¡Adios, America!

by Ann Coulter

  Post-Slim, the Times tends more toward deranged hectoring in favor of illegal immigration. In the Times’ 2014 “Go Big” editorial—the one insisting that Obama grant permanent residence to illegal immigrants streaming across the border—the Times sniped: “Republicans will howl over Mr. Obama’s solo actions. Let them.”

  The Times should never stop hearing about Carlos Slim. By all the rules of the Left, you’re not supposed to trust someone beholden to a rich man, especially one with a specific interest in public policy. If Slim had saved any company in the world other than the New York Times, his sleazy insider deals and business model based on mass illegal immigration to the United States would absolutely be a problem. But you forgot something—we’re the New York Times! We’re the good guys. You’re not factoring that in.

  SOLVING “THE SERVANT PROBLEM”

  From Carlos Slim to urban professionals, ethnic activists, greedy “churches,” and Republican lobbyists, no one who supports mass immigration does not benefit financially from it. New York Times sugar daddy Carlos Slim is just a particularly repellant example of the bald self-interest behind the demand for a never-ending tide of poor immigrants to the United States. Don’t you understand? People on Wall Street are about to have to pay minimum wage for a nanny! It’s not about loving Hispanics—it’s about cheap servants.

  Republicans are terrified of saying anything about immigration for fear of being called “racist.” It’s kind of lucky for American billionaires—and one Mexican billionaire—that the vast majority of our immigrants are Latin America’s poor, not Poland’s poor. The fact that most immigrants are Hispanic provides excellent cover for the elite’s monumental self-interest.

  Here’s a tip for the GOP: Don’t talk about the illegal aliens. Talk about Carlos Slim. Talk about rich Americans finding a solution to “the servant problem.” Talk about one-hit-wonder Mark Zuckerberg underpaying his computer programmers while 32 percent of American graduates in STEM fields (science, technology, engineering, and math) can’t get jobs and the rest haven’t seen their salaries rise for more than a decade.41

  Talk about how Bill Clinton couldn’t find someone to be his attorney general because of the prevalence of illegal alien employees in households of the “1 percent.” Determined to appoint a woman attorney general, Clinton kept producing women with illegal alien nannies. In the end, he had to get around the rich’s dependence on cheap domestics by nominating Janet Reno to fill the spot.

  Clinton first nominated Zoë Baird, an in-house lawyer for Aetna Life and Casualty. Then it turned out Baird had employed illegal aliens, Lillian and Victor Corderos, as her household’s nanny and chauffeur. The media ferociously defended Baird, explaining how “commonplace” illegal alien workers were in professional households. “It’s just a reality of life,” one head of an employment agency told the Times, “that without the illegal girls, there wouldn’t be any nannies, and the mommies would have to stay home and mind their own kids.”42 Are you grasping the full horror of the situation?

  Another employment agency admitted it was just about saving the rich money: “No matter how you slice it, the reason that people hire immigrants without papers is that they’re looking to save. If they want legal, they can get it, but it costs.”43 Baird, for example, who was making half a million dollars a year, got two illegal alien servants for forty-two dollars a day each, plus room and board.44 The Times cheerfully described illegal alien help for the rich as a “pragmatic” arrangement “linking illegal immigrants and middle-class homes.” The newspaper said that as “more American women with young children moved into the workplace, the demand for housekeepers increased exponentially.”45

  Notwithstanding the Times’ heartfelt defense of the rich and their maids, Americans responded by deluging the Capitol switchboard with enraged calls assailing Baird’s employment of illegals. The phone calls were running 50–1 against her, according to Democratic Senator Howard Metzenbaum of Ohio.46 It was left to Senator Joe Biden, Delaware Democrat, to explain to the Clinton White House that most Americans do not have a retinue of illegal alien servants.

  Baird was forced to withdraw her name from consideration and returned to her half-a-million-dollar-a-year job. The Corderos were not so fortunate. Solely on account of the ruckus over Baird’s nomination, they were forced to return to Peru, under threat of deportation. And thus ended the humanitarian crisis in Peru as far as Zoë Baird was concerned.

  Even after seeing what had happened with Baird, Clinton’s next nominee, Kimba Wood, also had an illegal alien nanny! In three interviews for the job—twice by White House counsel Bernie Nussbaum, and once by the president himself—Wood flatly denied that she had a “Zoë Baird problem,” apparently on the grounds that when she first hired her illegal alien Trinidadian nanny it was not technically against the law. In her withdrawal letter, Wood kept obtusely insisting that she had not broken the letter of the law.47

  The elites just can’t grasp that most Americans raise their own kids, make their own beds, cook their own food, and drive their own cars. A decade later, another pro–illegal immigration activist saw her nomination go up in flames over an illegal alien employee. President-Elect Bush chose Linda Chavez as his labor secretary, but she was forced to withdraw when it was revealed that she, too, had hired an illegal alien domestic. Defending the rich’s need for cheap labor, Chavez said, “I do believe that Zoë Baird was treated unfairly.”48

  BUT IT’S GREAT FOR THE RICH!

  The push for mass immigration from “developing” countries has nothing to do with solving world poverty. It would be an odd way to do it: I know—let’s move all the poor people to American suburbs! According to the World Bank, 2.4 billion people—about a third of the earth’s population—live on less than two dollars a day.49 Until the world economy reaches perfect equilibrium and there is no reason for anyone to move from one country to another, billions of desperate people will want to come to America. We can’t take them all, so which billion of the starving masses are liberals going to exclude? Will it involve death panels? Are liberals going to trample on the rights of Bangladeshis? They’re dying of cholera! Is it their brown skin liberals don’t like? Sorry, liberals, but your white picket fence sense of America and fear of “Furriners” can’t hold back the 2.4 billion in this worldwide humanitarian crisis.

  Our current immigration law’s preference for destitute people from backward cultures is merely a convenience for the 1 percent. The elites will be gung-ho for a fence just as soon as every college graduate—at least from one of the better schools—can afford a maid, a nanny, a chef, and a gardener. At that point, the elite will stop pretending to care about the world’s poor. America will be Brazil, with a well-pampered, itty-bitty upper class, amid an ocean of poor people.

  Half a century of Kennedy’s immigration law already has us well on our way to becoming a nation of Have-Everythings and Have-Nothings. Fabulously wealthy towns like Malibu, California; Atherton, California; Woodside, California; Greenwich, Connecticut; New York’s Upper East Side; and Palm Beach, Florida, are lily-white—and getting whiter! But in the rest of the country, once-white towns are going majority Hispanic like dominoes: Van Nuys, California; San Bernardino, California; Oxnard, California; Shelbyville, Kentucky; Danbury, Connecticut; Monroe, North Carolina; and Siler City, North Carolina—home of The Andy Griffith Show’s “Aunt Bee.” It’s a sweet deal the elites have: They get to have cheap nannies and lawn boys in the whitest towns in America—and feel morally superior at the same time! What’s not to like about that?

  Immigration isn’t about rescuing the 2.4 billion people of the world living on less than two dollars a day. It’s about enriching the already rich, who like to laugh at blue-collar people being ground down by cheap labor. It’s about Carlos Slim, Zoë Baird, Kimba Wood, Mark Zuckerberg, and Sheldon Adelson getting richer. It’s about the gilded class being able to afford a battery of servants. It’s about ethnic activists increasing their power and media desirability. It’s abou
t Democrats winning a permanent political majority. And it’s about Republican officeholders pleasing their well-heeled donors and clinging to power, at least for a few more years. What use does New Jersey Governor Chris Christie have for an out-of-work roofer when Mark Zuckerberg wants to be his friend? The only people not benefiting from immigration are ordinary Americans. But who cares about them?

  Certainly not the New York Times. They just want to keep Carlos Slim happy.

  SPOT THE IMMIGRANT!

  CASE NO. 4 | INDIAN SEX SLAVES IN BERKELEY

  ONE MAY IMAGINE MARCIA POOLE’S SURPRISE WHEN SHE WAS DRIVING through Berkeley one day in 1999 and saw a group of Indian men carrying an oddly shaped, rolled carpet to the back of a van. As Poole continued to watch, she saw a woman’s leg fall out of the carpet. Nearby, other men were trying to drag a crying Indian girl into the same van with the rolled-up human body.

  Poole tried to intervene, but the head Indian yelled at her to butt out of a “family affair.” Then, at the sound of police sirens, all the Indians scattered, leaving her alone with the van, the rolled-up body, and the crying girl.

  As Poole was telling the police what she’d seen, the Indians returned one by one, as if they happened to be strolling through the neighborhood. Oh look—a van with an unconscious thirteen-year-old girl rolled up in a carpet!

  On closer inspection, the police found not only the girl in the van, but another young female body in the building’s stairwell.

  The head Indian turned out to be multimillionaire real estate magnate Lakireddy Bali Reddy. He told the police that the girls were his nieces. Their roommate—the crying girl—had come back to their shared apartment, which he owned, to find them unconscious. All three worked in his restaurant, so the girl called him and the big happy family was in the process of transporting the girls to a hospital. In a rolled-up carpet.1 The girl in the stairwell was dead. Both victims had suffered from carbon monoxide poisoning, though the one in the carpet later recovered.

  Would any of this seem at all suspicious if white men were caught doing it?

  It was not suspicious to the Berkeley police. In a flash of investigative genius Inspector Clouseau would admire, the policewoman on the scene allowed Bali Reddy to translate for the crying girl, who did not speak English. Amazingly, she confirmed his story! Lieutenant Cynthia Harris, chief of detectives for the Berkeley Police Department, later acknowledged that “in hindsight, we should not have done that.”2 “How does “Chief of Police Harris” sound, Cynthia?

  Reddy was assessed a fine for the carbon monoxide leaking from a broken heater in his building. And that was the end of that, as far as the police and the media were concerned. Lakireddy Bali Reddy—another immigrant success story!

  LAKIREDDY BALI REDDY’S “HIGH-TECH WORKERS”

  Except then a local high school journalism class decided to investigate the story. Not having attended Columbia Journalism School, the young scribes were unaware of the prohibition on committing journalism that reflects poorly on Third World immigrants. Thanks to the teenagers’ reporting, it was discovered that Reddy had become a multimillionaire by using H-1B visas to bring in slave labor from his native India. Dozens of Indian slaves were working in his buildings and at his restaurant. Apparently, some of those “brainy” high-tech workers America so desperately needs include busboys and janitors.

  And concubines. The pubescent girls Reddy brought in on H-1B visas were not his nieces: They were his concubines, purchased from their parents in India when they were twelve years old. The sixty-four-year-old Reddy flew the girls to America so he could have sex with them—often several of them at once. (We can only hope this is not why Mark Zuckerberg is so keen on H-1B visas.)

  The third roommate—the crying girl—had escaped the carbon monoxide poisoning only because she had been at Reddy’s house having sex with him, which, judging by the looks of him, might be worse than death. As soon as a translator other than Reddy was found, she admitted that “the primary purpose for her to enter the U.S. was to continue to have sex with Reddy.” The day her roommates arrived from India, she was forced to watch as the old, balding immigrant had sex with both underage girls at once.3 She also said her dead roommate had been pregnant with Reddy’s child. That could not be confirmed by the court because Reddy had already cremated the girl, in the Hindu tradition—even though her parents were Christian. In all, Reddy had brought seven underage girls to the United States for sex—smuggled in by his brother and sister-in-law, who lied to immigration authorities by posing as the girls’ parents.4

  Reddy’s “high-tech” workers were just doing the slavery Americans won’t do. No really—we’ve tried getting American slaves! We’ve advertised for slaves at all the local high schools and didn’t get a single taker. We even posted flyers at the grade schools, asking for prepubescent girls to have sex with Reddy. Nothing. Not even on Craigslist.

  Reddy’s slaves and concubines were considered “untouchables” in India, treated as “subhuman”—“so low that they are not even considered part of Hinduism’s caste system,” as the Los Angeles Times explained. To put it in layman’s terms, in India they’re considered lower than a Kardashian. According to the Indian American magazine India Currents: “Modern slavery is on display every day in India: children forced to beg, young girls recruited into brothels, and men in debt bondage toiling away in agricultural fields.” More than half of the estimated 20.9 million slaves worldwide live in Asia.5

  Thanks to American immigration policies, slavery is making a comeback in the United States! A San Francisco couple “active in the Indian community” bought a slave from a New Delhi recruiter to clean house for them, took away her passport when she arrived, and refused to let her call her family or leave their home.6 In New York, Indian immigrants Varsha and Mahender Sabhnani were convicted in 2006 of bringing in two Indonesian illegal aliens as slaves to be domestics in their Long Island, New York, home.7

  In addition to helping reintroduce slavery to America, Reddy sends millions of dollars out of the country in order to build monuments to himself in India. “The more money Reddy made in the States,” the Los Angeles Times chirped, “the more good he seemed to do in his hometown.” That’s great for India, but what is America getting out of this model immigrant? Slavery: Check. Sickening caste system: Check. Purchasing twelve-year-old girls for sex: Check. Draining millions of dollars from the American economy: Check. Smuggling half-dead sex slaves out of his slums in rolled-up carpets right under the nose of the Berkeley police: Priceless.

  HIGH SCHOOL REPORTERS BREAK THE CASE

  He would have gotten off scot-free, with no one the wiser, except for a high school journalism class. Remember: The truth about Reddy’s human smuggling racket was broken not by the San Francisco Chronicle, but by a high school newspaper, the Berkeley High Jacket.8 Even after high school kids did the work American reporters just won’t do, the media ignored the story. The New York Times never wrote about Reddy’s slaves, unless we’re counting a brief reference to Reddy’s use of H-1B visas thousands of words into an article on the difficulties employers face in bringing high-tech workers to America.9

  You’ve heard about Officer Darren Wilson shooting Mike Brown in Ferguson, Missouri. You’ve heard about the nonexistent rapes at UVA, the Duke lacrosse team rape case, and that ridiculous woman carrying a mattress around on her back at Columbia University. You’ve heard that Senator Kirsten Gillibrand claims male senators spoke in sexist language to her. Now ask yourself: Why have you never heard of Lakireddy Bali Reddy?

  REPUBLICANS STILL FIGHTING DEMOCRATS OVER SLAVERY

  Not just the media, but government officials refused to acknowledge that Reddy had done anything wrong. He’s diverse! America is too “white-bread.” Slavery is colorful! The appropriately named federal prosecutor, John Kennedy, allowed Reddy to plead to a few counts of tax and immigration fraud and to the importation of two underage girls for sex. For this, Kennedy recommended a sentence of six years. Six years! Before havin
g his sham conviction overturned by the Texas Court of Appeals, former Representative Tom Delay was facing three years in prison for putting campaign funds in the wrong account.

  The Republican-appointed black female judge, Saundra Brown Armstrong, apparently thought six years a bit lenient for slavery and ordered the lawyers to come up with a longer sentence. Pressed to the wall, Kennedy recommended eight years, which is all that Reddy got. It’s one thing for people in Reddy’s native village to consider him a king, but did the American prosecutor have to? The American Civil Liberties Union took Reddy’s side in the child rape/slavery case. ACLU attorney Jayashri Srikantiah strenuously argued that any sentence longer than six years was too harsh for a model citizen like Reddy.10 Nothing says “American Civil Liberties” like a sixty-four-year-old Indian importing little girls for sex!

  Reddy still lives in California, as do his pimp brother and sister-in-law. So do all of Reddy’s victims—and not just his victims in America, but his victims back in India who had never been to America. In order to bring a case that ended in a lousy eight-year prison sentence, government officials traveled to India to locate more of Reddy’s child rape victims. They were all brought to America and given asylum, despite the fact that none of them would testify against Reddy.11 Indeed, a few years into Reddy’s sentence, five of his concubines came to court to praise Reddy and urge his early release from prison.12

  So that was a great deal for America. We got the Indian pedophile. We got his H-1B scams. We got a caste system that defines some humans as “untouchable.” We got a bunch of girls who think it’s normal for their parents to sell them to a sixty-year-old man for sex and who even defend the pedophile. As the Los Angeles Times put it, these girls don’t understand “just how abhorrent sexual abuse of minors is in U.S. culture.”13 I’m so happy to have them as my fellow Americans. It bodes well for the future of our country.