The door clicked shut quietly behind him. She flung herself down onto the bed, beating her fists against the mattress. I’ve made a real awful mess of things, haven’t I? Call was through with her issues. Father Speer was locked up. The girls were scattered around the compound - and they would know she was to blame. She’d never felt so alone - and after the apocalypse, that was really saying something.
Lia finally emerged from the apartment and into daylight the next morning. If Call was going to be away for who knew how long it was just silly to remain inside like a recluse. If this was going to be her home, she needed to get to know it. I guess I’ll have to talk to someone about finding another place to stay, she thought sadly. No way Call was going to put up with her much longer - not after the way he’d left things on his way out. Maybe I’ll settle in somewhere before he even gets back. He won’t have to deal with me at all.
The square wasn’t nearly as busy as it had been the night of the funeral but there was plenty of activity. People passing through with sacks and with wheelbarrows and with guns, people sitting and chatting on the benches, passing in and out of the buildings, bustling about. Some gave her odd looks and she wondered if they knew she was part of that “little cult.”
She didn’t know whether to count herself lucky or unlucky when she came across Ripp again - he walked across the square with a woman. She was carrying a shovel and wearing gloves. He waved her on ahead of him and broke apart to approach Lia. “You look much better than the last time I saw you,” he said.
She mumbled “thank you,” not quite sure how to respond.
“Call wanted me to keep an eye out for ya’. Said you’d probably want to visit that minister friend of yours.”
“If you don’t mind,” she said, “I won’t be long. I just need to see him.”
She followed him towards the smallest of the buildings. “We didn’t hurt him, if that’s what your checking on,” Ripp said. She offered no reply.
Inside, they turned into what may have once been a dentist’s or doctor’s office. An armed guard nodded at Ripp as they passed through the open doorway. All four girls were seated in what used to be the waiting room, sitting on cushioned chairs that were somehow miraculously clean. As soon as Lia entered the room, they stood in unison and turned their backs.
“Guess they ain’t happy with you,” Ripp said, raising and eyebrow.
“I don’t blame them.”
The minister himself was in an examination room. It had been mostly emptied of furniture except for the cushioned table - she was relieved to see he at least had somewhere comfortable to rest. His hands were bound by handcuffs, which were padlocked to a chain, which was padlocked on the other end to the pipes along the ceiling. He had enough slack to move around the room and lay down wherever he liked, but that was all.
Upon seeing her face, he turned his back as well. “There, you see?” Ripp said, “Safe and secure. He’s being fed and watered, ain’t you, buddy? Got a nice clean bucket to piss in. Hell, he’s damn near royalty.” The minister didn’t respond. “We treat him this nice and he still thinks we’re all devil worshipers or somethin’.” Ripp shrugged.
“Father,” Lia said, her voice cracking, “I didn’t mean for you to end up like this. I just wanted you to know that.”
“There are special corners of hell for those who turn on their families,” he said, his voice hoarse.
“I know,” she whispered, “And I’m sorry. I just couldn’t stand to see anyone get hurt. They would have let you walk out, Father, you wouldn’t have needed to murder anyone. I just hope you can forgive me someday.”
He scoffed. “Have your demonic lovers set me free. That is the first step towards your atonement.” He glared over his shoulder. “There will be many steps, Lia. Only someone whose soul has been utterly blackened would do what you’ve done.”
She fled. She was aware of Ripp following on her heels but she ignored him as she barreled back outside the building and into the sunlight. Would she ever be able to make up for what she’d done to them? It was the right thing, wasn’t it? It had seemed like it at the time, but she was drunk and in pain and not thinking clearly. Am I thinking clearly now? Call would say no…
“Come on, darlin’” Ripp said, his voice gruff, “No one around here gets to do nothing for long.”
She shook her confused thoughts away and focused instead on the grizzled old biker before her. “You mean like a job?”
“Yeah. An assignment. Whatever.” He grinned. “If your shooting is half as good as Call says then we’ll give you a post at the walls eventually. Not until you demonstrate for me and the VP of course.”
“I can shoot,” she said. She knew it was an understatement but she didn’t want to brag, either.
“Well, we’ll see about that. We’ll leave you in the gardens with my wife for now,” he said.
She blinked. “That actually sounds kind of nice”.
The “gardens” were located behind Call’s building. The area had been a parking lot once, and a few men with pick-axes were working on breaking up and clearing away the asphalt. It looked like a slow process. At the furthest end, though, closest to the fence, plants grew and thrived. Ripp’s wife, May, was a middle-aged woman with a kindly face. Something about her stance though suggested that she tolerated very little nonsense.
“Glad you have you,” she said, wiping her hands on her jeans before shaking Lia’s hand.
It was sort of amazing - they were, in fact, growing edible vegetables. Something Lia herself had failed to do on a farm, they’d accomplished in a broken-up parking lot. As Call had mentioned it certainly wasn’t enough to feed a significant portion of the population of the compound, but from what Lia could tell, they’d get there eventually. Probably sooner than later. May and her crew seemed to be a very resourceful bunch.
“My tomatoes all just sort of died,” Lia said as she watched the woman work, pruning away around the tall plants. They’d harvested a few cucumbers, checked on some carrots, watered the spinach. It was a lot of hard work but it would become very necessary once the canned and jarred goods ran out. That day was still far in the future, according to May, but she didn’t seem to be the short-sighted type.
“I’ll bet you overwatered them. I’m assuming you didn’t plant them out of the sun, right?”
“No, they had plenty of sun.” The water theory sounded about right. Some days she just hovered around and watered them without thought just to appear busy.
“It’s not hot enough to need to water them every day,” she went on. “Did you keep the ground very wet all the time?”
“Yes.”
“Well. There you go.” She stuck her finger in the soil around the tomato plants, all climbing up stakes and looking green and healthy. “Yup, not watering these today. It’s a common mistake. We killed plenty of these guys ourselves at first.” She smiled as she pushed some leaves aside, revealing the little green bulbs. “They’ll be big and red soon enough. Patience is key.”
“I guess I was just impatient,” Lia said with a shrug. The truth was a little harder to explain.
“C’mon,” she said, “We’ve got some beans growing, too. Let’s finish this tour and then I’m gonna put you to work.”
Lia smiled. “That sounds great.” She meant it - she was thrilled to have something to do, something to occupy her mind and her hands. She’d gladly shovel manure if it distracted her from her confused and troubled thoughts.
◙◙◙◙◙◙◙◙◙◙
“Manure duty” wasn’t far off from what May ultimately assigned her to do the next morning. They were composting in the compound. Lia was given a shovel and assigned to adding the compost to the newly broken-up parts of the parking lot after the chunks of asphalt were all cleared away. The men with the axes broke up the hard-packed dirt as well, but it would be near useless to just go ahead and plant seedlings right in the “dead dirt,” as May called it.
She was dirty up to her elbows when a girl wi
th a shock of blond hair rounded the corner and called her name. “I never thought I’d see you again!”
“Sunny!” The missing girl. The one they’d said had gotten away from the farm, but could have died anywhere else anyway. She was alive, and unharmed from the look of her. Lia bound to her feet and the two crushed each other in a hug, laughing and babbling, “What have you been doing, where have you been, are you all right?”
Sunny stepped back to get a better look at her. “I knew you’d make it,” she said. “You shoot the best out of anybody.”
“I was lucky,” Lia said, “Where have you been? It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”
Sunny smiled broadly. “I got picked up on the road and I led the poor guys on a wild goose chase. I was convinced you guys would make it to the silo, but that was overrun by the corpses so then I was sure you were at the church, and then the stables, and then we bumped into more corpses and more bikers, and oh gosh Lia, it’s been kind of exciting, you know?”
Lia laughed. Exciting wasn’t the exact word she’d choose but Sunny had always lived in her own little world. Even as she babbled on about her journey she wore a somewhat spacey look on her face. Lia loved her for it; no one could change Sunny, mostly because it was impossible to ever guess what the girl was thinking.
“I’m so glad you finally made it,” Lia said, wiping her hands on her pants. “When did you arrive?”
“Just yesterday.” She whispered, “Father’s locked up? They let me say hello but I didn’t stay long. The other girls are just sitting around in there.”
“I know,” Lia said, “Long story, but you ought to know, it was sort of my fault.” She cringed as she said it. “They aren’t speaking to me right now. They probably won’t ever.”
Lia waited for Sunny to turn her back on her, too. The girl considered her for a moment, her face unreadable. Her response was the last one Lia expected. “Fuck ‘em.”
“What?!” she gaped.
“Fuck ‘em!” She drew Lia in for another brief hug, then went on, “I know you were raised like that, like what the minister wanted us all to be. But not me. I never told any of you this, but my mother was a Wiccan.” She grinned broadly.
Lia’s brows furrowed. That made an odd sort of sense. “Then what were you doing on the farm?”
“Getting fed and learning how to shoot, silly!” She practically bounced on her heels as she spoke. It was like a dam breaking, like she was finally letting loose all the things about herself that she’d been holding back. “I followed his rules and all because you know, his house, his rules, fair enough. But this place isn’t his house.” She swept her arms in front of her, taking in the garden. “This is amazing!”
Lia pressed her fingers to her temples.
“Hey, it’s not so bad,” Sunny said, taking and holding her hands. “I’m still the same Sunny. I’d like us to still be friends, Lia.”
“I would too,” she said, smiling weakly.
“Great! So, any hunky bikers you’ve got your eyes on?” Sunny asked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. “Gosh it’s nice to see some men around.”
“Sunny!”
“C’mon, look at them, they’re hot as hell!” Lia shook her head. The girl was crazy! “I mean, I fucked this guy Preacher for most of the trip, but I don’t think he’s a long-term type.” She snorted to herself. “Traded the minister for a Preacher. How about that.”
“I should get back to work,” Lia said, breaking away from Sunny’s grip and wandering back into the garden. She was feeling light-headed and needed to sit down. She dropped heavily next to her shovel and her compost bucket.
Sunny followed and towered over her. “Don’t let the minister stay inside your head.” She spoke as if she were scolding her. “I know you’re more grounded than that. You’re smarter than those other girls. I’m not even smart and I can see that he’s crazy.” Lia ignored her, sloppily digging into the compost and mixing it into the dirt. I can’t think about this right now. I can’t. Sunny wasn’t ready to let up, though. She sank down onto her knees in front of her and looked at her through clear eyes - a rare moment for the distant-eyed dreamer. “You don’t need his approval. I say you’re a good person and other people are gonna see it, too. You’ve just got to shake him off.”
Lia blinked, and blinked again. “I have to get back to work,” she whispered. Alarm bells. Why do I hear the alarm bells?
Sunny finally relented. “Okay. Okay. But I’m gonna visit you again real soon.” She glanced around, then winked at her. “Maybe I can score and assignment over here, too. This is kind of nice.”
Then she rose and was gone. Lia remained frozen, her heart beating in her ringing ears, her shovel gripped tight in her shaking hand. Call’s word rang through her head - brainwashed.
A hand on her shoulder brought her back to reality. May looked down on her with concern clear on her face. “You okay?” Lia swallowed and nodded. “Let’s taste the peppers,” she said, “I think they’re about ripe but I could use another opinion.”
“Okay.” Lia let the other woman lead her back to the green part of the garden.
“Your friend is pretty wise, for a blond,” May said carefully. She picked up a piece of green pepper that she had sliced. “Taste?”
Lia smiled and nodded as she bit into it, but she couldn’t taste a thing.
“I shouldn’t have confronted you like that the other day.” Sunny had done just what she’d threatened to do - gotten herself assigned to the garden. I’ll be placed on a post on the wall soon enough, Lia reassured herself. She’d come to appreciate the girl’s company, though. In fact, she’d go as far as calling her a close friend. It had been a few days since the conversation Sunny referenced, but they’d spent every day together since, talking about other things, learning about the compound and getting to know its residents.
Neither had been back to visit Father Speer or the girls since. Lia found her desire to do so waning. Sunny’s friendship helped; she didn’t feel nearly as alone with the girl chattering constantly in her ear.
“It’s all right,” Lia said. “I needed to hear some sense. Maybe I just wasn’t ready is all.” Maybe I’m still not. She felt like she was in limbo between worlds. Part of her was dreading Call’s return. She could see now that she had some serious baggage, and the president could be expected to have time for it. She needed to stay out of his way. She needed to move out of his apartment. She just hadn’t been able to make herself do it yet.
Sunny herself was staying with Preacher at the moment, though she claimed she was getting bored with the rough and crass biker. “He never wants to talk, he just wants to screw,” she had complained numerous times. Maybe we ought to move into a room together. The thought made her chuckle. I think I’d lose my mind.
They worked together, throwing chips of asphalt into a wheelbarrow, scooping shovels full of compost from the buckets. The day was cloudy and the square quiet as people retreated indoors in anticipation of the rain. Lia figured they still had a little time before it started.
“Any word on when the president’s getting back?” Sunny asked, winking.
“Not yet.” She’d told Sunny bits of pieces about her journey and her time with Call. Sunny declared the whole thing terribly romantic and tragic and demanded that she be kept updated. What could Lia do but laugh?
“Shame. I want you two to screw already and start making babies.” She stared off into the sky wearing a spacey little smile. “I can’t wait to be pregnant. It’s gonna happen soon, I just know it.”
Lia sputtered. That was Sunny - always changing the subject with something shocking. “With Preacher?”
“Doesn’t matter.” She patted her belly, getting compost on her shirt in the process. A post-apocalypse pregnancy sounded like a nightmare, but Lia kept her opinion to herself. When Sunny got that dreamy look, she wouldn’t hear anything she didn’t want to hear anyway.
Both girls looked up as Ripp approached, his face grim. Lia’s heart sank. Ba
d news? “Call’s home,” he said.
“Is he injured?” she asked, springing to her feet.
Ripp shook his head. “He’s fine.”
She brushed her hands clean. “Why the face, then?”
He shook his head. “We’ve just got some shit situations to deal with. Don’t you worry about it. Just thought you’d like to know he’s back.”
Sunny prodded her in the side. “Go,” she hissed.
“But-”
“Don’t think, just go!” Lia jumped up before the blond could prod her again. She took off towards the building’s front door, walking briskly but trying not to seem like she was in a rush. Ripp knew anyway - he chuckled and shook his head as she passed him.
The closer she got to the apartment, the more apprehensive she grew. It was completely possible that he wouldn’t want to see her at all; maybe his time away had allowed him to see her more clearly for what she was - troubled. Damaged. Brainwashed.
She pushed the door open slowly, peeking her head around so as not to disturb him if he’d gone to bed. He was awake though, sitting on the edge of the mattress, staring at his boots. She slipped inside and shut the door behind her.
“Hey,” she said softly. “Ripp said you were home.” The look on his face broke her heart. Something was wrong; something had happened. As much as she didn’t want to disturb him, she couldn’t stand aside while he seemed so forlorn. She went to him and hugged him to her, pulling him in so his head rested on her chest, half-afraid he would push her away.
Instead her hugged her back, engulfing her in his arms. “What happened?” she asked softly.
“We liberated a camp,” he said. A shudder passed through him. “We’ve got a bus of a dozen women on their way here, half of them pregnant.”
Dark Paths: Apocalypse Riders Page 10