“Like what?”
“I don’t know, special lingerie? A sexy little dance? Maybe some naughty text messages to get them in the mood?”
“Uh, not really.”
“This is going to be harder than I thought,” Carol said, rubbing her forehead. “Okay, have you ever been to a strip club?”
“No!” she exclaimed. “You’re saying I should go to his office and take all of my clothes off?”
“No,” she groaned. “I guess I mean more like a burlesque.”
“What’s the difference? Don’t both involve taking one’s clothes off?”
“Not literally stripping, you idiot. Tease him. Look sexy as hell and make him want you. Flirt with him, but then take yourself away from the equation. You’re trying to create a buildup, but without a release.”
I put my head in my hands. “This isn’t going to work. I’m useless.”
“You’re not useless. Let me teach you.”
Carol grabbed me by the hand and dragged me into her room. She went to her closet and sifted through a few things before tossing a short skirt and tight tank top at me.
“Why can’t I wear this?”
“Because he’s already seen you in that today. Besides, there’s nothing appealing about boot cut jeans and a baggy sweatshirt.”
“Wow, thanks,” I said.
“Oh, don’t take offense. I’m just trying to help you. Now, do you want my help, or not?”
“Yes,” I said, feeling sullen and desperate.
“Do you own a pushup bra?”
“No.”
“Borrow mine. Lead with your chest. Men go crazy for that.”
“Okay, what else?”
“Smile and giggle a lot. Twirl your hair around your finger. Touch him. You definitely want to touch him on the arm or the thigh if possible.”
“Got it. Touch him.”
“But don’t let him touch you. He can get close, but pull away right when he tries.”
“You’re telling me too many things. I think I need to take notes,” I said warily.
“You nerd! This should be instinctual. In fact, I don’t want to give you any more ideas. You just need to go with the flow. I’m going to do your hair and makeup, you’re going to put on my clothes, and then you’re going to make him wish he never fucked with you.”
I sat in nervous silence as my roommate gave me a makeover. I tried to remember all the things she told me, but they were jumbled in my mind. I was way out of my league. When I thought too much about it, I forgot how to flirt. I knew I was going to screw things up.
Carol could tell I was nervous. She reached under her bed and handed me a bottle of bourbon.
“It’s the middle of the day,” I said.
“Drink up. You need this.”
I obliged, taking a swig of the burning liquid. I passed it to Carol, who took a sip as well. She handed the bottle back to me for another drink. A few minutes later, I was feeling pretty good. I wasn’t nervous at all and I was kind of excited to talk to Alex. I was feeling sexy and seductive, thanks to the booze and the makeover.
“I think you’re ready,” Carol said, a proud look on her face.
“I think I might be, too,” I said quietly.
“What are you waiting for? Get out there!” she laughed.
I took a deep breath and one more drink. Then, I headed back toward my classroom to get back at Alex, once and for all. I had no idea what I was doing, but I was going to try anyway.
10
Alex
I flicked the lights on in the classroom, wondering if anyone would notice if I just went home and took a nap. My office wouldn’t expect me to be anywhere but at the university, and since I told my students to voice their concerns through email, the university would just assume that I was at my office. It would be like the adult version of the scam kids played on their parents when they wanted to go somewhere forbidden. I’d say I was at a friend’s house, and my friend would say he’s at mine. Everyone would be satisfied and I could get some much needed rest.
I sat down at the desk and put my head in my hands. If I couldn’t get a quick snooze at home, I guess the classroom would suffice. I closed my eyes and tried to clear my thoughts, but once again, this was proving to be difficult.
Rebecca was on my mind, and I was not happy about it.
As a rule, I tried not to let girls get the better of me. I had seen firsthand what it did to other men. My friends always looked so weak when they were whipped by their girls. Even if they weren’t officially attached to a chick, their crushes yielded great power over them. It made me sick. A guy who could hold his own in the boardroom was suddenly falling victim to his girlfriend and giving up golf trips for shopping sprees. I never wanted to be like that. Having a girl stuck in one’s mind was only the beginning.
Monogamy did not run in the family. My father was married to my mother for eighteen years before they officially ended the relationship. However, from what I heard from my mom on nights that she had consumed too much wine, he cheated on her from early on. But, she loved him and loved her kids, so she stayed with him. She put on a good show for that long, though. I never suspected a thing until I reached my teens and finally understood what my dad meant when he said he stayed in the city overnight to ‘work’.
Somehow, this casual attitude toward infidelity must have seeped into my brother’s and my psyche. My mother taught us the basics of being a decent man—open the doors for women and don’t force them to have sex when they don’t want to. Everything else, we learned from our dad. The same girl night after night was a bore. What your main chick doesn’t know won’t hurt her. Take a shower after sleeping with your mistress so your girl at home won’t smell her perfume on you. That sort of thing.
My older brother tried to master monogamy and got married to a wonderful woman. She was an East Coast darling, the type of girl you want to take to your parents’ summer home in Nantucket. Caroline was a sweetheart, but she could be tough when it mattered. She worked in advertising while my brother worked in the family business. She wanted kids, and he wanted to continue to live life as an extension of college. But, he agreed, and she gave birth to two sons in three years; all the while, my brother was sleeping around while she was home rocking the boys to sleep.
Somehow, he managed to play it off for a few years, fooling her into thinking he was just working really hard to put money in their college savings accounts. My brother made the mistake of pissing one of his girlfriends off and she went to the wife and spilled the beans. Coincidentally, the girlfriend was mad because she found out that he had another girlfriend. The whistleblower knew too well that my brother was married, but apparently, she had a problem with being cheated on, not being cheated with.
In the end, Caroline took the boys and half of everything. Whenever the boys come around on holidays, I can’t help but think that they’re doomed to the same fate. It must be the Rye Family curse.
Knowing I was doomed as well, I never even gave monogamy a shot. It’s like if all of the men in my family had a deadly peanut allergy—I don’t know for sure if I have the same allergy, but since the chances are good, I’m not going to risk it. I’ve seen how badly it ends for everyone involved.
I often heard from happily coupled-up friends that I was being silly and that I should give it a shot. Even some of my wilder friends managed to settle down and start a family. I wondered if I would end up being the old bachelor, the creepy old man, at my father’s age, no kids, no spouse. At this point in my life, it didn’t seem terrible. It wasn’t that I didn’t like children, but I didn’t want to be held responsible for fucking someone’s life up. If I wanted to do that, I could screw my own life up. No innocent people need be involved.
That’s why the fact that Rebecca was stuck in my brain was so troubling to me. Never in my life had I felt the instinct to chase after someone like that. I’d get brief flashes of arguing with her in my office, to lounging on the beach with her, to sliding a diamond r
ing onto her finger. It freaked me out to no end. She wasn’t even all that special.
If I wanted to go after a dream girl, I would choose a supermodel. She’d have to fly to jobs and be away for days or weeks at a time, but that would be perfect. I could have a little time to myself, or to hang with the guys without being nagged about forgetting to order the groceries or fix her Bentley. She’d have her good looks and would keep me happy in the sack. And, she’d look great on my arm for all of the dinners and events we would attend together. She’d be able to expand my client base with all of her rich and famous friends. It seemed ideal if I ever planned on settling down.
Instead, I was dreaming about a college student with zero assets and moderate good looks. She would undoubtedly be a huge pain in my ass and wouldn’t know the first thing about my social life. If we settled down together, she would demand a lot out of me, and I wasn’t prepared to change the way I lived, just for a woman. We could try to date, but it would only end in disaster. It was a terrible idea to get involved with Rebecca altogether.
In the end, I decided it would be best to get her out of my mind by any means possible. If it meant that I had to sleep with a bunch of women, I would do it. If I had to shock myself while masturbating to her image in my mind, I would try it. Thoughts of women only polluted the mind and made it harder to focus on more important things, like money and success. I was not about to end up like my father or my brother. I worked hard to make my money, and I wasn’t about to go to court to have a woman take half of it.
I sat up and pulled out my phone, deleting student emails begging me to give them the internship. They were making me regret ever announcing the prize. One student even tried to bribe me by saying he would give me a good teacher evaluation at the end of the semester. I laughed as I deleted that one. That kid overestimated how much I cared about teaching.
Then, I typed a few quick responses to the legitimate, albeit stupid, questions. When I was finished, I went back to my contacts list and did one last search, hoping that I would discover a name I previously forgot about. Alas, there was no one to take to my event, and I had begun to come to terms with going stag.
I checked my watch, figuring I could leave a few minutes early without anyone noticing. After all, I had made it very clear that I didn’t want to deal with students during this time. I stretched and started to get out of my chair when I heard a soft knock at the door.
I sighed. “Come in,” I droned.
I expected to see one of my students walk through the door. What I didn’t expect was to see that particular student, looking like she just walked into the club.
11
Rebecca
“What are you doing?” Alex asked, the question coming out as a groan.
“I think I forgot my phone in here during class,” I said casually, walking straight past him without a second glance. I marched up the stairs and walked toward my seat near the aisle, bending over. My translucent underwear peeked out from underneath my short skirt, staring him straight in the face. I exaggerated the movement, taking my time to feign my search. After a few long moments, I walked back toward his desk and placed my hands on the top of the surface.
“Did you find it?” he asked, his face contorted as if he were in pain.
“Nope,” I pouted. “Maybe I didn’t leave it here after all.” I stared him in the eye and leaned forward a little, my boosted breasts practically bulging from my tight top. I knew how ridiculous it must have looked, but it was worth a shot. “If you happen to find it, would you let me know?” I asked. “I’m sure you could look up my room in the student directory,” I said with a wink.
Alex closed his eyes for a brief moment and took a deep breath. “Yeah, sure, I’ll keep an eye out for it.”
“Thanks,” I said, giving him a pat on the arm. I wasn’t sure if this was what Carol meant when she told me to touch him, but I went for it anyway.
Before I could withdraw from him, he snatched my hand and held it in his.
“What’s this all about?” he asked, checking me out.
“What?” I asked innocently.
“I saw you a few hours ago. You were wearing normal clothing. Now, you’re back here when you know I’m going to be alone. You’re all dressed up, when I know the first thing you’re going to do when you get back to your dorm is put on sweatpants and sit in front of your computer. What’s with this new outfit?”
I shrugged, my boobs bouncing as I moved my shoulders. “I don’t see any problem with what I’m wearing. Do you?”
He began to smile, but quickly bit his lip. “No.”
“Can’t I wear my own clothes in my free time?” I said, though technically, they were handpicked for this exact occasion. “Do I not look good?”
He sighed again. “No, you look very nice.”
“Thank you,” I said, smirking at him. I felt like I was gaining some ground in this battle. I was forcing him to notice me and I could tell that it was paining him to do so.
“Look, I should be going,” he said. “I need to lock up the classroom and go back to my office for a few hours. Then, I have to pick up my tux from the dry cleaners and run a few more errands. I can’t wait until one of your classmates is working as my intern. I won’t have to do all of those tasks myself.”
I smiled curtly. “Make me your intern now, and I’ll do it this instant.”
“I don’t think that’s fair, seeing as I haven’t collected essays yet,” he replied. “What about the other students?”
“Fuck them,” I replied coarsely.
He raised his eyebrows. “Would you like that?”
I smirked. “I know you would. Well, I’ll leave you to it. Have a nice weekend. Enjoy your event tonight. I’m sure you’ll be able to convince the lovely people at the event that you’re not a douche bag.”
I removed my hand from his and traced my fingers along his back as I strutted toward the door.
“Wait,” he said.
I turned back to face him, walking a little closer. He was now sitting on top of his desk, his legs wide. I stood just a few feet away, to the point where he was practically straddling me.
“You’re going to get me fired,” he muttered to himself.
“I’m not doing anything,” I said innocently. “What do you want?”
He blinked a few times. “I think you know what I want.”
“Can you be more descriptive?” I asked, licking my lips.
He thought for a minute before responding. He was trying very hard to stay calm and I loved watching him squirm.
“I want you to have a lovely weekend,” he said softly. “I want you to go out and have some fun.”
I frowned. “Why?”
“I think you know why.”
I was confused. His demeanor changed so suddenly. I really thought he was going to say something filthy, so I could leave him behind in return. I had planned all of my moves very carefully, but he threw a wrench in what was supposed to be a very predictable conversation. Had I gone too far with him? Perhaps there was a kind, sensitive guy underneath all of that bad behavior. Maybe I had been too hard on him.
“Why?” I asked sincerely.
He cracked a wide smile. “You’re walking around here like a cat in heat. You’re trying to beg me to chase you.”
My mouth gaped open. He had figured me out. “No, I’m not!” I said, offended.
“What do you want from me?” he asked, turning the questions around again. “I don’t have a lot of time. Just tell me what you want and maybe I can help you out with it, unless you’re asking for the internship. I can’t give that to you if you haven’t earned it.”
I hesitated to say anything. I felt like he was playing the game better than I was, and he was just wearing the suit he showed up to class in. He even looked a little tired and had stubble on his chin. He made it all seem so easy. I had to put in so much work to be seductive, and it just oozed out of him with zero effort at all.
“I came here for my ph
one,” I said, still feeling a little tipsy from the alcohol I drank before I stormed the classroom.
“Sure,” he said, squinting his eyes a little. “And you want me to stop by your place if it magically shows up?”
I nodded. “That’s right.”
“And if I came to your place, would you open the door wearing absolutely nothing at all?”
My stomach fluttered. “Maybe. I don’t have to wear clothes in my own home.”
“And if I returned your phone, would you be so pleased that you had to repay me in any way you knew how?”
“Yeah, I think that sounds reasonable,” I said, my hips closer to his now. He was painting a picture in my head that I really wanted to come to fruition. I was so lost in this fantasy that I kept forgetting to play hard to get.
“Well, I’m about ready to go out and buy you a new phone,” he said, licking his lips.
I rested a hand on his knee. He didn’t even flinch.
“Then you didn’t earn the reward, much like I haven’t earned your internship,” I teased. “I’d gladly take a new phone, but that’s not why I came here.”
He leaned forward a little bit. I could smell his minty breath.
“Let’s just make this easier on the both of us,” he said softly. “The charity function is in about four hours from now. Your hair and makeup are already done, so you don’t have to worry about that. You clearly don’t have a ton to do, or else you wouldn’t be trying so hard to torment me. I suspect you’d rather enjoy prime rib or salmon and endless amounts of champagne, instead of the instant noodles and cheap vodka and three dollar bottles wine you’d have on a normal Friday night. Instead of sitting in front of your TV in sweats, you could be chatting with my co-workers in a beautiful gown. If you want, we can even dance, but it’s not required.”
He was tempting me. Everything he described about my other plans was painfully accurate. Everything he listed about the event sounded awesome. Would I be a complete sellout if I went? Alex’s annoying behavior aside, it did all sound a lot better than staying home. Would it be so crazy to accept his offer? As long as there were no strings attached, it didn’t seem like a bad deal.
Faking It: A Fake Girlfriend Romance Page 6