by Jenika Snow
His words were so open and honest that a sob tore through her chest. If she could just finish telling him, she knew things would be okay. “Oh, Reese—” Before she could get the words out she was in his arms and his lips were down on hers. It wasn’t a sexual kiss, but one filled with promise and sorrow. Their tears mixed, and the salty flavor bathed her lips.
Then he was gone. Just. Like. That. Her knees threatened to buckle as she watched him drive off.
Alex moved up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders, giving her the silent support she needed. Her fingers itched to call Reese, to tell him to come back and that everything would be okay, but instead she turned into Alex’s chest and cried silently.
Chapter Ten
One week later
The last week of school for seniors had passed quickly, and during that time she hadn’t seen much of Reese. The times they did cross paths he never looked at her or spoke, despite her attempts to talk to him. Calling him proved fruitless since he didn’t answer, and texting gave the same outcome. The one and only time she was able to actually speak to him he was distracted and tried to hide his hurt. He didn’t give her time to really speak to him before he was gone again. It was her fault he felt the need to give her “space”. She should have been stronger and told him that she loved him back when all of this first happened. She should have just blurted it out so he knew the truth
Graduation had come and gone, yet she didn’t feel any kind of excitement. Reese hadn’t even walked, despite his name being called. The pain she felt at the thought of him not being there, of him not accepting such a great accomplishment, had her regretting so many things she had done. She wanted to go to him, to tell him so many things that seemed bottled up inside of her. True to his word, he stayed away from her, despite her attempts to weave their relationship back together. He was an extreme person by nature, and thus their situation was in that category.
He consumed her thoughts, night and day, and all she wanted was his big, strong arms wrapped around her. Over the last few days Molly and Ian tried talking about everything that happened, but Kiera kept the details to herself. It had been torture even saying they were taking a break from each other, because in reality that wasn’t what she wanted. Maybe at first, but then she realized he was the one person for her. Whatever they saw in her expression had them leaving it at that.
It hadn’t taken her long after everything had happened for her to go through Reese’s texts and voicemail messages that he had left for her that day the world seemed to crumble away from her. They were heartbreakingly honest, and listening to his deep voice caused so much anguish inside of her that she hadn’t been able to finish listening to the rest of them.
“Kiera, why don’t you just go and talk to him?” Molly sat beside her on the bed and pushed her hair away from her face.
“You don’t understand, Molly. I’ve tried talking to him, countless times, but he thinks I need this time.” Kiera covered her face and breathed out. “I’m the one that pushed him away. I can’t even apologize or tell him I love him because he won’t return my texts or calls.”
Alex had been there for her, but the one whom she needed thought he was doing the best thing for them right now. She hadn’t told her parents, but she knew her mother had seen the change in her. Fortunately, she hadn’t dug for answers.
“Kiera, it’s actually very easy.” Molly leaned into her, and they rested their heads together. “He is a tortured soul.” She looked over at Molly. “He has no one that cares for him, and what he is doing, although it hurts you both, is something he thinks is right. I’m all about giving him time, but I can see the misery in both of you.” Molly pushed a lock of hair away from her face and smiled. “He loves you, I can tell.” Hearing Molly say Reese loved her had Kiera’s heart pounding rapidly. Could he really love her? “I’m not saying that Reese is an angel, but he also isn’t this horrible, frightening asshole everyone plays him out to be. You should follow you heart because before you know it everything is gone.”
Kiera shook her head and looked at Molly. “When did you become so damn smart?” Molly grinned. “When you look at us, what do you see?”
Molly looked confused. “What do you mean?”
“Just that. When you see Reese and me together, what do you see?”
Molly’s face softened, and she smiled. “You and those damn deep questions. I’m going to tell you exactly what I think, but I want you to really listen to me, okay?”
Kiera nodded, not really knowing where this was going, because it seemed like Molly was about to sat something pretty important … again.
“I’ve seen Reese before you and him ever talked or started hanging out. He kept to himself, always kept his head low, and didn’t engage unless confronted. Then you came around, and the change in him was evident. The whole freaking school was talking about it.” Kiera didn’t remember any of that, and as if Molly read her mind, she said, “You were too engrossed in each other to realize what was going on. Hell, I don’t even think Reese knew he was being talked about. I’m sure if he did he would have put a stop to it.” Molly shrugged but kept her eyes on Kiera. “I think that the way things turned out sucks in a big way, but ask yourself if you can go off to OSU without a backward glance. Can you put what you and Reese had behind you just because he did what you asked, and is giving you time to think things through?” Molly pushed herself up and sat cross-legged on her bed, facing Kiera. “I saw how happy you were. For as long as I’ve known you there has never been a time when you were like that. You always use your head, Kiera, but this time you went with your heart.”
With that Molly stood and grabbed her purse. “Just remember what you could have, and not what might happen if you gave yourself a chance with Reese. You’re stubborn, and it is clear so is he. Clearly he thinks he is doing the right thing, but this is where you need to take charge and show him what it is that you really want.” She kissed Kiera on the top of the head and left her alone with those simple, yet very powerful words.
“Damn you, Molly,” Kiera said to herself and smiled. Moving over to the window she looked outside. His life was hard, with a traumatic past. He didn’t think he was good enough for anything, especially her, and she knew that a part of his distance was because of that. Letting him have all this time to think about things surely wasn’t good for anyone, because all she could think about was the vile thoughts running through his head. She needed to tell him that he was worthy, that their relationship was worthy, and that she loved him more than anything else. Thinking over those thoughts only solidified her belief on what she needed to do. A knock on her bedroom door had her turning away from the window. Her bedroom door swung open, and Alex asked to come in.
“Is it okay if we talk?”
She nodded and sat on the edge of her bed. Alex moved closer and sat beside her. The room grew quiet as they sat side-by-side.
“You’ve been so sad, Goober.” Alex looked over at her, the pain in her big brother’s face clear.
Kiera whispered, “I know.” She hadn’t gone into detail with anyone, aside from Molly, how she felt concerning Reese.
Alex nodded and dropped his head again. He stared at his hands, and she found herself doing the same. They were big and tanned, like their father’s.
“It’s because of Reese, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
He nodded again. After a moment he exhaled and lifted his head to look at her.
“That day he came over, he said some things to me.” She knew they had spoken, or more like yelled at each other, but she hadn’t been able to hear what was being said. Kiera kept quiet and waited for him to continue. “I told him that if he ever came by you again I’d kill him, that he would never hurt you again.” Alex took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “I was so pissed that he made you cry, Kiera. All I wanted was him to hurt. He told me he loved you, that you were the only thing in his life worth something.” Alex lifted his eyes to hers. “I wanted to believe that he just sa
id those things because I was going to kick his ass, but I’d be lying if I said he didn’t mean every damn word. I saw it in his eyes, Kiera. That guy loves you so deeply that he just stood there and let me kick the shit out of him despite the fact he could have held his own.” Alex smiled. “While my fist kept slamming into his face, he kept repeating that he loved you.”
He brother’s words had everything around her disappearing until she couldn’t focus on anything but his words. “He said that? He told you he loved me?”
Alex shook his head. “Yeah, the stupid bastard.” He chuckled then, an honest one filled with amusement. “Here I was, letting him have it, and the asshole was telling me he was in love with my little sister.” Alex turned toward her. “That’s better.” He chucked her under the chin, and her watery smile grew. “You have that light back in your eyes.”
The tears came fast and strong, but this time she didn’t brush them away. She didn’t bother telling Alex that Reese was the one keeping his distance. None of that mattered. She loved him, and he loved her, and Kiera was sick of them being apart. She would make him see reason, make him realize that they were good and right together. Things had gone downhill so fast, and she shouldn’t have told him she needed time and thus pushed him away. He was doing what she wanted, and she hadn’t told him how she felt before he was gone. Her time just got away from her, and with each passing day she knew the mistake she had made. Kiera should have just talked to him, worked through these problems, and been with the guy she loved. It was time for everything to level out once again.
“I may not like it, but I can’t stand to see you like this. The guy loves you, and it is clear you love him. You should get what makes you happy, Kiera, what puts that smile on your face.” He held her face in his hands and leaned forward to press a light kiss in the center of her forehead. “But if he ever makes you cry again I will break his arms and legs.” Kiera laughed and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.
“Thank you, Alex.”
“For what, Goober?”
“For being the best big brother a girl could ask for.” She pulled back and smiled genuinely for the first time since everything changed. “And also for letting me use your truck.” He chuckled and reached into his pockets to give her his keys. Kiera didn’t waste another minute as she slipped on her shoes and raced out of the house. She needed to find Reese.
Kiera didn’t know where to start in her search for Reese. It was a Saturday afternoon and knew he worked at the tattoo parlor on occasion, so that was where she went first. There were a ton of cars parked outside the small, rundown looking place, but she knew that it was a well-known and respected tattoo shop. She didn’t see Reese’s Trans-Am, but thought it might be parked in the back where she couldn’t see it. After parking her car and making her way to the front doors, she realized she felt lightheaded from her nerves. Why was she so nervous? Could it be the fact Reese could turn her away, that maybe all this thinking had made him realize they really wouldn’t work out? What if he realized that the distance had been for the best?
Kiera shook her head, not wanting to go there. She’d worry about if and when the time came.
A bell jingled when she pulled the door open. Classic rock music played loudly, and the buzzing sound of needle blended with the music. “I’ll be with yah in just a few. Take a seat, hun.” An older man with a long white beard and tattoos covering his arms and even neck called out as he hunched over a middle-aged woman’s back. From the distance Kiera could make out the image of a Koi fish on her shoulder blade. She sat down on the black, ratty leather couch and grabbed a magazine. The cover showed a heavily tattooed woman in nothing but a few strips of fabric. After ten minutes of Kiera flipping through the pages the older man with the white bead stopped in front of her.
“What can I do for yah?” Kiera stood and set the magazine to the table beside her. Was this Max, the owner and the only person Reese had ever looked up to?
“Um.” She looked around in hopes that Reese would magically appear from the backroom so this would be so much easier. “I’m actually looking for someone. Thought he might be here.” He didn’t say anything, just lifted an incredibly bushy eyebrow and waited for her to continue. “Is Reese Trenton working today?” A flash of surprise washed over the man’s face, and she wondered if it was because someone in general was looking for him. That thought made her feel incredibly sad.
“Reese?’ He slowly said his name, and Kiera nodded.
“He, uh, he told me he worked here, but not his schedule or anything.” Kiera had tried calling him when she first got in the truck, but since he didn’t answer she had no way of knowing where the hell he was. She nervously twisted her hands together in front of her.
“Yeah, he works here, just not today.” He didn’t move from right in front of her, just continued to watch her with dark, knowing eyes. She got the strange feeling that this man knew her, despite the fact she had never met him. Had Reese talked about her to him?
“Oh. Okay, thanks.” She turned to leave, but he called out to her. She stopped and faced him.
“I just want you to know Reese is a good man.” Kiera nodded, because yes, she knew this, but was a bit confused as to why he was telling her. “He wouldn’t talk to me about what was bothering him, but I knew it was because of you.”
Kiera turned fully around and knitted her brows at his words. “I don’t understand what you mean.”
“Kiera right?” At her nod he continued. “I have known Reese for a very long time, and when he told me about this girl, you, that meant everything to him, I knew you were something special. He has always kept to himself, never thought he was good enough, and got into more trouble then I liked. He’s a good boy, though, and I love him like my own. He keeps things to himself, thinking that talking about his problems will burden others around him. So when I brought you up I could tell by the way he tensed and refused to talk about it that things with you two weren’t right.” Max took a deep breath and walked over to the front desk. He stood behind it for a moment, clearly contemplating what to say next. “I shouldn’t be saying this to you, because it ain’t my business, but I have a piece of advice for you, since he clearly won’t listen to me. Never take something that makes your heart race or your gut clench for granted. There are not too many things in life worth fighting for, but when you care about someone, it’s only then that you walk to the ends of the world to make it work.” His words hung in the air, and emotion struck Kiera fast and hard.
“Thank you for that.”
He gave her a tight nod. “But I can’t help you ‘cause I don’t know where he is. All he told me was he had been doing a lot of thinking.”
“Thank you again.” Kiera stepped out of the shop and just stood there. It didn’t take her long to realize where he probably was. She got back in the truck and started heading for Mr. Kline’s property, but she made a few turns and ended up driving slowly by Reese’s house, or what she assumed to be his house. Her mother’s words about the Trenton’s home, and the fact Reese said he lived on the wrong side of the tracks, had her hoping she was going in the right direction. The house, if it could be called that, looked like it was on its last leg. The paint was chipped and even bare in some places, and the roof was in desperate need of being repaired. The yard was bare of grass, although there were a few brown patches sporadically placed. Reese’s car wasn’t out front, but she did see an older man who was just as big as Reese stumble out of the house. He all but dragged a frail looking woman by the hand behind him. She knew, without a doubt, that those were his parents. The man held a bottle of liquor in one hand, and the woman was giggling uncontrollably. It was clear they were drunk, high, or both. Anger filled her, and she played with the idea of going up to the man and kicking him in the balls, and shaking the woman until she saw reason. She knew, deep in her gut, that they were Reese’s parents. Instead of stopping and giving them a piece of her mind, she pressed her foot on the gas and tightened her hands on the steering wheel.
She pulled into the small strip of dirt off the side of the road and got out of the truck. The walk back to the pond seemed like it took forever, and her heart was beating a mile a minute. She wasn’t worried about Kline finding out she was trespassing, because her thoughts were solely focused on Reese. Kiera just hoped he was at the barn, because if he wasn’t the only other place she could think of looking was at Marcus’s. She finally reached the barn and stepped over the various piece of debris that littered the ground. Remembrance from her last time here filled her mind and made her move quicker. Everything was so still and silent that she feared she had been wrong and Reese wasn’t here, but she rounded the corner and stepped into that little room Reese had confided to her in, and touched her so intimately. There he was, lying on the ground with his eyes closed and his ear buds in. For a moment all she did was stare at him. It seemed like so long since she had seen him last. He was big and strong with his legs stretched out before him and crossed at the ankle, and his hands clasped behind his head. The urge to go to him, wrap her arms around his middle and hold him close was so strong that she started to do just that, but even with his eyes closed and his hearing blocked by the loud, angry music coming from his iPod, Reese sensed her. He snapped his eyes open and turned his head so he was looking at her. For long seconds she didn’t move, didn’t even breathe. Slowly he pushed himself up and turned off his iPod. His throat worked as he swallowed, and she could hear the force of it from where she stood. Now that she was so close to him she didn’t know what to say.
“What are you doing here?” He swallowed again.
“Reese, I—” The words stayed clogged in her throat, and she took a steadying breath. “I’m sorry, but please don’t shut me out anymore. I know you think this is what I want, and I know I made you feel that way. I was stupid for thinking I needed time to think about things and work through whatever it was that bothered me. This time away from you has been so hard for me, and I know that it isn’t what was right. God, Reese, I love you so much.” She hoped he could see that her words meant so much more. They held all of her emotion, all of her feelings, and most of all, all of her love for Reese Trenton. He stood slowly, and Kiera found herself taking a step back, worried that he would tell her to leave. He hadn’t responded, and the weight of her words hung in the air between them.