by Style, Linda
She was immensely thankful for that.
As she rounded the corner, a candy-apple-red SUV with a Californian license plate came into view in front of her house. Her heart fluttered. Could it be Adam? But then she realized that if it was him, he would be there on business.
That was it. He’d found out something he felt required a personal trip. Dread swept over her. Oh, God. What now? Had they found Rob? She didn’t know if she could handle that.
Opening the side door and going into the kitchen from the garage, she heard soft voices in the family room to her left. Taking a few steps down the hallway, she heard Adam’s voice, then Chloe’s.
She could see their reflections in the mirror over the built-in oak buffet. Chloe was sitting on the ottoman and Bobby in the chair. Adam was pacing the floor as he talked. Jillian couldn’t make out the words, but then she saw him hunker down.
She inched closer to hear.
“Since my mom’s not home yet,” Chloe said, “can I ask you some questions? Some things I can’t ask her?”
Jillian jerked back in surprise. Chloe could ask her anything. Why did she think she couldn’t?
“Sure, but I can’t promise I’ll know the answers.”
“Did you know my dad?” Chloe asked
“No, I didn’t. Not personally.”
Jillian caught her breath, praying he wouldn’t tell them everything. She thought about making a noise to let them know she was home, but if Chloe had questions she couldn’t ask her own mother, she wanted to know what those questions were.
Adam cleared his throat before he went on. “Even though I didn’t know him, I know he did some very good things.”
Chloe’s eyes brightened. “I thought maybe he did some bad things, because he went away and didn’t tell us. Then he met Bobby’s mom and they had him.”
“Well, sometimes, when we don’t know why things happen, we start looking for answers. That’s when the imagination can run amuck. Like yours just did.” He ruffled her strawberry-blond curls.
Jillian pressed her hand against her mouth to keep from crying out, then heard Adam’s voice again.
“I do know that your dad helped put some bad guys in jail.”
Jillian froze.
“Wow!” both Chloe and Bobby said simultaneously. Chloe’s eyes flashed with excitement when she asked, “Was he a hero?”
Adam fidgeted, as if uncomfortable with the question. “That’s what they give medals for, isn’t it?”
“He got a medal? Did you see it? Did they give it to him after he died? Hallie’s dad said they do that sometimes.”
Adam reached into his inside jacket pocket and Jillian craned her neck to see what he was showing her. She couldn’t see it, but heard him say. “This is it. It’s called the Medal of Valor.”
“What does that mean?” Bobby asked.
Adam paused slightly. “Valor means courage and bravery. And this medal is only given to those who exhibit both, usually in times of danger.”
Chloe’s eyes almost glowed she was so proud. Her chest literally puffed up. “That’s really, really cool. Can I hold it?”
Adam handed Chloe the medal and she stroked it like a precious gem. Jillian’s throat cramped. Tears welled up in her eyes. Chloe had needed that. She needed something of her father to hold on to, something good to cherish and keep close to her heart.
“Sometimes,” Adam said, “when you feel very lonely and you think you’re doing everything wrong, it helps to have something like that. Something to remind you that you can be brave and have courage.”
Chloe pressed the medal against her chest, her eyes rounding like full moons. “Can I keep it?” she breathed.
“Of course,” Adam said without hesitation. And then Jillian watched as he gave her little girl a big hug. “Your father would want you to have it. But you have to share with your brother.” Then he gave Bobby a hug, too. “Take good care of it, okay?”
Jillian thought she heard his voice crack, and felt tears moisten her own cheeks. She wanted more than anything to go to him and hug him and thank him for his wonderful gesture.
He’d given Chloe the one thing he had that made him feel he was worth something, and knowing how important that medal was to him, she didn’t think she could let Chloe keep it.
She slipped back into the kitchen, went to the door and opened and closed it again, noisily this time, to let them know she was home. “Chloe, Bobby, where are you two?”
Chloe came on the run. “Look! Look what Adam brought. It’s a medal for my dad because he was brave and had courage. That’s what valor means. Isn’t it cool?”
Jillian hugged both kids and, looking over their heads, saw Adam standing in the archway between the kitchen and family room. Chloe pulled away and ran toward the stairway. “I’m going to put it in my room. I can take that little doll out of that shadow box and put it in there,” she said. “Then it’ll be very safe. C’mon, Bobby. Let’s see where it should go.” And with that, the two children raced up the stairs.
Jillian straightened, smoothing the front of her tank top and jeans as she did. “Hi,” she said. Her voice quivered a little.
He raised an arm to lean against the archway. “Hi.”
Self-conscious, she glanced around. “Would you like some—”
He cut her off before she offered him something to drink. “No, nothing. I’m fine.”
“That medal. I don’t think…” She trailed off, unable to find the right words. Finally she said, “I really appreciate what you just did. Chloe needed something…something like that. But I know how important the medal is to you and I don’t think she should keep it, especially since the reason is…well, since it’s not true.”
“It is true—in a way. What he did allowed us to take out some of the most dangerous criminals around.”
“But he only did it as insurance to save himself. It wasn’t honorable and certainly didn’t have anything to do with courage or bravery.”
Adam looked down. Shook his head. “Well, there still could be a reas—”
“No! There isn’t. I appreciate that you slanted the truth for Chloe and Bobby’s sake, but you don’t have to do it for me.” She turned away, unable to look at Adam, afraid he’d see how vulnerable she was.
“I really hate all the lies,” she went on. “They’re so incredibly hard to live with. My mother lied to me about my father, everything I thought Rob and I had together was a lie, and it seems everything between us was a lie.”
Tears stung her eyes, and swallowing the lump in her throat, she added softly, “So please don’t tell me more lies just because you don’t want to hurt my feelings or think I can’t take it. Tell me the truth, Adam. Why are you here?”
Adam’s mind stalled. Did she actually believe that everything between the two of them was a lie? “I came here to tell you they found his body,” he said quietly so the children wouldn’t overhear. “And to give you this.” He handed her an envelope with her name on it—in Rob’s handwriting. “It was with some other things…and I’ll need to return it after you look at it.”
Her hands shook when she opened the envelope and pulled out a one-page letter.
Dear Jillian,
No matter what you might think of me now, I want you to know I loved you. I always loved you. I got caught up in something bad that took over my life, and I wasn’t strong enough to get out of it. I never planned for it to go as far as it did, and then I was afraid I’d hurt you and Chloe—or that someone else might. Things got worse and I couldn’t come back. I wanted to, but it was out of my hands. Please forgive me. I never wanted to hurt you or Chloe. I love you both.
Rob
Jillian clutched the counter for support.
Adam went to stand behind her and put both hands on her shoulders. She stiffened at his touch. After a moment her shoulders relaxed.
“You all right?”
She nodded. “Yes. I think I’ve known all along. But even so, this makes it real. Final. How long
have you known he was…”
“A couple weeks. The DEA were on it—the blond guy at the church in Cabacera.”
She looked surprised.
“Sullivan had gone to him long before we arrived and asked for his help to get out of the country. Sullivan had sent his wife and son into hiding before she got sick because he feared for their lives and his own. Apparently he’d offered information on the cartel in exchange for safe exit for him and his family, but Manolo’s henchmen got to him first. His body was found buried near one of the strongholds that got raided by the covert organization working on this case…and they made a positive ID from dental records.”
Jillian sucked in a deep breath. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
He shook his head. “What was the point? I knew how much it would hurt you.”
She swung around. “Dammit, Adam. It’s not up to you to decide what I should hear and what I shouldn’t.” She shoved the letter into his jacket pocket. “Here. You can have your damned evidence back.”
He winced at the anger in her voice. Anger at him. And it hurt.
He wasn’t one of the bad guys and he didn’t want her to think he was. Her opinion of him meant more than anything.
“You didn’t tell Chloe everything because all it would do is cause her more pain,” he said. “I did the same thing for you, that’s all. I wanted to protect you, and I’m sorry if I judged that wrong. I’m sorry if I took advantage of you when we were together, but don’t lump me in with the people in your life who’ve lied to you. I never lied to you about things between us, not once. And don’t ever think that what happened between us wasn’t meaningful. It was to me.”
She looked at him incredulously as she stepped away from him and reached to shut the kitchen door.
“Meaningful? What the hell does that mean? I didn’t make love with you because I wanted to have a meaningful experience. I fell in love with you, Adam. I wanted to make love with you because I was in love with you, and I wanted more than anything for the feeling to be mutual.”
He jerked back. What? Words stuck in his throat. She was in love with him? She was in love with him? Had he heard that right?
“But what about— I thought you were still in love with—”
Jillian stopped him with a hand in the air, hauled in a great gulp of air, then, looking down at her hands, said softly, “I loved him. I loved the person he was when he was with me. He took care of me when I needed someone. He helped me get on my feet. He deserved my love and my loyalty.
“But when I met you, I realized I was never in love with him. I didn’t know what that kind of love was like, how it felt. I was fifteen when I met Rob, and I’d never been with anyone else.” She whirled around, anger and pain, love and hate, want, need and desire reflected in her eyes and spilling out in a torrential river of words.
“I’m sorry if that’s a total surprise, and I’m sorry if it makes you feel even more guilty and more—” she waved a hand in the air “—more whatever it is that you feel. But I’m not like you, Adam. I can’t shut off my feelings, I can’t stifle them or pretend I don’t even have them, and—”
“The feeling was mutual.”
Her head came up.
“And meaningful means…I love you.”
She looked at him as if she hadn’t heard him right. “What?”
“I said I love you. The feeling was mutual.”
“Oh.”
“Oh?”
A tentative smile formed. Her eyes brightened, then the smile broadened. “Really?”
“Really.”
“But you said…you didn’t ever want to get…you said marriage wasn’t—”
He shushed her with a finger over her mouth. “I said it, and that was how I’d felt since…well, for a few years. But with you it’s different. I want different things. It’s just that—”
He stopped, not sure he could admit the truth to himself, much less to the person he loved. But more than anything he wanted her to believe him, to believe what he felt for her was real, not a lie.
“I’ve always considered myself a strong guy, and I’ve never failed at anything in my whole life—except at my marriage.”
His throat closed. Damn. He wasn’t sure he could get the words out.
“My marriage…” He cleared his throat. “My marriage failed because my wife found someone else, Jillian. She left me for another guy, and I can’t seem to get rid of the fear that sooner or later, the person I fall in love with will find me inadequate in some way and then leave.”
He took a huge breath, then forged on. “You made me realize that I was using my job as an excuse. It was easier not to get involved than to face failure again. But it didn’t stop me from falling in love with you. Even knowing you still loved your husband didn’t stop me from doing that. But I—”
Jillian placed a shushing finger over his mouth and locked gazes with him. He was so fearless and so proud, and she knew the incredible courage it must’ve taken for him to admit what he just had to her. And he’d told her because he wanted her to know the truth. He wanted her to trust him, believe in him.
And she did. She truly did. At that moment her heart was so full of love it felt ready to burst.
“I’m in love with you, Adam Ramsey. Totally and completely. No one else.” She sighed. “And I don’t know what to do about that.”
“What do you want to do about it?” His gaze stayed glued to hers and for the longest time neither said a word, as if talking might somehow shatter such a fragile moment.
Finally she whispered, “What are you thinking?”
“Geography.”
“Excuse me?”
“We’ve got to do something about that. Me in California, you in Chicago.” He leaned forward, his forehead against hers.
“We can work on it.”
She felt his warm breath against her lips. “Now what are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking about your mouth—about kissing you.”
“And after that?”
“I have a hundred other ideas.”
When his lips met hers, she had a hundred other ideas, too, and they all started with him.
THE END
Please read on for Rico’s story in
THE TAKEN
Book two in the L.A.P.D. Special Investigations series
LAPD Special Investigations series, Book 2
THE TAKEN
AN ABANDONED CHILD
Alone and afraid, a small boy is found wandering the streets of Los Angeles.
A DESPERATE COP
Detective Rico Santini will do anything to find his niece’s kidnapped child. Anything except break the rules. The one time he took a shortcut, he failed and it nearly destroyed his family. But Rico will never stop looking for the boy…not even when forced to work with a sexy Beverly Hills attorney who challenges his every move.
A SECRETIVE SOCIALITE
Once, all Macy Capshaw wanted was to have a family. It wasn’t meant to be and now all the attorney wants is to protect children, especially the sad little boy in her charge. That means keeping away media types and insistent detectives. But one detective is stirring up questions about Haven’s Gate where his niece’s baby was born–and where Macy gave birth to a stillborn child years ago. Now she has questions. And the answers could put all of them in danger.
Just when sizzling passion between the detective and the socialite ignites, a stunning discovery changes everything. Both are faced with the hardest choices of their lives. And Rico’s decision could save Macy’s life…
From nationally bestselling author Linda Style comes the second novel in the L.A.P.D. Special Investigations series. THE TAKEN follows THE DECEIVED, a page-turning romantic suspense that garnered the Orange Rose Best Book of the Year Award.
L.A.P.D. Special Investigations
Giving up is not an option
CHAPTER ONE
“THEY FOUND THE BOY scavenging through trash cans at the bus station.” Detective En
rico Santini shifted his cell phone from one ear to the other and scanned the reception area of Macy Capshaw’s upscale law office. “He doesn’t know his name or where he’s from.”
“You think it could be Chelsey’s kid?” his partner asked.
“He’s the right age.”
“Him and how many others out of the 800,000 kids who go missing every year? You still feeling responsible?”
Rico shifted position in the plush waiting room chair, the supposedly soothing elevator music in the background grating on his nerves. He’d been the one who suggested his niece stay at Haven’s Gate to have her baby, and less than twenty-four hours after the birth, the infant had been abducted.
“We did everything we could,” Jordan said.
Yeah, to no avail. “I need to check it out.”
The receptionist nodded at Rico, indicating the lawyer was ready to see him.
“Gotta go. I’ll get back to you later.” He stood, pocketed the phone and followed the young woman into the attorney’s spacious office.
“Detective Santini,” the receptionist announced to the woman behind an oversize mahogany desk. Her blond hair gleamed like the patina on the champagne-colored Benz he’d seen in the parking garage with the vanity plate MC2LAW, her tailored suit screamed Gucci or some other designer name and the subtle lift of her chin warned that a cop, the son of Italian immigrants from Hoboken, New Jersey, wasn’t in her league. Not even close.
She stood to shake his hand, a quick, firm move that was all business.
As the receptionist left, Rico noted that Macy Capshaw, with her hair pulled back into a sleek, long ponytail, looked as if she’d just graduated high school. Except the Harvard Law certificate on the wall said otherwise.
How someone her age could afford digs in the L.A. Citicorp Building without any partners was a mystery.
The lawyer motioned for him to sit in the chair across from her. “What can I do for you, Detective?”
“I understand you’re the court-appointed advocate for the boy found at the bus station.” He sat in another plush chair that had no doubt caressed its share of millionaires’ asses.