by Dixon, Ruby
"Right. Rast." She shifts on the bed, looping her arms over her crossed legs and hugging them to her chest. "But I saw him without sunglasses once and his eyes were that weird solid color like Rast. He told me they were damaged when the Rift opened. I thought maybe he'd just looked directly at the sun and like…they changed. Or that he’d tattooed the whites of his eyes like I saw this one weird chick have done. I don't know. People do strange stuff to their bodies, so I thought that perhaps he'd had something done when he got his teeth sharpened. Now of course, I think I'm an idiot." She huffs a laugh. "I guess we'll make up any sort of excuse to think someone's safe, right?"
I sit up in bed, too, pulling my blankets around my thighs and facing her. "Don't blame yourself. I wouldn't see someone weird looking and automatically think dragon either."
"He was just so normal, you know? I think of Amy's guy and how he just stands behind her and glowers at everyone, and Liam wasn't like that. He was quiet, but never scary. Never…dragon-y. I still can't believe it."
"What does Benny say?"
Her mouth screws up as she thinks about her little brother. "Benny hasn't seen him since Amy and her guy showed up."
"Convenient," I point out.
"Yeah. Real convenient and kinda makes him look real, real guilty." She sighs, gazing off into space.
In a way, I'm glad that Liam has left. One less problem for Fort Shreveport. God knows we have enough of them right now. Andrea looks distressed, though. "Will you miss him?" I ask.
"Huh? Oh, no. I just worry Benny's going to follow." She chews on her lip, frustrated, her gaze distant.
"Not yet, I don't think," I tell her, but the words are cold comfort. Benny's sixteen and at the age where no one can tell him anything. He's a typical teenager, and with only Andrea to parent him, he tends to be trouble. If there's someone caught setting fires or sneaking out after hours, it's normally Benny. He's a shitty kid, but Andrea does the best she can. She's only a few years older than him, so it's hard for her to draw the line between sister and parental figure…and she's the only one he'll listen to. Even then he doesn't listen all the time.
"Mm." Andrea's quiet for a long moment and then glances at the sheet-metal covering where the window in this room used to be, as if she can see the moonlight through it. "Maybe he'll stay if Rast sticks around. For curiosity's sake."
"Maybe," I say encouragingly.
"Dragons," she says with a small shake of her head. Her expression grows wistful again and she looks at the window once more. "I think that's why he's outside the city. He wants someone."
"The dragon?" Of course, I immediately feel stupid for asking. It has to be the damn dragon. No one else is outside waiting…except for the Brothers of Ash. I know Andrea's not talking about them, though. "You think he's looking for Amy, too? Or Liam?"
"No." She shifts in the bed, her body all nervous energy. Her long blonde braid swings over one shoulder and she crosses her legs, tucking them under the oversized construction company T-shirt she wears as a nightgown and making a tent out of it. "I think he's looking for someone else. A mate."
I sit up slowly, because a dragon looking for a mate here in Fort Shreveport could be a real mess. The last thing we need is another problem. "Why do you think that?"
"You heard what Amy said. That her dragon smelled her and knew she was his mate. That has to be why this other's come out of nowhere and zoomed in on our fort. That has to be why he won't leave. He thinks he needs someone in here."
A chill ripples up my arms, making the small hairs stand up. I don't know what scares me more—what she's saying or the eagerness in her voice. "Amy thinks he's looking for someone here, but how would he get their scent? Let's be reasonable."
"Are you kidding? He could get anyone's scent, Gwen! We all go out on scavenging runs or hunting. You, me, Kristine, Cass, Jayla, Shawna, Daniela…"
"Benny," I add in, thinking hard. She's not wrong. Everyone goes in and out of the fort from time to time, except for those too afraid to go out like Kelly, or who have a new baby, like Luz.
Andrea snorts. "The dragon's not interested in Benny."
"How do you know?"
"Because he's a guy dragon."
I have to laugh at her utter confidence. "What, you saw his junk hanging down when he flew overhead one day?"
"No, silly." She throws a pillow at my head, and I dodge it easily. "Because he's gold. Think about it. Rast is gold. Liam? Gold. This dragon? Gold. How come whenever we see a dragon, it's only ever gold or red? Red must be the chick dragons and gold is clearly the dudes."
Wow. She puts it like that and it makes perfect sense. I'll ask Amy about it in the morning, but clearly Andrea's been giving this a lot of thought. I feel guilty that I haven't put as much into it as she has, because this is good information to have and it's logical, too. There's been so much on my plate lately, but I can't shake the “shitty leader” feeling that's taking over me again. I hate this. I never wanted to be leader in the first place, but I stepped up and it's clear I'm awful at it. These people deserve someone better at this than me. "It could be after Benny," I argue. "Might be a gay dragon."
"I think a lot of this seems to be biological," she tells me with a shake of her head. "It's definitely here for a girl."
"You've given this a lot of thought," I tease her.
She clasps her hands in front of her chest like she's praying, and for a moment, she looks completely, utterly radiant. "That's because I think he's here for me."
I stare at my friend, utterly shocked. "No."
"Yes!" She wiggles on the bed, as excited as a kid at Christmas. "I mean, think about it. Who else goes in and out of the city as often as I do?"
"A few people," I admit. We all take our turns on patrol and on scavenging runs. I go out, Cass goes out…but Andrea's right, she does go out more than all the rest of us. Maybe I don't want to believe it because I can't lose Andrea, too. I'm barely coping with the fact that I look over and Daniela's bunk is empty. I don't know what I'll do if I lose my best friend in addition to my sister.
I'll be completely and utterly lost.
"I think it's me," Andrea says again, and she has that look of hopeful rapture on her face. "And I think I can save us, Gwen."
It feels less about saving Fort Shreveport and more about Andrea. I get that, though. She's lonely. We all are. It's hard to trust anyone in the After, and as a woman, it's doubly hard. Everyone wants to use you or own you. Sometimes both at once. It's impossible to trust and there are very few men that come through Fort Shreveport. I've resigned myself to a life of solitude and serving the fort…but maybe Andrea wants something different. I think of Amy and the content, utterly happy look on her face. That's not someone who's abused or terrified of her dragon. That's someone who's loved and full of joy.
It's easy to see why Andrea wants that.
"Are you sure?" I ask, because I feel like I don't know what to think anymore. I'm clearly a terrible judge of people.
"I think so," Andrea tells me, and she gets out of bed and pulls on a pair of ratty jeans. "I mean, there's no downside to this, Gwen. Think about it. I need to meet him. To say hello and introduce myself. If I can talk to him, I can get him to stop attacking. I can have him help protect us like Rast protects Amy. And…" She sighs and straightens, the look on her face growing distant again. "Have you ever seen anyone look at a girl the way Rast watches Amy?"
"No," I admit softly. She wasn't the only one that noticed just how Rast watches his blonde friend. He looks at her like he wants to devour her whole and worship her both at the same time. It isn't just in his eyes, but the way he hovers protectively near her, touching her arm or her elbow as if making sure she needs anything. He’s attentive and gentle and loving—three things I'd never associate with a dragon.
But there's no denying that Rast is wildly in love with Amy and that the feeling is returned.
"This is going to sound corny and romantic," Andrea tells me as she slides a grubby sneaker on. "But if someone's goin
g to love me half as much as he loves her, I want that, Gwen. I want to know what that feels like. There's no downside to this. Not really."
I watch as she pulls her other sneaker on. "You really want to give this a shot?"
"I really do."
"I…is that why you're getting dressed in the middle of the night? Please just tell me you just want some fresh air."
She immediately drops next to me on my bed, excitement gleaming in her eyes. "This is my chance, Gwen. Don't you see? With Rast and Amy here, he's not going to come any closer. She said she's having Rast keep him away. That means if I'm going to meet him, I have to go to him and not the other way around." She grabs my hands. "Please come with me."
"Why? Because I'm a bad judge of character and won't stop you?"
Andrea laughs and flings her arms around my neck. I swear, she's giddy with the prospect of love. I've never seen her so damn excited. It's a little surprising and I'm envious. What's it like to go through life with such hope instead of wondering what you've fucked up this day? I wish I knew. She hugs me tight and wiggles back and forth. "You're not a bad judge of character. You just like to think everyone plays by the same rules you do and then you're let down when no one does."
"Which…makes me a bad judge of character, hello."
She unwraps herself from my embrace and then flies across the room, rummaging through the trunk of her things. She finds a flashlight, shakes it, and the light comes on. "You're not a bad judge of character. Stop saying that. I know you don't think you're a good leader, but it's not like anyone else stepped up to solve the problems, did they? They're happy to let you do it and then bitch at you when it doesn't turn out. I used to watch a TV show back in the Before called Survivor. They separated all these people into tribes and made them vote each other off."
"I remember," I tell her. "Vaguely." Everything from the Before seems like a distant memory at this point. I get up to put my own shoes on, because I might be a terrible judge of character, but I'm also her friend and I'm not going to let her go out without someone to back her up.
"Yeah, well I remember on that show that the smart ones never wanted to be the leader. They knew that the moment it was time to vote someone off, the leader was the one everyone pointed to."
"Great. So now I'm also not smart," I tease.
She snorts and pulls a hoodie over her T-shirt then flips the hood up. "No, dummy. I'm just saying that you're the only one that stepped up and no one else did because they were afraid of being the fall guy. You know it's a shitty job, but you did it anyhow because someone had to. That takes guts. If no one else is going to give you credit for it, I will. It's a thankless job and it's going to be impossible to please everyone. You're going to make mistakes. That doesn't mean you're a bad person. You're doing the best with the hand you were dealt."
I pause as I pull on my sweatpants. That might be the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. I'm emotional and weepy as she moves to my side. "You're a good person, Andrea," I tell her softly. "And you have no idea how much I appreciate you trying to cheer me up."
She grabs my cheeks, pinching them as if I'm a five-year-old and not almost ten years older than her, and the action shoves her flashlight against my cheek. "I'm just trying to make you realize that you're not a bad person. At least you tried. No one else here can say that."
I don't know if “tried but failed” is exactly what you want on your résumé, but I smile at her anyhow, because she's trying really hard to cheer me up. "I guess not."
"Now, come with me? I'll feel better meeting my dragon knowing that I have a friend at my side."
Meeting “her” dragon. Yikes. "So, what's the plan here, Andrea? Slip past the night guard? They're going to want to know what we're doing."
"That's why I'm bringing the mayor with me." She beams.
Like that will stop the questions? "I still have to answer to people! Who's on guard tonight?"
"Eva and Lu."
I groan and shake my head, pulling away from her. "Eva's got the biggest mouth in the settlement. If you want everyone up in your business, then by all means, let's go out the front gate when she's on guard." I move to my own trunk, dragging out the weapons stash I keep hidden. It's not much—brass knuckles and an old can of pepper spray—but it'll buy us time. I set them down and then change into a hooded sweatshirt of my own and shove the items in the front pocket where my hands should go.
"Well…" She hesitates and then clicks off her kinetic flashlight. "So…I swore I wouldn't tell you this, but Benny showed me a secret way into the Fort."
I stare at her, aghast. She's in charge of our security and she's keeping this from me? "What?"
Andrea grimaces and waves a hand, indicating I should quiet. "Not so loud!"
"What hidden way in?" I hiss at her, incredulous.
"There's a gap in the chain link near the old gymnasium—"
"And when were you planning on telling me?"
She winces. "Benny said you'd be upset. He said that Liam showed him."
I clench my jaw, my nostrils flaring. I'm guessing that Benny and Liam made their own back way out of the settlement and Andrea's been protecting her brother. I want to be mad, but wouldn't I do the same for Daniela? So I just stare at her, frustrated.
"I'm sorry, okay? We'll weld it shut tomorrow at first light. Promise." She holds up her fingers in something that's either a girl scout promise or an alien hand sign from an old TV show. For a moment, she looks somber…and then she wiggles like a puppy. "But since we have a way out…"
I groan. "Fine. Let's just get this over with. So we go out the back door. How do we find the dragon after that?"
Andrea grabs my hand in the darkness of our room and squeezes it hard. "I'm pretty sure he's going to find us."
That's kind of what I'm afraid of.
2
VAAN
The scent of my female tickles at the edges of my consciousness.
It teases me with what I cannot have. She is close, yet I cannot get to her. A hive of smelly, unwashed humans and their metal homes separates us. More than that, another drakoni male has moved into the territory, and that poses a problem.
I watch the human hive from high above, on the roof of a large building downwind of the hive itself. When the breeze shifts, I simply move spots until I can smell her again. Her scent is always there, a delicate hint of perfection and femininity. I can smell her sweat, the musk on her skin, and I find myself wondering what her cunt would smell like with my mouth buried in her folds.
It would be the finest of scents, I imagine.
But there is a problem—the male who has moved into the hive and walks among them on two legs. I can smell his scent overpowering everything else…and that of his mate. It is the only reason I allow him to get so close to where my mate hides. He has a female of his own. He is no threat to mine.
That's right. I have my Amy and I do not want yours. Rast's thoughts are reassuring and calm. I have told you this already.
Has he? I do not remember. Nor do I remember broadcasting my thoughts for him to pick up, but my mind is a churning, muddy mess. All I know is that my mate is there, and I cannot get to her. I lower my head, filtering in a deep breath of air and picking through the scents for hers. She is still there. Hiding. I can tear apart their buildings, dig through the hive itself until I locate her scent and steal her for my own.
You will not, Rast tells me. My mate is here and you will not endanger her.
This poses a problem. Normally I would claim such territory as mine and all in it. But this Rast has come in with his mate, and because he is there close to my mate, I cannot attack.
But if I do not attack to defend my territory, it is not my territory.
I have told you, Rast says again, that I will send your mate out to you once we have finished our business here. You cannot attack the human hive. Do not make me fight you. I will win.
His thoughts are strong as a bolt of lightning, and I know he would win. Like thi
s, I am no good to anyone. I was strong once. Fierce.
I…wonder what my mate's cunt smells like. I lift my head, trying to pick such a scent from the air, but there is nothing. I could take the human hive apart…but there is another drakoni male there. I snarl at the realization, my muscles coiling in readiness, fire churning in my belly. Another dragon has moved into my territory…
I have a mate, the male reminds me with a weary sigh.
Who are you?
I am Rast. I have told you this a dozen times already. Impatience bleeds through his thoughts. I will help you find your mate, but you must wait. I do not want you to endanger the humans here in the hive.
You will take her, I snarl.
I will not. I have a mate. Amy. Breathe my scent and know this to be true.
I take a deep breath…and he speaks truly. He is mated, her scent mingling with his fires. I relax and settle down atop my perch again, waiting.
Waiting for my mate. Her scent lingers faint in the air. I do not know what she looks like. Perhaps I have seen her and forgotten. I try to pick through the swirling mess of my thoughts, but they give me nothing but confusion. Human hive. Mate. Interloper.
Mate.
I wonder what her cunt smells like…
There is an irritated sigh that leaks through my thoughts. Keep those images to yourself. I have a mate of my own and do not wish to hear about yours.
You have a mate?
Amy. Pick up her scent. More irritation. I have told you this.
All I want is mine, I tell him, putting ferocity into my thoughts. Let me hunt through the human hive—you can eat any of the humans I do not take as my own.
No. My mate has business here. It will be yours when we are done. Give me a day.
A…day. It sounds reasonable. I settle back down again, ignoring the flash of annoyance in the strange drakoni's thoughts.
Rast.
Yes. Rast. That is his name. I settle in to inhale my mate's scent and wonder what her cunt smells like. As I do, I see a faint light flash below, from the biggest of the human dwellings.