“Fine.” He waited, drawing on every ounce of patience he possessed.
She risked another glance up at him. “I suppose we do this scientifically?”
He frowned. “And that is how?”
“I’ll know when in my cycle I’m most fertile. I guess we try then.”
“And the rest of the time?”
“Go on as normal?” she suggested.
“Meaning?”
“Darn it, you’re deliberately making this hard, aren’t you?” A flare of temper surprised him, and gave him insight into how tense she was.
“I’m not trying to. Just lay it out.”
“I thought maybe we could go to the sea cottage when it was the right time. Away from our normal places, regular friends and all,” she said tentatively.
“Keep it clandestine?”
“Sort of.”
“Why?”
“Because if it doesn’t work, no one else needs to know,” she said quickly.
Tray thought about that a moment. He wasn’t sure if he liked the idea or not. What did it matter what other people knew or thought? Then he got it. She was the one who didn’t want sympathy if she couldn’t conceive. She was guarding herself.
“Okay.”
“Okay?” she repeated.
“If that’s one of your terms, I’m fine with it. But once you’re pregnant, then we tell the world.”
She blinked. “Sure. I’ll be so thrilled. You can come see him or her whenever you want. That’s the whole idea, to have a father who will be there for the baby as he grows up. He’ll want to know you and learn from you and all.”
“Good point. I have a condition of my own,” Tray said.
“You do? Okay. What is it?”
“We get married first.”
CHAPTER FOUR
“WHAT?” Lianne hadn’t expected anything like that. “We don’t need to get married to have a baby together. I wasn’t looking for a husband, but a father.”
“I’m not getting someone pregnant again who has complete control over what happens. If we’re married, we both have equal say over the child. Even if we divorce after the baby’s born, I’ll be the father.”
“You’d be the father anyway. I’m not fighting the issue. Your name would be on the birth certificate and everything.”
“I never suspected Suzanne would do what she did. I realize you are totally opposite in your view of life. For what it’s worth, I think you’ll make a terrific mother. And I want to be a part of any child we have from beginning to end. A legal, binding, no-getting-out-of-it connection that everyone in the world will recognize and acknowledge.”
Lianne swallowed; this was not what she expected. Mixed emotions surprised her. She felt a warm glow at his compliment, but was startled by his term. For a few days after her doctor’s visit, she’d fantasized about finding someone and falling madly in love in time to have a baby. She’d known Tray for five years. Yet taking this step seemed like walking a high-wire without a net. She thought she knew him, but he’d been throwing unexpected curves for the last few weeks.
She secretly wanted a man who would do anything for her, whether she was cranky or happy. Someone to build a life with, make memories with, to grow old with. He’d come to the cottage to help her out when she was ill. He’d tried to help her by introducing her to Mark. And he came from a strong family tie with his uncle.
She’d never envision marriage with Traynor Elliott. Could love grow? It hadn’t taken much last night to picture them making love. Her idea to escape to the sea cottage was to keep her separate parts of life just that, separate. She didn’t want him a fixture at her apartment. How could she have thought she could just tag some man as it and instantly make a baby? If it was as hard as the doctor suggested to conceive, they’d have to try more than once. If in the end she couldn’t conceive, she wanted to come out of any relationship with a whole heart.
“So you’re suggesting we marry, have a baby and get divorced—like all within a year?”
“I’m not suggesting anything except if you want me to father your baby, you marry me first.”
Suzanne had really done a number on him, she thought.
“You don’t love me,” Lianne said.
“You don’t love me,” he replied. “I don’t recall you talking about love when you said you would find a man to father your child. Even on that questionnaire I filled out, there was no mention of love. We already know each other pretty well. I’m interested in lots of things. I like sports. I value education. You could count on me being there all his life.”
She closed her eyes for a moment. Tray was a good man. She’d been out on several dates over the last couple of weeks with men she hardly knew. None of them had felt right. Time was so short, could she risk the time to meet another three or four men and find none of them appealed to her? There was always the hope that the next man she met would be the love of her life. But what if he weren’t? Or the one after? Or the one after that?
Could she take a chance on a man she liked and admired? One she did not have any trouble picturing kissing her and touching her and making love to her. One who was strong and focused and terrific father material. Opening her eyes she stared right into his.
“Okay, then. I guess we have a deal.”
“I promise I’ll do all in my power to keep our child safe and happy,” he said.
Lianne gave a half smile. “So will I. This will be a well-loved child—if I can get pregnant.” For a moment she almost suggested they seal the deal with a kiss.
Instead she stood and carried her dish to the sink. She looked in the cupboard beneath and found soap. Tray also rose and brought his things, putting the dish and cup on the counter next to the sink.
“I’ll wash. You cooked breakfast. It won’t take long,” Lianne said. “I’d like to get going if we’re heading back to D.C. soon.” She refused to look at Tray, or even let herself think about the bargain they’d made. She was already having doubts. How could she carry off such a charade? She was so much more comfortable discussing projects or brainstorming security measures than this. When he moved near, she almost jumped out of her skin. She was aware of Tray as never before. She could see him from the corner of her eye. His shoulders were broad, his posture that quintessential male confidence as he leaned against the counter and watched her.
Soon he’d kiss her. She swallowed, tempted to steal a glance at his mouth. Would that telegraph her curiosity? She’d bet anything she was going to love his kisses.
Feeling unsettled at the intimacy of her thoughts, she wondered if she should discuss the situation further or hope everything worked out. She knew it would be awkward the first time. Anticipation and dread began to build. When? Where?
She liked to know ahead of time exactly what was happening. She could see a dozen different scenarios play out, none of them the ideal future she’d once hoped for. At least she could keep her job, no matter what. She loved her work. If she had waited too long for a family, it would have to be the consolation.
“You analyze things too much,” he commented.
“That’s what I do, analyze things,” she replied, hoping the sudden tension between them would dissipate. She couldn’t work around Tray if she felt she was walking on eggshells.
“That’s your job, but you’re carrying it into personal life.”
“I do things that way. Always have, which is probably why I’m good at my job. I’m trying to get a handle on how things will play out. Imagine different scenarios, come up with different plans to defuse adverse situations. You know that.”
“Probably in ways you can’t imagine,” he said. He leaned closer and brushed a few wispy tendrils of her hair from her cheek. Lianne held her breath at the wild feelings that pounded through her at his touch.
“Don’t try to foresee the future,” he said, watching her hair. “Go with what’s happening now. We’re two reasonable adults who want a child. We’ll have a baby and we’ll decide then how we’ll pro
ceed. When it’s an infant, it’ll need you more than me. But once it grows older, we can share the responsibilities and time with him or her.”
“I wonder if it’ll be a boy or a girl,” she said, not wanting to dwell on the actual act of procreating. That would make her crazy!
“Which ever we have, I’m sure we’ll both adore the baby.”
Too bad the parents didn’t adore each other, she thought, though there was sex appeal in spades. She flicked another glance at Tray and found his dark eyes studying her. Licking her lips quickly, she wondered if he was as attracted as she.
Tray leaned back and let his hand drop to his side. He hadn’t realized until this moment how much he’d wanted this—and how uncertain he’d been of her answer. Now it was settled. He’d have a baby that no one would ever be able to take away from him. He was more like his uncle and mother than his father. He wanted a child to follow him.
And he would have a wife. That was nonnegotiable. Maybe not fair to Lianne to saddle her with the condition when he was still trying to protect himself from Suzanne. But he couldn’t take that risk another time.
It would work out. He’d appreciated her coming with him to deal with this. He knew Lianne had a practical nature that appealed to his own. They’d make this work.
“I’ll make the arrangements when we get back,” Tray said. “Any special day you’d like to get married?”
“We’re not telling anyone, right?” she said. She could imagine the fuss her mother would make planning a wedding. There’d be friends and neighbors Lianne had known all her life to be invited. All the aunts and uncles and cousins, grandparents. She couldn’t see getting away with anything less than a full-blown production that would take months to put together. If she didn’t get pregnant, she and Tray could quietly get a divorce and no one would be disappointed the marriage hadn’t lasted.
Yet she couldn’t imagine doing all this without telling Annalise. Her twin could be counted on to keep quiet about it. If she got pregnant, she counted on the excitement her parents would feel about a coming grandchild to counter any hurt at being left out of their daughter’s wedding. They had other daughters to plan weddings for.
“Not until you’re pregnant,” Tray said.
“Then any day suits me,” she said.
Tray stopped at her apartment when they reached Washington and insisted on carrying her suitcase up to her front door.
“Do you want to come in?” she asked.
“No, I’m heading for the office. I’ll let you know what I arrange.” He nodded once and turned to leave.
Lianne watched him as he strode away. Not even a kiss on the cheek for the future mother of his child. She shivered wondering if she’d done something extremely dumb. Too late now. The bargain was made.
Turning, she entered, putting the suitcase to one side. She then headed for the phone to call her sister.
“Guess what,” she said when Annalise answered.
“You found Mr. Right and I’ll be an auntie in nine months,” Annalise said.
Lianne took a deep breath. What if she did fall in love with Tray? He had all the attributes she wanted in a father. In a husband as well? She should not burden her sister with all the pesky details behind the bargain—would Annalise try to talk her out of the plan?
“I’m getting married and going to have a baby as soon as we can get me pregnant,” she said in a rush.
The silence on the other end lasted several seconds. “Married? Who’s the lucky man?” she asked.
“Tray,” Lianne said, then held her breath.
She hears a whoosh of breath across the line. “I always thought there was something between the two of you. Congratulations. What was it? He got jealous of you seeing all these men and you realized they were dweebs and he was the only man for you?”
Lianne laughed, feeling so comfortable with her sister. Maybe that would be a spin they could give it. “Something like that. And—he wants a baby as much as I do.”
“Well, that’s a good thing. Have you told Mom yet? She’s going to be thrilled to death.”
“No. And don’t you tell her, either.”
“I won’t spoil your surprise. But I’d love to be there when you spring it on her.”
“It won’t be for a while.”
“What won’t?” Annalise asked.
“Telling her. Or anyone else for that matter. We want to keep this on the quiet for now.”
“Why?”
Good question. It was do or die time. Did she give her sister the real story, or gloss it over? No question, she trusted Annalise. “It’s complicated, but if I don’t get pregnant, we’ll split.”
There was a pause on the other end. “The jerk. How dare he put such a limitation on your marriage!”
“He didn’t, I did.”
“Are you nuts?”
“Listen, Annalise, I may not be able to get pregnant. You know the doctor said there was a risk I’d never conceive. I don’t want to hold a man who wants children to a childless marriage. Would you?” When she’d mentioned that to Tray, he refused to believe she wouldn’t.
“If I loved him to bits and he loved me, children would be a bonus, not the main focus of the relationship.”
“Still, it is my decision and I don’t want others knowing just yet.”
“What does Tray say about that?” Annalise asked.
“He thinks we will get pregnant.”
“Good for him—he’s an optimist. I like the way he thinks. So are you moving into his place or he into yours? When are you getting married? What are you going tell Mom and Dad when you do get pregnant—Oops, guess we forgot to tell you about our wedding?”
“That’s something we’ll have to deal with when and if the time comes. Maybe we could have a ceremony for the family then.”
“I’m coming over. I want to see you face-to-face to make sure about this,” Annalise said.
Lianne sighed. She loved her sister, but sometimes she was too astute.
“I’ll be home all day…come when you can.” Might as well give in to the inevitable. Annalise was a force to be reckoned with.
Tray called Lianne after nine that evening. She had showered and prepared for bed, curled up in a favorite chair in her pajamas reading a good book when the phone rang.
“I made arrangements for next Tuesday. I had Emily check your schedule for that day. No appointments noted on your calendar. Does that work for you?”
“Tuesday it is.” She felt a zing of anticipation. After the wedding, would he want to sweep her away somewhere and get started on that baby? Or would he honor their agreement and wait for her to tell him when she was most fertile? She wished she had her calendar handy—maybe the two dates collided. Or maybe she should forget that restriction. Being more proactive could be a good thing.
“We’ll go to the courthouse in Arlington. No waiting for a license in Virginia. A local judge will marry us.”
“Fine.” Good thing she never pined for a white dress and a dozen bridesmaids. It was never going to happen.
“Did you want a honeymoon?”
Lianne was startled by that thought. “I didn’t expect one. But we can drive over to the beach, if you like, spend the night at the cottage.” It would be something out of the ordinary for a wedding night, even if not super special.
“What did you do today after you got home?” Tray asked.
“I told my sister. Annalise came right over and gave me the third degree. But she’s cool with keeping it quiet. She’s not quite as optimistic as you that I’ll conceive.” Lianne wasn’t going to tell him how Annalise was convinced that Tray would not want a divorce no matter the outcome with a baby. But then, her twin still thought there was a closer tie to this relationship than there was. Lianne couldn’t tell her it was totally a business arrangement—not in light of her sister’s happy marriage. “How were things in the office?”
“Hectic as usual. But I cleared my calendar for Tuesday and can rearrange a couple of
appointments Wednesday morning.” He began to talk about an upcoming visit of an important businessman from Brazil, and Lianne shifted gears into business mode. Annalise would be horrified to find a newly engaged couple preferred to talk business than about themselves, but Lianne felt closer to Tray discussing business than their marriage.
Once the conversation ended, Lianne called her mother to make sure no one had plans for the sea cottage. October was not a month most of the family liked to visit the beach. She loved walking along the windy coast and watching the breakers. But next week she didn’t want anyone to arrive unexpectedly. No one planned to use it that her mother knew about.
“You’re taking some time off, honey?” her mom asked.
“Might go there for a couple of days. I love it in the fall.”
“I prefer it warm and sunny.”
“It’ll probably be sunny,” Lianne said, knowing her mother loved sitting on the warm sand beneath a wide umbrella and reading. She rarely went into the sea, or into the sun, but enjoyed being lazy and watching others take advantage of the water.
“But not warm. Bundle up well.”
Lianne agreed, smiling. No matter how old she was, her mother was still Mom.
Despite the fact it was not a love match—or even an auspicious night as her calendar reminded her when she checked, Lianne wanted something nice to be married in and something sexy to wear that first night.
She was having second thoughts, and third and fourths as well. During the day, she tried to ignore the upcoming nuptials and treat Tray like she’d always done. But during one staff meeting, her mind wandered to what it would be like to be married to him. He was a dynamo around the office, expecting the most from those who worked for him. He knew his business and made sure everyone was on the same wavelength for various projects. He was tough but fair. And unswerving in his goals.
Of course he was also the best looking male in the office, in her opinion. Could she really be married to him?
The Pregnancy Promise Page 6