by Ami Urban
"Welcome home, hero." Jack was at the stove with a spatula. I stayed in the doorway until he turned around. "You ready for...? What's the matter?"
He must have seen the serious look on my face because I could feel it. "Jack."
"Hey, you got amazing news today. You aren't happy?"
I took a deep breath. "Jack. We need to talk."
"What's up? Did something happen? Did the girl relapse?"
I shook my head. "No."
He wiped his hands on a dish towel, but stayed at the stove. "What is it?"
"The only way to make sure the vaccine gets out is with animal testing then human trials."
"Okay."
"But animal testing can take decades."
Jack's face went blank. "Lisa..."
"We have to skip straight to human trials."
There was a silence between us that stretched out too long. "Please tell me you didn't..."
My trained etiquette wouldn't allow my gaze to fall to the floor. All I could say was, "I had to."
"What do you mean, you had to?" Jack's voice dropped to a low tenor — a sure sign he wasn't happy. "You didn't have to do anything. You've done plenty already. Now tell me you didn't inject yourself with an experimental drug that could kill you!"
"I'm sorry."
Jack put his hands to his face. "Oh, my God, Lisa. Are you...are you fucking serious?" His voice began to rise. "You're telling me that you're totally okay with abandoning your family for an experiment?! Did you stop for one second to think about your own son? How I'm going to have to take care of him now? How am I going to tell him his own mother would rather sacrifice herself to her job?"
"I did think of you." I kept my voice low and calm, but Jack let out an exasperated laugh.
"At what point? Before or after you slid the needle into your arm?"
"Jack, please."
"No, Lisa. Seriously. What were you thinking?"
"I was thinking about you!" I couldn't hold my tone down any longer. "I was thinking of you and Alex and Rex! I was thinking of all the people who've lost loved ones to this completely preventable disease. I was thinking about how I could fix everything with a small sacrifice."
"Small?! How is this a small sacrifice?"
"The needs of the many over the needs of the few."
Jack's eyes narrowed at me. "You'd rather break our hearts than let someone else volunteer."
"No. I'd rather sacrifice myself than bring this upon any more people."
He rubbed his hands over his face. "That was really...really stupid." Emotion flooded his voice as his entire body deflated. "I don't know if I can take care of two kids on my own."
"Jack. I'm confident this will work."
He sniffed. "Your confidence usually gets me through a lot. But right now...it's not much to bank on."
I tilted my head to one side and approached him, laying a hand on his arm. "Will you come be with me while I'm quarantined?"
His eyes squeezed shut as a sigh escaped him. "How could I not?" His voice was soft. "Let's go."
February 5
It took everything I had to keep it together while the kids were with us. When we arrived at the lab, Dr. Holmes and three other assistants were waiting. I tried not to glare at the doctor, but it was difficult.
They prepped her by putting her in a gown and showing her to the quarantine room. It was a tiled area with a bed and bathroom. A large window filled the wall for viewing purposes.
Lisa stopped to say farewell to us. Alex kept as strong as she could while hugging her aunt. But Rex was busy playing with his toy cars on a nearby bench. She bent to speak to him.
"Rex, sweetie? Mommy is going to be gone for a while, okay? You won't see me for a few days."
"A few days." He repeated her statement without giving her eye contact.
"I love you, baby boy." She attempted to give him a kiss on the head, but he leaned away. I felt awkward, but it was just another day in the life of the two of them. She stood as though it didn't faze her. But as she walked away, Rex looked up and called to her.
"Love you, momma. Miss you, momma."
Lisa smiled then turned to me. I swallowed hard as her gaze bore into mine. The woman I loved more than I thought possible was leaving. She might come back or she might die. I had no idea. We had to wait three agonizing days to find out.
"I guess I'm...not allowed to kiss you, right?" I asked, touching the side of her face.
She shook her head. "I'm fine while in the incuba—"
"Good." I interrupted her by pulling her entire body into mine for a long kiss. It was one I wasn't going to let her forget. All my emotions flooded out of me and into her. I wanted her to feel how much she meant to us.
"Come back to us." I whispered the words as I pressed my forehead against hers.
"I will."
The door closed in my face. I moved to the glass window. She pressed a hand against it and I did the same on the opposite side. My chest felt hollow as if my heart had followed her in there. I had a bad feeling.
"Oh." I turned to find the bag she'd brought with her. After rifling through it, I brought out a book and handed it to Dr. Holmes. "Her journal. She likes to write it in and document everything. Will you make sure she gets it?"
He nodded. "Of course."
***
The next day, I pulled the kids out of school and called in sick to work. It was useless, though since the entire town knew what was going on. I felt like an experiment myself. Everyone was watching us and trying to give their support. But I didn't want it. I wanted my life back. It got to the point where I was wallowing in so much self-pity that Alex made me go to the lab to see Lisa.
At first, they told me she needed to rest, but I told them that was bullshit, so they let me watch her on a grainy monitor. She seemed okay — she mostly walked around aimlessly or laid in the bed.
"Your wife's a very brave woman." Dr. Holmes stood next to me.
I sighed. "Yeah. We're not so much. Honestly, Doc, I don't know how you let her do this."
"Me?" He looked at me as though I'd called him a terrible name. "I told her not to mess with it. I told her we had to follow protocol. She did this of her own accord."
We were silent for a moment, watching Lisa fiddle with the tray of food she'd been given.
"As a matter of plain fact, I was on my way back here to do exactly what she'd done."
I looked at the doctor. "You should learn to drive faster."
He hummed a half-agreement. "I understand your frustration. You may see her for a moment, but I'm afraid we need a controlled test area."
***
A loud clang echoed through the garage followed by a loud curse from me.
"MacGuyver, that is the third time you've dropped that wrench in twenty minutes and it's getting on my fucking nerves. What the hell is wrong with you?" Kelli stood over me like the Great Wall of China.
She screwed up her face. "The fuck did you just say to me?"
Oops. Guess I'd said it out loud.
"And why the hell are you back here? This car just needs an oil change!"
I waved her off and trudged toward the front of the car. Alex must have heard the commotion as she'd left Rex with his book and came over to help.
"And just what do you think you're doing, little lady?" Kelli's angry toned turned down to a stern motherly scolding.
"Uncle Jack taught me how to change oil. I can help."
"Is that so?" Kelli looked at me.
"Yup. Better believe it." I patted the girl on her head.
My boss eyed me. "Have you...have you been drinking, movie boy?"
"Me?" The wrench slipped out of my hand again. "I'm gonna change my last name to Daniels."
I thought it was funny. But she didn't. So, I spent the next thirty-six hours either sitting by the phone waiting for that fateful call or wallowing in self-indulgence. Kelli even took the kids to stay with her until, in her words, I got my shit together.
I hated
to tell her that "my shit" left when Lisa injected herself with a deadly virus. Then I got called selfish. Then I got slapped. I think. I can't really remember. I do remember my face hurting pretty badly once I got back to the house. But that could have been because I tripped on the sidewalk or something.
My entire body was starting to feel itchy. I had to do something. So I left the house and walked until the lab came into view. Then I marched straight up to the fifth floor and into the viewing room. There, I watched the most beautiful woman I'd ever met throw things at the glass window inside the quarantine room.
And I immediately sobered up.
"What the hell is going on?" I burst into Dr. Holmes's office.
He stood. "Mr. Reynolds. Please calm down."
"Don't tell me to fucking calm down! My wife is rabid, isn't she? Isn't she?!"
Dr. Holmes put up his hands. "Relax. She's fine. She's just a bit irritated at being cooped up. She's still eating and drinking fine. There are no signs of the virus. Not even a fever."
That quelled my anger enough to sit in a chair next to his desk.
"Would you like a cup of coffee?"
"No." I spotted the journal sitting on the corner of his desk where I'd left it. "Wait...why haven't you given this to her?"
He looked at it, pondering its existence. "Well...I didn't quite see the point."
I stood up again. "You didn't? And why not? No, no, wait. Don't tell me. Because you don't think she'll make it out of there."
The doctor cleared his throat. "Mr. Reynolds..."
"Stop treating me like I'm a baby who needs a bottle."
He straightened. "If you insist. With our track record of mishaps in this lab, I truly give the situation about a twenty-five percent chance of succeeding."
"Oh, Jesus Christ." I gripped the side of his desk.
"Until your wife came along. With her track record, I'd say there's an eighty percent chance."
I pushed my hair back with both hands while groaning. "You should probably have led with that, doc."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't they teach you bedside manners in medical school?"
"Well, I actually wasn't a doctor before the outbreak. I—"
While holding a hand to my chest, I held the other in front of me. "Please, doc. No more revelations. I don't think my heart could take it. I also don't think your face could."
"Duly noted." Dr. Holmes put both hands behind his back. "Now then, Mr. Reynolds, you've got...twelve more hours. Would you mind terribly...?"
I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, sure..." I turned to leave right as his office door slammed open. One of the lab assistants stormed in.
"Dr. Holmes! Dr. Reynolds has lost consciousness!"
I didn't even hesitate. I didn't even ask. I just followed them all down the corridor. There was no way in hell I was going to let my wife die.
From the Desk of Dr. Lisa James Reynolds
February 8
My stomach was churning. I felt ill. Fog filled my brain. Everything was dark. I couldn't escape. I supposed it was how I went. Nothingness.
But slowly, my surroundings came to me. The faint beeping of a heart monitor. The hum of fluorescent lighting. When I opened my eyes, white replaced the black. I could hardly move. Grogginess filled my senses.
I rolled my head to the left. Sunlight streamed through a tall window. A vase of orange flowers sat on the bedside table. Then I noticed the shackle. It was taught around my left wrist. I still wasn't out of the water.
I struggled a bit against it to get comfortable. That was when I woke Jack. He'd been asleep against the bed, bent over in a chair. When he saw me, he jumped up and gave me seven kisses.
"Jesus...I'm so glad you're okay."
"How long have I been out?"
He glanced at the leather bands. "About ten hours. They want to keep you restrained for a few more."
I nodded. "Sounds about right."
Jack slid a hand underneath mine. "I was so scared."
I squeezed. "Everything will be okay."
The door opened to Dr. Holmes holding a clip board. When his gaze met mine, his eyes widened in what I assumed was surprise.
"Ah, you're up."
"How are my vitals?"
Dr. Holmes chuckled. "My dear, you have no trace of the virus in you. I've already attempted contact with what's left of the government and the CDC. I'm hoping to receive notice of their cooperation any day now."
Excitement bubbled into my chest. "That's fantastic. Can we undo these things, please?" I lifted my hands as far off the bed as I could. Jack and Dr. Holmes helped me out of them.
"There is one more thing."
Jack and I both froze.
While checking his chart, the doctor scratched at his chin. "We found elevated levels of human chorionic gonadotropin in your blood. Do what you wish with that information. I'll leave the two of you alone to discuss it."
As soon as the door closed, Jack looked at me with concern written all over his face. I could tell he was scared to death that something was wrong.
"What does that mean? Are you sick?" He seemed to search me all over for signs of something.
"No."
He stopped and sat on his heels. "What's going on?"
"Jack. HCG is a hormone your body makes when it's pregnant."
He opened his mouth to say something, but quickly closed it once again. We were silent for a few seconds, just reveling in the hum of those lights.
"What are you talking about right now?"
"I'm pregnant."
"Holy shit."
"I'm open to discussion."
"Discussion of what, Foxtrot? If this means I'm gonna be a daddy, then I'm all for it!"
***
A few days later when the CDC finally arrived, there were only three men left in the entire organization. After a few talks, it was established that only those just bitten would be given the cure as the others were too far gone.
The vaccine would be distributed as denoted by birth month. The schedule allowed survivors to be done in just three short months, this giving enough time for the current infected victims to die off.
Jack, Rex and Alex were the first to receive the vaccine. The others I administered to almost every person in the town. The three months passed as if it were days. And even though there were discussions of what we'd do once let free, we never really settled on a definite plan. But the day those doors opened were bliss.
May 17
Now what do we do? No idea. The four of us are just having fun running around in the grass for a while. The sun is shining and a light breeze is stirring. To be honest, there's nowhere else I'd rather be. Lisa says the same.
I found a nice spot to sit. Looks like it used to be a fountain. It's empty now and crumbling with weeds sticking out of its cracks. I can see Lisa at the gates still. She's just ironing out a few details I guess.
She's done now. And coming toward me. God, she's beautiful. Even more so now that we're free. She sits next to me and I give her just a little kiss. It's little because there's more to come. We have our lives ahead of us now. And she agrees this is a life now.
Rex and Alex are running around after each other. Rex already has grass stains on his knees. Lisa says something about how she'll have to wash them again.
And she laughs. It's such a heart-warming sound. She laughs because she realizes it's a ridiculous statement. It's ridiculous because now we can be normal again.
I watch her. Her hair is moved in wisps by the wind. Her face is serious — hands folded in her lap and watching something that doesn't really seem to be there.
"What are you thinking?" I ask.
She looks at me with a smile. "About how amazing this all is. The grass, the trees. I feel like I've taken nature for granted."
The kids laugh in the background.
I put my arm around Lisa as I write. "Hey. We're a family now. And ever growing."
She touches her slightly rounded stomach. "Another baby. I
honestly never thought it would happen."
"Yeah," I say, "it's a miracle."
She looks at me with that skeptical raised eyebrow. "I don't believe in miracles."
I laugh. "Of course you don't. You never studied religion in college."
She turns back to look at the kids. "No. I didn't."
"Light! Light!"
We turn back to watch as Rex and Alex seem to be looking at
[END SUMMARY]
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Figure 1.1 Map of epidemic: estimated damage 5.5 billion
Figure 2.1 Image of Braycart City " inside wall.
Figure 2.1 Inside the city wall - Braycart
Figure 2.2 Radius of incident.
Figure 3.1 Missing poster for Lisa James
Figure 3.2 Missing poster for Jack Reynolds