by Jennie Adams
He stopped abruptly and ran his hand over the back of his head, frowned and then dropped his hand to his side. ‘It makes the most sense this way.’
‘And that’s perfectly fine. It looks the same as the work laid out in your office.’ She said it without inflection and was rewarded when his shoulders lost some of their tension.
‘Let me take that for you. I want to see it, too.’ He took her painting from her hands and propped it onto a lounge chair he turned to face them.
Then he stared at the work she’d done while she gave her explanation and the more she explained and he looked, the more he nodded and comprehension sparkled in his gaze.
He touched her for the first time in days, then. Pressed his fingers to her forearm as he smiled finally and turned her to look at the first of the materials spread across his floor. ‘I thought I’d handled the concept the right way. Now that I’ve seen your painting, I’m certain of it. We make—’
He didn’t complete the sentence, but Fiona looked at his work and knew what he’d been going to say.
They made a good team.
And they did. If only…
No. No if onlys. There was this, and it had to be enough. Fiona dropped to her knees on the floor to look at his drawings, the images he’d taken from books and arranged into a collage with notes between.
His entire vision was there, and her vision was there with it, the perfect complement to his work, and somehow that was just as intimate to her as anything that had passed between them.
She pored over his plans. That led to questions, lively discussion, and to her forgetting for a moment her other concerns as she immersed herself in the work, until finally she understood the entire concept—and was so impressed by his vision for it.
‘I’m glad you can see where I need to take this, that you saw the same potential I have.’ Brent held out his hand to draw her to her feet.
Fiona stifled a second set of if onlys and clasped his hand. She tried not to think of it as anything other than a courtesy to help her rise.
Her knees were all but numb and she glanced at the clock on his wall. ‘I didn’t notice so much time had passed. They’ll be wondering at work where on earth we both are.’
Brent’s fingers tightened around Fiona’s hand as he helped her to her feet. She’d been crawling around his floor, automatically respecting his need to have his plans laid out in that long straight line he hadn’t even thought about when he’d decided he needed her to come and look.
Had he really needed that so desperately this morning? Or had he needed this? He glanced down at their joined hands. This touch of her? This closeness to her? This reconnection through their work, through the emotions she took to her work and claimed he took to his work? He was starting to think maybe she was right about that, that he did, indeed, give parts of himself to his creative process that he otherwise tried to hold back elsewhere.
And here was Fiona, respecting his autism and the ways it affected him. And putting her whole heart out there as she always did, even while she tried to protect it.
He had to stay emotionally detached from her. He’d let down his guard enough with Fiona that he hadn’t considered what she’d think of the way he prepared his materials, of his obsession with the project overall. That knowledge unnerved him.
It also didn’t help him fight his growing attraction to her, and he didn’t know where to go with this. The consciousness of each other remained, a constant ripple of unspoken thoughts and responses between them. They were both doing their best to ignore it. He’d told her he was determined to ignore it, but his actions weren’t proving out those words right now.
He’d wanted to make love with her when they’d been away in the mountains. With Fiona it would definitely be too intimate and intense for him to be sure he could manage and control his responses.
And why was he thinking of making love with her anyway? That wasn’t something that could ever happen.
Brent’s lips tightened.
‘We should head into the office.’ He should probably not have asked her to come here, shouldn’t have spent so much time with her, utterly absorbed in this one project and oblivious to anything else in existence. Except Fiona herself, and that was even worse. ‘You’d probably like to get some other work done before the day disappears completely.’
‘I think you’re right.’ She dusted her hands over her knees and gathered her painting. Perhaps she realised belatedly, too, just how distracted they’d allowed themselves to become, how easily they’d fallen into an intimate rapport with each other.
Yet they had to work together and do that well. Where did that leave them? He couldn’t keep avoiding her the way he’d done in the past week. ‘Fiona—’
‘It’s good that we’re back on a better footing.’ Her smile was full of determined good cheer that didn’t quite erase the tinge of…sadness in her eyes? ‘After getting slightly…off course while we were away. Circumstances, surroundings, can put people in that place, but we’ve sorted ourselves out now, haven’t we?’
Right. And yet the attraction was still there between them. Still just as strong.
It would go away eventually as they both accepted what their roles with each other needed to be. Wouldn’t it? He should be grateful for her determination, not feel as though both of them were somehow being shortchanged in this.
‘I’ll head away now and see you when you get to the office.’ Fiona moved towards the door and Brent…let her.
This was best, after all.
His mobile phone rang then. It would have been easy to ignore it but he’d trained himself to always check the number in case either of his brothers needed him. Brent checked and quickly answered. ‘Linc. What’s up?’
‘There’s a warehouse fire. I saw it on the TV Cecilia had on in the staff area at the nursery just now.’ Tension edged his brother’s tone. ‘I couldn’t tell for sure, but it looked like Alex’s warehouse. The street and the location—I’m headed back to the city now, but it’s going to take time for me to get in.’
‘I’ll go straight there.’ Brent snatched his keys from the stand inside the front door and strode forward still talking. ‘You’ve tried to contact him?’
‘Yes, and I can’t get him either at the warehouse or on his mobile.’ Linc cursed. ‘Look, I have to end this call. There’s fog here this morning and I’ve already had one closer encounter with a kangaroo on the road than I would have liked. Even speaking on hands-free, I can’t afford to be distracted.’
‘Keep safe, Linc.’ They ended the call and Brent was out of the door before he realised Fiona was right on his heels, painting clutched in her hands.
‘What’s going on?’ she asked. ‘We’ll go down while you tell me.’
They hit the stairs at a ground-eating pace as he explained the situation. A ball of tension had lodged in his gut. ‘I have to find Alex. I have to make sure he’s safe.’
Nothing can happen to my brother.
The thought came to him uncensored, an outpouring of how much he needed Linc and Alex. Of how much he loved them both. They may not have been born of the same blood, but they were bonded in all the ways of family. There were two people in the world who hadn’t rejected him, condition and all, and who let him love them just as much, and Brent…needed them.
Fiona doesn’t want to care about your condition, either, and you know your hesitations go deeper than that.
Because, in the end, could Charles MacKay have rejected and abandoned Brent solely because Brent had what was for him a manageable condition that shouldn’t have mattered to a parent? That in fact should have made that parent care for him all the more?
Something deep inside Brent shifted as he absorbed this thought.
And Fiona’s history—her family not caring for her the way they should have? She was perfect…
‘Hurry, Brent. We have to make sure Alex is okay.’ Fiona climbed into the utility truck beside him and tossed her painting into the back with scant co
ncern for its care.
He hadn’t anticipated her company. Hadn’t taken the time to think about it at all. Now, he turned to her while his heart seemed to soften at the expression of concern on her face. And his fears for Alex came back full force, driving, for now, everything else out. ‘You don’t have to—’
‘Yes. I do.’ Fiona interrupted her boss without any compunction whatsoever. She had to be here with Brent, to be at his side while he located his brother. That was all there was to it. She couldn’t change what she needed. She wasn’t about to be denied this, either. So he could just get over that idea! ‘Drive, Brent.’
Brent drove, his hands gripped around the steering wheel.
There was such love for Alex in Brent’s focus, and Fiona couldn’t help but be moved by that.
Any time Brent was focused intently it seemed to come back to things that touched his emotions. Her boss might not want to admit that, but its truth spoke for itself. He was a man capable of deep feeling. This morning, for reasons she wasn’t sure she should try to define, Fiona needed to know that.
‘Alex caused me a few grey hairs when I first got him out of the orphanage. The moment he turned sixteen, he came to me. To me and Linc, but I was the eldest, and a bit better set up at that stage.’ His mouth turned up in wry remembrance. ‘Alex and his bags of attitude. He settled down, though. I’ve got used to things being easier the last few years. Financial security for all of us. Safety…’
Both those things would have been hugely important for three men who’d had little control over their destinies for many years. And they’d no doubt used their earliest resources to buy a home they could all share, so they could stick close.
Yes, they were a true example of how family should be and for Brent, at least, he’d built that new world over the top of some very unhappy ashes.
Fiona thought of her own upbringing. ‘I wish I could say my family were like you and Linc and Alex, but they’re not.’
Her family did lack what should be there for her automatically, simply because she was theirs. But couldn’t it be there, simply hidden away? Maybe they needed a little more encouragement to come to realise she needed them to love her simply for herself? Maybe she just hadn’t tried hard enough, reached out to them enough? If she poured out her love to them, surely they would respond?
Brent parked the truck and they climbed out.
They’d had to park some distance back. He wrapped his fingers around her upper arm and guided her at a half jog past bystanders, through the crowd of inevitable onlookers.
As they drew closer, he sucked in one long, deep breath and blew it out. ‘It’s not his building that’s on fire.’
He pulled his mobile phone from his pocket then and speed dialled it again as they hustled along. ‘Still no answer.’
They reached the cordoned-off area in time to see several soot-smeared fire personnel emerge from the burning building. It was a terrifying sight. Men in full hazard gear, two of them with warehouse workers in their arms. Flames crackling, the roaring sound of a burning blaze as it consumed a path of destruction.
‘There he is. Thank God. He could have been killed.’ Brent uttered the words as he strode forward. ‘This isn’t the same as him listening for the rush of wind that comes before a train roars around a blind corner in a tunnel, giving you just seconds of warning to get out of the way. There’s no predicting fire.’
He grabbed Fiona’s hand and plunged them beneath the cordon.
‘Alex did that?’ she asked, but, from Brent’s ‘grey hairs’ comment, she already knew the answer was yes.
Someone called for them to stay back, that they weren’t allowed in.
If Brent heard, he ignored it. His focus was on his brother.
Alex had just finished giving water to a woman prone on the ground. His suit, face and hair were covered in soot. He laid the woman’s head gently back down, spoke a few words with her and, when an ambulance officer approached, stepped back.
‘You know most people undergo training before they start rushing into burning buildings.’ Brent’s words were low, gentle and raw at once, though Fiona could see he was working very hard to hide the latter emotion.
Even so, he clasped Alex into a bear hug for a long moment before he held him at arm’s length and searched his brother’s eyes, face. ‘You’re not injured? How did you end up in there?’
‘Should have figured you’d find me before I had a chance to clean up.’ Alex gave a lopsided grin. ‘At least you’re not hauling me away from trains and tunnels—’ He broke off, glanced sheepishly at Fiona.
‘I just mentioned that to Fiona, actually.’ Brent shook his head, but his eyes were warm as they searched Alex’s face again.
Certain aspects of Alex’s paintings, colour choices, style came to Fiona’s mind—came together with those comments about trains and tunnels. Graffiti art…‘I think you gave your big brother some tough moments while you were exploring your…er…talents, Alex.’
‘Something like that.’ He ducked his head with a self-conscious cough that quickly turned into the real thing.
Brent gave the younger man’s shoulders one firm shake. ‘Have you been checked out by the medical staff?’
‘Yes, and they said I have to take today off work, which is stupid. It’s just a cough. All I need is a shower and change of clothes before I go back to it.’ He paused and gestured towards the building. ‘They have everyone out now, at least. They got the last two just as you arrived.’
‘And now you need rest and…’ Brent hesitated and his brows came down. ‘Rosa. You need Rosa. She’ll know what to do to look after you.’
A short debate followed about how much Alex did or didn’t need to be off work or babysat. That took them all the way to Brent’s truck, where Fiona climbed into the back so the brothers could be together in the front.
Brent made the call, so whatever Alex wanted was apparently, at this point, irrelevant.
Fiona hid a smile.
She looked at the backs of those two heads; saw the set of Brent’s shoulders and the way his head ticked to the right as he glanced once again at Alex, as though to reassure himself the youngest MacKay really was okay.
And emotion welled up out of nowhere and flooded through her. Emotion for this man who had made a family out of nothing, and made it work better than her ‘real’ one ever had. She didn’t have a ‘work only’ attitude to Brent. Somewhere along the line that had changed, despite her belief that she couldn’t allow that to happen.
And maybe she needed to at least admit that fact to herself, even if doing so couldn’t change anything between them.
‘Tell me how the fire started.’ Brent dropped the topic of Alex’s health as he headed for their warehouse home. ‘And how you ended up in the middle of things like that. I’d like you to say you weren’t even in the building but, from the look of you, I’d say multiple trips without any safety equipment or protective gear is more likely.’
‘Half a dozen trips. I was careful.’ Alex explained he’d spotted the start of the fire from his own office window, called it in and headed straight there.
And Brent listened and nodded and was clearly trying very hard not to let his head explode over all the things that could have happened to his brother and, thankfully, hadn’t.
He drew the truck to a stop inside the warehouse’s garage area and turned to Alex once again. ‘I understand you couldn’t have done anything differently. You no doubt saved lives today. How can I chide you for that? I’m just glad you’re okay, that’s all.’
As they all got out of the truck, Brent drew out his mobile phone and hit a speed number. ‘Linc. Yeah. I’ve got him. He’s got a chest full of smoke fumes and a couple of singed patches, but he’s okay. Meet us at home, okay?’ He ended the call.
Fiona hesitated as the two brothers headed for the staircase. ‘I can head to work now, put in a belated showing for at least one of us since we haven’t been in yet. I don’t want to intrude on your fami
ly time—’
‘Stay.’ Alex uttered the single word while his gaze shifted from her to Brent and back again. There was something in his expression—a question and perhaps even hope—that Fiona didn’t understand.
Brent’s mouth tightened and he headed for the stairs. To Alex he said, ‘Fiona and I were working on a landscaping outline here earlier this morning, so neither of us has been into the office yet.’ He turned to Fiona and added, ‘We might as well go at the same time when we do go.’
‘At least my car’s in all day parking.’ Even if it hadn’t been, Fiona would have forgotten about it one way and another this morning!
The change in Alex’s expression was subtle.
The statement in Brent’s was a little less subtle.
Fiona caught on at last and her face heated as she realised what their exchange had been all about. Alex had thought she and Brent had spent the night together and, from his expression earlier, he’d hoped that might have been the case.
Why?
Well, bachelors being bachelors, maybe she was better off not knowing why!
They went straight to Alex’s home. He tipped out his smashed mobile phone from his trouser pocket. That explained the lack of communication earlier.
‘Did you get cut when that happened?’ Some deep ingrained mothering instinct rose up in Fiona as she waited for Alex’s answer. She wanted to insist he go check on that right this moment.
Brent turned his head when Fiona asked this question and sharp eyes examined Alex once again.
Alex shrugged his shoulders. ‘I’ll check it when I clean up. Shame about the phone, though. I really liked that one.’
The door pushed open and Linc stepped through. He strode straight to the living room where they stood. ‘Reminds me of the time we got locked into the orphanage while that fire raged next door. I thought we were all going to burn, shut in there, before they decided it was “safe” to let us out.’
As he talked, he examined his brother through shrewd eyes. ‘You’re all right, then?’
‘I want him through the shower, cleaned up to get the smoke off him.’ Brent uttered the words before Alex could respond for himself. ‘When she gets here, Rosa can go in there and check—’