bright smile was all I could focus on. Everything else around us became fuzzy. "Gwen. I didn't expect you so soon. I thought you'd sleep for another hour."
For Thor, I'd give up my quest for my mother's history. I refused to make waves between him and Merlin who clearly cared for him. Thor's shoulders carried so much already. I smiled back at him. "I used to get up early to make breakfast. Besides, the train wasn't moving and we're in a hurry."
He reached down for me as if he'd lift me up to sit on his horse. "Take my hand."
My sore feet rejoiced as I clasped his hand and used his strength to climb behind him. "The trip back will be easier this way."
My arms wrapped around Thor's chest and I heard my own heartbeat. Thor smacked his lips together to tell his horse to go, and a moment later we thundered back toward Avalon. He led the small fighting force and the boys from the front. He couldn't gallop and leave the supplies behind.
I turned around and saw once again Merlin took the rear, but this time Delott joined him. My blood went cold and I faced toward the front. Thor trotted steadily, but the peaceful trip would let us talk. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested.
Soon questions surfaced in my mind. "What about the train and Rex following us?"
Thor kept up his pace, but checked to make sure their small force stayed together. "Merlin and many others are staying to ensure that the train makes one last trip."
I scooted closer to him. "What do you mean?"
"The train has to be destroyed. We cannot let Rex use any way to reach us fast."
The wind slapped my face as we turned around we galloped so fast that my hair tore free from my braid. "Are you rushing to get me to safety?"
He placed his hand on my arms wrapped around him. "I'm rushing to ensure our defenses are enough to withstand Rex."
Thor's heart made him better than me and everyone else. I had to help him win this battle. Perhaps it was time to give up my dreams of freedom. My arms tightened around him. "Will your army be back in time?"
Thor's back stiffened. My heart fell to my stomach as I realized he doubted. "Sir Wain knows to make deliberate speed back toward Avalon."
Avalon was near mountains and lakes. The shorter hills near London gave the place a different vibe, but the mountain air cleared my lungs. As we passed a rocky cliff, we proceeded slowly down as Thor ensured everyone in our group was secure.
I gazed at Joseph of Arimetha for a brief moment as he gave one of the boys water. Then Thor sped up to retake the lead in the front. He was a good leader. We reached the corner that went around the mountain and then toward the road we walked. Thor never slowed.
The afternoon sun was now shining down on us. As we turned, I saw a glimpse of the black poisoned city of Camelot in the distance. Right now even that didn't bother me. I knew what it was.
I racked my brain to remember our conversation and where it ended as I clutched Thor's waist. "And will your general come? Do you trust Sir Wain?"
"He will come but with the large force he leads, it may take him too much time."
My mind swirled. That answer was the opposite of comforting. "If he doesn't then how do we protect everyone in Avalon?"
Thor kept our pace, though I heard the hooves of his men's mounts as they caught up to us. "Our best weapons will be the hearts and minds of the people inside the walls of Avalon."
N
el, the girl who wanted to make shoes, the family with the boy on his donkey, and so many other faces flashed in my mind. I pictured Thor telling us all to fling the silverware or any rock we might find at an invading horde. I shivered at the idea. "What about the people who can't fight and can't help?"
Thor slowed down and placed his hand on mine again as he checked on our progression. I wished I could see his face for the moment, but he never turned around as he said, "That's who I'm most worried about."
I hugged him and laid my face on his back. "Thor, you are a good man."
He sped back up though I saw Merlin's dark gray suit come closer to us. I sat straighter. I thought he intended to stay behind to blow up the train. I stared at him over my shoulder as Thor asked me, "Why did you say that?"
Thor took his hand back. I swallowed and stalled till I knew what I had to say. "You spend every second of your day and night in the service of others. Most people are selfish with their time."
"You're the same."
A snort came out of me. I wished I had such faith in me. I shook my head, but then ensured his shoulder blocked the wind for me. I’d certainly never inspired anyone like he did. "I don't know about that."
As the afternoon sun waned and Camelot's shadows loomed, I knew we were close to Avalon. We were on the edge of the forest. If I escaped to the trees, no one would ever be there for me again. I craned my neck to see my new home. Thor and Avalon needed me and I could live here for now. As he turned around a bend, I saw it just as Thor told me, "Rest if you can. I'll get you to safety."
No, there was no reason to rest. I needed to ensure Nel was safe. I'd have to figure out how to help prepare for the attack. Thor would be busy with the outside defenses. Everyone in the castle could help, and I would see to it that everyone not fighting had something useful to do. We all had to remain safe and protect those who couldn't.
I stayed quiet for the rest of the short journey until Avalon's high walls were in front of us. I sat up as we neared the gate and quickly untied and finger-combed my long brown hair, wishing I could wash the dust from my face.
Whispers of a Throne Page 15