Jacob leaned forward as best he could. “I know enough to infiltrate your army, to gain your loyalty, to guard your most precious possession and take your girl from under your nose. Don’t underestimate the rebels.”
Azor gritted his teeth. “And it’s all worked in my favor, Jacob,” he said, mockingly. “You’ve lusted after my princess for nothing. I’ll be crowned king Friday and Queen Tatiana will proudly swim at my side. Once you’re dead, the promise will return to me and she’ll become enslaved to my wants again, and do anything and everything I say.”
“Like she did before?” Jacob said with an ironical tone. “She’s too smart for that and has figured out a way to break the bond, Azor, and you know it.”
“There’s no such thing.” Azor laughed, his voice echoing off the cave walls. “Your kiss has muddied her mind, that’s all. It’s only temporary.”
“She didn’t need my kiss to break it. But then again, I don’t even think you had a soul to give.” Jacob landed him a hard smile.
Azor’s face reddened. “Tatiana was mine and you stole her from me.”
“Think what you want, but your chance with her is over and she’ll never be yours.”
Azor’s nostrils flared. “Don’t lie, Jacob. You stole her kiss and my guards saw you do it. And for that, you’ll be executed, next to your brother, Jax, in the square. We’ll purge your family’s blood from our colony once and for all.”
“That doesn’t solve anything.” Jacob chuckled. “She will still own her soul, even if you kiss her again, and she’ll hate you even more if you take my life.”
“Believe what you want; I know the truth. She’s mine,” he said while spinning on his fin. “And I always get what I want.”
With a plunge underwater, Azor disappeared.
33
: : :
Pact
At the sound of metal scuffing against stone, Tatiana opened her eyes with a jolt.
Xirene stood in her doorway, her belly impairing her ability to straighten quickly. They briefly made eye contact before she moved out of sight.
“Xirene,” Tatiana called out to the soft, slow footfalls leading away from her door. “Please, I want to talk to you.”
Silence lingered. Only the occasional laugh from a guard broke the quiet.
The smells of the food on the tray distracted her, whetting her appetite: two flaky croissants, fresh berry jam, a cup of strawberries and a poached egg. She walked slowly to investigate, leery of what drugs might be lurking inside.
As of yet, she’d remained strong and hadn’t eaten anything. And like clockwork, in spite of Tatiana’s stubbornness, Xirene took away the untouched tray and delivered another for each meal since she’d arrived two days ago. The bedpan, embarrassingly enough, she had used, which someone faithfully emptied and cleaned.
She slumped down before the tray with her legs folded under her, and took a small sip of water and waited, testing to see if she felt woozy. Unable to control herself, she added a miniscule bite of the croissant along with it. The bread, flaky and buttery, slid down her throat easily, breaking her dam of self-control. With feral bites, she engulfed every speck of food and licked the plate clean.
With a burp, she leaned back and waited for the drugs to set in. Nothing happened.
Hearing heavier footsteps, Tatiana’s heart lurched, and she stood, expecting Azor.
“Princess,” Chauncey said with a wolfish grin. “How wonderful to see you again.”
Tatiana gave him a frosty glare and moved backward, pretending to busy herself with a book.
“What? Nothing to say to your rescuer? I’d be nicer to your potential bodyguard if I were you.”
“Bodyguard?” She spat, remembering Azor’s commitment she’d see Jacob if she cooperated. “As if.”
“The job is still open, but then again, after what’s been told you like to do with your bodyguards, I assume it won’t be open for long.” His eyes roved over her, making no subtlety at what he’d like to do if the bars weren’t in place.
Tatiana crossed her arms. “You aren’t qualified.”
He finally looked at her eyes, amused. “As head of the Dradux, my duties extend much further than your safety. And today, I’m to supervise your bath before I escort you to the palace. Azor wants you fresh and not stinking like a caged fish.”
Tatiana glowered. “You’ve blurred your job titles, Chauncey. You are a pathetic substitute for a handmaiden. But I’m sorry to say, you’ve come for nothing.” Tatiana smelled her armpit and smiled. “I’ve already washed and smell fresh as a rose. Do you even know what a rose is?”
Chauncey’s smile drooped. “You must change, at least. You’ve worn that tired thing for three days now.”
“Oh, Chauncey. You must think I’m stupid,” she said. “Prince Azor would never approve of me undressing in your presence. Now go, and send Nicole, my true handmaiden.”
“You haven’t heard?” Chauncey lifted his brow, curious. “She’s dead, Princess. Killed when the rebels attacked the compound.”
“What?”
“Oh, I guess you haven’t heard then. Too bad.” He laughed, disappearing out of view. “I’ll see who I can find.”
Tatiana’s legs wobbled. Dead? She moved to her desk, grasping onto the tabletop for support, her breath coming out too quick.
“Milady?” Xirene said from the doorway. “Are you alright?”
“I’m…”
Xirene put down her rag and a bowl filled with water, fumbling with the silver key tied on a ribbon around her neck. She padded over, waddling with her belly and maimed foot, and placed her hand on Tatiana’s shoulder.
Their eyes met; a look of pity crossed between them.
“I just heard about Nicole,” Tatiana said in defeat.
“Oh.” Xirene’s eyes hit the floor. “She pretended to be you, I heard. She was very brave.”
Tatiana bit back her tears, amazed this was happening. All around her was grief and strife, war and death. And now birth. Why, of all mers, did Nicole have to be the one who died?
She couldn’t hate or blame Xirene for their predicament, both of them stranded in Azor’s riptide of power. The only difference was he loved Xirene—something that would keep her alive and useful to him. Tatiana nor Jacob, on the other hand, would have that same security once Azor was crowned king.
After they’d secured a sheet over the doorway, Xirene removed her gloves and started Tatiana’s sponge bath. The warm water felt refreshing on her skin, but her conscience ached to make things right between them.
“I’m sorry,” Tatiana whispered while Xirene held up her hair and soaped her back. “I didn’t mean to be so cruel to you at the compound.”
Xirene blew out a nervous sigh. “How were you to know?”
“That’s not me.” She drew her arms into her body. “The promise messed with my head and—”
“I wasn’t any better toward you.” Xirene stopped scrubbing once she reached Tatiana’s waist, and dropped the sponge into the bowl with a splash.
Tatiana’s eyes slipped shut. Though she could understand Xirene’s position, never being allowed to show her love for anyone and honored to garner a promise from the Prince, she was still angry at the horrible things Xirene had said, and did behind her back. What she didn’t understand was if they were promised, why was she so surprised to see Tatiana in her promising gown the night they’d met. Hadn’t she known what Azor had planned? Even with having a honey on the side, he’d pursued Tatiana—right up until the ceremony. Did she steal his kiss?
After Xirene rinsed her off and placed a fluffy towel over her shoulders, Tatiana turned to search her eyes. “Is it true? Did Azor only kiss me out of revenge and plan to murder me?”
Xirene’s gaze darted fearfully to her stomach. She held onto her unborn merling, as if for dear life. “I don’t know when his plans changed,” she stated simply. “All I know is I can’t be the queen.”
Tatiana pulled away, drying herself off and wrapp
ing up in a robe. “And because you love him, you’re okay with that?”
“No.” She swallowed, her voice hoarse. “You may think I’m running a brothel at the compound, but I’m not. I wasn’t one of those servants who swam around topless to please every guard who’d look. Azor pursued me and for the most part, I resisted his charms. Well, I tried to. And once we were together and found I was sterile, I became his lover, secretly of course. Considering my station, I graciously accepted.
“But Azor still wasn’t happy. All he talked about was being king and having an heir, something I didn’t think my body was capable of providing. So I knew another woman would come eventually… But when I discovered I was expecting, he was overjoyed and…”—she looked down and touched her lips—“kissed me. After that, I believed I would be his, that he’d chosen me. But he followed through with the ceremony anyway… and though he swore nothing would change, I knew my position.”
Tatiana recalled the conversation outside her door, his promise to her that nothing had changed, that he had a plan. She sighed. “Azor should have just chosen you to be his princess, regardless of your position.”
Fire lit Xirene’s eyes. She swiveled around, pulling up her dress. “How? Do you see the royal mark on my hip?” she snarled. “He barely touches you and it shows right away, ‘cause you’re perfect and I’m… I’m a servant.”
Tatiana sucked in a gasp, cupping her hand to her mouth, shocked at her abrupt response. Why didn’t she have the mark? “There has to be an explanation.”
Xirene laughed scornfully. “Yeah, right. I should have known you’d say that.” A tear slipped down Xirene’s cheek. “The fact is I don’t deserve him and I should have never allowed… ”
Tatiana looked into her dark sorrowful eyes, at the pleading hidden within them. “I don’t think the mark should matter.”
Xirene kept a stiff upper lip. “I don’t make the rules and now you’re to be my merling’s mother.”
“I don’t like this anymore than you do.” Tatiana’s stomach burned.
Xirene stumbled over to the chair, clutching her belly, and took a seat. “Azor is not entirely to blame. He made a horrible decision in a time of battle and now he wishes to make things right. We all make sacrifices for the betterment of the kingdom. If you pretend, you’ll still get the man you want, and the title, and your freedom.”
“I am far from free, Xirene,” she said with a glower, gesturing to the bars on her door.
“But you’re about to be.” She circled her hand in the air. “As queen you’ll have whatever you want at your fingertips. Power. Love from your people. Respect of the king.”
“But Azor loves you.”
“And yet he still kissed you.” Xirene laughed. “Don’t you see? The truth is I embarrass him, and this is the only way he can truly have what he wants. A beautiful queen by his side, a lover in his bed, and a child to spoil.”
Tatiana lowered her head, grieved. Xirene believed she was the root of Azor’s unhappiness. That if she looked like Tatiana, Azor would finally truly love her. But Tatiana knew that even with the crown, Azor wouldn’t be happy. Something else would consume him later.
Xirene grimaced. “But that doesn’t matter anymore. I must trust you, now. Trust you’ll treat my merling as your own, My Queen.” She dipped into a curtsy.
“No.” She pulled on Xirene’s arm, wishing for a way to knock sense into Azor and have Xirene take her rightful place as Azor’s chosen. “You should be queen.”
Her eyes dropped. “Right. A queen with a gimpy fin and no royal mark.”
“There’s no law that says Azor can’t choose you. Your worth isn’t based on a mark, or a birth defect. Maybe we could fake it. Tattoo you with a fleur-de-lis. Technically, you are the princess and about to give birth to a royal heir. It is I who should be bowing to you and giving you a sponge bath.” Tatiana fell to one knee.
“No. Stop.” Xirene tugged on her arm. “Please. I don’t want anyone to know and it’s too late. The kingdom will just think me a harlot, now. I just want my son or daughter to be taken care of. Not live an orphan’s life.”
Tatiana closed her eyes, feeling the weight of everything, of her lot in life, of the people’s prejudice. She was right. The people would never accept the relationship now that he’d kissed Tatiana. Azor had allowed his thirst for revenge to get in the way of his happiness, of love, of peace. Tatiana outstretched her hand to Xirene, clasping her hand around her fingers. They were at each other’s mercies, now.
“I have no idea how we’re going to pull this off, but I’ll adopt your child as my own,” Tatiana whispered.
Xirene’s shoulders sagged. She nodded with tear-filled eyes, kissing the back of her hand. “Thank you, Princess.”
They embraced and the strife between them melted away. “Of course.”
“I’ll try to find out where Azor is holding Jacob, but in the meantime… I made you a belly.”
Tatiana sighed, her heart rocking at the mention of Jacob’s name. She remained focused on the iridescent blob in Xirene’s hands, marveling at how smooth and natural the outside felt.
“Here, let’s try it on.” Xirene motioned she turn and fastened the stomach to her waist.
She kneaded at the spongy material in awe. “What is this?”
“I’d rather not tell you, but I thought it would be easier to wear than that stinging thing he brought you.”
She smiled, but on the inside wanted to scream. How was she to pull this off now? With Jacob, Xirene and the baby, and the rebels. There were no easy answers
34
: : :
Submission
Jacob barely had the strength to flip his tail again, torturing himself with yet another spray of miniscule droplets of water on his parched scales. He leaned over and licked the wet wall, dying of thirst.
“Azor!” he bellowed.
At the silence, he slumped against the chains, helpless. Was this how things would end? He recalled the day when he first laid eyes on Tatiana, through the door leading to the coronation room. So beautiful in her white promising gown, decorated head-to-fin in jewels, blonde hair shining. But she swayed like seaweed, half-lidded on King Phaleon’s arm. Anger had sped through him once he figured they’d drugged her. Their attempts to make her compliant had been an abomination, such cruelty.
From what he’d heard about her from Jack during the mission, he couldn’t help but fall for her. Her spunk, her fire, her zest for life and an attitude to go with it. Jack had feared the entire time he was away that in his absence his daughter would lose her choice. She abhorred Azor. And though Jacob knew Jack wouldn’t allow his famous land-walking twins to be promised this way, waiting for his signal had been torture. He’d gripped his trident, his hood over his head, muscles poised, ready.
He thought he’d be the hero that day. Save her. But in the tumult, Jacob watched in horror, as Azor stole what wasn’t his to take.
But now, knowing she’d broken free of Azor, he knew what he’d dreamt of all the days he’d heard Jack’s stories. What he desired most: her free will. That she’d choose him. Want him above all. To rise above and fight the chemicals warring within her body. To be stronger than the kiss.
But now? To be rewarded like this? He’d helped the girl of his dreams free herself from her promise, then die? Allowing Azor to still win? How was that fair? How was that right?
Then he thought of his mother, a beta-mer and a Christian, who never prayed to Poseidon like the rest of the mer. Instead of placing hope on Poseidon, God of the Sea, she said her God had a plan, to trust in Him, to choose to do the right thing and let Him do the rest. Jacob only placated her beliefs, thinking her cross and prayers useless. He believed in a god, yes, but he didn’t think that her God really cared; too far away to actually see the gritty details of all the people on the planet; too busy to be bothered. And who would want to beg help from Him? Jacob didn’t need God anyway. He created his own fate, he could choose to do what was right on his
own, he was a good person, he’d always landed upright… until now. He didn’t deserve this. He’d sacrificed everything to protect the woman he loved, to bring healing and justice to his people, only to be abandoned and left to die.
“Why, God?” he called out through cracked lips. “What did I do?”
In exhaustion, his eyes rolled back into his head. He cursed God’s plan and his mother’s stupid hope. But even when Jax was led away to Bone Island for an unknown crime, she still had faith. And Jax had lived. Why would his brother, who’d only indulged his selfish desires his entire life get to live, and Jacob, faithful and loyal, be punished?
Deep down, in his heart he felt a tug. To let go. To let Him work.
“But I can’t,” he said softly, his soul still fighting. “I want to live.”
Jacob sighed. Chained to the wall, he didn’t have a choice. Time would take his life. He had to trust. If it was his time, there was nothing he could do about it. And if not, he’d need to wait.
Tatiana was no longer his charge. Someone else needed to protect her.
“I give her to you, then,” he whispered. “Protect and keep her. May your justice be done.”
And for the first time, peace filled his broken soul and understanding of what his mother was so passionate about suddenly made sense.
35
: : :
Pillow
Tatiana sat on the chair for what seemed like forever, dressed in a cream colored, full-length gown, hair pinned to perfection in beads and jewels. If it weren’t for the bulbous stomach protruding across her lap and the pungent smell of fish that soured her nose, she might have looked forward to the part she’d play at the palace.
But in all honestly, all she cared about was seeing Jacob. He’d be her guard again. He’d be by her side every step of the way. Then she could prove to him how strong she really was. She just had to control her excitement and not make it to painfully obvious she’d developed feelings for him. Then, she wished for Nicole. Sweet Nicole who’d lived such a short and tortured life.
Everlost (Mer Tales, Book 3) Page 22