by Gina LaManna
“Let’s go,” he said again. “That’s enough, Ilinia.”
“You two make a beautiful couple,” Ilinia said. She flicked her tongue out at Ranger X, the motion suggestive and grotesque all in one. “He’s even worse than you. Ask him about it, won’t you? He knows it, yes, yes, yes he does. It’s written on his face. Ask about his secrets, Lily.”
Ranger X hauled me from the room without another word.
We passed Gus on the way out of the tunnel. “Get rid of the candle idea,” I told him. “Make it a torch. A bonfire. Burn her cell down with the potion, for all I care.”
“You don’t mean that,” Gus said. “Lily!”
“Not now, Gus,” Ranger X said. “Do as she says. If she wants a torch, give her a torch.”
“Where are we going?” I stumbled before Ranger X, a flurry of emotions blurring my view. “You’re hurt! You need to be at the infirmary.”
“Not until we talk.”
“But—”
“When we were tied up, you said we could argue later.” He didn’t stop moving. “Well? I’m ready to argue.”
CHAPTER 40
We emerged between two trees somewhere near the edge of The Forest.
“Where are we going?” I asked. Ranger X had remained silent on our journey out of Ranger HQ. Speaking only when necessary, his sentences were short and clipped. “I need to get back to the bungalow.”
“I’m taking you home with me.”
I walked in silence while Ranger X fumed ahead of me. His normal movements were that of a panther—smooth, silent, controlled. Now, he moved like a bear, swinging his arms and punishing the ground with every step. A blaze burned in his eyes that’d never been there before.
“What did she mean back there?” I nearly had to jog to keep pace with him. “You should slow down. Your shoulder. . . ”
It was bandaged where he’d been shot. “I’m fine. I was released from the hospital.”
“Were you released, or did you sneak out?”
“I didn’t sneak.”
“Oh, even better. You terrified the doctor into letting you go.” I reached for his hand. When my fingers encircled his wrist, he stopped walking. “What was she talking about back there?”
“What does it matter? Is it going to change what you think of me?” His words were biting, but I could see the fury in his eyes. It wasn’t him. It wasn’t my X.
“No, it won’t change anything! But it’s got you upset, and I want to understand why.”
“I’m sorry,” he said finally, studying me with a long gaze. He shifted his weight from one foot to the next.
“She hit a nerve.” I shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant. In reality, I was surprised by his reaction. I’d never seen anyone affect X like Ilinia just had. “She got to me too. I mean, you had to carry me out of there! But if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine.”
“I do, I will.”
“Actually—” I raised a finger and pressed it to his lips “—wait.”
Confusion flashed through his eyes. “You just asked—”
“I know what I asked.” Cupping the side of his face with my hand, I continued. “But before you explain what she meant, I need to tell you something.”
“Before you’ve heard what I have to say?”
I narrowed my gaze at him. “I told you whatever Ilinia referenced won’t change how I feel about you. Trust me, X, please.”
“You don’t know what I’m capable of.”
“But I know you, and that’s far more important.”
He closed his eyes, his lips softening from their frown. Suddenly he’d turned innocent, childlike almost, with his face tipped into my palm.
“The Core,” I said. “It’s a secret society. Hettie leads it. My grandfather started it, and then passed control along to his wife before he died. Now it’s just Hettie, Harpin, Gus, Ainsley, and me. That’s where I’ve been sneaking off to these last few weeks.”
Ranger X had frozen, his hand pressing mine to his face.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you sooner, but Hettie swore me to secrecy. I’ve hated to keep this from you, and eventually I told Hettie enough was enough. That if she wanted me to remain a part of the group, she had to invite you into it, as well.”
“You stood up to your grandmother?”
“I did what I had to do.” I hesitated. “My grandfather started The Core to fight back against The Faction. Now, it’s our turn to help keep the island safe, and nobody cares more about The Isle than you.”
Ranger X took my hand, lightly kissed the outside of it. “I know.”
“Know. . . what?”
“I know about The Core.”
“What?”
“I didn’t know what you called yourselves, nor did I know the names of the members. But as Rangers, we are everywhere. I knew something was going on, and I took a guess. I’m not surprised, Lily.”
I shook my head. “You knew this whole time?”
“It doesn’t change anything. I still want you to be careful. Everything I said stands—I don’t want you running around in the middle of the night, and I want you to talk to me. To trust me with any of your secrets. That is why I must decline.”
“Decline the invitation?”
“Yes.”
“What?” I took a step back. “I thought. . . I thought this is what you wanted. To be a part of it with me. I stood up to Hettie for you.”
“Lily, please—”
“I don’t understand.”
“Please.” He spoke softly. “I never wanted to be a part of The Core. Hettie kept it a secret from me for a reason, didn’t she? Because our priorities are different.”
“That’s what she claimed.”
“Well, she’s right.” His eyes washed over my face, full of warmth, a gentle expression. “My loyalties lie to the Ranger program and I cannot do anything to compromise that. Ever. That’s the life path I’ve chosen. Lily, when I asked where you were going, I wanted to keep you safe. I’ve never wanted to control you or to invade every aspect of your life.”
“You’re not invading anything.”
“You’re the Mixologist, Lily. You protect this island on a whole different level than I do. I will never pretend to understand what you do, or how you do it. I want to protect the island as a Ranger. I want to love you, and to be a part of your life. That is all. I’ll support you, collaborate with you and The Core whenever possible. I’m sorry, but I cannot join you.”
“You’ll collaborate with us?”
“Of course.” He pulled my hands toward his chest, bringing us inches apart. “All you have to do is ask. And talk to me. Tell me what’s happening. You’re right that the safety of the island is my top priority. The Rangers and The Core have overlapping goals, and we’ll be stronger working together. That doesn’t mean I need to join.”
I swallowed, blinking back a few unshed tears. “I’m sorry about keeping secrets.”
“Sometimes, it’s necessary.” A shadow flickered over his eyes.
“She said I’ll be back.” I blurted the words out, the tears that hadn’t fallen now stinging against my eyelids. “She told me that I’ve tasted power, and that the scent doesn’t go away. When I was using mind bending back there, when I used it on you. . . ” I dragged my expression up to meet his. “I know what she means, X. I liked it. I liked knowing that Ilinia was mine, that I had the control.”
X didn’t say anything.
“When a person uses blood magic, they give a piece of their soul to the other person,” I said. “She told me that I’d always be different. That I wouldn’t be able to say ‘no’ to the feeling. What if. . . ” I shook my head, taking a second to breathe. “What if I become her?”
X leaned close, his lips inches from mine. “You’ll never become her. The darkness inside of her is a choice, Lily. She chose that route. Nobody forced her down it—she didn’t taste the power and fall into it, she decided to go after it. You’ll never do that.”
<
br /> “How do you know?”
“Every person has dark and light inside of us.” X’s voice rumbled softly through the night. “Every day we make decisions about which side to follow. Ilinia picked darkness far more than she picked light. You’re not like her.”
“I don’t know.” My hands shook in my lap. “I always thought so, too. But in that moment, it’s like I lost myself. I didn’t know who I was or what I was doing, but I liked it. I liked the control.” I raised my gaze to face Ranger X. “I’m scared, Cannon. I’m scared of myself.”
“Me, too.”
His words took me by surprise. “You’re scared of me?”
He shook his head. “Of myself. The mind is a dangerous thing, Lily Locke. I know that more than anyone else. Let me explain what Ilinia meant back there.”
“You don’t have to tell me.” I rose up on my tiptoes and kissed his lips. “You can leave some things unsaid. I trust you.”
“All Rangers have a Uniqueness, as you know.”
“Yes.”
“I’ve never told you mine.”
My heart pounded as X led me to a fallen log and perched me on the edge of it. He sat next to me. “X, you don’t have to—”
“I hurt somebody once, I hurt them badly,” X said. “I didn’t mean to do it. I didn’t feel like I had control. It’s when—and why—I left my home.”
“Oh, X.”
“There was a break-in at our house one night. It was me, my mother, my father, and my brother. My brother was away for the weekend, or so I thought. The window to our shared bedroom opened, and I sat up in bed and attacked the intruder.”
My heart ached as I anticipated his next words.
“It wasn’t until it was too late that I realized it was my brother. He’d forgotten something and didn’t want to wake our parents, so he snuck in through our window.” X took a rattling breath. “He spent two months in the hospital recovering. He’s alive, but for two months, I had to watch my brother—my own blood—breathe through tubes because of me. I bring this up because you asked me if you’d be different now that you’ve used blood magic.”
I gave a tentative nod.
“When you healed me using mind bending, you gifted me a piece of your soul.” X leaned in, his words brushing against my cheek. “And now you’ll always be a part of me. There is nothing dark about that, Lily.” He pressed my hand to his chest. “We’ll always be connected, and I promise to protect that piece of you until the day I die.”
Tears slid down my cheeks. He’d turned my worries, my horrible fears into something so good, so sweet, I couldn’t speak. “Thank you.”
“No, thank you.” He leaned in and kissed the wetness on my cheeks.
“But what about the part of myself I gave to Ilinia?”
Ranger X looked to the ground. “You gave her a piece of something good.”
The tears kept coming, and he kept holding me, rocking me, and then the tears came harder. I cried and I cried until my chest felt like it was crushed, until my breath came in ragged gulps and my very spirit tired.
Only then did Ranger X sit back, a contemplative look on his face. He watched me cry for another minute before he raised his hand and held it before him. His eyes turned blacker than coal, his focus entirely on me.
My tears stopped. I watched him as something else took over. A force inside him, a concentration so thorough he seemed to be in another world entirely.
Then it happened. One by one, the tears left my cheeks. He moved his fingers like a musician, hand-selecting which notes to play and in doing so, he dried my face. The tears hung, suspended as individual water droplets, in the palm of his hand.
I gaped, watching as he moved his open palm before his lips. He waited until he was sure my attention was on him, and then he moved his fingers until the water combined to form the shape of a flower. A lily made from nothing but tears. He held it there, glistening under the stars.
And then he closed his eyes and blew. The teardrops sailed through the air and drifted like orphan balloons cut free from their ties.
My eyes followed them until the water had disappeared from sight, fading into the blackness of night. When I turned my attention back to Ranger X, his eyes were fixed on me.
“You call it telekinesis on the mainland,” he said. “I have the power to move objects with my mind.”
“That is your Uniqueness?”
He nodded.
“That’s how you hurt your brother,” I said. “He climbed through the window and—”
“And I reacted. I didn’t have control over my power then. I was too young, too stupid, too reckless to be trusted with such responsibility. It’s a rare trait. Very, very rare.”
“It’s like mind bending,” I said. “You are as powerful as Ilinia.”
“I could be.”
“But you choose not to be.”
“After I injured my brother, I never used my power again,” X said. “I was recruited to the Rangers and I joined under one condition—my Uniqueness would remain a secret. And unless utterly necessary, I wouldn’t have to use it.”
“And you haven’t until now?” I asked. “Why now?”
Ranger X blew out a long breath. “When I use this power, it makes me weak. I’m at my strongest, but I’m also at my most vulnerable. It takes all of my energy to maintain concentration, and if someone were to catch me off guard while I focused, I’d be unable to defend myself.”
“That doesn’t explain why you showed it to me.”
“Because you needed to know. You are a part of me now—in many ways.” Ranger X brushed a kiss against my cheek. “You know my name, you’ve seen me at my most vulnerable. You have the power to cripple me unlike anyone else, Lily Locke. I never trusted anyone until I met you.”
“I’d never abuse it.”
“I know.”
I couldn’t resist asking, “And your family?”
“Still living. I ensure their safety, but our ties are cut.”
“They don’t know you look after them.” I read between the lines to the things he didn’t say. “You chose to cut ties.”
“It’s for their safety.”
“But—”
“It’s late and we’re exhausted. Stay with me tonight.”
I swallowed, took his hand, and followed as he led me to his house in the woods. As we crossed under the darkened sky, the rain started. Individual, tiny drops, as if the very sky itself had begun to cry.
CHAPTER 41
It was early, still dark the next morning when I made my way back to the bungalow. The first fingers of morning light stretched from the depths of the horizon.
As much as I’d wanted to stay at X’s and lie around all day, I had work to do, people to talk to, potions to create. The island would be abuzz today, which meant that I needed to be at the bungalow where I belonged.
To my surprise, the bungalow wasn’t empty.
“Liam?” I approached the front steps, quickening my pace. “What are you doing here?”
He sat dressed in his normal business attire, his posture rigid, a stoic expression masking any real emotion. Only a briefcase and a hat rested on the stairs next to him. “I’ve come to say goodbye.”
“What? Where are you going?”
“I must go away for some time.” He rose to his feet, the only sign of distress his lightly ruffled hair. “I’m sure you understand. After all of this. . . ”
“None of this was your fault. You did the best you could, and—”
“I’ll be back, don’t worry.”
“Wait!” I reached out as he took a step past me. “Answer me one thing.”
He turned, his gaze searching. “Yes?”
“You told me that. . . well, you had a vested interested in my safety. Why?”
A shadow of a smile crossed his lips. “Another day, Miss Locke.”
“But—”
“Goodbye.” He leaned in, pecked me on the cheek with a chaste kiss. “Until next time.”
/> And then he was gone.
I stared after him for a long while. He headed toward the dock, but I lost sight of him somewhere along the way. Eventually, I pulled myself into the bungalow and opened the storeroom. Gus joined me shortly after, and the day began as if Liam had never arrived.
Hours passed, and I nearly forgot about the Liam incident as the minutes ticked by. Gus and I had been particularly busy serving breakfast, drinks, and minor potions all morning, so when X strode into the room, I was surprised to see it was almost lunchtime.
“Hey,” I said, greeting him with a kiss. “How are you?”
To my surprise, he pulled me into the staircase leading up to my bedroom. “No,” he said when I continued walking. “Stay here—I don’t have a lot of time.”
“Why not?” I traced my steps backward until we were standing eye to eye. “Are you leaving, too?”
“Too?”
I sighed, and then told him about Liam. When I finished, he simply nodded.
“I need to leave. The note you found in Dillan’s pocket. . . I believe I’ve solved it.”
“Solved what?”
“It’s a code.”
“So it wasn’t from his mother?”
“It is from her. . . If I’m correct, it will point us in the direction of The Faction. I must depart today.”
“I’m coming with you.”
“No.”
“But—”
“I’m bringing the Ranger Candidates.” X gave me a level gaze. “They need this after everything that’s happened.”
I exhaled. Ranger X had cancelled the rest of the Trials, but I wondered if this wasn’t his way of issuing one last test. “Will Zin be going?”
He gave his first genuine smile of the day. “She was the first to volunteer.”
“Well. . . ” I shrugged. His mind was made up, and there was nothing I could do about it. “Be safe. When will you return?”
“When the job is finished.” He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine with an intensity that told me this trip wouldn’t be easy. “Be careful. Poppy will stay with you while I’m gone. I don’t know if I’ll be able to receive communications where I’m going.”