by Sam Elswit
Phil followed me to the high tables that overlooked the bowling lanes. “Are they supposed to be different colors like this?”
“You really haven’t been bowling before, have you?” I asked with a chuckle.
“No. I told you.”
“That’s such a strange concept.”
“Why?”
“Well, I used to come here all the time. I practically grew up here.”
“That sounds nice.” He smiled as he stood up, trying out his shoes. It was only then that I noticed how tall he really was. He towered over me by nearly a head. I held my breath, feeling my heart speeding up just a bit.
“I think these should work.” He glanced over at Emily who was still flirting her way to a few free games. It was no wonder that she never had cash on her – she rarely needed it. “Emily’s really friendly with that guy, isn’t she?”
“She’s friendly with every guy. I’m surprised she hasn’t tried to go after you yet.”
“Oh…” His voice dropped and his cheeks turned bright red. “She didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what?” I tilted my head, watching as he shifted from foot to foot like he was nervous.
“Well, I don’t exactly like girls. If you know what I mean…”
It took me a minute to realize what he was saying. When it finally hit me, my eyes widened with surprise.
This guy was gay?
Chapter 6
Phil
Ben stared at me for a while. Beads of sweat started to form on the back of my neck, even though the bowling alley was air-conditioned. I became even more nervous.
“Well, welcome to the club.” He finally said, a warm smile on his face. “Anyway, we should probably snag a lane before this place fills up. If I remember correctly, Fridays are Cosmic Bowling Nights.”
“What is that?”
“They turn on the black lights so everything glows in the dark.” He glanced in my direction. “That white shirt of yours is about to light up like a firefly.”
“Really?” I looked down at my plain white t-shirt, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious for not wearing something else.
“Yeah.” He laughed. “Don’t worry about it. You won’t be the only one.”
“Oh… okay…” My voice was barely a whisper. Being next to Ben was causing my body to go into overdrive. My heart was beating faster than ever, my breathing was ragged, and worst of all, I was sweating like I had just run a marathon.
“Come on, let’s go. If we wait for Emily, we’ll never go bowling.” He reached out, almost like he was going to grab my hand, but right before our fingers could brush together, he pulled away. With his cheeks turning red, he shoved his hands into his pocket and headed toward the lanes. We settled in lane 27, next to a group of girls who spent more time looking at their phones and taking selfies than they did playing the game. “So, do I have to explain the basics to you?”
“Um…” I rubbed the back of my neck. “Why don’t you go first?”
Ben nodded. “But first, we need to get you a bowling ball. You want one that you can comfortably pick up. It should be heavy, but not so heavy that you struggle with it. Personally, I play with a ten-pound ball… but…” He paused, looking him over. His eyes rolled over my body, lingering on my arms. Without thinking, I flexed slightly, causing my muscles to tense, giving my forearm added definition.
I could almost hear Ben suck in a sharp breath of air before he averted his sight, focusing once more on the bowling balls. “Yeah… you’d probably do well with a 13, maybe even a fourteen.”
“Oh, okay.” I reached for a purple and pink ball marked with a bright red 14 on the side. With two hands, I picked it up.
“How does it feel.”
“Good, I guess.”
“Well, you’d get a better feel for it if you held it properly.”
“What is Phil holding properly?” Emily appeared right behind you. “I thought you two would get along, but I didn’t think you’d make it to third base this fast.”
“Shut up.” Ben snapped his face a bright shade of red.
My own face was heating up at her comment. Out of the corner of my eye, I admired Ben’s profile. He was lean with the sort of body-type that looks like it was chiseled by a master artist. I could only imagine what he would look like without his tight-fitting tank top or his dark-colored skinny jeans.
Emily giggled. “Looks like Phil is enjoying the mental picture I just gave him.” She squeezed my shoulder. “You’re welcome.” With a mischievous smirk on her face, she grabbed a bright pink ball and headed over to our wall. “Oh, and try not to make out too hard, I do actually want to play tonight.”
The second she left, we fell into silence. I refused to look at him, knowing my whole face was painted in a dark shade of red. Ben probably thought I was a pervert or something…
“Don’t listen to her,” Ben said, shaking his head. “She just likes to hear herself talk.” He grabbed his ball and walked past me, still refusing to look me in the eye.
Something told me this was going to be a long and awkward night…
Sighing, I joined the siblings, sitting down beside Emily as Ben fiddled with the keypad, punching in our names to the overhead screen.
“So, what took you so long at the counter? I hope you at least got us a few free games with all your flirting.”
“Who says I was flirting?” She asked, reclining into her seat. “If you think that’s flirting, you’re never going to win Phil’s heart.”
“Can you stop it?” Ben snarled, almost like the thought of being with me angered him.
My heart ached at the realization. Ben might have been gay, just as I was, but that didn’t mean he was interested in me. The sinking feeling of rejection wrapped around me, causing my shoulders to sag and my fingers to tense. I should have known better than to get my hopes up…
I started to pick at the threads in my jeans when Ben got up. From under my eyelashes, and with my head still bent low, I watched him insert his fingers into the three holes and pick up the ball with ease. Once he reached the beginning of the lane, he bent his below, bringing the ball up to his chest.
In that moment, nothing else seemed to matter to me. I was fixated on him, even as the lights dimmed, and dazzling strobe lights filled the large room with neon colors.
My eyes settled on his shaggy black hair. It brushed against the back of his neck, not quite covering it entirely. His pale flesh seemed to glow, filling me with an urge to walk up to him and run my lips along it.
Before my fantasy could develop any further, he moved into action. He took a step back, bending his front leg slightly before he lowered his arm bringing it behind him before he swung it forward in a perfect arch. At just the right moment, he dropped the ball, letting it glide along the slick surface.
“He’s never going to make it,” Emily whispered, her lips twitching in amusement.
Sure enough, the ball looked like it was headed straight for the gutter.
But, at the last possible second, it started to curve inward. I was amazed by the abrupt change in trajectory, my mouth hanging agape as the ball slammed into the middle pin. The impact caused all the others to tumble to the ground.
“A strike?” Emily, huffed, getting to her feet. “That’s impossible. You were supposed to be bad at this game.”
Ben turned on his heels, a smug look on his face. “What can I say, practice makes perfect.”
“What practice? You haven’t been here in years.” Emily was staring down her brother, tapping her clown shoe with frustration.
Ben shrugged. “A lot of Wii bowling.”
I laughed at his comment, knowing that the movements of the little Mii characters looked nothing like the elegant form Ben had used when he made his shot.
Emily, however, did not look amused. With her lips pressed into a hard line, she yanked her ball off the conveyor and ran up the lane. Without stopping, she threw the ball, lobbing it into the middle. From there, it took
a straight path toward the pins, knocking down everything except the two furthest ones.
Ben burst out laughing, falling into the seat beside me, holding his stomach as tears started to form in the corners of his eyes. His laugh was infectious, filling my ears like well-composed music. I found myself laughing alongside him.
Emily gave us the stink eye as she waited for her ball to come back up. She grabbed it with such fury that I thought she would chuck it at us, but, to my relief, she once again lobbed it toward the leftmost pin, knocking it down.
Without saying a word to us, she sat down as far away as possible. She took out her cellphone, blending in perfectly with the ground of girls sitting behind her.
“Alright, it’s your turn.” Ben prompted, still a little breathless from his laughing fit. “Let’s see if you can’t do better than my sister.”
“Um… she did pretty well…” I whispered, unsure if I would even be able to get the ball all the way down the lane. Besides us, one of the girls had accidentally dropped her ball and it had rolled right into the gutter.
“Don’t worry, you can do better.” He said, grabbing my hand and pulling me toward the conveyor.
My heart skipped a beat the second he touched me. It was like I had just been shocked with a defibrillator, my body jolting in reaction.
I think he must have felt it too because he looked up at me, our eyes locking. Just then, a purple light shone in our direction, illuminating his facial features, from the sharp angle of his nose, to those dark, gorgeous eyes of his. Without thinking, I leaned down, getting closer. It was like his soft, pink lips were calling out to mine, making me yearn for them.
Our breaths mixed together in the small space between us. My heart beat faster, supposing the tempo of the techno song currently blasting through the speakers.
Then, just when I thought I would taste his sweet lips, he pulled away. “Come on. The ball won’t throw itself.” He prompted.
I swallowed back the feeling of disappointment and picked up the ball. Too embarrassed to speak, I walked up to the lane and started to mimic Ben’s actions. I brought the ball up to my rampaging chest, took a minute to center myself before I dropped my arm back down and swinging it forward.
When the moment was right, I let go of the ball, or at least I tried to. My fingers got stuck in the hole, causing me to fall forward, propelled by the ball’s momentum.
My foot crossed the black line and a loud beep emerged from the screen.
I tried to stop myself, but it was impossible to get any traction on the slick terrain. My feet slipped out from under me and the next thing I knew I was taking a swan dive to the floor. I feel – hard. My brain felt like it was rattling around in my skull. If I was in a cartoon, there’d be a couple of stars floating around my head.
“Phil!” Ben and Emily called my name, crossing into the lane to help me.
Quickly, I tried to scramble to my feet, mortified to face Ben after making a complete fool of myself.
As I did so, my feet once again refused to find traction. It was like I was standing on ice. I fell once more – this time completely face planting.
Before I could attempt to stand for a third time, someone grabbed me by the hands, hoisting me to my feet.
Ben.
“Are you okay?” He asked, his voice full of compassion. He squeezed my hands, waiting for an answer.
“Um… I…” I struggled to find my words. It was only then that I realized just how close he was. I could feel the heat radiating from his body. “You…”
He cocked his head to the side, causing wisps of his hair to fall into his eyes.
I nearly eared out to brush them away, feeling like I could stare into them forever.
“Alright, you two, get off the lane.” Emily chided from behind the black line. “Before you get us all kicked out.”
Chapter 7
Ben
I had no idea why I held his hands. I could have helped him to his feet some other way, but I instinctually went for his hands. I blushed, letting go as soon as I heard my sister’s voice.
“Just be careful,” I said, walking slowly so I wouldn’t fall.
Phil was quiet as he did the same.
Once we were behind the black line, Phil headed over to the seating area, but I grabbed his wrist before he could get too far. “Where do you think you’re going?” I asked.
“Oh…” His cheeks were on fire and I could see them getting redder, even in the bowling alley’s darkness. “I didn’t think you still wanted me to play…”
I shook my head. “Nonsense. One little setback shouldn’t stop you from playing.” I smiled in his direction before I grabbed his ball, handing it to him.
He hesitated, but eventually placed his fingers in the holes and walked up to the lane. This time, I followed him, standing right behind him. There couldn’t have been more than an inch between our bodies as I grabbed his arm and guided him through the motions.
As I did so, I could feel butterflies taking flight in my stomach. I tried to ignore them, but the longer I stayed in this position, the more they fluttered around.
I didn’t know what it was, exactly, but this guy was affecting me in ways I had never quite felt before.
It was intoxicating.
I thought back to the beginning of my relationship with Andy. Back then, even he had made me want to fly, but this was different. Much different. Phil made me feel alive. Every breath I took was laced with his scent, making me feel like an addict reaching new highs.
“Alright, this time, make sure to actually let go,” I said, taking a step back to give him some space. Doing so made me feel incomplete.
What was going on? How could I feel this strongly about a man I had only just met?
As I tried to make sense of these newfound feelings, Phil went through the motions, letting the ball fly from his fingers at exactly the right time. It glided effortlessly toward its destination, slamming into the middle pin. His throw wasn’t quite as powerful as mine, which meant the pins didn’t explode on impact but instead dominoed into a heap.
The very last pin tottered.
I held my breath as it rattled.
And then, it fell, joining all the rest.
“Ugh!” Emily screamed. She had always hated to lose. “How did the newbie get a spare but I didn’t?” I was certain my sister was just about to storm off, but before she could get up, William appeared with a tray of food and booze.
Emily grinned. “Oh, you two don’t stand a chance now!”
“Yeah, because that 7/10 split was a result of your hunger, wasn’t it?” I teased her. “You’re just bitter that Phil is a better bowler than you are.” I patted him on the back, guiding him to our seats.
“He’s not better than I am.” She huffed, stuffing her face with a couple of French fries before drowning them in beer. “He just got lucky. It’ll run out.”
“Don’t listen to her. She’s a sore loser.” With these words, I rested my hand on his knee, rubbing it gently, my actions a product of my unconscious mind.
He looked down at my hand, biting his lip.
My eyes widened when I realized what I was doing. I yanked my hand away and gulped, knowing that Phil could take it the wrong way and think I was a total creep. “Sorry… I didn’t mean to… I wasn’t…”
“That’s right, stop fondling Phil and take your turn already,” Emily called out, only making matters worse.
“Shut up.”
She chuckled. “Try not to choke.”
I pegged her off and grabbed my ball. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her cozying up to William, her hands on his chest. She always did that when she was interested in someone – or at least pretended to be.
On the other hand, I noticed Phil was sitting ramrod straight in his seat, watching me intently. I wondered what was going through his head. Did he feel as affected by my touch as I did by his? Could he feel that sense of longing in the air between us or was it just me?
I took a deep breath, dismissing all these feelings as a result of my recent breakup with Andy. I was just lonely, looking for someone to fill that void. It was nothing more than that. No legitimate feelings were involved.
With these thoughts running through my head, I made my first throw. I could immediately tell that I had messed up. The ball was going too fast and there wasn’t enough time for it to properly curve. It slammed into the rightmost pins, leaving more than half of them still standing.
I expected Emily to start ridiculing me at any moment, but to my surprise, the insults never came.