by Regina Darcy
She wanted to be alone.
She wanted to ride until she was tired out, too exhausted to care about anything other than rest.
She wanted to forget him.
Wanted to forget what she had seen.
Pain laced through her.
She should have known better. Caroline had warned her ample enough. But she had been so sure they were meant to be together.
She started sobbing uncontrollably.
Her engagement to the Marquess was nothing more than a sham.
He had lied to her from the beginning, telling her that he had changed his ways and would not seek a mistress.
Had she not seen him doing precisely what he had said he would not? He would not come to care for her as she so desperately hoped.
As reality descended upon her, everything Ann had ever believed about the Marquess cracked and dissolved.
There was nothing but sorrow within her heart, nothing but torment and pain that racked her very core as she rode away from him.
Yes, he had saved Beatrice from a terrible accident but Theodora had been right to warn her that one act of courage did not give credence to his character.
What a fool she had been to lose her heart to him! And how much more of a fool now that she could not escape from him again.
EIGHT
Some hours earlier
Charles was just about to send for some refreshment when one of his friends, a Mr Steven Townsend, came calling.
“What bring you here Townsend?”
“Now is that anyway to great your closest friend?”
Charles sighed. Clearly Townsend was in a playful mood, knowing him this meant he would be needling him for the next hour.
“The best way to great someone who is keeping me from my afternoon tea,” Charles retorted.
“I just wanted to see the luckiest devil in London,” Townsend replied with a chuckled.
“How so?”
“You are the only person I know who has the bad luck of being forced into an arranged marriage and still end up trumps.
Miss Winters is not only the quintessential English rose, she is intelligent, she rides superbly and already has all your acquaintances eating out of her hand.
Charles sighed, poured himself a glass of whiskey and passed the decanter to his friend.
“I admit, things might have been worse,” he replied after a moment of consideration.
“Good heavens! You’ve carried home a trophy and all you can say is ‘things might have been worse’! Townsend laughed heartily.
“Well, do not say you have not been warned. I saw Danvers lurking about her the other day, as well as Hortens. I assume they are not her only admirers. I predict that you will soon have to lock in her affections or she will likely fall into more responsive arms the very minute you are married.”
“Yours I will assume,” Charles answered sourly.
“I have thought about it,” Townsend replied with a laugh, “but it is poor form to seduce one friend’s wife – do you not agree,” he concluded with a smile.
“Damn it all – watch your mouth! You know the circumstances under which I was pressured into this marriage, it is not something one forgets in a fortnight.”
“That is hardly Miss Winters fault. You are hardly an innocent, whilst she exudes a bouquet that any rogue would gladly pluck.” Suddenly Townsend’s easy smile disappeared.
“What are you trying to say to me?” Charles asked irritably.
“Have you tried charming her?”
“Enough. I have no intentions of discussing my betrothed with anyone, much less you Townsend. And should you try to seduce her once she is my wife – I will not hesitate to call you out.”
“It might be worth it!” Townsend replied with chuckle as he downed his whiskey and started walking towards the door. Charles was scowling as he watched him depart.
“I did not think that I would see you here this afternoon, Lady Hedley.”
Charles found himself sighing heavily as Lady Hedley drew near. How was it that she always seemed to know where he intended to be? Why was it that he could not seem to escape from her, no matter how hard he tried?
Her timing could not have been more unfortunate – Townsend’s words still echoed in his ears, wreaking havoc in his mind.
“I had hoped that you would be in Hyde Park this afternoon,” Lady Hedley cooed, taking his arm even though he had not offered it. “You are not with Miss Winters, however?”
Charles shook his head.
“No,” he stated, his mind going to his betrothed and discovering a thrill of excitement that ran up his spine at the thought of seeing her again this evening.
“I am to take Miss Winters to Lady Montague’s soiree this evening, however.”
Lady Hedley trilled with laughter.
“But you cannot bear to be in her company on two separate occasions in one day,” she stated, waving a hand as though this was to be expected.
“I quite understand.”
“Indeed, that is not it at all,” Charles replied, a spark of annoyance in his tone. “It is merely that find myself with much leisure-time this afternoon, for Miss Winters wished to spend some time with her sister. That is all.”
Lady Hedley laughed again and the sound began to grate on Charles’ nerves. Lady Hedley had been one of the finest ladies of his acquaintance and he had always found her attentions to be both warm and welcoming – although he had never taken advantage of such affections – but now he was beginning to grow tired of her presence in his life.
The way she spoke of Miss Winters was irritating, the way she brushed all thought of his betrothed aside, as though she meant nothing, was frustrating. Besides which, had he not told Miss Winters that his intimacy with Lady Hedley would not be continuing? Had he not reassured her that he would no longer be the rascal he had once been called? He had no intentions of letting Lady Hedley make a liar out of him.
“You must walk with me, my lord,” Lady Hedley said, decisively, leaning into him and looking up into his face with those piercing blue eyes that had so often captured his attention.
Her dark lashes fluttered for a moment, her smile soft, but Charles did not react in any way whatsoever.
“A short walk, perhaps,” he agreed, turning his eyes away from Lady Hedley and back towards the path in front of him. “I do not always appreciate the social activities of Hyde Park, I confess.”
Lady Hedley gasped in mock astonishment, making Charles turn to her in surprise.
“You cannot be speaking so, my dear Marquess!” she exclaimed, patting his arm with her free hand. “You, the gentleman who loved the fashionable hour only a fortnight ago? No, I will not believe that Miss Winters had already changed you so much.”
Charles shrugged, wishing that he could set Lady Hedley with someone other than himself so that he might enjoy a walk in solitude, as he had planned.
“I find that I have changed in both my considerations and in my behaviour, Lady Hedley,” he told her, seeing her brows lift in astonishment. “Whether that has come from being in the company of Miss Winters or not, I cannot say.”
Lady Hedley sniffed and looked away.
“I consider such changes to be most unwelcome, my lord,” she replied, primly. “You always enjoyed the company of the beau monde and loved nothing better than to know you were being spoken of by the gossip mongers.” She sighed and shook her head, whilst Charles winced at the harshness of her words. “I cannot see why you should have to change in such a dramatic fashion.”
“I must,” he replied, evenly, as they walked towards a large copse of trees that would hide them from the view of all those gathering during the fashionable hour.
Charles set his jaw, knowing that this would be the perfect opportunity to make sure Lady Hedley knew that her eagerness for his intimate acquaintance would never come to fruition.
“I intend to be dedicated solely to my wife and therefore, certain things must change.”
“Then you are being utterly ridiculous,” Lady Hedley declared, self-righteously. “There is no requirement to behave in such a fashion!”
Charles stopped and lifted one eyebrow.
“I am to make marriage vows before God and man,” he reminded her, seeing how she sighed heavily as though he had said something even more foolish. “Despite my reputation, I am a man of my word. I intend to keep to my wedding vows, Lady Hedley.”
Lady Hedley sighed and looked up into his face, turning towards him so that they stood facing each other. “I hardly think you will be required to do so, when you have no true wish to marry the lady,” she suggested, her voice soft and encouraging. “I know that this is not of your doing. You did not choose Miss Winters and propose to her.”
Charles, who had not said a word to anyone about what had occurred that night, frowned hard and kept his lips pressed firmly together. Lady Hedley was not about to wheedle the truth out of him.
“If you will not tell me, then that is your choice, but I will go on believing that this is not of your doing,” Lady Hedley continued, after a moment. “Come now, Penderstone! You and I have known each other for some time and you cannot truly expect me to believe that you have simply chosen Miss Winters and thereafter, have set yourself against the life you so enjoyed.” She leaned closer, her smile dazzling him as it had so often done before. “Why do you not admit that you have no choice in the matter? What did you do, Penderstone? Attempt to seduce her?”
Charles stiffened, with Lady Hedley’s smile no longer capturing him.
“I have never deflowered an innocent,” he stated, with a hint of anger in his eyes. “I have chosen Miss Winters and that is all that you need concern yourself with.”
If Lady Hedley was disappointed by this answer, she did not show it. Instead, she simply pressed her hand to his chest, smoothing her hand out and allowing it to rest against his heart. Charles felt himself unmoved, looking down at where she touched him and finding that nothing sparked within him. There was no rush of heat, no sudden, desperate surge of longing. It was as though in attempting to change outwardly, he had unwittingly changed the man he was within.
“I fear that I shall not capture you, my dear Marquess.”
Looking back into Lady Hedley’s eyes, he gave her a sad smile. “I fear you shall not, Lady Hedley.”
“You do know what it is that I offer you, do you not?” she asked, carefully, searching his eyes as though he did not fully understand what it was to take a mistress.
Charles raised an eyebrow.
“You know that I give you myself without any desire for love and affection to go with it?”
“I do,” he said, slowly, setting his shoulders and reaching up to grasp her hand with both of his, shaking his head gently. “And yet, I find myself unwilling to accept such an offer.” He made to push her hand back, made to separate them both from each other and saw the regret in her eyes as he did so.
For so long, he had allowed Lady Hedley to hold out hope, had allowed her to tease him and taunt him, knowing that she would be his in a moment if he but asked it of her.
He had enjoyed the thrill of the chase, although she had never been so overt with her favours until a few days before he had found himself engaged to Miss Winters. Would he have accepted her in the end if he had not found himself engaged? That was something neither of them would ever know.
“I am sorry to hear that from your lips,” Lady Hedley murmured, her eyes downcast. “For I thought that you and I should do very well together.”
“I must remain tied to Miss Winters,” he explained, only to hear a strangled sound coming from somewhere to his right. Looking over and letting Lady Hedley’s hands go at once, he was horrified to see none other than his betrothed sitting side-saddle on her mare, her sister close by. She was looking at him with agony in her eyes, her cheeks white and her hands grasping the reins tightly. Charles did not know what to say, looking up at her all he wanted was to wipe away the look of disappointment in her eyes.
“Oh dear,” he heard Lady Hedley say, although there was no true compassion in her voice. “This is a trifle unfortunate.”
Charles opened his mouth to say something to Miss Winters, tried to explain but without warning, she wheeled her horse around and took off at a tremendous pace.
“Ann!” her sister, the Duchess Sotheby called, turning her horse around, but Miss Winters did not stop.
“It is not as it seems!” Charles exclaimed, striding towards the Duchess who was staring after her sister with wide eyes. “I was merely –”
A thunderclap sounded overhead, making her horse jump and cutting off the end of his conversation.
“I care not for what you were doing or for the excuses you will make, Lord Penderstone,” the Duchess said, crisply, her narrowed eyes now trained on him. “I need to find my sister. If you will help me, then I would be grateful for it. Otherwise, you must excuse me.”
She too rode away after Miss Winters, although her pace was a good deal gentler than the first. Charles stood watching helplessly, his fists clenched, for he did not have a horse and could not easily procure one in this section of the Hyde Park.
“If your engagement comes to an end, my dear Penderstone, then I do hope you will turn to me for comfort.”
Charles closed his eyes, his jaw set before he wheeled around, glaring at Lady Hedley.
“Listen closely, Lady Hedley, for I will not repeat myself,” he began, his eyes narrowing. “I care nothing for you. I used to find your comportment enchanting and thought your affections to be something I might sample when I felt the time was right. Now, however, you can be assured that there will be no such interaction between us. I bring an end to our acquaintance here, at this very moment. Do you understand me?”
Lady Hedley stepped back as though he had struck her, her eyes wide with shock.
“I do not wish to hear you suggest a liaison again, I hope I made myself sufficiently clear,” Charles continued, now walking away from her. “I shall never seek your affections and beg you not to offer them to me again.” So saying, he stormed away and hurried along the path, his mind filled with none other than Miss Winters.
Charles did not know how long it was that he searched the Park, for it seemed both hours and but moments at the same time. His legs grew weary, his body cold with the rain that had begun to pour down from the skies in sheets. The Duchess had been frantically searching for her sister but had been forced to take shelter in a small outbuilding on one side of the Park, for fear that she would catch a chill and thereafter, could become ill. A boy had been sent to the house to discover if Miss Winters had returned there but Charles had been determined to continue on regardless until the boy returned with news.
“Miss Winters?”
The air was damp now, the clouds finally beginning to clear as the thunderstorm moved away. Moisture dripped from his jacket; his dark hair soaked by the rain. Pushing it out of his eyes, Charles paused for a moment and continued to search for Miss Winters, his heart thudding with desperation. Where had she gone?
This is all your doing.
Worry and guilt tore at him. If he had not gone walking with Lady Hedley, then Miss Winters would not have discovered them and would not have ridden off in such haste. He could not even imagine what it was she thought of him. Closing his eyes tightly, Charles let out a long breath, and raked his hand through his hair. He silently prayed that he would be able to find her.
An unexpected sound caught his attention. Lifting his head, he suddenly saw a horse appearing out of a small copse of trees. It nickered again, as though trying to find someone – and Charles ran towards it without hesitation.
It did not take long to find Miss Winters. She was lying on the ground, her eyes closed and her face pale. A large bump was on her forehead, with blood trickling down into her hair. She was soaked through, her clothes clinging to her.
His heart quailed for a moment as he bent down over her,
fearing the worst – but a small exhalation of breath had him weak with relief.
“Come, Miss Winters,” he breathed, reaching down to scoop her up into his arms. “We shall have you back safe soon enough.” Looking down into her pale face, seeing her eyes still closed, Charles felt a sudden swell of affection wash over him. He did not want Lady Hedley’s affections, as he had said to the lady herself, but neither did he want the affections or the attentions of any other.
All he wanted was Miss Winters. He wanted her to smile again, to look at him with bright eyes and a happiness in her expression that had been absent for so long. His desire was for her and the emotions in his heart could no longer be quelled.
“And I will speak of them to you, if you will allow me,” he told her, quickly making his way across the park and towards the outbuilding, where the Duchess waited.
“Once you have recovered yourself, my dear Miss Winters, I shall tell you all the truths that are hidden within my heart and you shall know me as you have never done before.”
NINE
Miss Ann Winters to Miss Caroline Winters
London, MAYFAIR.
Dear Caro,
I fear you were right. The seed I thought was sowed was nought but a speck of lint. He does not hold me in his affections. Never have I felt so heartbroken.
How oh how do I exorcize him from my heart? My love for him has blossomed to a rose, wrapped around my heart. But now that rose has thorns. Sharp thorns that cause damage without consideration.
Oh Caro, I wish you and Beatrice were here. Or even Papa for that matter! You would surely distract me from my melancholy.
Yours heartbroken and sad,
A. Winters
It appeared that falling from a horse was, in fact, rather painful. Two days after she had taken a tumble in Hyde Park, Ann was still not prepared to rise from her bed.
“You should be able to go about as you have been,” the doctor murmured, as he inspected the bump on Ann’s forehead. “I cannot see any other injuries other than this here.”