Which was pretty much what I’d done almost every night so far.
I was on my way up to my room before I remembered I’d agreed to go out that evening. I checked the time and saw I’d less than half an hour before Paul was due to pick me up.
I sank down on to the bed with a groan. I felt less like company than ever. I was out of the habit of socializing, and the last thing I was in the mood for was making polite conversation with strangers. I was tempted to call Paul and make some excuse, except I couldn’t think of one. Besides, it would be churlish to turn down their hospitality.
Come on, Hunter, make an effort. God forbid you should enjoy yourself. Reluctantly, I pushed myself off the bed. There was just enough time for a shower if I hurried, so I stripped off my clothes and stepped into the cubicle, turning the jet on full. The scar on my stomach looked alien and strange, as if it wasn’t really a part of me. Even though the ugly line of pink flesh wasn’t tender any more, I still didn’t like touching it. In time I supposed I’d become used to its presence, but I wasn’t yet.
I turned my face up to the stinging spray, taking deep breaths of the steam-filled air to dispel the sudden rush of memory. The knife handle protruding from below my ribs, the hot, sticky feel of blood pooling around me on the black and white tiles… I shook my head like a dog, trying to cast out the unwanted images. I’d been lucky. Grace Strachan was one of the most beautiful women I’d ever known. She was also the most dangerous, responsible for the deaths of at least half a dozen people. If Jenny hadn’t found me in time I’d have added to that tally, and while I knew I should be grateful to be alive, I was finding it hard to put it behind me.
Especially since Grace was still out there.
The police had assured me that it was only a matter of time before she was found, that she was too unstable to remain free for long. But Grace had been a rich woman, consumed by a passion for vengeance that was as irrational as it was deadly. She wasn’t going to give herself away that easily. Nor was I her only target. She’d already tried to kill a young mother and daughter once, and only been prevented at the cost of another life. Since Grace’s attack on me, Ellen and Anna McLeod had been living under police protection and an assumed name. While they’d prove harder to track down than a forensic scientist who was listed in the phone book, the truth was that none of us would be safe until Grace was caught.
That wasn’t an easy thing to live with. Not when I bore the scars to remind me how close she’d come already.
I turned up the shower as hot as I could stand it, letting the water scald away the dark thoughts. Dripping wet, I towelled myself dry until my skin was stinging, then dressed and hurried downstairs. The hot shower made me feel better, but I still felt little enthusiasm as I went down to the hotel foyer. Paul was already there, scribbling intently in a small notepad as he waited on a sofa.
‘Sorry, have you been waiting long?’ I asked.
He stood up, tucking the notepad into a back pocket. ‘Only just got here. Sam’s in the car.’
He’d parked across the street. A pretty woman in her early thirties was waiting in the passenger seat. She had long, very blond hair and turned to face me as I slid into the back, her hands resting on her swollen stomach.
‘Hey, David, good to see you again.’
‘You too,’ I said, meaning it. There are some people you feel instantly at ease with, and Sam was one of them. We’d only met once, earlier that week, but it already seemed like I’d known her for years. ‘How are you feeling?’
‘Well, my back hurts, my feet ache, and you don’t even want to know about the rest. But other than that I can’t complain.’ She smiled to show she didn’t mean it. Sam was one of the lucky women who wear their pregnancy well. She fairly shone with health, and for all the discomfort it was obvious she was loving every moment.
‘Junior’s been playing up lately,’ Paul said, pulling out into the traffic. ‘I keep on telling Sam that’s a sure sign it’s a girl, but she won’t listen.’
Neither of them had wanted to know the sex of the baby. Sam had told me it would have spoiled the surprise. ‘Girls aren’t that boisterous. It’s a boy.’
‘Case of beer says you’re wrong.’
‘A case of beer? That’s the best you can do?’ She appealed to me. ‘David, what sort of bet is that for a pregnant woman?’
‘Sounds pretty shrewd to me. He gets to drink it even if he loses.’
‘Hey, you’re supposed to be on my side,’ Paul protested.
‘He’s got more sense,’ Sam said, swatting him.
I began to unwind as I listened to their banter. It felt good to see their happiness, and if I felt a tug of envy it was only a small one. When Paul pulled up into a parking space I was disappointed the short journey was over.
We were in the Old City, the one-time industrial heart of Knoxville. Some factories and warehouses still remained, but the area had undergone a genteel conversion, the industry giving way to bars, restaurants and apartments. Paul had parked a little way up the street from the steakhouse where everyone was meeting, an old brick building whose cavernous space was now filled with tables and live music. It was already busy, and we had to ease our way to a large group sitting by one of the windows. The half-empty beer glasses and laughter announced that they’d been there for some time, and for a second I faltered, wishing I’d not come.
Then space was found for me at the table, and it was too late. Introductions were made, but I forgot the names as soon as I heard them. Other than Paul and Sam, the only person I recognized was Alana, the forensic anthropologist who’d told me where to find Tom in the facility earlier. She was with a brawny man I guessed must be her husband, but the rest were either faculty members or students I didn’t know.
‘You’ve got to try the beer, David,’ Paul said, leaning round Sam to see me. ‘This place has its own microbrewery. It’s fantastic.’
I’d hardly touched alcohol in months, but I felt I needed something now. The beer was a dark brew served cold, and tasted wonderful. I drank half of it almost straight off, and set the glass down with a sigh.
‘You look like you needed that,’ Alana said from across the table. ‘One of those days, huh?’
‘Something like that,’ I agreed.
‘Had a few of those myself.’
She raised her glass in an ironic toast. I took another drink of beer, feeling myself begin to relax. The atmosphere around the table was informal and friendly, and I slipped easily into the conversations going on around me. When the food arrived I tore into it. I’d ordered steak and a green salad, and I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until then.
‘Having fun?’
Sam was grinning at me over the top of her glass of mineral water. I nodded, working to swallow a mouthful of steak.
‘Is it that obvious?’
‘Uh-huh. First time I’ve seen you look relaxed. You should try it more often.’
I laughed. ‘I’m not that bad, am I?’
‘Oh, just wound a little tight.’ Her smile was warm. ‘I know you came here to get some things straightened out. But there’s no law says you can’t enjoy yourself from time to time. You’re among friends, you know.’
I looked down, more affected than I wanted to admit. ‘I know. Thanks.’
She shifted in her seat and winced, putting her hand to her stomach.
‘Everything OK?’ I asked.
She gave a pained smile. ‘He’s a little restless.’
‘He?’
‘He,’ she said firmly, stealing a look across at Paul. ‘Definitely he.’
The plates were cleared away, desserts and more drinks ordered. I had coffee, knowing if I had another beer I’d regret it in the morning. I leaned back in my chair, savouring the slight buzz of well-being.
And then my good mood crashed around me.
From nowhere I caught a waft of musk, lightly spiced and unmistakable. A second later it had vanished, lost amongst the stronger odours of food and beer, but
I knew I hadn’t imagined it. Recognition ran through me like an electric shock. For an instant I was back on the tiled floor of my hallway, the metallic stink of blood blending with a more delicate, sensual scent.
Grace Strachan’s perfume.
She’s here. I bolted upright in my seat, frantically looking around. The restaurant was a confusion of sound and colour. I scanned the faces, desperately searching for a telltale feature, some flaw in a disguise. She must be here somewhere. Where is she?
‘Coffee?’
I stared blankly up at the waitress who’d appeared next to me.
She was in her late teens, a little overweight. Her perfume cut through the cooking and bar-room smells: a cheap musk, heavy and cloying. Up close, it was nothing like the subtle perfume that Grace Strachan used.
Just similar enough to fool me for a second.
‘You order coffee?’ the waitress prompted, giving me a wary look.
‘Sorry. Yes, thank you.’
She set it down and moved on. My arms and legs prickled, shivery with the aftermath of adrenaline. I realized my hand was clenched so tightly around its scar that it hurt. Idiot. As if Grace could have followed you… Awareness of how brittle my nerves were, even here, left a sour taste in my mouth. I tried to force myself to relax but my heart was still racing. All at once there didn’t seem to be enough air in the room. The noise and smells were unbearable.
‘David?’ Sam was looking at me with concern. ‘You’ve gone white as a sheet.’
‘I’m just a little tired. I’m going to head on back.’ I had to get outside. I started fumbling notes from my wallet, not seeing what they were.
‘Wait, we’ll drive you.’
‘No!’ I put my hand on her arm before she could turn to Paul. ‘Please. I’ll be fine, really.’
‘You sure?’
I made myself smile. ‘Certain.’
She wasn’t convinced, but I was already pushing my chair back, dropping a handful of notes on to the table without knowing if it was enough or not. Paul and the others were still busy talking, but I didn’t stop to see if anyone else noticed me leave. It was all I could do not to break into a run as I barged through the door into the street. I sucked in deep breaths of the cool spring air, but didn’t stop even then. I kept walking, not knowing or caring where I was heading, wanting only to keep moving.
I stepped off the kerb and jumped back as a horn blared deafeningly to my left. I stumbled back on to the pavement as a trolley car rattled past inches in front of me, its windows bright splashes of light in the darkness. As soon as it had passed I hurried across the road, taking turnings at random. It had been years since I’d been to Knoxville, and I had no idea of where I was and even less of where I was going.
I didn’t care.
It was only when I saw the stretch of blackness beyond the streetlights ahead of me that I finally slowed. I could feel the river even before I saw it, a moistness in the air that finally brought me back to myself. I was drenched in sweat as I leaned on the railings. The bridges that spanned the tree-lined banks were skeletal arches in the darkness, dotted with lights. Below them, the Tennessee River sedately idled past, just as it had for thousands of years. And probably would for thousands more.
What the hell’s wrong with you? Running scared just because of a cheap perfume. But I felt too wrung out to be ashamed. Feeling as alone as I ever had in my life, I took my phone out and scrolled through my contacts. Jenny’s name and number were highlighted on the illuminated display. I held my thumb poised over the dial key, badly wanting to talk to her again, to hear her voice. But it was the early hours of the morning back in the UK, and even if I called her, what would I say?
It had all been said already.
‘Got the time?’
I gave a start as the voice came from beside me. I was in an area of darkness between streetlights, and all I could make out of the man was the red glow of his cigarette. Belatedly, I realized that the street was deserted. Stupid. All this way just to get mugged.
‘Half past ten,’ I told him, tensing for the attack that would come next.
But he only gave a nod of thanks and walked on, disappearing into the dark beyond the next streetlight. I shivered, and not only because of the damp chill coming from the river.
The welcoming yellow lights of a taxi were approaching on the lonely street. Flagging it down, I went back to my hotel.
* * *
The cat is your earliest memory.
There must be others before it, you know that. But none so vivid. None that you take out and replay time after time. So real that even now you can still feel the sun on the back of your head, see your shadow on the ground in front of you as you bend over.
The soil is soft and easy to turn. You use a piece of wood broken off the fence, a piece of white picket starting to soften and rot. It threatens to break again, but you don’t have far to dig.
It isn’t deep.
You smell it first. A cloying, sweet stink that’s both familiar and like nothing you’ve smelled before. You stop for a while, sniffing the damp soil, nervous but more excited. You know you shouldn’t be doing this, but the curiosity is too great. Even then you had questions; so many questions. But no answers.
The wood hits something almost as soon as you continue digging. A different texture in the soil. You begin to scrape away the final covering of earth, noticing that the smell has grown stronger. Finally, you can see it: a cardboard shoebox, its sides soaked and rotting.
The box starts to disintegrate when you try to lift it, wet and sagging from the weight inside. You quickly set it down again. Your fingers feel clumsy and strange as you take hold of the lid, your chest tight. You’re scared, but excitement easily outweighs your fear.
Slowly, you remove the shoebox lid.
The cat is a dirty mound of ginger. Its half-closed eyes are pale and dull, like deflated balloons after a party. Insects are crawling in its fur, beetles scuttling from the daylight. You stare, rapt, as a fat worm coils and contracts, dripping from its ear. Taking the stick, you prod the cat. Nothing happens. You prod again, harder. Again, nothing. A word forms in your mind, one you’ve heard before, but never really comprehended until now.
Dead.
You remember the cat as it was. A fat, bad-tempered torn, a thing of spite and claws. Now it’s… nothing. How can the living animal you remember have become this rotting clump of fur? The question fills your head, too huge for you to hold. You lean closer, as though if you look hard enough you’ll find the answer…
…and suddenly you’re jerked away. The neighbour’s face is contorted with anger, but there’s also something there you don’t recognize. It’s only years later that you identify it as disgust.
‘What in God’s name are you…? Oh, you sick little bastard!’
There is more shouting, then and later, back at the house. You don’t try to explain what you did, because you don’t understand yourself. But neither the angry words nor the punishment wipe away the memory of what you saw. Or what you felt, and still feel even now, nestling in the pit of your stomach. An overwhelming sense of wonder, and of burning, insatiable curiosity.
You’re five years old. And this is how it starts.
CHAPTER 5
EVERYTHING SEEMED TO slow down as the knife came towards me. I grabbed for it, but I was always going to be too late. The blade slid through my grip, slicing my palm and fingers to the bone. I could feel the hot wetness of blood smearing my hand as my legs gave way under me. It pooled on the black and white floor tiles as I slid down the wall, soaking the front of my shirt.
I looked down and saw the knife handle protruding obscenely from my stomach and opened my mouth to scream…
‘No!’
I bolted upright, gasping. I could feel the blood on me, hot and wet. I thrashed off the sheets, frantically trying to see my stomach in the dim moonlight. But the skin was unmarked. There was no knife, no blood. Just a sheen of clammy sweat, and the angry welt of the
scar just under my ribs.
Christ. I sagged with relief, recognizing my hotel room, seeing I was alone in it.
Just a dream.
My heart rate was starting to return to normal, my pulse ebbing in my ears. I swung my legs off the edge of the bed and shakily sat up. The clock on the bedside cabinet said five thirty. The alarm was set for an hour’s time, but it wasn’t worth trying to sleep again, even if I’d wanted to.
I got up stiffly and switched on the light. I was beginning to regret agreeing to help Tom with the examination of the body from the cabin. A shower and breakfast. Things will look better then.
I spent fifteen minutes running through exercises to strengthen my abdominal muscles, then went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I turned my face up to the hot spray, letting the needles of water sluice away the lingering effects of the dream.
By the time I emerged, the last vestiges of sleep had been washed away. There was a coffeemaker in the room, so I set it going as I dressed and powered up my laptop. It would be late morning in the UK, and I sipped black coffee while I checked my emails. There was nothing urgent; I replied to the ones I needed to and left the rest for later.
The restaurant downstairs had opened for breakfast, but I was the only customer. I passed on the waffles and pancakes and opted for toast and scrambled eggs. I’d been hungry when I went in, but even that seemed too much for me, and I managed less than half. My stomach was knotted, though I didn’t know why it should be. I’d only be helping Tom with something I’d done myself countless times before, and in far worse circumstances than this.
But telling myself that didn’t make any difference.
By the time I went outside the sun was coming up. Although the car park was still in shadow, the deep blue of the sky was paling, shot through with dazzling gold on the horizon.
The hire car was a Ford, the subtle differences in style and automatic transmission a further reminder that I was in another country. Although it was still early, the roads were already busy. It was a beautiful morning. Built-up as Knoxville was, this part of East Tennessee was still lush and verdant. The spring sun hadn’t yet developed the shirt-sticking heat and humidity of high summer, and at this time of day the air held an early morning freshness, unsullied by traffic fumes.
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