Paper Dolls [Book Five]

by Blythe Stone

  My heart seized and my eyes were drawn to the long strokes of the pen. It was from Ben. I dropped my hand and didn’t look at the words. This was insane. Why would he write her? I walked toward the pool again and sat down in one of the lounges with no idea if I should read this or not.

  I knew I was going to. Not knowing would kill me. I raised the letter and started to read. I brought my other hand to my lips as I delved into it. By the end I felt sick. I turned the paper over and looked for anything else but there was nothing.

  It was sinking in and I was slowly pitching to the other side of freaking out. I crumpled the letter in my hand and tossed it away. My skin felt dirty. He had touched that page. He dared to send Olivia those words and sentiments.

  What he said about me wasn’t new information. Those were things he said to my face but he’d never told me that he dreamed of Olivia. I leaned to the side, retching into the bushes and then dry heaved until I was forced to get off the lounge and fall to my knees.

  He was touching me in my safe space. This was supposed to be a place that he couldn’t reach. I was protected here but he had sent himself into our lives again in the form of poison words. I wavered between getting up and staying on the ground. I felt more sickness rolling with every recitation of that letter in my mind.

  I pushed myself up, grabbing the paper as I went. I couldn’t leave it out for anyone to find. I stumbled a little as I went on, unsteady in my steps. I made it to the door and then to the bedroom and then all the way into the closet where I collapsed next to the wall and curled into a ball.

  Before I knew what was happening I was crying. A piece of fabric was hitting my head, swinging back and forth from being disturbed. I yanked at it and it came loose from the hanger with a clatter and fell into my hands. It was one of Olivia’s dresses. I pressed it to my face and smelled the combination of fresh laundry and Olivia.

  My tears flowed down, wetting the fabric, and making me cry even harder. Not even her smell was enough to chase that letter away. It sat at my feet again, a physical reminder of the invasion.

  I had no idea how long I was there but I couldn’t move. I was frozen in this strange form of catatonia, staring at the paper to make sure it didn’t move. I didn’t blink much, but I rocked a little until I got tired. My face was hot from where I kept pressing the dress to my face.

  I heard something in the distance and my head snapped up. What if it was him? No, no… I stopped myself from being crazy and I stood up, sweeping the letter off of the floor and cramming it into my fist. It burned my skin.

  I walked out of the closet, ready to run if there was a threat.

  “Avery?”

  I sighed and fell back against the wall. It was Olivia. I gulped down air and forced myself to go to her. She was going to make it okay. I didn’t say anything when I saw her but fresh tears streamed down my face and I ran to her, pulling her into a hug.

  Anything could have happened to her out there and I was just happy to have her with me. She was home. We were safe. Except we weren’t. The paper was still in my hand. I wanted to drop it but she would notice.

  “Sorry, I’m just so… Glad you’re home and safe.”

  “Hey,” she said, touching me lovingly. “Hey, what’s wrong?” She asked, seeing me.

  I had to show her but I didn’t want to because she shouldn’t have to see it. I didn’t want her to have to go through all the things that she would if she saw the words. They confirmed everything that I’d told her.

  “I shouldn’t have opened it but I did.”

  I pulled back and took her hand, releasing the paper into her hand and letting her have it.

  “What?” She looked down.

  “He wrote you back. Ben.”

  “Oh,” she said. It was more an exhale than a word. She walked to the bed and sat down.

  “And you read it?” She asked, looking up at me already laced with fresh dread.

  “Yes,” I whispered. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t my letter but I had to know.” I went to the bed and sat with her, unwilling to let her get too far away from me.

  “Are you mad at me for writing him?” She pursed her lips and looked up at me sheepishly.

  “No, I’m not mad. I just don’t want you to have to read it.”

  “I-I don’t have to read this, you know. If you don’t want me to I’ll burn it, I will,” she said.

  “Baby, it’s your letter. If you can live with burning it then do it. If you need to know what it says then read it. Just know you won’t be ready to get that information.”

  “You’ve read it… Now I have to,” she said, looking down at it, all frightened and strange.

  “You don’t have to do anything but what you want to do.”

  I knew she would read it. I’d known it since the moment I put it in her hand but she needed the option to not read it. She uncrumpled the page so slowly and I watched her hands move carefully so that it was as smooth as possible.

  This wasn’t going to be okay.

  To Be Continued…

  End Note:

  Thanks for coming on this journey with us. Trying to edit has been difficult. If for some reason this is the first edition of this book you are reading, just know that this is part of series. You can read all of the books on Amazon.com. We have also started making podcasts mainly about gay content. Feel free to check us out on Soundcloud. Our podcast name is: Flungoutofspace.

  Book six will pick up right after this cliffhanger. There will also be a bachelorette party leading up to the wedding and lots of stress as the date for the trial is moved up.

  If you like what you read you can always donate to our writing and creative projects by visiting paperdollsbooks.com.

  Reviews and comments are greatly appreciated.

  Thank you!

  <3 Blythe & Emma