by Jamie Pope
She wrapped her lips around him and took him into her mouth. He buried his fingers in her curls and let out a guttural moan. She felt power in this. Power to make him feel good. Power to make his control slip. Her sexual experiences were incredibly limited. In college, she had been touched by boys. In adulthood, she had been kissed by men but that was it. She didn’t feel comfortable enough, safe enough to let her guard down. She wasn’t naïve. She knew about sex, about pleasure. She wanted to give it. She wanted to receive it. But she had been violated before. She wanted to choose who she shared this with.
Julian grabbed her hand and pulled her up. “But wait. I wasn’t done.”
“But I will be far too soon, if you keep doing that.”
“That’s the whole point, Julian. I want to make you feel good. I want to do this just for you.”
“Don’t do this for any man who won’t do it for you.”
He pulled her underwear down, pushed her against the nearest wall and went down on his knees. He tossed her leg over his shoulder, opening her to him. He looked up at her for a moment before he put his mouth between her legs. He licked the length of her and if his hands weren’t on her hips she would have slipped down the wall and dissolved in a puddle of mush. “You taste good.” He licked again, deeper this time. It couldn’t be possible for any woman to be this aroused. “Tell me what you like,” he said, kissing her there. “I want to do all those things to you.”
She could barely speak. Barely make sense of things in her mind. “I like you, Julian. I like everything that you do.”
He rose and crushed his mouth to hers. The kiss was so intense, so passionate that she needed it to go on forever. He made her feel so good all the time. She just wanted to return the favor, but he had bested her again. She reached for his erection and began to stroke him. No slow, exploring strokes, but ones that matched the intensity of their kiss.
But Julian King wasn’t satisfied with that. He was the type of man who went pleasure for pleasure. He lifted her up and took her to the couch, laying them both down so that they were on their sides, their bodies touching. He wrapped her leg around his hip and slipped two fingers inside of her while his thumb caressed her nub.
“Julian,” she moaned.
“Keep kissing me.” She did what he asked, giving him the deepest kisses she could manage all while sliding her hand up and down his powerful erection. She had never been this intimate with anyone. She wished she could have felt this sooner, had met him sooner. But if she had, she might not have been ready for it, ready for him.
She was trying to hold off her orgasm to make the feeling last longer, but she couldn’t hold it off anymore. He was too much. His taste, his scent, his touch were too much for her senses and she couldn’t keep control. She broke the kiss and cried out and he shuddered against her, a warm wetness seeping into her hand.
He gathered her closer and kissed her forehead and her cheeks and then her lips and she wanted to cry again. She was still feeling too raw, but it was a beautiful moment and she wouldn’t forget it. It was a beautiful moment that she wanted to repeat over and over again.
“Alex had a Jacuzzi room built here in his single days. Have you been in it yet?”
“No.”
“Good. I think it’s something we should try together.”
Chapter 12
Julian woke up next to Sunny a few hours later. She was cuddled into him, buried beneath the blankets in the guest bedroom. His sister and brother-in-law hadn’t been to this apartment in years. They had given their permission for her to use it as if it were her own, but she chose to stay in the smaller guest room. She didn’t want to be in the way even when there was no possible way she could.
She should have her own home. A real home. Not some small rented place. But he knew it would be nearly impossible to do on her own. It would be so easy for him to give her that. Whatever she wanted. She didn’t seem to want much of anything. But she needed more. She needed to be loved. She needed to be taken care of. Not with money or things. Her soul needed it. That he wasn’t so sure he could do. He could have married Regina because she could take care of herself. She never displayed her feelings. She never revealed herself to him. But with Sunny . . . She was strong and fragile. She was caring and sweet and loving and the thought of having all of her or being responsible for her happiness was overwhelming. His life was not for her. The hours. The intensity of his job. His drive for something greater. She deserved a nice husband with a quiet life and a handful of kids. He could see her being a mother. There was so much love inside of her.
He didn’t want to hurt her. She warned him not to hurt her. But what if he did? What if in a few years he decided that he didn’t want that kind of life? What if he got bored? What if he wanted something different?
The pressure of being with her was too much. He wanted to make love to her and in a way, he did that morning, but he couldn’t join his body with hers in that ultimate way. Sex had never had that much meaning for him, but with her it would. With her it would mean something. And once he crossed that line with her, he was committing himself to being with her.
“I know I should get up,” she said softly. “But I don’t think my bones are functioning.”
“It was the Jacuzzi. I’ve never seen anyone so delighted to be in one.”
“I’ve never been in one.”
“No?”
“I don’t often get to live in the third homes of professional football players.”
“You’ve never been to a resort with a Jacuzzi?”
“No. I’ve only been on little trips. Weekend girls’ getaways. I’ve always wanted to go to an island though. Or maybe just back to the ocean. I have a very clear memory of my mother and I going to a quiet beach when I was little. We used to spend hours there and I would lay next to her with my eyes closed and the sun beating down on my face. I’ve been to the beaches here, but it just hasn’t been the same. The water is different. The sand is different. It’s just different. I felt so happy then.”
“How old were you?”
“Maybe four. It’s before Mama got sick.”
“You remember when she got sick?”
“Yes. Clearly. It was like a before and after picture. We had a house and a routine and security and then we were driving cross country and living out of a car. And then moving from motels and shitty apartments every other month. It was like paradise and hell. There was no in between.”
“And yet you tell me she loved you and that you still love her.”
“She did love me, Jules. And I loved her so much because I can’t forget how happy things used to be. She was paranoid. But everything she did was to protect me. I just didn’t need that kind of protection.”
“I’ll take you to the beach.”
“When?” she asked with a delicious smile.
“Today. Any one you would like? I can get a helicopter.”
“Forget about the helicopter. Let’s get a private jet and go to Bora Bora.”
She was joking, but he was serious. He could fly them to the Hamptons for the day. He had so many football playing friends with second or third homes out there. It would be easy for him. “Bora Bora is a long flight. We could go to Puerto Rico. They have beautiful beaches. We could eat really good food. Have drinks right in the pool. I’m serious. We could go.”
“Julian King.” She kissed his cheek. “I don’t want you to take me to Puerto Rico. I would be happy to go to Coney Island though. Maybe eat a couple of hot dogs. In fact, I would be happy just to eat anything right now.”
His cell phone began to ring from his shorts that had been tossed on the chair when they came in the room.
“I’ll get it for you.” Sunny popped out of bed wearing a tiny nightie that she had put on after they had gotten out of the bath. It was short and white and so well-worn that it was nearly see-through. He grew hard again. He willed his body to behave because he had just talked himself out of taking that step with her, and yet in the next momen
t, he was planning to sweep her away.
She handed him his phone and he saw that it was his baby sister calling.
“Hey, snot face sister.”
“How are you, my stupid smelly brother? I called your office line first.”
“I’ m taking a day off.”
Sunny kissed the side of his neck. “I’m going to give you some privacy,” she whispered.
He wrapped his free arm around her. “You don’t have to go. I’m in your bed.”
“I’ll make coffee. Talk to your sister. Family is important.”
She walked out and Julian watched her, having a hard time taking his eyes off of her.
“Where are you? Could have sworn you just told a woman that you were in her bed.”
“I’m in your husband’s former bachelor pad.”
“With the friend you asked if we minded stayed there for a while?”
“Yes. I told you about Sunny.”
“I had originally thought Sunny was a boy Sonny until we got a handwritten note, a dozen brownies, and a rent check with sunflowers on it.”
“She paid you rent? I told her she didn’t have to. Everything she owned worth anything was destroyed and now she is paying rent to the two of you.”
“I’m sure she doesn’t want us to think she’s a mooch. Who is she, Julian? Mom told me you were with her when she called a couple of weeks ago. She asked me about her and for once I couldn’t rat you out.”
How could he describe who Sunny was to him? She wasn’t his girlfriend, or a fling, or a lover. But she wasn’t just a friend either. She was important to him. He cared about her. “It’s none of Mom’s business who she is.”
“She wants to know about your life, Jules. She wants you to be happy. And she’s trying. How long are you going to punish her?”
“Sunny said the same thing. I’m not punishing her. I just can’t forgive her and I don’t know how you can.”
“She’s my mother and sometimes I think the best thing she could have done for us was leave. Remember how Dad used to work all the time before she left? He cut back his hours and stopped working weekends. He ate dinner with us every night. He took us on long vacations. He was at every single game, recital, and parent-teacher conference. We may not have had a mother who could take care of us but we had a father who did, and we had a better childhood than most people in this world.”
“I guess you got me there. She made Dad a better father by being a terrible mother.”
Galen made a soft noise. “What else did Sunny say about Mom?”
“Sunny has no family so she thinks that I should make the effort to fix things with Mom.”
“She has no family?”
“She grew up in foster care and then became one of those bleeding heart social workers, so of course she would suggest fixing things with Mom.”
“She sounds smart, Jules.”
“She is.”
“Who is she to you?” Galen wouldn’t let it go. She needed a definition. He wasn’t sure he could give her one.
“She’s my friend. She’s my good friend and I care about her very much.”
“And what about Regina? I’m sure she wouldn’t be happy about you being friends with another woman.”
“We’re done. For good.”
“Good. I hate her.”
“I know.”
“I really hate her. Like so damn much.”
“I know.”
“She is the worst person for you. She makes you pompous and uptight. She would skin puppies for their coats and the fact that you spent so long with her makes me like you a little less.”
“Galen, did you call just to insult me?”
“Yes.” He could imagine the mischievous smile on his sister’s face. He missed her. She was the closest person to him when they were growing up and now that she was married, he rarely got to see her. “What other reason would I have for speaking to you? I want to see you. It’s been too long. I miss my stupid big brother.”
“I want to see you but I’ve got cases piling up.”
“You always have cases piling up. You can’t take a long weekend to see your sister? Daddy will be coming down to Fripp Island this summer. He has a lady friend he’s been seeing. He told me he wants me to meet her. I think it’s very serious. They are looking at houses.”
“What? Dad is seriously dating someone? Why didn’t he tell me?” He was sure his father had seen women over the years, but he had never shared that part of his life with them. Julian was positive his father would never risk love again. Never remarry. But apparently it was a possibility.
“When is the last time you spoke to him for more than five minutes? He didn’t want to share something like that with you in one of your famous rushed conversations. The only reason I get to speak to you for this long is because you took off work. I think I have Sunny to thank for that.”
And apparently he was too busy to know what was going on in the lives of the people he cared the most about. He didn’t feel good about that. In fact, he felt like the world’s biggest asshole.
“Alex and I are going to be at the house on the island until he gets cleared to go back and play. You have the rest of the summer to come see us. I’m not asking you to make any promises, but I’m asking you to try. Alex and I have some things we want to talk to you about.”
“What kind of things?”
“Just things. Try to come down.”
“Okay. I will.” He would. He would have to make some time. He had told Regina that his family was important to him and he had seen less of them because of her. Maybe because he knew they would never accept her. Maybe because being around them reminded him of who he once was and made him forget who he wanted to be.
“And bring Sunny too.”
“Galen . . . It’s not like that.”
“Oh, but I think it is.”
* * *
Sunny walked back into the room with two mugs of coffee in her hands. Julian looked so damn beautiful sitting up in bed shirtless and completely relaxed. He was going to break her heart. She knew it just by looking at him. He wasn’t for her. Not in the long run. They both knew it. After this case was over they were going to be done. It was for the best. But for now she was going to enjoy him. Enjoy this beautiful rare day she had off.
He put his phone on the nightstand. “You didn’t have to bring this to me. I would have come out.”
“I wanted to do something nice for you for a change.”
He took the mugs from her and put them down on the nightstand as well and then he reached for her, pulling her on top of him. “You do nice things for me.”
“Like what?” She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his strong chest.
“You like me.”
“Lots of people like you. You’re a good man.”
“That’s not true. My colleagues hate me. They think I don’t deserve to work at my firm. The only value my boss sees in me is my former career. But you just like me. If I had none of this, you would still like me.”
“You’re unhappy.” She looked up at him, realizing it for the first time. “Your job makes you unhappy. If you don’t feel like you’re being valued then find someplace that will give you more satisfaction.”
“I’m not unhappy. I just want more. I want to prove to them that I’m good enough and by making partner, no one can doubt that. I’ll have everything that I have been working so hard toward for the past twelve years.”
“Are you sure you’ll be happy after you get there or will it just be more of the same?”
“I don’t know, Sunny. But I’ve come this far. I can’t give it up right now. How many people who look like me and came from where I did get to be a partner at one of the top firms in the country?”
If that’s what he wanted, then that’s what she wanted for him. To be happy. To be fulfilled. To feel like he left an indelible mark on the world. “I know you’ll make partner soon. But if you decide that it’s not for you there’s no sh
ame in leaving. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone.”
He cupped her face in his large hands and kissed her so incredibly deep. It was painful to love him so much. “We need to get dressed now because if we don’t get out of this bed soon I’m going to want to stay all day.”
“What if that’s what I want, Julian?”
He looked at her for a long moment. She could see the arousal in his eyes, feel it pressed against her. “We rarely get the day off. Let’s see more than these four walls.”
He took her on a lunch cruise up the Hudson River. Sunny had never been on a boat before. She couldn’t take her eyes off the water or the scenery of the city as they passed through it. He was giving her another experience. She could find no words to thank him. There was nothing in return she could give a man who had experienced so much. All she could do was love him. She sensed he needed that. Sunny was sure that Regina had loved Julian in her own way and that his mother did too, but they couldn’t love him the way he needed. He needed to feel like he mattered. That’s why he drove himself so hard. He was a huge man who seemed to have everything anyone could ever want, but there was a hurt boy inside of him. Sunny had overheard a tiny bit of his conversation with his sister. He was still holding on to his anger over his mother’s abandonment. That would hold him back. That would keep him seeking the approval of those who wouldn’t matter in the long run.
She turned to him just after they stepped off the boat and onto dry land, and she hugged him tightly. “Thank you, Julian. That was so beautiful.”
“You don’t have to thank me again. I’ve never seen anyone so happy on a boat.”
“I’ve never been on a boat before.”
“No? Not even a rowboat? My dad used to take us fishing all the time.”
“Really? Did you catch anything?”
“No. Galen refused to touch the bait or take the fish off the hook. So basically we just sat in a boat all day and ate junk food.”
She grinned. “Sounds like my kind of day. Did you have fun?”
“Yeah. It was some of the best memories I had with my dad. No phones, no work. He was just with us.”