I press my back into his chest, and he folds his arms around me again. “I think you’re jealous,” I say with a laugh.
“Of that loser?” he scoffs. “Hardly. I just don’t like to share my girl.” He lifts my hair, sliding it over one shoulder, and kisses my neck softly. I smile, even though he can’t see my face, letting the words my girl linger in my mind and liking the sound of them.
“And I’m sorry I got mad. I understand you have to go tomorrow, but then after that…” He pauses. “If you want to, of course, you can take that bracelet off, and we’ll have three things to celebrate—getting the flash drive, your break up with Asher…and our ability to escape from the scumbag hands of The Protectorate.”
I realize Darian is probably worried I’m having second thoughts. “I do want to take it off, believe me,” I say, squeezing his hands. “But when are we going to get the flash drive?”
I figure Darian wants to go looking for it tomorrow night when it’s dark, but now that I have the date with Asher to go on…
“You up for an early morning outing?” he asks. “We can go before the sun comes up.”
I nod. “Sure. But do you think it’s still there?” The thought sends a deep fear rushing through me.
What if the flash drive isn’t there?
And if it isn’t, will Jameson agree to cough up the location of the nearest Awakened cell based on only an empty vial—an empty vial labeled with a drug they’ve never heard of?
Somehow, I don’t think so.
Darian straightens up behind me. “It has to still be there. And the good news is, it seems like the officials have moved on from staking out my old house. I’ve been watching them…hunting for me…like the wolves that they are. But still, we can’t take any chances.”
Darian makes his way to the other side of the room and pulls a flashlight from a box in the corner. “Come on,” he says. “We’d better get you home.” He turns it on and taps the light until it flickers to life.
As much as I hate to leave, I know he’s right. Even though the trams run later on the weekends, if I don’t leave soon, I’ll miss the last one.
We blow out the candles in the room one by one. Tiny, gray billows of smoke swirl through the air, the aroma of smoke and ash mingling with the scent of vanilla.
Then he takes my hand and leads me back through the woods, following the glow of the flashlight. The sounds of birds rustling in the trees and critters skittering through the brush seem enhanced in the dark.
Darian tells me about the plans for the morning as we walk—where to meet, signals to exchange if there’s a problem.
I hear every word he says. Although our plan terrifies me, the sound of his voice is comforting, so deep, strong, and familiar, that a sense of calm works its way through my fears.
Chapter Twenty-Two
When I’m almost home, all I can think about is getting at least four hours’ sleep before my early rise, and about what excuse I can give my parents. They’re working the night shift, and I’ll be leaving the house when it’s still dark and before they get home. I decide to leave a note before I take off. The last thing I need is for them to worry when they see my empty bed.
Just when I’m pulling my bike up the driveway, something shifts in the shadows beside me. I twist around and see Laken standing with her arms folded over her chest. “So, tell me, Desiree,” she asks. “What did we buy?”
Our shopping trip. My parents must’ve asked her about it… I only hope she didn’t tell on me.
“Laken…sorry, I—”
“Didn’t go shopping, I know,” she cuts in. “What’s going on with you, Rae? You hardly call me anymore and you were acting all weird about Asher the last time I saw you. And now I find out that you lied to your parents and said you were going shopping with me.” A thin line forms between her brows. “What’s up with you? It’s like you’re sick or something. You never lie to your parents.”
That was the old Desiree. The one that existed before I found out we live in a world of deceit.
I shake my head. “Nothing’s going on. I’m not sick, and I’m sorry I haven’t called lately. It’s just been hectic with my schedule and everything. How did it go with you and Rowen on your first date?” I ask, trying to change the topic.
She lowers her arms and smiles a little. “He’s as amazing as ever. I just wish we could be bound sooner, that’s all.” She shrugs and sighs as though she’s deciding whether she should still be mad at me. “Did your date go okay?”
I set my bike down on its kickstand and walk toward the garage. “Yeah, it was good. Asher was nice and everything.” I roll up the garage door, thinking it’s best to leave out all the stuff about Mallory…and about me fainting.
Laken is quiet, shifting from one foot to the other and looking everywhere except at me. I push my bike into the garage, step back out, and roll down the door. The rumbling sound breaks into our awkward silence. I hate it. I wish our friendship could be the way it was before Darian broke out of jail, before this binding stuff happened with Asher, and before I found out the truth about The Protectorate.
Turning back to face her, I rub my hands together. “How’s school?” I ask, in a desperate attempt to find an easy source of conversation.
“It’s all right,” she says, lifting one shoulder. “So…you gonna tell me where you really were tonight when you were supposed to be shopping with me?”
The question hangs there a moment, and I’m not sure what to say. I obviously can’t tell her I was with Darian, and if I tell her I went to the metro alone she’d never believe me anyway. The old Desiree would never do something that reckless.
I try to swallow back the lie burning in my throat, but it bubbles up anyway. “I just went for a bike ride, you know, to clear my head. I, ah, figured if I told my parents I was going alone at night they’d worry, you know. S—so I said I was going with you. Sorry, I didn’t think they’d call to check.” I look at my shoes, and then back at her. “Did you say—?”
“Don’t worry. I covered your butt,” she says, frowning, and I don’t know if she’s more angry or hurt. “I would have come with you, you know…if you bothered asking.”
Yeah, definitely more hurt.
“Sorry,” I say again, and I am. I wish I could tell her everything I know to be true, convince her somehow. I miss the close friendship we had, but I can never go back to the way it was and pretend that everything is okay.
Laken is bound to the guy of her dreams and was born a Seven, so it’s easy for her to be content with things the way they are. Still, she deserves to know the truth so she can make an informed decision.
But even if I tell her now, I doubt she’d believe me with so little proof, and Darian and I are already pushing it by bringing my parents. Laken is safe for now. Once I get more evidence and we find the closest cell of The Awakened, I’m coming back for her, for the Monroes, for Mr. Williams and his wife, and for Sage too.
“All right then. Well, I won’t keep you,” she says, sounding completely formal as she turns around to leave.
I reach my arm out as she pulls her bike from the shadows. “Hey.” I’m about to ask her if she wants to hang out next weekend, but then it dawns on me that as long as Jameson comes through, I won’t be here. That this is probably the last time I’ll see Laken for a while—until I come back for her—if I’m even able to come back at all. It hits me that this could be the last time I ever see her if things go badly.
The thought makes my throat burn and memories of Laken and me flood my mind. Baking cookies, swimming lessons, dreaming of being bound with someone amazing like a high standing official’s son, or a gorgeous athlete. Our marathon late-night conversations and learning how to whistle using our fingers until we both hyperventilated…
Everything.
“Yeah?” she asks, bringing me back to reality.
“I’m sorry,” I say again, because it’s the only thing I can think of and the only thing I can manage past the huge lump i
n my throat.
She shrugs. “Yeah, me too.” She hops on her bike and rides off into the night, leaving me with a burning hole in my stomach.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Before I know it, my Dreamscape shuts down. I force my eyes open, hardly feeling rested at all, and stretch my arms wide with a yawn. It’s early and still dark outside, but I quickly grab a bowl of cereal, careful to leave the box and used bowl out on the table as evidence of being home, and scribble a note for my parents.
I write that I’m going for an early morning bike ride. By the time they get home it’ll be light outside and they’ll most likely think they just missed me. I also write that I’ll be sure not to wake them when I get home, and that I have another group date with Asher tonight.
I still haven’t figured out exactly how to convince my parents to come with us. But if Darian and I get the proof we’re after, they’ll have to believe me.
The roads are quieter at this time of the day with fewer cars coming and going to the various Sky Tram Ports and, although it’s kind of creepy, I push on. My heart thumps, thinking of seeing Darian, and I’m worried about getting caught.
Just as I slide my bike into the bike rack at the Sky Tram Port, I hear someone shout my name.
Gasping, I twist around, wondering who could be here at this time, and see that it’s Asher.
What’s he doing here?
“Oh, hey,” I say, as he comes running up to me. “Why are you here?”
Asher laughs, his cheeks pink from the cool air. “I was just about to ask you the same thing.”
I look back at the tram, hoping for an answer as to why anyone who didn’t have to would ride it just after four a.m.
Twisting my hands behind my back, I dig my fingernails into my palms. “I went for a bike ride, and I got cold so I thought I’d take a ride. That way I can look at the pretty fall colors and keep warm at the same time,” I say lamely.
“You always were into colors and stuff, weren’t you?” he asks. “You still draw?”
I inwardly roll my eyes. Drawing is something like painting, but still. “I paint.”
He nods. “Right. Sorry. But, I’d love to see some of your work sometime.”
I can’t help my surprise. He sounds sincere, like he really is interested in seeing my art. Maybe I’ve been too hard on him. “Thanks, Asher.”
“I’m heading to The Empire.” He ticks his head toward the Sky Tram Port.
And it’s then that I notice his charcoal-gray wool coat, bearing the owl logo of The Protectorate, stitched into the spot above his heart, and remember he’s studying to become a head official.
“You have school on the weekend?” I ask, surprised.
“Not usually, but we have extra hours on the weekend because we’re…” He leans in and whispers in my ear. “We’re learning how to work the Terrorscape.”
I shiver involuntarily and immediately think of the time Darian, Coral, and Owen spent there. Swallowing hard, I grit my teeth, realizing that I wasn’t wrong. Asher was a bully and if he likes his job, then he must still be one. The Protectorate chose him to be a head official in the first place. They must’ve known from birth his true nature, and they really are right about a lot of things.
“You’re enjoying that then?” I say, forcing back the undercurrent of venom lacing my words.
Then something odd happens.
Asher looks at me with pain in his eyes. As if he doesn’t want me to notice, he turns his head away and coughs into his hand. When he looks back, he sighs and says, “Between you and me, I hate it. I know The Protectorate needs to punish our criminals, but I just wish there was some other way…it just seems—” He shrugs. “—harsh.” His eyes cloud over and he looks away. “Sounds dumb, right?”
I choke on my next breath. This Asher is not the Asher I knew from my childhood. I place my hand on his shoulder and say, “No, it doesn’t. Are you okay?”
He takes a deep breath and shakes his body in a quick, spastic motion like he’s trying to chase away bad thoughts. Looking back at me, he smiles. “I’ll be fine. I’m new at this so I guess it takes some getting used to.”
“Right,” I say, suddenly feeling bad for him. “I’m sure it does.”
My watch beeps and I remember the alarm I set this morning. If I don’t hurry, I’ll be late again meeting Darian.
And today is one day I can’t afford to be late. If the sun comes up, we’ll lose our chance to sneak into his backyard and find that flash drive.
“You have to be somewhere?” Asher asks, cocking a blond brow.
I shut off the annoying beeping on my watch and wrap my arms around my elbows. “It’s just a reminder not to be out too long,” I say. “My parents are working the night shift and I want to get home before they do.”
I’m not really sure if that’s possible, but it sounds good anyway. It’s eerie how I lie so easily now.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you tonight,” I say.
“Right!” Asher says, suddenly beaming. “I almost forgot.” He reaches his hand under his jacket and pulls out a piece of white paper folded in crisp lines. “I was going to give this to you then, but here you go.” He hands me the paper. “Mallory wrote this for you.”
I wrinkle my forehead. “Mallory? As in your Mallory?” I ask.
Asher shakes his head and frowns. “She’s not my Mallory…you’re my Desiree.”
My insides drop, guilt burning through me like acid when he says it. He really believes we’re meant to be, even though he obviously cares for someone else. I never wanted to be with Asher, but I never wanted to hurt him either…especially now that I’m beginning to see that he’s changed.
My stomach twists itself into knots as a strong sense of duty fills me. I glance into Asher’s bright eyes, meeting his expectant gaze. Maybe if I didn’t know the truth about The Protectorate, I could have made a life with him work. I’m not sure I could ever really love him or even like him the way I do Darian, but maybe it wouldn’t have been as bad as I first thought.
But knowing The Protectorate tricks us, that they give us medication to make us forget, and steal children from their families, makes me realize they could be doing a lot more that we aren’t aware of—including binding us with people, clueless whether they’re the right choice or not.
For all I know, our binding partners are created by some random draw. And I don’t want to live my life based on chance decisions made by somebody else. Or by a machine. This I know.
Besides, I’m pretty sure if Asher knew the truth about everything, he’d choose to be with Mallory. He’s just trying to do what he thinks is right and what he’s been brought up to believe. What we’ve all been brought up to believe. There’s something to be said for the old saying, “ignorance is bliss.”
Asher shakes the paper in the air, making a ruffling sound, returning my focus on him. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable on our dates,” he says. “Mallory told me what happened in the bathroom, and I’m really sorry.”
I give him a hesitant smile and quickly open the note. Darian is waiting for me, but I’m curious what Mallory could possibly have to say. I drop my gaze to the paper in my hands.
Dear Desiree,
Please accept my sincere apology for how I treated you the other night. I had no right to speak to you that way. All I can tell you is that I let my emotions take over and that I was wrong. Even though it kills me, Asher belongs with you. I know this and I know I have to accept it. Asher told me that you’re great and I hope that one day we can all be friends.
Sincerely,
Mallory Six Moore
I think my eyes nearly pop out of my head. I look from the note back to Asher. “You sure she wrote this?” I ask, wondering if he actually wrote it and just said she did. There’s no way the girl I met in the bathroom wrote this letter.
Asher laughs. “Yeah, she wrote it yesterday. She’s really amazing—” He stops and sighs, the softest of sounds.
“It’s f
ine,” I say, forcing a reassuring smile. “That was really nice of her.” I hand the note back to him. “But you better destroy it. If by some chance an official sees something like that, it could definitely cause you problems.”
He nods and his face flushes as though he’s embarrassed. And I realize what a huge risk it was for both of them to even write the note to try to make me feel better.
“Please thank Mallory for me for writing it, and thank you for showing it to me. I mean it.” I eye my watch. “But, Asher, I’m sorry but I’ve got to go.” I rush toward the Sky Tram Port, and he jogs alongside me.
“Yeah, I’ve gotta get to work,” he says. “But hey, it’s supposed to be unseasonably warm temperatures today, and our date tonight is an outdoor barbeque at the beach—did you hear?”
“No, but that sounds good,” I say, my mind shifting to thoughts of Darian—how I need to get to him, how much I miss him, and how much I wish the barbeque date was with him.
As we hurry toward our separate trams, I can’t help wondering what Asher will do when I disappear. Mallory is bound with another guy, so he can’t be bound with her. The thought makes me feel guilty, so I push it away, unable to deal with the ever-growing emotions swirling inside me.
Darian is waiting exactly where he said he’d be—one street over from his house, by the Post Depository. It’s still dark outside, and the neighborhood is asleep with only the low glow of streetlamps lighting up the road.
“Are you ever on time?” he says when I approach, out of breath.
“Sorry about that,” I say and leave it at that. Telling him that I ran into Asher might throw him into a bad mood, and right now we need to focus.
Darian pulls me into a hug and whispers in my ear. “You sure you want to do this? You know what will happen if they find us together, right?”
A shiver runs through me, but I pull back and nod. “Let’s just make sure they don’t find us,” I say firmly, sounding more confident than I feel.
Awakening Page 18